You don’t want to blow it at your holiday meals.
But your family… whew.

They push food.
They make diet comments.
They judge what you are or aren’t eating.
And let’s not even start on the body comments.

You’re scared you’re going to blow it.
A day that should be fun feels like dread and anxiety building in your chest.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Today’s podcast is going to help you so much.===================

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Hello, everyone.

So today, I got a very special podcast for you. There is something called Corinne three sixty five that is inside the NoBS weight loss membership. So if you love my podcast, Corinth three sixty five is very similar except it is ten minutes or less every single day, a straight dope kick you in the ass, or I tell you something you can do that day to lose weight. My members love it. So I'm gonna give you a sneak peek, and the one that you're getting today is all about how you don't wanna blow it at your holiday meals, but guess what?

Your family, they're making it hard on you. They're pushing the food. They may be making the diet comments. They're judging what you are or you are not eating.

And let's not even start when it comes to the body comments. As you know, I'm always talking about old uncle Bose Cephas who just can't help but say some shitty, shady junk about your body. So if you are scared that you're gonna blow it again because you're dreading all this shit, anxiety is building in your chest, you're gonna wanna listen today because it doesn't have to be that way. Today's podcast is gonna help you a lot just like Corinne three sixty five is helping so many of the No BS weight loss members.

Enjoy.

Alright. Let's talk about the moment when somebody gives you the look.

And you know what I'm talking about?

It's the look that says, that's all you're eating? They may not say something, but you can definitely see a side eye. Mama's expression is always the same.

Or they'll look at you, and they actually might say, See, we're skipping dessert. Must be on another diet.

So sometimes people say things, and sometimes they don't, but we can feel it.

We can feel the little judgment energy that's coming from the people we know most. Now I want to tell all of you, you need to get really good at understanding if it's actually them judging you on the inside. Like, think about the people you love most.

Do they have they ever given you evidence that the things you think they're thinking, they actually are?

A lot of times, what we think others are thinking is what we secretly think to ourselves. These are our judgments. And rather than admitting, I think this about me, it is a lot easier to say, they're thinking this about me.

When we think others are judging us, sometimes we get to feel indignant. Sometimes we get to feel rebellious. Sometimes we get to feel righteous and stuff. And sometimes we feel hurt. And sometimes we feel all kinds of stuff. But when we have to reflect on like, actually, I don't think they're judging me like that, that's the shit I think about me. Very often, we will feel broken.

We will feel helpless.

We'll feel really bad about ourselves. So it is no wonder we don't want to admit it.

We will put it on others. So my advice to you is before you listen to the rest of this lesson is to make a dis like, really make a conscious decision.

The things I think my mother, my partner, my kids, my friends, my boss think of me, do I really, really deep down think they think that, or could I be wrong about it? Because if you're wrong about it, then in the moment when it happens, you just need to remind yourself, I've already thought about this.

I know these people aren't thinking that.

I just feel judged.

I think it's me judging me.

And you can tell yourself, I'm working on that.

That'll give you some compassion.

That'll take the temperature down.

Now a lot of us actually have people in our life who have said the words before. We know what they're thinking because of their past actions, past things that they've said.

So if that is the case, then when you see their faces, their smirks, their side eyes, their sighs and stuff, your brain probably does light up with, they're judging me.

I don't want to make things weird. Maybe I should just eat like everybody else. Oh my god. I'm upsetting them. They're thinking I'm too fat, whatever it is.

Here's the truth.

Those people, they are allowed to have those thoughts.

You do not need to fix those people. You do not need to change those people. You do not need to change your behavior because of what they're thinking.

And you sure as hell do not need to cater to everything that they're thinking just in case they're judging you. Just to make them get like, go back to seeing you eat or not eat the way you they think you should.

I want you to listen to this.

Use this time of year where you know people might be having judgments to do what I call build your self worth and self esteem.

Let it trigger you feeling upset. Let it trigger you feeling those things. And in that moment, you wanna remind yourself, I'm learning how to love me enough to not let what I think others are thinking bother me.

I'm learning how to remind myself, I care more about my opinion than other people's opinions. I'm not used to putting my opinion about what I should do and what I shouldn't do ahead of what other people's opinions are. It's in that moment when you start having those conversations, y'all, that you really do start changing the relationship you have with yourself.

If you planned to eat something you love and you know you have a mom or a dad or a husband or a wife, a brother, a sister, or a kid who's gonna look at you weird because they think you shouldn't be eating it, this is the opportunity to take a deep breath and to remind yourself, I'm learning to live by my opinion of me, not by others' opinions.

Calm yourself down. It doesn't mean you'll be happy. It doesn't mean you won't feel awkward because you're learning. You're getting used to letting go of those things. That's gonna take time.

You can let them have their side eye. You can let them have their sigh. You can let them have their opinions.

That's their brain's problem.

If they're judging you, let them feel the effect of what it feels like to judge people.

Let them feel that.

You don't have to.

You don't owe anyone a performance at the dinner table. You know the only person you gotta explain yourself to?

