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Losing weight can feel slow, hard, and like you’re screwing everything up.

But if you’re not giving yourself credit for what’s actually working—you’re going to give up too soon.

In this episode, I’ll teach you how to spot real progress (even when the scale’s not moving), how to stop calling yourself lazy when you’re actually trying hard, and how to feel better—without needing every day to be perfect.

This is the exact mindset shift emotional eaters need to lose weight for the last time.

🎧 Listen now and learn how to keep going—even when it feels slow as hell.

Speaker 1 (00:00):

Do you ever think, why is this still so damn hard? Shouldn't it be easier by now? If that thought is coming up, then I want to tell you something that is a thought that makes women just give up way too soon. And I want to say this, just because something feels hard doesn't mean it actually is hard. Sometimes our brain is making things feel hard because underneath it, it is assuming that something's going wrong, as if you're not getting this fast enough like you're behind, you must be doing it wrong. The same thing happens when we have the feeling of overwhelm. Very often we are like, I'm so overwhelmed, and we're telling ourselves underneath, we're behind, we're not doing enough. And if we ever look at the truth behind all of that, we're rarely behind or not doing enough. In fact, the truth is we're doing so much that we feel overwhelmed. 

Speaker 1 (00:59):

Actually, the truth is, I am over committed right now. I am trying to do too many things, and when we admit the truth, guess what? It is a lot easier to find out the solution. So just because something feels hard or overwhelming, it doesn't mean that somehow you are not doing it right. In fact, feeling like it's hard, that's often the exact feeling we get during the process of building new habits. So most of the time everybody expects any kind of progress to feel and look very obvious. We have a very narrow definition of what making progress is, and in weight loss, it's almost always, well, if the scale's not going down, I must not be making progress. There are a thousand things that have to happen to make the scale go down, and those 1000 things are all progress. You have to put on your big girl panties and start recognizing that progress is going to come in a lot of ways. 

Speaker 1 (02:05):

My job is to make sure I'm seeing that so that I don't make things harder than they have to be while the scale is doing its thing, while it's catching up, while it's going down hell. Half the time y'all be losing weight and telling yourself it ain't fast enough. Talk about making it hard and overwhelming. We have to listen to this stuff or otherwise we're going to feel like shit while we're trying to lose weight. So you have to remember that progress isn't just big changes, huge wins. It's every little thing. It's little aha moments. It's that bite left behind. It's stopping midway through a binge. So when you are actually changing your habits, when we are talking about real habit change that lasts forever, it is 1000 small reps small. It is 1000 tiny decisions that you're making in the moment that will never feel like they're good enough unless you tell yourself, oh, this is why I've sabotaged myself in the past. 

Speaker 1 (03:15):

This is why I've quit. Before I had success. This is why I gave up. The second it started feeling hard. It's because I am not recognizing the small shit. I'm only giving myself credit for the big shit. So we have to train our brains to notice the new things. You are not built to notice those, so you have got to train yourself to do it. Teach yourself. That's where your reticular activating system comes in. Or for short, your RAS, you'll hear me talk about this a lot in no BS, your RAS is the part of your brain that acts like a filter. Think about it. I once heard, I cannot remember the guy's name, but I once heard him describe it as when you have a dryer, we have a lint filter, and when you clean it, it's clean. The lint filter's job is to find all the little bitty things on the clothes that you won't see, but that make the clothes kind of dirty, not look as good. 

Speaker 1 (04:20):

And so it's on the hunt for the little things and it finds it and it collects it. That is kind of like what lays over your brain. The RAS is like the lint filter. It's job is to find all these little things, but it's on the hunt for things you're looking for. So if you don't tell yourself, I'm looking for small wins, I'm looking for every ounce of progress, your brain's going to be like, oh yeah, I need to wait until Friday when I weigh in, and if the scale goes down, I get to feel good. And if the scale doesn't go down, then everything else doesn't count. I must be a loser. I should quit. So your RAS is that filter and it's going to decide what's important and what to ignore in the world. And whatever you talent it needs to focus on is what it will look for. 

Speaker 1 (05:08):

That is what your brain will go to work on. So if you keep thinking this isn't working, the scale's not going down, I'm not doing it right, guess what your Rs is like, awesome. I'm going to go prime all kinds of proof to show you. You suck. I will highlight every little thing. So let's say I'll highlight every little thing that you're doing wrong. So I always teach you that one of the most powerful things you can do to lose weight is to get really good at catching yourself in the middle or close to the end of an overeat and have the compassion to stop instead of keep going. If your RAS thinks that you suck and that nothing's working, guess what? It's going to be like. You screwed up. Oh my God, you can't lose weight. You might as well quit. If you're training your brain to find progress, guess what happens? 

Speaker 1 (06:05):

You tell yourself in that moment, okay, I used to finish this. In fact, it used to turn into a fuck it, eat. This is another one of those things. I got to learn how to lose weight. Look at me making progress. So we have to tell that brain of ours what it's supposed to be looking for. So we've got to start training it to look for any kind of shifts. I caught myself before IS snacked. Half of y'all will sit there and say like, oh my God, get red. My brain is still asking for snacks. I've never is white. That is not true. If you're catching it before, guess what? Progress? Just because your brain's still asking for a damn snack don't mean you ain't making progress. Maybe you wrote a plan and you followed it half the day, but you didn't make it to dinner. 

Speaker 1 (06:52):

Okay, good. Now we've got you at least getting half a day down. Now we just got to solve for what's going on at dinner. If you felt frustrated and you caught yourself in the middle of a cookie and you laid it down, good progress. If you are catching yourself wanting to eat and somehow being able to talk yourself out of it progress, we want your brain spotting all kinds of wins, and you have got to expand your definition of what winning looks like. If you do not want to be overwhelmed or feeling like weight loss is too hard, because the truth is every little win counts in the big ass chum bucket of weight loss. And when you're counting wins and you're constantly telling yourself where you're making improvements, number one, you just get to feel better. And any kind of habit that makes you feel better, your brain's going to want to keep doing it. 

Speaker 1 (07:52):

So make sure you are on the hunt for them. So today what I want you to do is I want you to write down one thing that you did this week or that you did today that in the moment you probably dismissed it, skipped over it, thought it wasn't good enough, beat yourself up over it and stuff. But we're going to look at it through the new RAS lens. Where was the win there? Where was the progress? What actually am I not thinking about that could be fucking helpful for my weight loss? And then I would love for you to post it in the Facebook group. We got to encourage each other, y'all. We got to be in this all together. We are no BS women. We are changing the weight loss industry. That means we got to support each other. When you are changing, you need to show other people that you are, because it inspires that next lady who's sitting there thinking, I don't think this is going to work for me, but I don't see me doing this. We need more women speaking up and saying, things are changing. I'm making changes inside and out. I.