Hello, everybody. Welcome back.

Today is another special episode. Recently, I was on one of our Sunday coaching calls where I spend two hours with my members every week. I bring women up and we work through the things that are basically screwing up their weight loss and the things they know they need to fix so that they can lose their weight.

Very often, that is self-talk. That is things going on in their lives. At No BS, we work on things that are way deeper than just, “Eat this, don’t eat that. Here are your calories. Here are your macros.” We’re not about that.

One of the things I keep hearing from listeners is that you really love it when you can eavesdrop on some of the things that we do on the inside of the membership. So today, I’m sharing a very special moment.

I had just finished coaching one woman, and I was getting ready to coach someone else. I went on a rant. I really wanted to help my women understand that they do not need to be perfect, that they really deserve to work on themselves, and that I wanted to be the one helping them. I was so passionate that I ended up crying in the middle of it.

I thought this would be something meaningful for you. I want you to listen to it because it is important that we don’t quit in weight loss, that you learn how to take care of yourself. I just think weight loss is all about taking care of yourself in the best way possible.

When you really learn how to take care of yourself, and I don’t mean by eating the perfect foods and stuff, but I am talking about all the ways women need to take care of themselves—rest, breaks, help, self-care, all the different things—weight loss is just bigger than some dude telling you, “Here’s what you get to eat today, and here’s how much. Now go off, do a workout, come back, and tell me that you did it.”

I don’t want that for women anymore. So I hope you enjoy this little sneak peek because my members really enjoyed it. I think you’ll enjoy it, and I think you’ll get so much out of it because we are going to talk about why we feel like we can’t lose weight and the things that we really need to change in order to get there.

Enjoy.

Belief is something that the bulk of us struggle with. I struggle with belief in all kinds of things, hard. I think what saved me is that even back in the day, before I really knew that you didn’t have to believe, I didn’t logically know this, but there was something going on inside of me that was like, “I don’t need you to believe right now. I just need you to not act like somebody who doesn’t believe.”

For me, that was so important when I first started because every day I doubted it all. I cried probably the first three months. I was still crying about my weight, even though I was doing things. I was still scared to death, still crying that I was so out of shape. In my mind, I was a loser mother and a loser wife and blah, blah, blah. None of that stuff stopped in the beginning.

But I also had a couple of other powerful little narratives that I just made myself think about.

One, I knew that I was not going to do anything to lose weight that I couldn’t do for the rest of my life. I had just had an ass full of diets. I was not going to do anything that I couldn’t do for the rest of my life.

Now, let me explain that for just a hot second. What I did in the beginning to get me going, I wasn’t doing at the end anymore. I didn’t need it anymore. But I met myself where I was in the beginning. Then, when I got good at those little bitty things, a little bit of confidence grew. Then I was able to do other things that I could see doing for the rest of my life.

As I lost weight, what I was willing to do for the rest of my life was changing and evolving because I was allowing myself to get small wins. I was allowing myself the time to fundamentally change the foundation for what I would need for each level. It was increasing.

I think that’s a part that you guys miss out on. You think that what you’re willing to do on day one is what you’re going to be doing until the last breath you draw on this earth. That’s not how it works. We just need to figure out what you’re willing to do today, and we need to just be doing that.

Eventually, you get good at that. It becomes a new norm. It becomes your new baseline. Then you’re ready to challenge yourself because you’ve seen yourself already change something.

First and foremost was this promise to myself that I wasn’t going to do anything I wasn’t willing to do for the rest of my life. That just evolved as I went along, even to this day.

I worked out before I came onto this call today. I just want to say, I want to be real honest, I didn’t go to church today. It was pouring down rain here, and our parking lot to get to our church is way far away. I mean, it’s like a five-minute walk. I had to record and be here today. I was like, “I won’t even be able to get my hair dry by the time I get done.” So I did skip church this week. I am going to listen to something later on today. I make that promise to everybody.

But I worked out today before this call because I’m going to be in a three-day meeting Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. I knew that those mornings, because I’m going to be downtown Nashville, I wasn’t going to have a chance.

