All right. Welcome back, everybody. So let's talk about February. Because if you've

ever had a January where you were like, okay, this is it, girl, we're finally going

to do it. And then you hit January and you're like, why is it so fucking hard? I

don't understand. I was so motivated the first couple of weeks of January. And now

I feel like ass. I feel like I'm just making myself try to lose the weight. I

just feel like I'm making myself do this. Have good news for you. There is a

reason. And it has nothing to do with motivation just magically disappearing.

I always say motivation is not like lucky charm. It's not just like magically

disappearing. So let's talk about what usually happens. So you don't feel like an

asshole just because you feel different in February than you did in January. When

January rolls around, you feel something. And I don't even know if I would call it

motivation all the time. Sometimes what I think it's more like is, I'm so fucking

uncomfortable in this body. I've hit my rock bottom. I'm now so miserable here.

I'm willing to do the diet. I'm willing to overcome the fear, overcome the past

failures, all the things, because this is so miserable. Now I'm going to use

courage. My misery now outweighs my doubts and fears. Sometimes people say I'm just

sick and tired thing about food all the time. I want to start. Some people say,

I'm tired of starting over. I'm ready to do this. Some people are just like at

that phase in life where it's just like, I'm so miserable. I can't keep doing this.

So now I'm going to get started. So you decide in January. Hell yeah,

I'm going to make some changes. Sometimes we're excited. Sometimes we're not. We're

just like pissed and we start. And then when you picture how you're going to lose

weight, I bet you anything that you're picturing a very specific version of you.

You picture the version of you who wakes up and thinks, okay, today's the day.

You're picturing the version of you who's not hitting snooze six times. She's

bouncing out of bed. She's strapping on the tennies. She's going to get that walk

in first thing in the morning, even though she ain't walked a damn step the last

six months. You picture the version of you who has the energy to plan food, sitting

down, she went to the tarje, bought her favorite new food planner, she's going to

hang it on the fridge, we're going to be organized, I'm going to be making all

kinds of decisions, I'm going to be following through. Like, basically, I woke up in

January, I'm going to be a brand new human. Whoever December 31st was, she's a

loser. Today, new me. And you tell yourself things like,

I'm going to come more in 2026. I'm going to eat lighter. You know what? I'm not

going to snack so much. This is the time I get my shit together. And I promise

you, for a little while, it does work. Because January is kind of weird. It's the

month where there's a lot of fresh start energy around you. You're seeing it on

television. You probably got friends who are starting their January diet. In January,

it tends to be like this collective reset everybody takes. So we get this

environmental effect. And if you think about it, it's a habit. If every January,

you swear to God, you're going to like reinvent yourself, you are now in the habit

of saying you're going to do it every January. So you probably feel hopeful or you

feel very serious or you feel like this time you really mean it. But here's what

nobody plans for when we're doing all this grandiose planning for how we are going

to make 2026 the year we get her shit together.

February is when the version of you who actually lives your damn wife, she comes

busting in the room like the Kool -Aid man, hey, hey, hey, piling through the wall.

Her ass is tired. She got a lot of work stress. In fact, she took off so much

time during the holidays. She just now coming up to breathe in February, and she's

looking around realizing how damn tired she is. February, you, oh,

I got kids. I forgot about them. Oh, I got parents and responsibilities pulling at

me. In January, I kind of wasn't letting it bother me. But February is like, well,

I mean, life was life, girl. And then February is the one who wakes up and once

it hits snooze is suddenly back. The one who feels behind all the time and that

really bothers her, she's back. She's like, I really, I know you said you were

going to go to the gym, but I'm just going to tell you right now. We need to do

these things. Now we can't be like just.

a few weeks ago, what is wrong with me? I'm going to tell you right now, I ain't

a damn thing wrong with you. You just built a plan to lose weight for a version

of you that doesn't show up like this every day. Most women,

they pick weight loss plans and diets, and they expect that they're going to have

their best day every day. My son, when he was little, he used to watch JJ the jet

plane, and they used to always be like, you know, this is the best day ever.

decent mood, nothing unexpected ever happens, you have time and brain space to think

all you want. Guess what? That is not life for hardly no damn body.

Weight loss never happens on those days. You know which days weight loss happens on?

Tired days. Days where the dog threw up. Days where your calling,

bitching and moaning, that her boyfriend at the memory care facility isn't looking at

or no more. You're going to need a plan for those days because weight loss happens

on the days where you're exhausted before noon. You get a stressful email and

immediately want to go stuff you face. You realize at 6 o 'clock at night that you

haven't thought about food once and now suddenly you want to eat the entire house.

