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If picking a “goal weight” makes you want to hide under a blanket with snacks…you’re not alone. Most women don’t realize they can start losing weight without ever setting a number.

In this episode, I share:

• Why big number goals freak most women out (and keep you from starting)
• How to set “goal life” milestones that make weightloss feel doable, not overwhelming
• The exact steps she took to lose 100lbs—even when she couldn’t imagine herself at a smaller size

You’ll learn how to ditch the pressure of a magic number, focus on the life you actually want, and make progress without the mental drama that’s been holding you back.

If “goal weight” has been paralyzing you, this episode will feel like permission to finally begin.

🎧 Listen now and discover the better way to start.

http://NoBSFreeCourse.com

Okay. Welcome back, everybody. Today I wanna tell you something that most diets really never teach, and that is, girl, you ain't gotta set a goal weight to lose weight.

I didn't. I didn't set a goal weight at all. When I first started losing weight back in twenty o five, I was not sitting around thinking, hell, yeah. I wanna weigh a hundred and fifty pounds.

Oh, it was a hell no. I didn't even know what a good weight for me was. I'd never been thin, and I couldn't picture weighing a hundred and fifty pounds. And, honestly, just thinking about losing weight and setting a goal weight, it freaked me the fuck out.

Any number that I picked felt impossible. It felt out of reach. And every time I would try to pick a number in the past of what I thought I should weigh, it just reminded me of all the times I failed. It would trigger the you never can lose weight.

You always quit. You know your whole family's fat. You know you can't do it. It would trigger all of it.

So instead of a goal weight, when I decided to lose weight, I was like, oh, hell no. We ain't doing that shit. I'm not gonna get freaked out before I even get started. So I just asked myself a really important question.

What kind of life do you want, Corinne? You know, it's so funny to me. In all the diets I'd ever done, no one ever asked me that. No one ever asked me what I really wanted.

They always just asked me, how much weight do you wanna lose? I guarantee you right now, if you hired a trainer online, if you went to your local fitness joint, I've hired anybody, the first question is, well, tell me how much weight you wanna lose. If you were to go, I bet you, to New or Weight Watchers or any of them, and they're like, you know, like, I'm doing it. You fire up the app.

They always have a questionnaire. What do they start with? What's your age, height, and how much weight do you wanna lose?

Y'all, nobody asks us what kind of life do we want, and yet when everybody's losing weight, what is it that we really want? Nobody says, I would like to be a hundred and fifty pounds while still worrying what everybody else thinks, judging my body harshly, scared to death of all the food. No. You know what we say? I just wanna be happy. I just wanna wake up and food not consume my life. I just wanna be able to eat a meal and not lose control.

But we always talk about the life we want.

So I asked myself, and I'm so grateful to me for doing it, and that's what I wanna teach you today about what kind of life do you want because that I think we can picture.

When I asked myself the question, here's what I thought.

First, I was sick and tired of my life revolving around food and sitting on my couch. I wanted to feel better. I wanted to be able to keep up with my damn son because he was a hot rod from the moment his little feet learned how to walk.

I wanted to stop obsessing about food all the fucking time, so that's what I focused on in the beginning. I didn't need a number, but I did need to get my life in order.

I needed to find a life that I could live. And for some of you, you may be trying to get your life back. I never had that.

I never had a moment in my life from I mean, I don't even I guess when I was eight years old I was thin, But at the age of nine, I started gaining weight, never looked back.

I never had a time when food wasn't everything in my life. I never had a time where I wasn't mean to my body. I never had a time when I felt like I could keep up with the other people.

So one of the first things I remember when I first started losing weight was I was so embarrassed because I had to shop at Lane Bryant, and I fucking hated that store.

My entire life from the age of nine, I was in some kind of plus section.

I couldn't wear cute stuff that other girls wore, and I hated that.

I'll never forget when I was in the sixth grade.

We were I don't even remember what we were doing in the sixth grade, but I had to have a dress.

And we were doing something at the church, and we couldn't find a dress that fit me.

So my granny had one in her closet, and I wore my granny's fucking dress to this event. I still remember it was this pale pink. It had buttons down the front. It was like a long tunic type top with a really long skirt, and all the other girls had little dresses that hit at the knees that were really cute. They looked like little girl clothes, and I looked like I had just walked out of the nursing home.

So it was embarrassing, embarrassing as hell. I didn't look like the other girls. I didn't feel like them.

And I just remember when I first wanted to lose weight, one of the first things I really wanted was to walk into any goddamn store I could, pick something off the rack, and wear it. That I didn't need to go to special sections or special stores just to find clothes.