Day one Corinne was not planning ahead. Day one Corinne was taking a 15-minute walk each day because that was the only promise she could make to herself. Here I am thousands of days later, and my baseline now is someone who figures out how to get her workouts in each week to the best of her ability.

That’s the new baseline habit. It doesn’t mean every week they all get done, but this week I was like, “If I start them on Sunday, I think I could get them all done this week and just take my two days off. Two of the days I’m downtown. I’ll only have to get up real early one day.”

It’s just important for y’all to know that piece.

The second thing that was really key for my belief, really key, was for me to be aware of every single time. I called it “old me thinking” all the time. I would catch myself saying, “We can’t do this,” or, “A little won’t hurt,” “This tastes so good,” “Might as well have it,” “You’ll never lose your weight,” “You’ll be fat the rest of your life.”

Any time I could hear those things—and don’t ask me why, because I didn’t even read self-development back then—but something in me clicked that if I’m going to lose my weight, I can’t just let myself think those things.

Now, I can have those thoughts, but old Corinne had those thoughts and acted upon them. She believed them. She thought they justified her choices. They were the king ding-dong excuse, or that is what she blamed for why she couldn’t lose her weight.

I did a lot of blaming, excusing, and justifying, and I knew that I wasn’t going to lose weight if I was going to blame, justify, and excuse all the time.

So I could have any shitty thought that I wanted to have, but I got so good at saying, “That is the way old Corinne thinks. New Corinne doesn’t act like that.” So if I said, “You’re never going to be able to lose your weight,” I’d be like, “That is old Corinne thinking. I need to remember I am figuring this out, so I’m going to do something today that helps me.”

I mean, I was hardcore about it. Very hardcore. That is what it takes. It is not going to be a matter of you knowing your perfect hunger signals, exactly when your body signals you’ve had enough. That stuff is like the things we do. But deep down, what’s really going to help you is to not die by a thousand cuts because you’re letting excuse, blame, and justification let you do little bitty things that fuck the whole process up.

So you do not need to believe that you can lose weight. You just can’t act like someone who believes they can’t lose weight. You just can’t let that be the only thing that you tell yourself.

If you say, “I don’t think I can lose weight. I know I can’t lose weight because I’ve never done it before, because every single time I’ve failed in the past,” whatever your litany of blame, excuse, and justification is, you owe it to yourself to say, “And here’s also what’s true. I am in No BS. I’d like to figure this out.”

If I had to guess, for all of you, I just want to know how many people would like to figure out their weight loss. All right, now tell me in the chat if you’re like, “No, I prefer not to figure out my weight loss. I’d like to stay just like I am.” Unless you’re in maintenance. Now, maintenance people don’t get to answer. That’s a whole different thing. Active weight loss people.

All right. Said no one in the chat. Nobody is like, “I would like to not figure it out. I’d like to just keep paying you money every month because I like your ass. You seem like a charitable donation that I love making.” Nobody’s here for that.

So it’s really important.

“I just don’t trust I can figure it out.” That’s a great comment. Why do you need to trust? Sue, answer that. Why do you need to, after everything I just said? Trust is another excuse. “I just don’t trust that I can figure it out.”

So when we think that, we need to also say, “But I’d like to. But I’d like to. And I know there are a million reasons why I don’t trust myself, but there are also a million things I can do in the future to prove all that wrong.” That is equally as true.

But y’all tell me these thoughts, like Sue’s telling me, “I don’t trust I can figure it out,” as if now, Corinne, I’m fixing to tell you one you’ve never heard. Like I’m fixing to lay it on you. This is so different than what you’ve been talking about.

It ain’t no different. It’s one more thought in a pile of shitty ones.

If you don’t believe you can lose weight, that’s the same thing as saying, “I don’t trust.” They’re no different. They’re literally just thoughts.

