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If you’ve ever found yourself reaching for cookies and wondering, “Why the hell am I eating this when I’m not even hungry?” this episode is for you.

I’m breaking down the four simple steps I use (and teach my clients) so cookies don’t control you anymore. You’ll hear how one of my members realized her afternoon cookie habit wasn’t about the cookies at all—it was about the guilt she felt every day at 3pm.

This is the part diets never teach you: how to deal with the feelings behind the food. Once you know how to notice, name, and work through the real need, cookies lose their power.

Listen in and learn how to stop beating yourself up, stop white-knuckling your way through cravings, and finally enjoy food without feeling out of control.

Hello, everybody. Welcome back. So today, I have a very special podcast episode.

This was part of a Facebook live that I did recently.

So you are gonna get the exact version that I did. If you do not already belong to my email list, you can easily get signed up by going to no b s weight loss dot com. Take my free weight loss course, and then you will start getting notifications for when I do my Facebook lives. That gives you an opportunity to ask me questions. So in today's podcast, you're gonna hear me talk about three really shocking things that you're probably doing that sets you up to not be able to lose weight on the weekends.

So many women struggle with the weekends. We do good all week, and guess what happens? By Friday night, it's like some demon takes over, and this demon needs to be fed all the way through Sunday night. I'm gonna give you the three reasons today so that you can fix what's happening Monday through Friday so that Saturday and Sunday, you can keep losing weight. So I hope you enjoy. I hope you sign up for my free course, and then I want you to attend my future Facebook lives so you can get your questions answered personally by me. Enjoy today's podcast.

Let me tell you about why we blow it on the weekends.

There are three shocking reasons why women tend to blow it on the weekends.

And so I wanna go over them today because if you don't know these reasons, what ends up happening is that you beat yourself up for being a diet failure.

This is the number one like, this is your bonus. Okay?

The number one mistake that women make when it comes to losing weight is beating themselves up for anything that they do.

If you somehow do good all day and you blow it at night, you think you're a fuck up. You think you're lazy. You think you're broken. You think you lack willpower. You think you don't try hard enough.

That is not the case.

For every time you don't do something right when you're losing weight, as someone who has helped thousands of women lose weight, Just the other day, my my team told me, we have currently helped over three hun I think it was three hundred and forty two. I can't remember the exact number. Women lose just over a hundred pounds.

This is not to mention the people that I've helped lose two hundred pounds, the people I've helped lose the last ten, the people I have helped lose fifty pounds, just are hundred pound losers.

And what I know is that every one of us who's lost weight, including myself, we are going to make mistakes all along the way.

We are gonna have days where we don't follow the diet plan. We are gonna have days where we eat too much. We are gonna have bad days where we just make some crazy choices in the foods we're eating simply because we want to feel better.

And this is what you have to know.

If you wanna lose weight, then you cannot beat yourself up for those moments because they're coming, whether you want them to or not.

I'm not joking when I say I have helped thousands of women lose weight, and not a fucking single one of them said, I tell you what, I joined your program.

You know what happened? Never made a mistake. All this weight's gone because you told me how to eat. I did it perfectly, and I never looked back, said no woman ever.

So if we know mistakes are coming, guess what we have to do?

We have to be good at dealing with them, which means you cannot beat yourself up. No one loses weight because they're so good at giving themselves an ass whooping.

Most people tell me the reason why they won't start another diet, why they quit diets, and why they fuck it eat is because they're too good at beating themselves up. They're always beating themselves up. So if you wanna be someone who actually loses weight, the number one skill that has to happen, you have to understand, shit's gonna go wrong.

And how I react to that is gonna dictate whether or not I lose my weight or I don't lose my weight. That is plain and simple.

Every single overeat, every single day that you break a plan, every single one of those, there's always a reason.

Sometimes it is just a habit.

Sometimes we just don't give ourselves enough time to do the new things. Our brains are very much wired to do what we always do even if what we always do isn't even good for us. Otherwise, you know what would happen? No one would be on drugs.

No one would be drinking too much. No one would be smoking. No one would bite their fingernails. No one would do half the shit that they do.

So just knowing something's not good for you doesn't mean that the part of your mind that's always running fast and just doing things because it's what you always do, it it just misses things. So a lot of times, you're beating yourself up for being lazy and not disciplined and no willpower and all kinds of shit. You're doing all of that when it was just literally, oh, I just gotta give the habit more time to take effect.

I mean, that is such a shame. Just think about it. Ask yourself, how many times do I think I've probably ended up quitting a diet, not for any reason other than I'm just used to doing it one way, and I called myself such ugly names? I need to quit the diet so I could quit calling myself ugly names.

The other piece so we've got the habit piece is the emotional piece.

This is, like, seventy percent of it.

There's always good reasons why we overeat.

