We've all been there.
You start a diet high on motivation and kicking serious ass.
Salads are delightful, you embrace the water, and of course, the candy dish is a breeze to skip as you envision someone who just sneezed in their hands reached into without a courtesy hand sanitizing.
We call this diet utopia and it's what we all think will happen from now until goal weight is achieved.
This is why diets STOP working. You want the easy part to last forever.
Girl. Get off your unicorn. We aren't flying around rainbows. Losing weight is more like riding a flying monkey in the Wizard of Oz on a stormy day.
You will have moments where the boss yells at you and the candy dish could have mold on it. You'll be rinsing that shit off and eating it to deal.
The reason why diets seem to quit working is simple.
Have insane expectations that when it feels hard something is wrong. No. It feels hard because you have to quit using food to deal with assholes.
You overeat and then start thinking something is wrong with YOU. Insert bullshit thoughts like “I can never lose weight” or “I knew it was too good to be true…I always fail.”
In my 12 years helping 1000's of women lose all of their weight not one has said, “I never overate. That was the easiest thing I ever did.”
Every one of them overate and learned how to keep going. They accepted that when they overeat it's just a part of their process of learning new ways to deal with life.
November 16 FB Live Show Notes: Why Diets Quit Working
Corinne lost 100 pounds and created a free weightloss course that you can find at www.pnp411.com
On December 22nd, Corinne will be releasing a free training to anyone that has taken her free weightloss course. It will include videos that teach you how to get ready for 2020. She will also be doing a huge class on setting your weightloss roadmap on December 29th.
If you've taken the free course and would like to take it again, email email@example.com and they can grant you access.
Learning how to strip things down and let things go will eventually help you to lose your weight.
Corinne's lipstick is from Tarte
Corinne's program for her private members in called No B.S. She's in the middle of revamping it now and making it even more fabulous. She's also including a maintenance program with it. She teaches you things that you can do for the rest of your life.
Why do diets that are working stop working?
#1 You start doing little quits.
Little quits are subtle ways we're not doing all the things, even though we're thinking “I'm doing all the things.” Corinne often has members who say that they are doing everything right and not losing weight. The members have a daily PNP planner that they fill out. Corinne will ask them about all of the habits they are supposed to be doing. They are usually not 100% on plan. She wants them to look at what they're doing in the percentage that they're not on plan. That small percentage are the little quits. It might feel like you're doing everything. What are your numbers telling you? If the scale isn't moving and your habit tracker tells you that 10% of the time you're not on-plan, you're not doing everything. It's a lie you have to stop telling yourself. Why are you sometimes not doing what you say you'll do?
If you're saying a little won't hurt and you're not losing weight, a little is hurting.
It's a lie. The more upset and frustrated you are, the more you're going to want the candy. Instead of spending energy being upset, spend it figuring out the little ways you might not be doing everything. Do you really want three Hershey's kisses to cause you to be frustrated with everything that is happening? The difference between someone that is going to lose weight and someone that is going to stall out in a week is all in the smallest of changes.
Any time you catch yourself making all or nothing statements (I'm doing everything right, nothing is working, etc.), you might be lying to yourself.
Track super honestly for a week. After tracking, you will probably realize why you're not losing weight. Go to work on those little things that need to be changed.
Corinne's new No B.S. course is about making losing weight easier and not making it restrictive.
After you lose some weight, you may have to make small changes to lose more. It doesn't mean you have to get super restrictive. At 250, start thinking about the small things you need to do to change. When you get down to 200, you may have to look at additional small things to change. It's a mindset skill that we all have to learn. It's not just an eat this, don't eat that thing. When diets stop working are because we quit on ourselves at some point.
#2 You didn't anticipate your obstacles.
We think that when we lose weight, everything has to be perfect. Life is not perfect. You might overeat because you had a bad day because life is busy because someone pissed you off. The majority of us are overweight because we choose easy and go through the drive-thru. A diet will not fix life. Life may still be crazy. Your boss may still be a jerk. You have to learn to manage your mind without food.
Your thoughts and feelings are what drive you to quit. Are you afraid to commit? Have you not learned to deal with your emotions without food? Those are the things you need to be aware of otherwise every diet will blow up in your face. Thinness does not fix loneliness, tiredness, cranky husbands, busy schedules, jerk bosses. People think that when they get thin, all these things in their life that caused them stress when they were overweight, will suddenly go away. That's not how it works. Your kids aren't suddenly going to be super well-behaved because you're thin. You have to learn how to deal with life. You have to learn skills while losing weight that teaches you not to depend on food to get through those things.
Plateau or Stall
If you have 30-60 days of detailed data and have followed it 100% and not lost weight, you're in a stall or plateau. If you're not willing to track 100% then you're not serious about trying to get passed the stall. Most stalls or plateaus are self-induced by ignoring the one little area that you're refusing to make changes.
Questions & Answers
Q. I've been sick with a cold and had no appetite. I've been struggling with my hunger cues.
A. Your hunger cues were probably right on cue because your body is trying to use its energy to heal itself, not to run your digestive system. Trust that your body knows what it's doing. If your body is hungry, then eat. If your thought is “I'm afraid to eat” then you'll end up losing weight out of a fear of food. You don't want to be afraid of food. Listen to your body and your body won't fail you. “I'm going to figure this out and my body won't steer me wrong.” You have to work to have a healthy relationship with food. Most people just want to be normal around food. They don't want to think about it all of the time. They can't even think about Thanksgiving without worrying about what they're going to eat. Corinne teaches her ladies to plan their food in the morning so that they don't have to think about food the rest of the day.