They are things that your brain, right now, is designed to explain to you. If your brain wasn’t designed to explain things, it would be so simple. I would lay out the basics, Sue, and then here’s what would happen. You’d be like, “Do those.” We wouldn’t believe. We also wouldn’t disbelieve. We would be very...

If you’ve ever used any AI, if you’ve ever used ChatGPT or Claude or anything, it would be like you’d be the AI. Like, “Okay, this is what I’m supposed to do. You gave me my command. That’s what I’m going to do.”

But our brains aren’t wired to just do what we hear. Our brains need an elaborate story, and they are skewed to tell a terrible story first.

Sue, this is why: your brain doesn’t want to lose weight. Here’s why it doesn’t want to lose weight. It’s worked really hard over the last few years to form habits around food. It’s like, “Oh, Sue, when you get stressed, we eat. That’s a habit. Sue, I’m feeling bad about your weight again. Let’s go to the pantry.” That’s a habit. “Sue, I don’t trust that you can lose weight, so now let’s go get some food. We might as well just eat dinner like we always do. We might as well eat our nighttime snacks like we always do. We might as well eat on the weekend like we always do.”

The brain isn’t saying any of this shit, Sue, because it’s true. It’s wired for you to not change your habits.

Tell me in the chat, how many of you have woken up and you’re right-handed? So let me just talk only to the righties. Now, I’m not being biased here. My husband and over 50% of my actual family are left-handed, but Corinne’s a righty. I don’t know why God gave me a left hand. It is very much dysfunctional.

How many times have all you righties woken up one morning and just said, “Today’s the day. I’m going to start writing with my left hand. This is going to be awesome, and I can’t wait. It’s going to go great”? Never. No.

Now, all of us use our left hand. Yeah, we could figure it out. It would be hard. It’d be tough. It would be illegible for a while. We’d want to go for our right hand and stuff. But we don’t naturally want to do something we absolutely could do simply because our brain knows if you’re going to change a lifetime habit, that’s going to take work.

The brain does not want to do work. The brain is not wired to want to change habits. But that doesn’t mean you can’t change habits. That’s a big difference that y’all need to get a distinction on.

Your brain is not wired to believe that you can lose weight. It’s not incentivized or motivated to trust that you can do it. There’s nothing that is ever, ever, ever going to come and happen to your brain that makes it just wake up one day and say, “I just want to do everything that I don’t normally do. I want to drive to work in a new way. I want to write with my non-dominant hand today.”

It’s not wired to do it, but it can.

So you need to remind yourself that just because I don’t believe, just because I don’t trust myself and it feels really powerful, that really doesn’t mean that I can’t. It just means that between me and being able to do it is a lot of little habits that have to change over time.

The pace at which I eat has to change. How much I think about my food has to change. Sometimes the quality of foods that I eat will change some. The amounts I serve myself automatically, that I’m just used to dumping on my plate, are probably going to have to change. What I always order when I go through a drive-thru, when I go to a restaurant, when I go anywhere, probably, as a habit, has to change.

I have to look for all the little places things are automated, and I need to start making some changes until those become my new foundation, until my brain gets used to doing it. And it’s going to be just like your handwriting. It will take a while for it to be the new normal.

Just imagine if you’ve written with one hand all of your life, and now you suddenly are going to have to use the other one. It’s not a smooth ride at first. There’s low-level frustration because you’re going to want to be able to use it. You’re not going to like that you’re not good at it yet. But if I took away your right hand and you had to use your left hand, you’d keep going.

I think what a lot of you have to do is take away the option of quitting for yourself. Just because it’s frustrating, just because you want it to go faster, just because it’s not perfect, just because it’s sloppy right now, you have to stop giving yourself the option to quit over that. That just means it’s part of the process.

But we quit because we don’t think it’s part of the process.

You quit because if all you were doing was being frustrated that it’s taking some time to get good at it, we’d all keep going. But that’s not what we’re doing. We’re not frustrated at the process. We’re angry, disappointed, ashamed, and mad at ourselves. We call ourselves stupid, undisciplined, lazy. We tell ourselves, “Well, you’re never going to be able to do it. You’re just not good at it. You can’t trust yourself around food.”

