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This week’s episode is a little different—it’s the replay of my most recent live Q&A.

I kicked things off by tackling one of the biggest weightloss struggles I’m seeing women face right now. Then I opened it up to rapid fire Q&A. Woman after woman asked me the questions that were keeping them stuck—and I gave them the straight answers nobody else will.

I got honest. I got emotional. And yes, I went off about some of the diet lies we’ve all been fed for way too long.

If you’ve ever felt like you can’t lose weight, this replay might be the exact thing you need to hear today—the little nugget of wisdom that takes you from “I can’t lose weight” to “Maybe I can.”

Hello, everyone, y 'all come on in. So we are going to do a Q &A today.

So if you don't know who I am, I'm Corinne Crabtree. I am the host of the losing

100 pounds podcast with over 65 million downloads. So people all over the world

listen to it, which I love and adore. And if you're one of my podcast listeners,

just put into the chat that you're here. And as you listen to the podcast, I love

meeting new people. Also, we are going to start today off.

of me all day, every day. I've been in our groups today, just answering questions,

talking to people, telling them things. And so somebody actually wrote in and said,

hey, I have a topic for you. If you could help me solve it, I would really like

it. So I spent some time this morning coming up with a lot of good information on

motivation. So that's what we're going to talk about today is how do you get

motivated and why does it go away and all that jazz. So if you will just listen,

take notes, and if you have any questions, you can pop them into the Q &A. And

then when I'm done, I will get through as many questions as I can. So let's talk

about why sometimes we can't get motivated and how do we stay motivated. So I think

the first thing that we have to talk about before we get into anything is so many

of you do not understand what motivation really is. We get it really confused with

happiness. We get it confused with excitement. That is not motivation.

The only thing motivation is it's your brain's energy in the moment to take an

action. So if something happens, motivation means I do it if I have it.

So, for example, a lot of times we don't realize that we are doing things for

motivation all day long, and it fucking sucks. So let's pretend that you have a

dog. You get up in the morning and you're rushing to work and your dog takes a

big diarrhea dump right in the middle of the living room. Are you excited? Are you

like, hot damn, I was really looking forward to a big pile of shit to clean up

right before I go to work so I can be late. No. A lot of you act like to lose

weight, you need a hot damn moment that you're supposed to just feel amazing. No,

you know, in that moment, You go clean it up because you're motivated. You are

motivated to not leave shit in the floor for your dog to track all over the house.

So it's just really important for you to realize that before we can solve

motivation, the problem, motivation is just a small, like think of it as a spark.

And I don't want you to think sparkling like a firecracker or something like that.

It is like the tiniest little like that. It's like a vh. That's about it.

Like if you would like to tap a light bulb and it kind of goes like that, that's

all it is. And it's that little spark that gets you to do something. But you know

what? Motivation definitely isn't. It is not the thing that's going to keep you

going when you are trying to lose weight, when you are doing anything. We cannot

rely on motivation because motivation is supposed to be like a roller coaster.

Sometimes we got it. Sometimes we don't. Sometimes it feels really good. Sometimes

it's negative motivation. So remember, motivation's not magic. It is not happiness.

It is not fucking excitement. All motivation is an inner drive that gets you to do

something. And that inner drive is based on how you talk to yourself.

So let's go back to Rover's big steamy pile in the floor. You know what you're

saying to yourself in that moment? Oh my God, I better clean this up now. Or when

I come home tonight, it will be like tracked all over the house. Not exciting,

not happy, not anything, but that inner conversation gets you to take an action.

So if you are sitting around right now trying to decide if you're going to lose

weight, if you're waiting for motivation to strike before you try,

that is problem number one. Because motivation never shows up out of anywhere.

It's like it doesn't just like fall out of the sky. Sometimes it feels like it

does. You might get presented with my podcast and some of you end up joining.

But a lot of times, like I would say the vast majority of people that end up

working with me, they never come to be going like, I'm so excited. They immediately

say, I'm nervous as fuck. I don't know if this is going to work, but I can't keep

going like I'm going. Now they have motivation.

It's negative motivation. They've gotten an ass full. They've hit their rock bottom.

And that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. I just want you to realize that

motivation is coming from your inner talk. It is not coming from the right program.

It is not coming from something Corinne says. It's not coming from those things.

and wait until we have to suffer so much and then we take action.

That was my problem for all the years that I battled my weight. If you don't know,

I was very obese from the time I was nine years old. When I was in the 12th

grade, I weighed 210 and I was about 4 .9.