For me, that was really important.

And another thing when I first started losing weight, when I was thinking about, alright. What kind of life do you want? And this is one that it's almost embarrassing to talk about, but y'all know me. I'm gonna tell y'all my ass as my mama says. Like, I will talk my guts all day long and give you twenty minutes to draw a crowd to listen to it.

I wanted to have sex without getting winded or feeling like we couldn't figure out how to get it down there without moving some stuff around.

And that is just me being honest with you.

Some positions were impossible. Some positions were hard. We had very few that actually worked. I didn't wanna be on top.

One, I was always afraid I was gonna crush my husband Even though I was not, like, I was not gonna crush him. It's so funny because we weighed about the same. We were both at this time, we were both two hundred fifty pounds. And I'm like, I don't know why he can crawl on top of me, and I never think about him crushing me.

But for God's sakes, if I get up there, all I could think is I was just gonna, like, kill him in one fell swoop.

But I also worried that Chris would end up leaving me because of all this. Not only did I wanna be able to just have sex and have fun sex like everybody else, I didn't want him to leave me because I was fat.

And he never ever ever said that he was ever gonna leave me. He never made he didn't do anything my our entire mess marriage other than look at me like a hungry dog staring at a damn pork chop. It doesn't matter what size I've been. He he loves my scars.

He loved all my loose skin. Still loves my body to this day. But it's not just my body. He loves me.

But I didn't love me, and I didn't love my body. So it was really hard for me to imagine that he did.

And that was the heavy crap that I lived with. I would lay in bed at night wondering if he was gonna leave me.

How would I ever be able to take care of myself? I remember running through, like, this is how much bills would cost and what kind of job could I get to be able to support me and Logan. It was miserable.

I was very insecure. I didn't feel safe.

I didn't feel like I was the mother or the wife that I wanted to be, and that's when I knew I had to do something. I couldn't wait until I could get comfortable enough to set a goal weight. That day was never coming for me. So I just decided I just wanna set some goals about the life I would like to have.

I didn't wanna goal weight anymore. It dawned on me. I really wanted a goal life.

So I want I wanted to to walk into any store and believe something could fit. I wanted to be the mom who went for walks and played instead of sitting on the couch.

I wanted to stop eating so I could start trying to feel better.

And at the time, a goal weight, it didn't motivate me. It scared me. It made me anxious. It overwhelmed me.

But when I was thinking about the goal life, I noticed that I would calm down.

I could see myself walking with Logan. I could now picture in my head going to dinner and not eating like a maniac. I could feel what it would be like to not hate myself when I saw a picture. I could imagine myself doing fun things in the bedroom with Chris in a lighter body, and that's what made it safe for me to try again.

And that's the nervous system stuff that we never talk about in weight loss that diets are not addressing.

When you set a huge goal, some kind of big goal, especially if it's a goal that you have failed at what feels like a million times, your brain is designed to flip the fuck out. Then when your brain is going donkey butt, your nervous system, it starts going into overdrive. You start feeling anxious. You start feeling scared. You start feeling panicky. And instead of a goal weight motivating you, a goal weight has you shutting down and running for the refrigerator.

But a goal life for some of us is a really great place to start. It just kinda feels very different for us. So when I said, just wanna feel better, I could almost feel my body relaxing.

My brain didn't fight with me. It was like, well, okay. That sounds like a worthy goal. Let's do what we can today to try to feel better while we lose weight.

And y'all, I didn't even pick a number until I got to a hundred and seventy five pounds. I started at two fifty. After I'd lost seventy five pounds, that was the first time in my weight loss journey where I thought, you know what?

I bet I could lose twenty five more and maybe weigh a hundred and fifty pounds. It was the first time that I could not attach my self worth to it. It was the first time that I felt like challenging myself. It was the first time that it didn't scare me. It made me a little nervous because I hadn't done it before, but I wasn't freaking out, which is a huge difference.

There's a difference between running for the hills and feeling a little nervous, but saying, like, okay. I'm gonna hold my nose and jump anyway.

So I had seventy five pounds at that point of evidence that I could make changes, that I could create a life that I wanted.

I had enough wins at that point to where I finally thought, you know what? I think I can set a goal weight at this point and see what happens. And one fifty ended up being the right number for me, But it came after I did a lot of meeting myself where I was at.

I met the part of me who was scared to death, freaking out and stuff, and I said, I hear you and I see you, and I'm not gonna make you do things you're not ready for.