It happens on the days you're annoyed, annoyed, overwhelmed, just done. And if your

plan to lose weight doesn't work on those days,

or at least doesn't tell you what to do on those days, February is where all

things go to hell in a hand cart. And this is what drives me the most crazy.

Women will blame themselves when this happens. We'll be like, see, I guess I'm just

not consistent. See, I don't want this bad enough. See,

I don't have enough discipline. But let me tell you what I see. We talked about

this in the last episode. You're already disciplined. You're disciplined all fucking

day. You get up when you don't want to. You go to work when you're tired. You

take care of everybody around you. You do things that feel hard, boring or unfair.

You push through hunger because you're busy. You push through feelings and emotions

because there's no time for you to feel this way. That's discipline.

It's a lot of discipline. So when you design a weight loss plan that requires a

shit ton more discipline on top of that, you are borrowing money from an account

that's bone looking dry, empty. You about to bounce checks all over town.

And when that account runs out of money, you don't fail in some epic dramatic way.

You know what we do?

We quit quietly. We just kind of stop planning. We stop paying,

like if you do what I teach you, you stop paying attention to hunger, like, oh, a

little bit won't hurt. I mean, I did lose some weight in January. We stopped

believing that, I don't know. I'm just going to take the weekend off. I don't think

it's worth all this work. And guess what?

And then you're sitting there acting like you somehow just lost your motivation.

Somehow you just fell off the plan. We didn't fall off at all. You know what we

did? We picked another fucking stupid diet that only works when we feel good. That's

called a design flaw. That is not a you flaw. This is what I mean when I say

most women are planning for the wrong damn version of themselves. You're planning for

the version of you who has tons of energy, all the patients in the world, enough

emotional bandwidth to just be flexible with whatever anybody has to say to you does

and doesn't do to you. But you're living life as the version of you who gets

tired, who's stretched thin, and is caring a lot very often. And those two versions,

they need very different plans. This is why February is really important because

February cannot be the month that you fail again. It's got to be the month that

shows you the truth. February needs to be the month that shows you what in your

life is taking too much energy from you, and what can you do about it? What in

your diet only works if you're highly motivated? If it only works when you're highly

motivated and have all the energy in the world, you either need to get rid of it

or you're going to have to have flexible rules. You're going to have to have what

I call, Like, my best day plan, if you're having a great day,

this is how I do it. Ideal day. And then you've got to have minimum baselines.

You got to know what you're going to do in these moments other than quit and give

up. You also need to know and use February to show you what goes to hell the

second my life shows up.

And instead of using that information, you know what most women do? They just get a

stricter diet or they try to start over or they just give up completely. None of

that's fixing your problem. The real problem is that nobody has taught you, how do

you plan for your capacity? Nobody taught you to ask, what does this look like on

a tired Tuesday? What is your minimum baseline going to be when you don't feel like

thinking? What's going to be your bare minimum that you can do on days where you

ain't got two fucks to get? Instead, diets have only taught us to push harder,

to push through. You can do hard things. I don't think we, like, I'm like,

I already do a ton of hard things. I don't need one more hard thing to do. We

need the, how do I make things easier on myself? Because if somebody's telling you

that you need to just do things the hard way, run far away.

They don't know what they're fucking talking about at all. They do not understand

women and their lives. They understand old school mentality,

which means you should suffer to lose your weight. You should just put up with shit

to lose your weight. You should take away every coping skill and just do hard

things for the glory of losing your weight. Ain't no woman on the face of this

earth deserves this. You do not deserve to lose all your weight.

Get to the pants size and the look you want. Get to the scale number you won't.

And yet you're still hard on yourself. You're still not setting boundaries. You're

still doing everything for everybody. You still let people run all over you. You

still push through your days without giving yourself any breaks. Nobody deserves that.

And if you hear people who want to help you lose weight pushing that narrative,

you need to just start saying no. Because I'm telling you, Pushing harder only works

for so long, and then it breaks. This is why so many women feel like they can

lose weight for a few weeks, but can't keep it up. And it has nothing to do with

you being capable. You are not incapable. It's because you keep building diets and

plans that ask more from you, then you can give them consistently. And if you don't

have flexible plans and you don't know how to work through this shit, you are

always going to be stuck on the hamster will of just trying harder.

I want you to be sitting around thinking about how do I do this in a way that's

going to work with my real life. Because when you do that, it changes everything.

it's what I did and it's what I've taught thousands of women to do because weight

loss that last it doesn't come from being perfect it comes from knowing how to keep

going when life's not perfect when you are stressed when you are tired and when you

don't feel like it none of that's a motivation problem that is a planning skill

we've got to develop and skills can be learned which means this isn't the same old

way that we're always going to do it