And that is not easy at the age of 12 at all. It's not easy for anyone,

but can you imagine in the 80s being 12 years old before body positivity movements,

where we've got, you know, inclusive sizing and stuff, was none of that going on

when Corinne was 12, nothing. And so I struggled for years.

And when I finally decided to lose my weight, when I was like, I'm going to figure

this out, I had been kicking it down the road, waiting to be motivated, waiting to

be motivated, waiting to be motivated. I kept making the mistake of waiting to feel

good to get started.

And then one day, my son, who's one year's old, and I'm like,

well over 250 at this point, I was not one of those people that had a baby and

lost their weight. I had a baby and gained weight while I was pregnant.

I gained weight while I was nursing. Everybody just kept saying, if you just nurse

that baby, that weight's going to fall off. I was nursing like a fucking Jersey cow

until my right boob was best friends with my right knee. And that weight just was

coming on. And one day, he walks over to me. And he wants to play.

It's like 10 fucking o 'clock in the morning. And I always remember this moment.

And I said, Mommy's too tired to play at 10 a .m.

And it broke my ass in that moment. I mean, I immediately started crying because

when I grew up, my mother was a single mother. She had two kids working.

A minimum wage job, and most of the time, two to three. We didn't have a pot to

piss in, and we rarely had enough money to eat. And my dad wasn't helping.

Nobody was coming to save Manny.

And I always wanted her to play with us, just like any kid. I wanted help with my

homework. I I wanted to pay attention to things that were important to me. And my

mom didn't have the energy or the time. I remember her always saying, I'm too

tired. I'm too tired. And she was.

And so when I said those words, I hit my rock bottom.

I had been waiting for motivation. And then motivation had to come in and be

depression, my worst moment, complete embarrassment, fear that I was fucking my child

up, and recreating my own childhood.

So my best advice to all of you who have the idea that you want to wait for

motivation, stop. You don't need motivation to start losing weight.

You need to get off your ass. You need to be courageous. You need to be willing

when you don't want to. You need to be scared to death, but try anyway. There's a

thousand things you need to be other than fucking motivated. Because I watch too

many of you waste your life waiting to feel good about it, to feel certain about

it, to think, well, I won't fail anymore. None of it's coming, ladies. I promise

you, I have coached thousands and thousands of women to lose weight. I have helped

over 400 women to this date.

No one who loses their weight ever for the last time was successful before.

Think about this, how dumb it is for us to think. Like, when you use the excuse

the reason why I'm not going to try to lose weight is because I've failed so many

times because I've never done it before. It's like, what else did you think was

supposed to happen that you lost weight so successfully that you enjoyed it and

decided decided to regain 100 pounds, you could just lose it over and over and over

again because you like buying diets so bad? That ain't how it works, honey, at all.

So get it out of your head.

Stop saying that shit to yourself. Every time your brain says, I failed so many

times, say like, yeah, that is what happens until you figure it out for the last

time. It's common sense. And in the moment, I know it feels scary.

I felt the same shit. I spent 30 plus years living that nightmare.

You not starting, though, doesn't make it feel better. You just keep getting right

up to the moment where you're scared to death and you back off and don't do

anything and you just sit in a holding pattern of a little bit of fear, apathy,

self -pity that you can't lose weight. That ain't a good life. And you're doing that

to save yourself from being afraid you might fail again?

You'll never lose weight until you try again. That's just the damn truth.

So stop waiting for motivation because you might end up waiting your entire life and

then one day looking back and thinking, I wish I wouldn't have waited.

I wish I hadn't have waited so long. I wish I would have just done those things

that I always wanted to do, but I just let fear stand in my way.

So let's say that your thought is, I can't do this, or I always screw up. We call

those motivation killer thoughts. Those thoughts are what will shut down motivation in

a heartbeat. And I'm talking about the good kind of motivation. And every now and

then that son of a bitch comes in the door and he feels really good. But if you

want motivation, like if you're sitting there saying like, Cren, I really do. No,

you don't understand. I can't do unless I get motivated.

Then I'm going to help you today because if you really want motivation, guess what

you got to do? You got to learn how to generate it for yourself because that is

the key to losing weight. You cannot wait for motivation to hit you because

motivation doesn't come when you need it. Motivation only comes when you decide to

motivate yourself. You have to be a motivation generator. Now,

this doesn't come naturally to anyone. Nobody taught any of us how to do this

growing up. So don't sit there and whine to me about like, I'm not naturally

motivated. I don't know how to do it. Who gives a fuck?