Sometimes, like, if you've had a really hard day, like, really hard, and you don't know how to comfort yourself, your anxiety and your worries run away with you. You don't have a way to calm yourself down. You don't have a way to settle your nerves, settle your worries, if you don't know how to do that, guess what?

Food does.

And if you don't learn how to do that piece, food will win. Not because you're lazy, not because you're broken, not because you're undisciplined, and not because you lack willpower, but because you've got an emergency going on in your life.

And food is just trying to keep you in a state where you can address whatever it was that's going on.

So, first, I just need everybody.

Before we talk about why we blow it on the weekends, there's one thing that has to happen.

You have to acknowledge that you're gonna have habits, and you're gonna have emotional eating, and it's gonna take time to unwind both of those.

And those are things that can happen if you're doing a program like mine and not some dip program where they're just telling you, like, try harder and here's your calorie range and, you know, you probably shouldn't eat bread either.

Get off that train.

Fasting trains, calorie counting trains, low carb, no bread, cut out some kind of food trains, detoxes, stop all the nonsense.

None of that shit works unless you know how to talk to yourself and you know how to identify your emotional needs.

So if you have been stuck on those diets and not been successful, do me one favor today.

Stop telling yourself it's your fault.

If some of the shit I tell you today wasn't included in all them bastard little programs you did, then at least stop blaming yourself. Start saying, I'm afraid I can't lose weight because I've done a lot of diets that didn't give me the complete puzzle.

I always use this example because I really do think that the piece where you learn how to handle mistakes, which is the foundation of learning how to talk to yourself, is so key. If I gave you right now a hundred piece puzzle, just one hundred pieces, I even give you the picture of what the puzzle should look like.

Hell, I'll even give you the border done for you. Just fill in the middle.

And I said, if you put this puzzle together, all your weight is gone, every ounce of it, and I'll give you a million dollars on top.

You'd be like, sign me up. I'm fixing to do this bitch right now.

Now if I withheld the centerpiece, burned it in the fireplace, you're never getting it.

You could try as hard as you want.

You could will power yourself to sit through that for weeks and weeks and weeks.

You could be disciplined. Turn off your TVs. You could do all kinds of shit.

But if you don't have the missing piece, you ain't getting your weight loss and you damn sure ain't getting a million dollars.

And that is what most diets are these days.

They don't give you the key piece, which is understanding at the root of why is it I know like, I bet you're like me. You've spent thousands of dollars on diets and thousands of hours trying to lose weight. And you've tried really hard.

It ain't a lack of trying hard.

But we've all been missing that piece.

So that's what I want you to commit to me today. If nothing else, if you don't learn anything else today, I want you to commit to that piece. Again, if you have questions, if you put them in the q and a, I actually can see the q and a. It is amazing. Hello, Jennifer.

And, let's see. She says she's lost, fifty on GLP one. She's kept it off for two years. Good for you.

A lot of my I've got, like, over a thousand of my members that are on GLP ones. I don't, like, do any kind of prescribing or anything, but I do not shame it either. I didn't lose weight on a GLP one. Most of my clients didn't.

Now some of them are losing weight, but they're also doing all of this stuff that I work on too because I want you happy and to lose weight. I do not want you to be what we're fixing to go over, live in this life, and thin because it sucks. So number one, there are three big ass reasons that are pretty shocking as to why women can do really good during the week and then somehow not be able to lose weight on the weekends.

Number one is called overdieting.

Overdieting is where you say you're doing good all week, and all you're really doing is asshole shit.

So here's what over dieting looks like.

You're missing meals.

So you get up on a Tuesday, you ain't got time for breakfast because everybody in your house, including the dog, needs something. And you just are trying to get everybody out on time before traffic gets built up. And so you grab a banana and a coffee, and you're just like, that's as good as we got today.

But you call it being good. Later on, you're like, I was really good this morning.

Even though you didn't eat enough, even though you're under fueled.

And then because it is a busy day, now you gotta run errands because one of these damn kids forgot something. And you gotta take your lunch now to go and get said thing. And you ain't got time to eat because you gotta be back at work because there's something going on at work that you gotta be back for. Guess what you do? Now I skip that meal.

And then by the time I roll up into the evening, I'm telling myself how good I was all day when the only thing I did was send my body into panic mode. It was not meant to eat a banana like, mainline some caffeine, barely get through the day, and then sit down and try to eat at night like a calm ass person.

That is overdieting.

Overdieting is where we're trying too fucking hard. We're trying to be too perfect, eat too clean, too healthy, too little food.

It's the exaggerated version of just plain ass simple, feeding ourselves in a decent way.

The other way we over diet is we stick and adhere to our workout plan no matter fucking what, no matter how tired we are, no matter how stressed we are. Even if our body is screaming for relief, we stick to it because we're afraid we'll gain weight if we don't.