Q. What's the best way to handle forgetting the off-plan eating? Such as grab-assing eating or getting a second margarita.
A. Keep sticky notes in your purse, so that if you eat something extra, you can make a quick note of it and stick it in your planner when you get home.
Q. Is it a bad sign if you gain water weight easy? If I eat off-plan, I gain several pounds.
A. It's not a bad sign, it's your body working in the normal way. You have muscles and when you're losing weight you tend to eat less sodium-rich foods, so the muscles hold on to less water. If you eat something with a bunch of sodium, the muscles hold on to water. Part of the reason that people on keto lose weight so quickly is because they lose a bunch of water weight right away. The tribe does a worksheet called “hello scale” that they fill out after weighing in each week where they analyze how they showed up over the last week.
Q. How often do I weigh myself while losing weight?
A. As often as you want.
Q. Do you think hormones play a factor in how fast you lose weight?
A. It's not worth consuming your thoughts about it. Focus more on your behaviors and how you're showing up and less time worrying about hormones. It's more useful to think about if you're staying consistent if you're working on your relationship with food.
Q. When do I start with simple recipes because I'm so lost with food that I don't know what to eat anymore?
A. Pinterest, maybe. Corinne doesn't give out meal plans or recipes. She's more concerned with why you're “lost with food”? That's the real question. Why have you decided that you're helpless in this situation? If someone gave you a million dollars to lose 30 pounds, you could probably figure out what foods to put in your mouth. When you tell yourself that you don't know what to do, you'll probably just continue to eat the same food you've been eating. That hasn't been getting you to where you need to be. If I was going to solve this, what would I be doing???
Q. I started working from home and find myself doing half-ass things. What's the best way to organize PNP and work things?
A. A calendar. You don't find yourself half-ass-ing. You're choosing it. Treat yourself like a toddler that needs to be re-routed. Stop and do this, stop and do this. The problem isn't that you need to change things so that you want to do it. The problem is that you need to teach yourself to do it even when you don't want to.
Q. How do you not let the scale derail you? I'll step on the scale after 3-4 days and not see if moving and think “f*ck this is not working.”
A. You have the wrong sentence. You're thinking that the scale has to move after three days. You've decided three days is when the scale should be moving. What if it's 10 days? The scale cannot derail you, you're choosing to quit. I'm not allowed to let myself think it's not working till 10 days.
Q. I'm doing the daily plan. Breakfast and lunch are easy because I'm a creature of habit. For dinner, I have a scenario of one or two because sometimes my husband will want to go out to dinner.
A. This is okay.
Q. I'm talking shade to myself during the day and then seeking relief from food at night. How can I start treating myself better during the day?
A. When you catch yourself saying something bad to yourself, stop and say “I don't talk like that anymore.” You may need to say it to yourself a million times.
Q. How do I get back on track when I go off the rails?
A. You just make a decision. The best thing you can ever tell yourself is “what is my next best decision?” Quit describing it like it's a complete shit show. Make it boring “I just ate these things.” Don't make it a drama. Don't set yourself up for extremes all the time. You ate some food on this day, now what? What is my next best decision?
Q. What are some thoughts to work on regarding fear while losing weight? Fear has been coming up a lot even though the scale is going down.
A. Do some writing to figure out where the fear is coming from? What am I afraid of? I'm afraid this will happen (list it out). Then challenge those things. Is it worth stopping losing weight because of this?
Q. I make 24 hours daily. I've been stalling and now I'm going more and more off-plan.
A. You'll need to figure it out. Are you realistically planning or going back to old diet mentality and making unrealistic plans? Are you meeting yourself where you're at now? Do a thought download. Go through Module 4 in No B.S. Allow yourself to write about it.
Q. Advice on getting my parents on board?
A. None. Let them do their thing. You can try talking to them. The best thing you can do is lose weight for yourself and be an example of what's possible for other people. Don't come at it from a place of superiority. If you want someone else to change the way they are around food, you have to make the way you handle food look inviting. Show them how amazing this is. When you act in an amazing way, people usually want in on that.
Q. I ate off-plan, it is what it is.
A. Don't say “it is what it is.” It's sitting there waiting to be figured out. It matters. Don't beat yourself up, but it matters. Get curious about it. What can I learn about this?
Q. I'm going on a wine-walk weekend with my friends. When I drink, I feel the need to binge. Any advice?
A. Know that when you drink wine you'll need to manage your mind more. Tell yourself that you're doing things differently this time.
Q. My fear is that the last time I lost weight, I lost family and friends. How do I work past that?
A. Did they walk away because you got thin? Some people lose weight and get so about their weight loss that they become someone that no one wants to be around. Your weight loss is for you, don't rub it in people's faces. Then there are friends and family that the only thing you had in common was food. Without food or a weight problem, there's no relationship left. There are people that may not want to be with you if you're not going to binge with them anymore. When you change your life and work on yourself, some people may not relate. This is normal. When you take away drinking, drugs, and food, there are people you outgrow.
Q. I lost 48 pounds, but gained 3 back last week. Now I'm grab-assing and I need to know how to get back on track fast.
A. The next best decision. You lost 48 pounds, don't let 3 pounds be the springboard for 45 more. Don't focus on the 3, focus on the 48. For 48 pounds you figured out how to make the next best decision. You can do it again. It's not that hard to figure out.
On December 22nd, be on the lookout for the free training coming out. The tribe will open on December 29th. You'll learn to lose your mental weight. That is important stuff.
Don't forget the podcast. This FB Live will be released on the Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne Crabtree podcast on Saturday. www.phit.click/podcast