Nobody knows how to do it. Some people learn it, though. And when they learn how

to be someone who can generate the ability to take action in the face of not

wanting to, to be able to do it even though they're not feeling like it. You have

to learn how to generate it for yourself. Because the thoughts of I can't are going

to show up. It is natural to think you can't do it. Your brain is wired to think

you can't do something you've never done before, not because you can't do it in the

future, but because it's like, well, if you haven't done it before, why would we

bother with effort? Why don't we just keep eating Oreos? I mean, they're a damn

good time. You're about to, like, start, I don't know, eating healthy,

I don't get near as much thrill and blow up my skirt when you're doing that shit.

Your brain's job is literally to tell you you can't do it because it's a lazy

fucker, Not because you

key to weight loss. It's no wonder those diets didn't work for me. I will say it

again for the lady in the back who got her pen out too late. I haven't lost

weight in the past because I didn't know there was so much mindset work.

That's the absolute key to weight loss. It's no wonder those diets didn't work for

me.

And if you sit around and you think I always fail, I always screw up,

keep writing, because I'm going to give you something you need to be telling

yourself if you want to be a motivation generator. When those thoughts come into the

room, we tell ourselves, it's true. I do screw up.

But I didn't realize that All of those times I blew it,

messed up, whatever you call it, your flavor of mistake. That's just highlighting the

parts of losing weight that I'm going to need to work on instead of quit over.

Because that's the truth. That is what you do to build motivation.

Notice how Neither of them sounds like, you can do it. Oh,

my God. Shake it off. Water off a duck's back. No, none of that horseshit.

We ain't going to sit here and have some fake -ass mantras and we're going to tell

ourselves bullshit we can't believe. But I'm going to tell all of you it is the

truth. In the past, I guarantee you. You worked really hard on weighing,

measuring food, meal prepping, cutting shit out, banning foods,

restricting yourself. You probably worked really hard on starving, probably worked

really hard in the gym. But you didn't do the mindset piece.

The part where we have to self -motivate, the part where we have to figure out the

bullshit we think and change it. You didn't work on emotional eating. You didn't

work on resilience to be like, when I make a mistake, I feel like complete ass and

I know I want to quit, but I've got to learn how to talk differently to myself.

If I want to lose this weight,

inner talk is going to have to change because that's how I lost weight. Y 'all

think it's like them four shiny basics, them four damn basics I teach y 'all does

not work if you are not doing all of the inner self rewiring if you hanging out

on my podcast trying to make these basics work and you're going somehow bypass doing

the thought work doing the mental stuff doing the emotional stuff good fucking look

that's what i got for you

because you're going to have to do that stuff. Otherwise, they're four basics.

They're going to run out of steam.

You're going to end up emotionally eating. And you ain't learning how to talk to

yourself. You ain't learning how to learn from it. You ain't learning how to be

there for yourself. And four basics are going to falter if you're not doing all of

it. That's why so many of y 'all hang out in the podcast forever, consuming shit

for free all the damn time and wonder why you ain't losing weight. Because I can't

give you all of the stuff for your brain and this podcast. You got to be able to

ask questions. You got to be able to tell your exact story to me so I can help

you. That has to happen. So no more half -assin. All right.

So now let's talk about what motivation feels like. It does not feel good. It does

not feel like excitement and it does not feel like happiness. Excitment is

excitement. Happiness is happiness. Motivation usually feels like it's quiet.

Sometimes it can feel a little like curiosity like, who, I just wonder if I can do

this. Sometimes it feels like freaking irritation, just like the day that I was just

like, I am so tired of living this way and I can't do it anymore.

And so I'm motivated to start. And sometimes it's just frustration. It feels a lot

like that. It's like sitting there going, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I

now feel so bad that I'm willing to do something even though I'm so afraid,

but I feel so bad now that I'm going to have, but my fear is now outweighed.

Again, I don't want y 'all waiting on those moments. That's just a hard way to

live. So just think about motivation. It most of the time doesn't feel good.

It's really quiet. It's an impulse. Just like if someone pulled a knife on you,

you'd be highly motivated to run. But you wouldn't be running with your hands up in

the air like a toddler because you're excited. You'll be high -tailing it out of

there because you're scared to death. That's motivation.

So motivation doesn't always mean this feels good. It means I am willing to do this

thing. That is it.

That is it.

So motivation also, one of the things you got to understand is it goes up and

down. When you start something new, you know what your brain does? It gives you a

dopamine hit. It's like, hello, new thing. All right. Dopamine is just the reward

chemical that makes you feel fired up. You usually don't feel fired up until you

actually overcome the fear. So like,

for instance, I was in our Facebook group this morning and someone said, does

anybody in here tend to buy lots and lots of weight loss programs?