What kind of life do you want? And I listened to her, and that made all the difference in the world for my weight loss to get started.

Because before that, I just focused on doing things, and I only measured my my progress on the scale. I didn't think about the life I was creating.

So one of the things that when I started creating, like, alright. We're gonna just go after a goal life that I noticed that changed first because I didn't weigh in the very beginning at all. I didn't weigh in when I first started. I didn't weigh in for a while.

I was at the mall with my husband, and we were just, you know, shopping, like looking like, we base we went to the mall back then. That was all you had to do. We didn't have all the streaming services and stuff we have now. We didn't have social media back then. So you actually went to the mall for a damn good time. So we're at the mall, and we're walking around.

And for the first time, I realized, holy shit.

I'm walking a little bit faster than Chris. I'm having to slow down for him. And I remember saying to him, hey.

Do you notice? Like, I have not asked you to slow down one time? And he said, yeah. And, like, you're actually walking faster than me.

And I was like, hell yeah. I am. I was so proud. There was like, there is no number on the scale that was ever gonna make me feel prouder than the day that I realized I could actually walk faster than my husband.

So when you set a goal life, not only does it help you get started, but you get so many new ways to see how good you're doing.

You don't have to make the scale the only thing that measures your success. You get to have so many other things that are telling you that you're winning, that you're changing. That's why I always ask my clients, if you didn't have a scale, how would you know you're succeeding? I love that question because here are some of the things that you might one day answer.

You would wake up with more energy. You'd notice clothes are getting looser. You would notice that you now go out to eat and you don't panic. You actually are settled and you peruse the menu.

You notice that you're not eating every single night anymore. You might notice that you are in pictures smiling regardless of your weight. You're more interested in making sure that moments, important ones in your life are captured.

So I've got a client. Her name's Karen. I hope she's listening.

Who's a really good example of working on a goal life.

So Karen joined. She has lot she had a lot of weight to lose, but she didn't let that stop her from figuring out how to start building her goal life.

She really focused on how she wanted to change, what her life needed to look like. So I will tell you, she is changing all kinds of things, and it's not just her physical weight.

It's the emotional weight that she's shedding each and every week that I notice the most.

Karen does a post in our group every single day, and she starts the thread with, like, with sharing your wins. She wants she does one for wise and she does one for wins. And they're not wins like, I lost two pounds. People are sharing real things that are impactful to their life. Like, my biggest win this week is I didn't let my mom's negativity ruin my day and make me eat. Or last night, I took a walk instead of eating Cheetos like I normally do.

So Karen used to be terrified to move her body because she had a really bad car accident, and she just never thought that she would, like, be able to do fitness or anything like that.

But I'm gonna tell you, even with her having a big arm injury right now, and her situation is very hard, but I coached her this week on it, she is still moving.

She's doing more minutes on a step mill than I am right now. I think she I can't remember. She did twenty minutes this week. She did like a lot of minutes this week. And I was like, yeah, I did twelve today. And I really thought I was gonna need a c like CPR afterward.

She bought a bike in the very early days. We have a coach who helps her named Betsy in our group and then me, and she named her the Betsy Corinne. And she started with riding it. And let me tell you, she didn't even I don't even know if she knew how to ride a bike, but she was determined to learn.

And she figured it out. She's lifting weights. She's just doing all kinds of things, and she posts all the time about how people aren't triggering her as much, how her relationship with herself is changing. She's always such a good example of how weight loss, when done right, should be changing you from the inside out.

It shouldn't just all be, I can see you losing weight because your body is smaller. It should be like, I can see you're losing emotional and physical weight. Not only are you getting smaller, but you're happier.

And that for me is one of the things that I love so much about the women in my program.

Every single day, I get to hear women say, thank you, Corinne.

My husband wants to thank you. My kids want to thank you. They are telling me, you are so much happier.

There is not a week that goes by that some woman will, you know, say that she wants to give up no BS because maybe they've got a bill that came in or something. And her husband will be like, no. Like, we will cut anything, but we will not cut Corinne out of your life. You are such a happier person.

And this means a lot to the people in your life because my members, the people in their life love them. And there's nothing your loved ones want more than to see you happy.

And it hurts them when they see that you're not.

So my goal is to teach you how to lose that weight both emotionally and physically.

So I wanna tell you how to set a goal life in four steps because I would much rather you do that than just set a goal weight.

First, I want you to write down what you most want in life. I do not want the number.

I do not want you to think about what number you should want. I don't want you to think about what you should, feel like, whatever. I want you to write honestly just for you, no one else is reading this, what you really want. There is nothing shameful in your answers.