That is also overdieting.

You are now not listening to your body. Just like the over dieter with the meals, they ignore their hunger. They're so busy. They just put it on the shelf. They call it being good. We also call overdieting being good when we're over exercising.

Now if you love exercise like I do, I exercise.

I lift real heavy weights.

I did a run walk this morning.

If you love it because it's your stress relief and stuff, by all means. But over dieting happens when we're doing it because we're so afraid if we don't, we'll gain weight, so we ignore one of the most important things that are required for weight loss, and that is adequate rest.

Without adequate rest, you demand your body to send up a lot of food noise urges. It has to ask for food, and it's always gonna ask for food that it knows is sexy, sexy, sexy, like Barry White singing on an album. It ain't gonna ask for broccoli, no carrots and hummus. It wants something it knows that you will eat because it's tempting.

It's always gonna suggest the easy stuff because it needs food, and it needs rest.

And if you aren't giving yourself enough rest, it eats food to try to keep your ass redlining all the time. And the last way overdieting shows up is during the week, you're so worried you're gonna overeat your favorite foods on the weekend that you give yourself zero pleasure during the week. So now we got the trifecta going into the weekend.

I've denied myself rest during the week.

I've underate, and I've underpleasured.

It is no fucking wonder we go into the weekend and we're eating anything that's not nailed down.

Our body is trying to offset Monday through Friday damage. Now that's one of the ways. Overdieting. Write it down. Number two, overdoing.

We overdo like a motherfucker.

This is where like, especially, like, if you are on GLP ones, this is why I always say, you better be working on your fucking shit because your fucking shit will come back on you no matter what.

This is what I mean. Overdoing during the week is I'm gonna give you three good examples. Number one, you don't let people help you at all because you feel guilty and you feel bad if you do.

You'll say things like, oh, my husband works so hard. He shouldn't have to help me at night. I should just be able to do all this. Is there a lot of I should just be able to do all of this? As if we are supposed to be able to push ourselves to the limits all the time without any break. This is a big problem for most women.

The other way it comes up is we don't say no to any fucking thing.

So, like, we have a lot of shit on our list that we gotta do, and we said yes to it when we really deep down wanted to say no.

And now we're full of dread all the time. Every day is like we're dreading this thing we said yes to. We're dreading this thing we said yes to.

And the reason why we do it is because we're so afraid that if we say no, we'll be seen as bitchy, selfish, lazy, rude, wrong, or we worry that people, if we say no, we'll lose them.

They won't like me anymore.

They'll cut me out. Like, there's all these bad things that are gonna happen.

Chronic people pleasers are people who say yes when they know deep down. If they just had some balls, they'd say no.

If they weren't afraid of losing people, they'd say no.

So the answer is for these people, you gotta learn, how do you start saying no to things without coming across bitchy if that's your main worry?

How is saying no to things not actually selfish? Maybe it's not selfish.

Maybe you just have too much on your plate right now, and you need to let somebody know. You know, I got a lot on my plate right now. I just can't make room for anything extra, but I so appreciate you thinking of me.

And then the last one is you're stuck thinking that if you aren't doing a million things, then somehow you must be lazy or you're not good enough.

So you kinda stay overly busy all the time so that you don't feel guilty for not doing enough.

So in this case, when we're overdoing and this is important because a lot of women think they're gonna lose weight and just be happy.

If you lose all your weight doing anything, I don't care if it's GLP one, fasting, calorie counting, whatever diet you do. If you just become a thin version of this lady who's overdoing, that's fucking miserable. It is a shame.

Your diet should literally put a sack over its head and go into the corner and be ashamed.

Because if they're not helping you with this stuff, what the fuck is the point?

This is the reasons why we end up overeating.

If we don't learn how to say no, if we don't learn how to not define our self worth based on, I guess, how much shit we take from people, how much we do for people, if we don't unlearn some of that stuff, you will always be thin and fearful, thin and overworked, thin and miserable.

Now some people can keep their weight off and still be miserable, unhappy.

Most people don't. This is why so many women will tell me I lost all of my weight. And when I did, like, losing the weight actually felt great.

But I still was worried about what everybody thought. I went from worrying they think I'm fat to worrying that they're counting down the days until I regain my weight. Because if you're a chronic worrier, guess what your brain does?

Keeps you worrying.

It just shifts its focus to something else. It's like, well, you're used to worrying, and you never taught me not to worry. So now I gotta figure out something to worry about. So now I worry about this.

This is why all this stuff's important. Losing weight is not just how many calories you're eating.

It's not just what foods you're eating.

Like, the biggest part to me about losing weight is losing the emotional weight you carry around. Because because if you don't lose your emotional weight, you will end up eating it.