I don't understand why I do that. I get like attracted to books and I get

attracted to programs and stuff. And I was like, I know why you do it.

Because every time you buy something, you get a dopamine hit. Every time you pick a

new diet, there's this little hit of dopamine as if you're doing something.

That's why we do it. That's why we get easily distracted. Because there is a little

bit of dopamine that comes along for the ride every time. And I was telling them,

I was like, we just need to recognize that. Because the best dopamine to get, the

feel -good chemical to get,

is the feel -good chemical that comes from completing something, finishing something,

doing one thing a day towards something. It's not as glorious of a hit is buying

shit, eating shit, quitting shit, hell, you get dopamine when you quit something.

Why do you think you quit diets all the time? For the relief?

Because if you are trying to lose weight and the entire time you're telling

yourself, I probably can't do this, I probably can't do this, you know, I hope I

lose wait next week. I just hope this continues. It's the entire time you're just

wearing yourself out because you're not learning how to talk to yourself. You end up

quitting to

get the dopamine and the relief of turning off those voices.

It's not because you actually can't do it. It's not because it's actually hard. It's

because you have so much hard talk going on in your head, that quitting, even when

you know it's going to cost you your dreams, in that one moment,

your brain is like, hallelujah, this feels really good. And that's why we do it.

That's why we get motivated to quit things. We get motivated to get out of our

misery. And the misery isn't usually the diet. The misery is how we talk to

ourselves the entire time we're trying to go through it. Now, I do think that

that's diet's false. I'm going to be real honest with you.

I am hard pressed to ever find a program that focuses on shit like this.

They will tell you calories. They will give you points. They will give you menus.

They will tell you workout plans. They will tell you to just do hard things. They

will tell you it's all about calories in, calories out. No one talks to us about

what goes on inside of us as women. No one helps us learn how to take care of

ourselves. So many of us, the reason why we can't stick to those damn diets,

It's because they don't care that we're adding one more thing to an overloaded

plate. They're giving us a second job for our full -time life.

They're not taking care of our mind. They're not taking care of our emotions.

They're not explaining simple concepts like motivation so that we don't sit the

entire time. Like how many of you give me a hard emoji? How many of you have done

a diet and it's been hard and you thought it was bad?

us. We are lacking something. And when you're not explained how like discipline and

willpower and motivation and commitment, when you don't get explained all this stuff,

what are you supposed to think?

Your brain's looking for a reason to explain why does this feel so hard. Why are

you not good at this yet?

And if you've got a low self -esteem, It will blame you every time if no one's

telling you what's really happening. And that's my job. So motivation is another one

of those things that nobody ever realizes. It's supposed to go up and down like a

fucking roller coaster. So when you do that new thing and you get that dopamine

hit, that is the reward chemical that gets you fired up. But our brain is literally

wired for taking us down to a normal level of feelings.

It doesn't want us excited all the time. That takes a lot of energy to be up, up,

up all the time. So its job is to like let the newness wear off,

to settle you down, to take the excitement away. It's called hedonic conditioning.

It is just a heuristic of the brain. It's a psychological phenomenon that every one

of us has. Here's how you know that you're a normal person. If you've ever bought

a car, a brand new one. And let's say the one before that, let's say we're all

going to go out and we're going to buy some kind of sexy,

female, midlife, bright cherry, red car sports car that was my grandmother always

said my grandmother drove a fucking cherry red sports car her entire life she did

not give up her sports cars until her knees could not get in and out of one and

then she got her a cherry red escort back in the day up until that point my

grandmother was a camaro woman

so we're all having our little midlife crisis and we're going to go get to sports

car. We've been driving a 15 -year -old minivan with 10 -year -old crushed goldfish in

the back. We are ready for newness. When we get that thing,

what are we? Excited. Thrill. Like,

drooling over it every time we get in the damn car. We swear we're not eating in

it. We swear we're going to wash it it every week. We have all the intentions.

We're highly motivated to take care of it. And for about two or three months, it's

a hot damn experience.

And then guess what?

It gets dirty one week and you're busy and you don't have time to go to the car

wash. So you skip it. That new car smell. You don't smell it anymore.

It's there, but you don't smell it. You ever gone on a vacation? Come back,

get in that new car and be like, wow, I didn't even realize it smelled like a new

car anymore. She's like when you have a new house, when you first paint. You don't

even realize it smells new anymore because it's hedonic conditioning. Your brain's job

is to normalize things.

And that's what happens with motivation. You don't lose motivation.

hands the baton off to determination and commitment, we think something's wrong.

We freak out. We blame the reason why we quit was because we lost our motivation.