That's you.

You don't need to explain what you're eating, your portions, or your plan to any damn body unless you want to.

You don't have to defend yourself, but if you want to explain, do it and do it proudly.

And do it from a place of I am learning to be me, the real me that I want to be.

I want to sit here, and I want to own my decisions.

And I want to get used to letting people feel how they feel without me worrying and overreacting, accommodating, people pleasing.

I wanna sit here and do my thing because I am learning how to be there for myself. I am learning how to calm myself down. I am learning how to soothe myself. I am learning how to comfort myself. I am learning how to talk to myself. That's what I most want for you.

So if this is hard, you can try saying something to yourself like this.

I don't need them to get what I'm doing.

What I do need to do is be there for myself in this moment when I'm worried, when I'm anxious, when I'm wanting to just not rock the boat.

You've probably spent a lot of your years during the holidays eating to keep the peace, to not rock that boat, to just blend in, to just so nobody would notice or say anything.

But every time you do that, you teach yourself that how you feel doesn't matter.

What they feel matters more than you.

And I'm gonna tell you right now, your feelings matter. It's not that their feelings don't matter.

We can have understanding for the way they feel, but your feelings have to get back on the list too.

You are not the person anymore who sets aside her feelings for everybody else. You are the kind of person who makes sure that her feelings also get attended to, and I think that's key for all of you. This is not an either or. Either they're happy or I am.

You'll it'll never work if you do it that way. This is a they can be happy or sad.

Also, I can work on me.

While they're upset, I also can respect it, understand it, and I also can be there for myself.

This is not either or. This is I'm going to figure out a way to teach the people around me the new me, the one who isn't bending over backward, just eating things because I don't want to rock the boat. I'm going to teach everybody. I eat a new way, and I'm really happy about it.

And this actually does bring me joy, and that I'm not mad at you because I'm changing the rules of how I eat.

I'm not going to just eat the way you want me to because I because you're uncomfortable. I'm gonna give you time to get used to the new me.

Let's talk about why doable hunger can start to feel really hard the second you're around your family and your friends. When you're on your own, a lot of times, it's easy. It feels fine. You are waiting for hunger.

You are stopping at enough. You've even been feeling really proud of yourself, and you're finally not eating just because food's there or just because you have an urge. Then when you're around everybody, someone suddenly says, hey. Wait a minute.

Are you not gonna have any?

Oh, wait a minute. You always love these. Come on. Enjoy yourself a little bit. Come on.

One bite won't hurt. And it's just like that in that moment that your brain starts freaking out. It kinda goes into, a panic mode. And it's not because you're actually hungry, and it's not because you actually want the food, but someone has noticed that you are eating differently.

And it's in that moment that things start to feel really hard.

So most of your life, you might have been taught that you should fit in. You shouldn't be rocking the boat. You need to be easygoing. You need to be polite. You need to be agreeable. Be the good girl.

And here you are right now eating different than you used to.

And you're not trying to be difficult.

You're trying to take care of yourself, and it's reading in your mind as if you're being difficult. Your brain suddenly starts thinking things like, well, they're judging me. Well, they're uncomfortable.

Like, I don't wanna make people uncomfortable. If I say no, they're gonna think I'm being rude, and I don't wanna be rude. Now the good news for all of you is this, None of that is true.

Now our brain thinks it, but it's not actually true.

What is true is that right now, you are simply gonna make food choices based on your hunger and not on what other people are now wanting you to do or what now people are saying.

And through losing weight, one of the toughest things that we go through is learning how to be someone who checks in with their body, honors it, and doesn't just eat based upon other people's opinions or suggestions.

And the only reason why it's feeling so hard is because of all of those things you were taught about being good, being accommodating, not rocking the boat.

Just because you don't eat, it doesn't mean you're hurting feelings. It doesn't mean you're rocking the boat. It just means this is a great opportunity for you to retrain people and so that they can appreciate the new version of you who doesn't get upset that she's not eating things, who doesn't make it a big deal, who doesn't sit there and say, like, oh, I can't because I'm dieting. You're the person who just says no easily and tends to have a good time anyway.

Now this feels hard simply because it's new to you.

It feels hard because your brain is very conditioned to want to stay in the tribe, to be accepted, to not rock that boat.

But this is what I want you to hear. In these moments, when you are saying no, you're not in actual danger, your brain just perceives it to be dangerous. And it's your job to comfort yourself and to remind yourself, this is okay.

This is not near as big a deal as my brain makes it out to be.

So all you're really doing is just being different in a moment that you used to do it a different way.

For years and years and years, you ate when it was offered to you, and now you're not. And anytime we do something different, our brains always freak out first until we calm them down.

So that's what doable hunger is gonna do for you. Doable hunger is just gonna show you, hey. This is how I really wanna eat.

And it's also gonna illuminate all the ways you've ate in the past that weren't really the way you wanted to eat.

So when you stick to your to your own, like, wants, desires, and wishes.

You're not only honoring yourself, but you are helping other people see the new version of you that's still not rocking the boat.