There's nothing too vain.

I wanted to be sexy. After I lost about the first thirty pounds, my next big want was to be sexy. I wanted people to notice my ass, and it was highly motivating. Motivating. That's not vain. That's just called being honest.

And we all have our own unique wants and desires. So maybe you want to be able to take your grandkids to Disney, and they wear out before you. Maybe you wanna go on a cruise and, like, you don't spend the entire cruise worrying about are you getting your money's worth at the buffet.

Maybe you wanna be intimate with your partner just like I did without feeling insecure or ashamed of yourself.

Just write it down because science shows that when we write our goals down, we engage the part of our brain that makes pictures, that imagines, that gets clear, and gets grounded in our decisions. It helps you slow down enough to really process what you're writing so that you're not sitting there and just letting your mind wander off into the, you know, into the void.

So the second thing you're gonna do is you're gonna write all the things that you're done with. So first, we're writing down what we want, and the second, we're writing down things that we don't want.

So this one's usually easier for some people. So if you wanna start with this one first, have at it. It might just grease the wheels of that brain of yours. Maybe you don't wanna feel exhausted anymore.

Maybe you don't wanna keep saying yes to things that you know you don't wanna do anymore.

Maybe you don't want to hide in photos. Maybe you don't want to be a quitter anymore. You just want to write down and get it out on paper all the things like, I am done being this person. I don't want this anymore in my life. And then we move on to step three, which is on a scale of one to four, how much do you believe you can create this life you just wrote down? That where your dreams and your desires and the things inside of you that no one else sees, like your secret wishes. So on a scale of one to four, how much do you believe that you can create this life?

One being hell no, four being absolutely.

If it's a three or four, awesome. It's just time to get started.

If you're a one or a two, then you've got to go on to step four.

So if we are at a three or a four, you don't have to do any more work. It's just time to, like, get going and creating it. Figure out what you gotta do to get there. Start with small stuff. But for all of my people who are one or a two, which might be you, don't feel bad about that. I want you to just ask yourself, why don't I believe I can have this life?

And list all of your reasons, not some, but really list them. This is going to give you a chance to let the scared part of you, the part of you that worries it can't have it, we wanna let her have a say so.

She needs to be heard. That's why she's keeping you at a one and two. You don't wanna keep her locked up in the closet. You wanna bring her out, set her down next to you, and you want to talk with her.

Let her say what she's afraid of, why she thinks she can't do it so that you can talk with her, reassure her, help her see what might not be as scary as she thinks it is. So she may have reasons like, I've never done this before. I always quit. I love food too much.

No one supports me right now. My life is just too hard. It's too busy. It's all these things.

I've got too much bullshit from my past I can't move forward from.

That list, now that right there is what you need help with the most. Those are the things that are standing between you and the life you most want, and they're gonna feel very true and very real. But what I wanna ask tell you is that when something feels true, that doesn't always make it a hundred percent true. Byron Katie asks a really good question you can use here. For every one of them, when you think that's just the truth, you wanna ask, but is it really, really true?

Like, room for error whatsoever. You would bet your child's life that you're too busy. You would bet your child's life on this, your dog's life, your cat's life. You would bet your retirement on this.

Most of the time what happens is that makes your brain come up with, well, it's not a hundred percent true.

This is also true.

It's just the rest of this feels really true. And we need to see that because you don't want to just believe things that feel true to you.

You want to start noticing that there's opportunity to talk to yourself in a little bit more caring way, a little bit more balanced way that's not so overwhelming or so black and white.

So that right there, uncovering these things and figuring out how to remove those from the life you wanna live, like get them out of the way on the path to forming the life that you really want, that is what we do inside an OBS. That's what makes our whole weight loss program different. This is why women lose weight and they feel better. And this is why most of them say, I am No BS for life. I will be with you until I draw my last breath.

You are my therapy. You are the best money I ever spent Because I am not here just to help women lose weight. I don't want to be another, you know, cog in the diet machine.

I want to help women build the life they actually want.

And I do that through teaching them how to lose weight in a way where they address what's really going on, where they don't lean on food anymore, where they figure out how to get the things that they most want out of their life.

And when you do that, I promise you, the weight takes care of itself.

So if you've been scared to set a goal weight, I want you to hear me.

There's nothing wrong with you.

You're not broken.

You're not lazy. You're not doing something wrong.

We just wanna make it safe, and you can do that by setting a goal life first and then let the weight follow.

I'll see y'all next week.