No, you quit because when you got up on the hard part, you didn't ask for help.

When you got up on the hard part, you made it seem like it was something wrong

with you instead of like, oh, I need I need to figure out, why do I do a good

all day long, but lose it at nine. It's got to be a good reason. Too bad I don't

have a weight loss coach that could solve this for me for the lady in the back.

You could. So, determination and commitment, those are the things that are going to

keep us going when the dopamine of newness fades like it's supposed to,

when the motivation wears off like it's supposed to.

So when that newness wears off, your brain now officially stops rewarding you for

something. It's now just used to it. And if you expect to stay excited,

when the excitement fades, you're going to think you're broken. And now I want you

to tell yourself, oh, when the motivation fades, this is the normal part. This is

what's supposed to happen. I'm not supposed to rely on that. I don't need to beat

myself up for losing motivation. If I eat off plan and my brain is like, eh,

I never stick to anything. That's the kind of self -talk that's murdering your

motivation.

because in that moment, you're not looking for any progress at all. If you eat off

plan, you know what the progress can be? I fucking notice I'm eating off plan.

And today I'm not quitting over it. Today, if you're one of my members who still

listens to the podcast, because y 'all got plenty to listen to on the inside,

that's when you reach out to a coach. That's when you say, I've noticed the last

three days I've done really good during the day. At night, I'm having a hard time

stopping my eating. Once I get going, I feel like I can't stop.

We will ask you the questions and we will know what it is. And within a few

weeks, we will have it all figured out and you can move on to the next problem

that's coming up.

But you can't murder motivation by telling yourself that you don't stick to anything.

You lost your motivation. You need to tell yourself, this is the part of weight

loss I've quit on in the past. Thank God I listen to some cussing blonde chick on

a podcast. She tells me this is not the place to quit. She tells me this is where

I've got to figure out what's going on because I'll never lose weight until I

figure out this part because it's going to come along for the ride for the rest of

my life until it's figured out.

And then the other big thing that murders motivation is your brain wants some proof

that what you're doing is working. And the fatal flaw that people make when it

comes to losing weight, do you put all your eggs in the basket of what? The scale.

Women are not used to giving themselves credit for the things they do.

For fuck sure, they don't give them credit in weight loss. We put all of our hopes

and our dreams, our aspirations, our motivation, everything goes on the scale.

And if the scale, like, that's a hard weight because I tell people it only weigh

once a week. And so if you're spending six days a week, not acknowledging little

wins, you're miserable, you're pining, you're hoping, you're worrying, you're anguishing

all week until you get there. And what do most of us do when we're full of

anguish, anxiety? We eat.

And then if you're going to weigh every day, guess what? You're going to be highly

disappointed. And you're going to be on a roller coaster because the scale ain't

supposed to go down every damn day. It is supposed to be like a roller coaster.

Same thing with the weekly.

You ain't supposed to lose weight every week. I have helped people lose hundreds of

pounds. Even my clients that lose 10 pounds, that's all they got to lose.

It never goes straight down, not every week. And so if that is the only time you

give yourself any credit, any kudos, any kind of acknowledgement of progress,

you've killed your motivation.

Motivation, again, comes from our thoughts, and it will thrive and have at least a

chance to make its glorious appearance. If you are not stuck sitting there telling

yourself, that's not good enough, that don't count, hope that works. I don't know.

I don't want to get too excited. I don't

shit. So don't sit there and snow yourself that you ain't an emotional eater. Most

of you just don't even know what an emotional eater is. If you eat to be happy,

you're an emotional eater. If you think food just tastes good, you're emotional

eater.

Like, if food, like, everybody listen to this. I'm supposed to like the food I eat.

Period. In stop.

If you that food tastes and good is a problem, you ain't ever going to lose

weight. Otherwise, the only answer we've got for you is like, all right, all the

things you enjoy, we've got to take all of that away, and we need to just eat

food you hate. Let's just do that.

It don't work that way.

If you can't stop eating something because it tastes good, there's something

underneath that you fear is going to happen if you stop.

Food tasting good does not equal overeating. Otherwise, every human,

regardless of size,

would not overeat or they would overeat if something tasted good.

That's how we know it is emotional. There is a payoff to keep going. And unless

you're finding your payoffs,

you can't lose weight. You just won't. And you won't keep it off. Or if you do

lose weight, you will spend your eternity forcing yourself to be good, anxiety over

food, obsessing over, Are you overeating or not? Obsessing over the scale.