This is just the new version of you who doesn't eat when food's offered. You're showing everybody the new version of you that can enjoy the party without eating.

Whereas in the past, you looked miserable when you were there and you weren't eating. We're just reteaching you and everyone else the new version of you that you will all come to love.

So the next time someone offers you something and your brain starts flipping out, I just want you to remind yourself, I am not doing anything wrong.

I don't need to eat just because they want me to.

It's okay if I'm uncomfortable.

It's even okay if they're a little uncomfortable because we are all getting used to the new me.

So it may be awkward for a little bit in the very beginning, but it'll be very doable. Your brain may freak out some, but it eventually will calm down. And then this will be the new you. Everybody will be used to it, and you will love it more than you will love people pleasing with food.

Take a deep breath with me and blow it out So you're getting ready to walk into a family gathering. Maybe it's a dinner, maybe it's a party, maybe it's a big breakfast.

You already know what's going to happen. There's going to be smells of delicious food, probably going to be noise that you're unaccustomed to, going to be people all around, and there's going to be a lot of talking and a lot of comments.

You probably know who's going to be there.

Might be that aunt of yours, the one who's been on Weight Watchers her whole life, and she's going to be talking about her points while she's eating dessert.

You got an uncle, the one who always has something stupid to say, is probably going to throw in a, So, you still on that diet? Just to get a rise out of you.

And someone's probably going to tell you, Hey, just have a little more. It's the holidays. We're all eating.

You probably know what's gonna happen at your family gatherings. So this time, we're gonna visualize you walking in ready, not walking in dreading.

So take another deep breath in and blow it out.

I want you to see yourself saying none of this is new and none of this is bad, and none of this is dangerous.

You notice you don't feel like you have to defend yourself like in years past.

You see yourself not explaining what you're eating and why, and you notice that you're not even trying to make people understand what you're doing.

For the first time you notice, I'm not seeking approval from anyone.

You're walking in with a little sense of pride of yourself because you've already been showing up.

You've already been doing things different this year.

You're a nobious woman walking in.

I want you to picture the nobious woman version of you.

Picture her walking in calm.

You say, hey to all the people.

You hug the people you want. You skip those you don't want to.

You're smelling the food.

You can feel the buzz and the energy of everyone in there that used to overwhelm you, but this time, you're coming prepared with ways to stay grounded unlike years before.

When old aunt Weight Watchers starts talking about how she's only eating half a roll, this year, you just nod and smile instead of thinking, I wish she wouldn't talk like that.

You don't need to jump in, prove that your plan's better, show her what an OBS woman does.

You just simply sit back and just know, good old aunt weight watcher, bless her heart, she's doing the best she can, and so am I.

I want you to picture your uncle who says, you stay on that diet? You're gonna eat that? I thought you were trying to lose weight.

And instead of rolling your eyes, getting defensive, or feeling ashamed, you see you show up differently. You see you taking a few deep breaths and thinking, yep.

Good old uncle Bocephus, same shit, different year, you just smile and you say something simple like, I know.

I'm gonna eat what I want.

I'm doing it different this year. Or you just see yourself removing yourself from the room and moving on.

No getting anxious.

No getting freaked out. No getting angry.

You see yourself protecting your energy, not relying on him to protect your energy by saying nothing.

So I want you to see you different.

Visualize yourself not needing to win any conversations.

I want you to see yourself winning by not giving your peace away.

I want you to see yourself sitting at the table.

Someone starts talking about carbs or how they shouldn't be eating dessert, and you don't take the bait this year.

You just think, bless their heart, I just don't do diet talk anymore. So you don't say anything.

You just focus on what matters, the people you love and how proud you're going to feel later because you didn't let people bother you this year.

You did your work.

You know that your sanity, your emotions, your comfort is for you to take care of and no one else this year, because that's where your power lies.

Now I want you to notice a conversation that gets a little tense.

You can feel the anxiety coming up in you.

Now I want you to see yourself taking a deep breath instead of eating.

I want you to see yourself thinking, I do not have to join in on this bullshit. I don't have to let anything bother me any more than I want to.

I want you to see yourself possibly stepping outside, going to another room, or taking a potty break where you can text a nobious friend.

You're not running away.

You're running towards your solutions.

Now I want you to see yourself heading home.

You notice you're calmer than you have been in years past.

You didn't let what other people said and did control you this year.

You controlled you.

You didn't eat to make yourself feel better.

You did other things to feel better this year.

Watch yourself walking out proud thinking, I didn't let people throw me off this year.

I stayed calm.

I stayed kind.

I stayed in control of me.

I did that. I showed up for myself.

And now I want you to picture yourself walking back into your house.

You're proud, you're grounded, but a little old thought comes back.

The thought that always happens every year, let's eat more.

And you notice, you say, I don't need to this year.

I know that that's what I've done in the past, and that's what I always think, but I don't need it this year.

Because this is what real change looks like.

This is what confidence feels like now.

And I want you to picture you going to bed full of pride, full of confidence that you're changing.