That’s why we quit.

We never quit because the process is sloppy or hard. Learning anything, that’s just part of it. We quit because between the process being hard and figuring it out, in the middle is the conversation you have with yourself. If the best you’ve got is beat-downs, you’ll quit over the beat-down because you won’t want to feel emotionally bad.

There’s a difference between a process feeling hard and you being hard on yourself about that. A lot of you have got to segment out where you’re being hard on yourself because the people who don’t believe and the people who don’t trust always have that problem.

So it’s not that you don’t trust yourself. It’s that when you don’t do it right or the way you think you should, you are an asshole to yourself. I guarantee you that language is not great. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even deem yourself an untrustworthy person.

Just think about it. The only people in my life that I’ve ever looked in the face and said, “I can’t trust you,” are people that have hurt me. If you’re looking in the mirror and saying, “I can’t trust you,” then that means you’re looking in the mirror and saying, “Corinne, you hurt me. You say these things to me.”

You spend your life breaking up with yourself over and over and over again. We don’t have to be in that relationship at all.

When we talk about where our control is in all this, that is where a lot of it is. We control how hard we make the process. We control whether we quit or not. We also control how we speak to ourselves.

For a lot of you, the biggest habit that you’re going to have to break, and that is the hardest, is the way you speak to yourself. You have to listen for it. It’s not always like a slap in the face or a punch in the throat. Sometimes it’s the little things like, “Well, it’s not belief. It’s just that I don’t trust myself.”

That probably came out not even feeling like anything. It probably just felt like a truth that you were speaking into the world. It probably didn’t even occur to you that that was like you looking at your best friend and saying, “You know what? Here’s the problem in our relationship. I don’t trust you.”

We can rebuild trust by not yelling at ourselves anymore and being more kind, considerate, compassionate, and curious around when we are overeating. What’s really going on?

One of the things that I think all of you can take to the bank is that I will always be helping you with your weight loss. I will help you figure out why food is so hard for you. What is it doing for you? What is it helping you escape from in your life? What is it creating for you?

For some of you, it creates safety. For some of you, it creates entertainment. For some of you, it creates a buddy. For a lot of you, it numbs you out from your own self-loathing. It lets you check out because you worry all the time. It’s the only way you take a break.

There are a million reasons why we’re eating like this. My promise to every No BS woman is I will never, ever let you lose weight at the sacrifice, like the diet altar sacrifice, where we go and we lay all of our pounds on there, but we also lay our self-worth and soul on there too. Where we don’t fix what’s really going on. Where we just get thin and still can’t look at ourselves in the mirror, still don’t feel like we can trust ourselves, still talk to ourselves the same way. We’re just talking like an asshole to a thinner version of us, still worrying our ass off for no reason, still people-pleasing, still giving ourselves no breaks, no rest, feeling guilty if we take any time for ourselves.

I’ll never let you lose weight that way. It’s harmful. The diet industry, I swear to God, is doing harm to women every day. I will not be a part of that.

That’s why I’m glad y’all are here. It shouldn’t be this way, and I don’t want that for any of you.

So I promise you, you don’t need to believe. You don’t need to trust yourself. But you do need to be really focused on how am I talking to myself? I am going to figure this out. I’d like to figure this out. I’m going to lose this weight the way I want to live the rest of my life, which includes treating myself well, which includes working on how I talk to myself, breaking the internal habits that I have. It’s not just my external habits. It’s also my internal habits.

The reason why I lost my weight was because I actually did that. I thank God every day that I figured that piece out. I don’t even know how I did it. Like I said, I never even read a self-help book. I didn’t even watch Oprah back in the day. I didn’t do anything.

But please don’t roll the dice, y’all. Don’t leave it up to chance. I just happened to be, I think, literally born to do this. I know that sounds crazy, but with all that I went through in my life, with all the depression and everything, there’s a reason why I’m here, and I really think this is it. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to figure this out so I could teach lots of people.