Obsessing over, you're going to gain your weight back. No one loses weight to be

obsessed. I've never helped someone lose weight where they said, you know what I

really want? Can you teach me how to lose weight in such a way that I am fucking

miserable? I'd like to be very worried that I'm going to gain my weight back. I

would love to be really hard on myself. And please, if you could give me an extra

helping of fear of food, that would be terrific. Said no one ever.

So your brain's got to have proof. And you've got to celebrate stuff that right now

that you probably think isn't good enough or doesn't deserve celebrating,

you've got to find the littlest ones because your brain needs dopamine. And your

brain, when it's not getting celebrated, when it's not seeing things, guess what it

does?

It will automatically assume something's not working. It will start having anxiety,

and then it will kill motivation, and it will tell you you might as well quit,

because it can't see why you would continue. If there's no good emotional payoff

coming, if there's no, like, you showing progress points to yourself that you don't

easily recognize, your brain thinks why bother? You have to give your brain a reason

to bother. So here's a couple of hacks to build some motivation. This is what I

teach my clients to do.

Write down one thing every single day that actually did go right.

Be on the hunt to find something that you did right today when it comes to your

weight loss.

And if your brain screams it's not good enough, it is.

Your brain's wrong. Your brain says it's not good enough only because it's very

afraid. You're not going to be able to do it. It is a baby of the belief system

that you can't. So you do not need to just listen to everything your brain says

and take it like it's the gospel. It's just not. Our brains are very wrong a lot

of times. Our brains say and do things that are just fucking crazy.

Just like I will go to the grocery store and if someone is moving too slow or

taking too much time.

guess I better push him down. I mean, my brain thought it. Y 'all,

we dismiss thousands of stupid -ass thoughts a day. Your brain treating progress like

it's not good enough is in what I would call the collection of stupid -ass thoughts

that your brain is probably going to think every single day.

So now we got to talk a little bit about determination and commitment because

remember I was telling y 'all when motivation fades that's like they're running a

race motivation is running the track and it's a relay and it's like all right I'm

at the end of my race determination here's the baton and determination is supposed

to now take off the problem with determination and commitment is that y 'all get it

wrong. Again, if you don't understand how these things work, guess what you do? You

quit all the time. Determination and commitment have nothing to do with being

perfect. Everybody thinks like determination must mean I'm perfect. Commitment must

mean I'm showing up perfectly. No.

We think if we don't screw, if we screw up, that we must not be committed, no.

Determination and commitment are simply this. It is the speed at which you get back

to business after a mistake.

Determination and commitment, you really only need them when you're fucking up.

If you're so good at it, you don't need determination and commitment. It's just

natural now, we want to get to the day where you don't have to have a ton of

determination and commitment or both feel really easy to you. But most people will

spend the majority of their life doing things and needing to be determined to

complete it when it doesn't go exactly the way they want. committed to doing it,

even though they feel like ass.

Now, there's easy ways to get around it. When you really do learn how to rewire

that self -talk, it's a lot easier to be determined. It is a lot easier to be

committed. Because most of the time, the only thing standing between motivation,

determination, and commitment is your doubts and fears, the way you currently view

things, the way you talk to yourself, and the knowledge you have about how all of

these things work. That's the only thing. So when we can fix some of the thinking,

when we can look at what is in the way, it's a lot easier to pull on those.

It doesn't feel really hard to be committed. But if you don't learn anything, I

want you to know that every mistake you make is a part of commitment. You only

need to be committed if you're making mistakes. And we're all going to make

mistakes.

I need you to be committed to getting back on track as fast as possible every

single time something goes wrong, but more importantly, I need you to be determined

to figure out what happened, why, and what can I do to fix it?

Because anything that's standing between you and losing weight right now, whether

you're eating you face off at night, eating you face off on the weekend, you have

a hard time saying no when somebody's pushing food on you, you can't stop when

something tastes really good, whatever it is.

You need determination to figure that shit out

because that won't stop until you address the root causes that are causing those

things. So when your motivation fades, That is going to be your cue to say,

I'm just going to do the next thing anyway. This is me practicing,

my determination. I'm determined to figure things out. I am committed to getting

right back on track and determined to figure out what's going on so I can fix

things. So the three things you need to do to create some motivation for yourself.

Number one is you've got to work on your belief. I don't need you to believe you

can lose weight, especially if right now, if you think you can't lose weight or

that you always screw up, we have to get very committed to stopping in that moment

and talking to ourselves in a new way. You got to let all that fear and all that

anxiety and all those worries come in, and they're going to drain your motivation,

any natural motivation you have. That's why you've got to be a motivation generator,

because you've got to refill the tank. Don't forget that motivation is not coming to

you. You have to create some new thinking to have in the face of all of the old

thinking that you are used to thinking because you can't lose your weight if you're

going to wait on your motivation to show up when you need it. You got to be able

to generate it. And it just takes practice. No one's teaching you this stuff.