Alright. Now the last thing. So we've got over dieting, we've got overdoing.

So that's your two big reasons why you could do good all week and then blow it on the weekend. Here comes number three.

Overdramaticizing.

Now I know this is funny from somebody who yells a lot and cusses a lot and, you know, looks like a short haired version of Dolly Parton, which I happen to be going to see Dolly Parton in December. I am so thrilled in counting down my days. So over dramatic dramatizing is this. Have you ever let's say it's Friday night, and the girls are like, come on, Corinne. We are going to La Hacienda.

It is going to be fab tabulous, and we're gonna have margaritas, and we're gonna have chips, and we're gonna bitch about our dickhead boss.

And you're like, I wanna go to that. That sounds good. I like bitching about old dickhead.

And you go, and you swore on a bobber.

I'm only gonna have one margarita, and I'm gonna have just a few chips. And that's all I'm doing. And you get there, and it's like one margarita turns into four because the dickhead conversation was outstanding.

And then everybody was eating chips the entire time, and you just mindlessly ate chips.

What do you do on Saturday besides wake up first thing in the morning feeling like fucking ass because you swore to god you weren't gonna do it? And here we are, we've lied, we feel bad, and we're probably bloated with a headache.

We tell ourselves dumb shit like this.

Oh my god. I was doing so good. I blew it all.

Well, the weekend is already off to a, like, a crashing start. I might as well just eat what I like, and I swear on Monday, I'm starting over. I won't I won't even go to Margaritaville on Friday. Not going. So we make fantasy land promises.

It is like we're living on fantasy island from the seventies.

Here's the problem.

You did not ruin everything.

You do not have to start over.

If you just didn't do that part and decided to be like, next best decision. That's what I teach my clients all the time. I'm like, look. If something goes awry on a Friday night, talk to me about it.

Tell me what happened. Either post our Facebook group, go to Ask Coaches, do something.

Tell me about it, and I will tell you why it made sense, what was probably going on, and what next time, how we can work this so that you have more control where you get to enjoy things, but also, like, doing what you said you would do would be a lot easier.

If all they did was make a next best decision on reaching out for hell and then telling themselves, I bet you there's a solution for this. So all I gotta do today is just get right back on track.

If you are not overdramaticizing, guess what doesn't happen on the weekends?

You don't consume thousands of extra calories.

So many women will, like, I don't know, on a margarita night, fifteen hundred calories.

I don't even teach calorie counting, but I'm like most women. I'm not dumb. I know how much calories is in a margarita. Let's say it's fifteen hundred.

Why turn fifteen hundred into five thousand by Sunday night, where you're sitting down recreating the last fucking supper as if you're Jesus and your family is your disciples?

That is not good.

The problem isn't that you had margaritas and chips galore on Friday night. It's that you made it worse than it was.

You didn't take a breath and figure out, what can I do differently next time?

I wonder why I got caught up in that.

If you've done that, you'd be well on your way to losing weight. But what ends up happening is too many women, they're making these three mistakes week after week after week, and it fucking sucks.

Sucks the life out of you. It sucks all your belief that you can lose weight, And yet, we keep doing these three things. We stay over dieting, crashing on the weekends.

We stay overdoing, crashing on the weekends.

And we overdramaticize every little mistake we make to the point that we would rather be miserable being overweight and not try again so that we don't have to deal with the part of us that doesn't like how we show up.

And I'm like, no. We need to deal with her.

Because if she doesn't like how you're showing up in your diet, she's also a very judgy bitch. I guaran damn tee you, she's showing up in all areas of your life telling you all the ways you do it wrong. There's just some areas of life you can't quit. You can't quit your kids, and yet your brain probably tells you all the time that you're you're not a good enough mother. You should be doing more.

But you don't quit them. You just let her kick you in the ass every day.

You don't quit your job.

Just because you make a mistake, you don't be like, you know what, boss? I'm out of here. I gotta I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna quit for your own good.

We don't do that either because in some areas, we just keep the bitch. And in other areas, we run from her.

My answer is simple.

We turn off the bitch.

We reteach her how to talk to you.

We actually go deep inside, and we ask her what's really going on for you to treat me this way?

That's how you're gonna lose weight.

Otherwise, you could lose weight.

White knuckling, depriving yourself, cutting out shit, but continuing to over diet, continuing to overdramaticize, continuing to beat yourself up, and continuing to overdo.

And you're just a thin version of someone that you wake up one day and you're like, what is going on with my life? I lost all my weight. And for some reason, I'm not near as happy as I thought I would be.

And your brain is like, well, I know how to make you happy.

Come on over to Ding Dong Land.

Ding dongs, oatmeal pies, Cheetos, and washing it all down with a little Mountain Dew, that is for sure gonna solve our problems. And that's how we regain weight.