Now,

the second thing is you got to know the psychology behind motivation, discipline,

commitment, willpower, and determination. Because that's why so many of you keep

quitting. You do not know how these things work, how they apply to weight loss.

You think you're just supposed to have them. We're not supposed to just have those

things. We have to learn them, practice them. We have to understand them.

We have to know how to generate them. That's the difference. That's why so many of

your diets failed. If your next diet that you try, let's say you're not going to

work with me, the next one you try doesn't have lessons or a person who's going to

break down the mechanics of all of those things, do not spend your money on it.

Just don't waste your money on it Because it will be a waste. You've got to mix

in some brain psychology into this, because all of those things are not personality

traits that you lack. We're just not born with those things. We build the skills

over the course of a lifetime. And if you haven't ever been taught how to build

it, there's never a point in your life where it's too late. I have got so many

women in my program who were 70 plus, tons of them,

losing all kinds of weight that they have battled their entire life. And they will

always tell you what I tell them. It does not matter when you start.

It matters that you start. It doesn't matter how long this has been going on.

What matters is how much longer are you going to leave it unchecked? Your brain,

it doesn't have thoughts that run deep. It doesn't have things that are just like,

oh, my God, this is my shit forever. Your brain has something called neuroplasticity.

And studies show that no matter how old you are, no matter how long you've been

thinking a certain way, your brain is designed to rewire any time you put forth the

effort. We're just not putting forth the effort. And the reason why you're not

putting forth the effort is I don't think anybody teaches you this is the key to

weight loss. This has to happen. This is the work I did when I was losing weight.

I was constantly on to myself, listening for how I was talking to myself.

So The last thing is you've got to take some action.

Action also can be a motivation creator, a generator. The motivation that you want,

the I Feel Excited kind, that kind of motivation almost always and exclusively comes

after you've completed something. So it happens right after you do something that

you're really scared of or that you're convinced it wouldn't work to begin with. But

then you try it.

And all of a sudden you realize, huh, that wasn't as bad as I thought. Boom. Then

you get a little rush of motivation. That is your brain's reward center going off

with some dopamine. But you got to give yourself a chance to feel it. I always

tell my clients. If you think something won't work, you think something's going to

be hard, like you're scared of whatever. I'm always saying, like, earn the right to

know if that's true. Most of you are operating, assuming that everything you think

is just true. And I'm like, no, that's not how we do it. We go out, we try the

things we're afraid of, and we earn the right to say, yes, that was actually too

hard. Yes, I did not like that. Oh, I found out that

Did you have a lot of loose skin after losing weight? Did you have surgery to

remove it? I did have a lot of loose skin after losing weight still do. So if you

look at my, I don't know if you can see this. Since y 'all are here, let me hold

up this arm because I can see it. If you look, look at my arms underneath here.

And there's, let me try this arm. Hang on, I've got to move this window around.

This one actually has more of the creep and the loose skin. So Yes, I did not

have any surgery on my arms. But when I, like this, they look good. But when I'm

like this, there's like certain angles I'll do, like, if you look at them as I

move them around, you can see all the looseness. Even when I do like, like when I

do pushups, you can see the loose skin hanging from the tops of my arms. It just

doesn't bother me. I'm not saying I love it. I'm not saying that I don't sometimes

wish it, like I wish it wasn't there and stuff, but here's what I'll tell you.

When I was 250 pounds, I couldn't find an angle I liked, ever.

Most of my life I hated,

just hated.

And I got loose skin all over me.

And it doesn't look good, but it looks good in clothes. I couldn't have that when

I was 250 pounds. Didn't matter how I dressed. I was not going to look the way I

wanted to. Now, I don't look the way I want to now, but I look a hell of a lot

closer. And I'm just like, I'd rather have this than to have that. So a lot of

you, I think you worry about the loose skin. How about you get some? How about you

get the life that loose skin allows you to have and then decide what you want to

do because i think a lot of you spend a lot of your time so afraid like oh my

god i'm going to think this when i have loose skin and i'm going to look like

this i'm going to look at this and it's like you don't like where you're at now

why don't you see what life is like down there because the way i have always

thought about it it's like

When it comes to like thinking about my body now, I actually have a lot of body

positive thoughts. I've given myself the gift of lifting weights. I've given myself

the gift of being like a, you know, like a six or an eight.

So very often I have proud moments. And I also have times when I'm just like

looking at this and looking at that And, you know, my legs look kind of rough.

I've had the surgery downtown.

I've got long scars that traips all the way down to my knees. My legs still don't

look good. They still look like melting candle wax, but not in my tights,

not in my jeans.

When I'm naked, it's a problem.

but it's only a problem for me and I can work on me.

Most of us are not going to walk around in life butt fucking naked.

eating. The interruption point is at the end. You stuff yourself.

You feel miserable.

You think you've screwed up. You think why bother that you can't do this.

I'm so careless with my good

not, this has nothing to do with being careless around good habits. This carry,

this has everything to do with, I am beating myself up when I eat in a way that

I don't think is right. And that is cascading into a fuck it eat.

And then when I fuck it eat, I'm really hard on myself. We don't fuck it eat

unless we're being hard on ourselves. Fuck it eating is always a result of saying

something like, why bother? You always screw up. You can't do this. You messed up.

You might as well. I'll do better tomorrow.

That's where you got to start. We have to start always at the end. That is the

first intervention point because it stops the cycle from being completed.

Your brain right now that any time you have a perceived mess up, which you're

calling carelessness with your good habits, that sounds really sweet and sounds really

innocent. It's just call a spade a spade. I think there's a way to eat.

And sometimes I don't eat that way for a reason. And when I break a rule that I

got going on inside me, now I feel like I did it wrong. insert my asshole voice,

the voice that says, why I bother start over, or the one that says, woo -loo, we'll

just eat all it up. We'll get it out of our system and we'll start tomorrow. And

starting tomorrow usually means deprivation, restriction, doing something,

asshole. And your brain knows. And when it knows that that's coming, it's going to

try to eat as much as it can and have as good a time as it can right now. It's

either it's doing one of two things or both.

Or she fixed to be a real asshole to us. She fixed to tell us all the reasons

why we're a fuck -up. So I've got to eat to not get that. And I'm going to have

a good time as much as I can. And then we can go to restriction.

And then I can feel bad. That's all that's happening. So listen to the three

golden. I think it's called the three golden moments. Last question. I'm having

trouble stopping it enough when the food tastes so good. How do I stop this?

Joanne, I just taught 59 minutes on this. It's nothing to do with it tasting good.

Not a lick.

Let me tell you all what it has to do with. When something tastes really good,

you're getting a rush of good.

And you're probably not getting a rush of good anywhere else.

If you start eating something, like there's a lot of reasons that will kick it off.

I always tell my clients, it's never because the food tastes good.

It's always because good food represents something to you. So let's say you over

diet all day long. You don't eat enough food all day. The second your body gets a

little bit of good taste in food, it's not going to want to stop because physically

you've primed it to have an overreaction. Physically, it thinks it's got to eat a

lot, and it's always going to eat the food that tastes good. It's not like it's

going to say, like, oh, my gosh, you didn't get enough food today. Well, eat a

little bit of what tastes good, and then please overindulge in broccoli because I'm

going to need a lot more food because your bitch -ass is going to starve me and

wear me out again tomorrow. No, it's going to want you to keep eating the food

that tastes good because it knows, like, if I get her to eat this, she'll eat

plenty. And we can offset all the future times that she's going to work through

lunch, Starb us. Eat very little because she fucked up yesterday. So that's one

thing. The other way that it happens, if you're not under eating all day,

is for a lot of women, the only time they get a lot of joy and pleasure out of

life is when they eat something that tastes good.

They don't talk to themselves very nicely. They don't take breaks. Like when you eat

good food, it might be the first time you sat down for the day. It might be the

only time that you're going to like, not worry, not to do to do lists.

A lot of times my women will eat something that tastes really good and have a hard

time stopping because in their brain, well, the second I quit eating,

I really should be doing these things. I've got to do these things. So we're

extending the good. We're not extending the food. We're extending those things.

This is why I wish y 'all would work with me and you would fucking quit hanging

out in the podcast because you can't get help like this. This is why I wish you

would work with me and to stop clicking on every influencer who's wearing a bikini

or showing their six -pack abs and their tanned -ass sculpted body on Facebook and

Instagram.

If they're not talking about this stuff, do not buy it anymore.

If you find someone like me talking about this stuff, I don't give a damn. I just

want people to lose weight.

You can go spend your money with any fucker in the world. But I do not want you

wasting any more money on diets that are just not helping you with what you need

help with.

Okay. With that, we are done. I will see y 'all next month. Come back. And this

will go into the podcast. So at any time, you can, like, we'll put it in the

podcast in a few weeks. You can always relisten to it. Y 'all have a good one.

Thank you for coming. Bye y 'all.