You don’t have to believe in yourself to lose weight.

You just need to stop quitting every time you feel like you’ve screwed it all up.

In this episode, I’m talking about the hardest part of weightloss. It’s not counting calories, finding the “right” plan, or giving up your favorite foods.

It’s believing you can actually do it...especially after years of trying and failing.

Listen now to find out:

• Why belief isn’t something you need to have on day one, and how it actually grows from your messiest moments
• The real reason most women quit (hint: it’s not lack of willpower)
• How to stop being a jackass to yourself and finally handle your overeating in a way that builds momentum, not shame

This episode is going to change the way you talk to yourself, the way you handle mistakes and the way you think about what it really takes to lose weight for the last time.

Welcome back everybody. So what I want to talk to you about today is what I call the hardest part of fucking losing weight. And it has nothing to do with the foods we eat. It has nothing to do with the right program. Should I count calories? Should I count macro? Should I be fasting? Should I eat bread? Should I eat sugar? What about the seeds? Corinne, it has nothing to do with that stuff. The absolute hardest part of losing weight is trying again, after years and years and years of not being able to do it. There is a part of you that I am sure if you were anything like I was back when I had to lose my a hundred pounds. That kind of keeps whispering to you. Hey Corrine, you are never going to be able to lose weight. So why do you even try?

And you've probably even said it out loud either. If you have been on my social, maybe you've done one of my challenges. You've probably said to a girlfriend, girl, I do good for like three days. Then I mess up and I just quit. Or maybe I remember so many times my mom and I sitting around having a big fat kumbaya over this one sentence, we're just always going to be fat. I used to think this shit all the time. Hell, I thought it while I was even losing weight. I remember so many times sitting there actually losing weight and still thinking I'm always going to be fat and still thinking I am like one cookie away from blowing it all, having to start all over and regaining all of my weight. So if you don't learn anything today in this podcast, this is what you must pay attention to.

You can 100% not believe in yourself and still lose weight. I'm going to say this again for the woman in the back who thinks that she can't get started right now because she doesn't believe yet. It is a hundred percent possible to not fucking believe in yourself and still lose weight. You don't need to believe you can lose your weight at all in order to get started, but you do need to believe this. This right here that weight loss is possible even when you are not convinced it is that you've got to believe because let's be honest, every single one of us can lose weight. We all just have very unique reasons why in the past it has been hard for us. So one more time, you can lose your weight. It is possible. It's just that when you've tried in the past for some reason it has been hard for you just like it was for me.

I mean, I had failed. I just want you to think about this for a second. I failed every single diet I tried. I lost weight, regained weight, lost weight regained weight over and over and over again until the last time when the right combination of things for me all came together and I was able to lose. And that is exactly what has happened. For every single person that's ever worked for me, no one comes to me because they're like, Corinne, I'm so successful in weight loss. Here's what I'd love to do. I'd like to just chip into the Corinne charity and I would love for you to just have extra money every month on me because I'm so fucking good. At the weight loss thing said, no one ever, every woman I've ever worked with, I have worked with tens of thousands of women to help them lose weight.

Not a single one entered the program because they're so fucking good at it that they wanted to just hand me some money. They all were just like you and just like me. Nothing worked until they found the thing that did. So that proves that you can lose weight. But in the past you have had your unique reasons why it's been hard for you and why it hasn't worked. Now, for some people, their unique reason, this was one of my stack of reasons why it'd been so hard for me is that you have extreme negative. You're so hard on yourself that eating is sometimes the only way to shut the inner critic the fuck up. And that was me for, I mean, I couldn't even be with myself. I remember on the weekends when I was single, especially dreading when my friends all had plans and we couldn't spend the entire weekend go, go, go and doing things because that meant I was going to be at home.

And if I was at home, all I would if I didn't eat, all I thought about was nobody loves you. You're probably never going to get married. You better get used to this life. You're too disgusting for anybody to want. And it was no wonder that on the weekends I literally lived off raw cookie dough, McDonald's and pizza because if I was going to be by myself, I couldn't handle sitting there and being with me. Watching TV didn't even help. The only thing that helped was eating, eating and eating. And when I was eating, I was focused on the food and when I would get so full, then I was focused on the beat down of being overweight. What I didn't focus on though is the hopelessness of my life. So for a lot of us, the reason why a lot of diets in the past didn't work is because they weren't helping us with our extreme negative self-taught.

Now for other people, this may be you. You're in a season of life where you're just fucking time strapped. So I was coaching a woman just the other day on losing weight and she was trying to get back into shape like she was 10 years ago and she was exercising daily. Back then she was doing all kinds of amazing things like we are not going to take anything away from the 40-year-old version of herself that was getting after it. But she was talking to me and having a really hard time getting her weight off and getting back into the swing of things back on track as we say, because today her husband has ms. Today, she's also taking care of her aging parents. And I looked at her and I said, none of this means that you can't lose weight. She kept thinking, I'll never be able to lose weight because now I can't do all the things I did 10 years ago.

My husband has ms. I'm taking care of my parents. I can't do what I used to do. And I said, yeah, that doesn't mean you can't lose weight. What it means is you can't do it the way you used to do it. She used to be able to spend 90 minutes in the gym every single day. She used to be able to put herself first. She used to be able to make everybody wait until she was taken care of and then she could go about and do stuff. She does not have that luxury right now, and she didn't have to deal with emotional eating back then because her life was set up very different. It's really easy to not emotionally eat when you have plenty of time to feel like you're pouring into your own cup. So I told her this time, losing weight, it's going to be going to be very different than you've ever done it in the past.

So it doesn't mean you can't lose weight, it just means we can't lose weight like you used to. Now you have to be someone who learns how to comfort yourself when you're tired without food, you have to be someone who doesn't compare themselves to who they used to be. You have to be someone on the hunt of who do you want to be. Now you have to make sure that the emotional eating components in check because you won't be at the gym 90 minutes a day trying to outrun extra eating. You might've been able to get away with a little bit back then. Life has changed. So we need the plan that works with life today. And I just told her, I said, and honestly, the plan that you do today that accommodates being compassionate to you, understanding gets you on the list instead of says, I'm either at the top or I can't be on it.

You're going to love that plan more and you're going to lose weight for life this time because you are equipping yourself to handle no matter what life throws at you in the future. And so these are two examples of why for some of us losing weight, it's really hard for us and then we end up not believing we can do it when we're not addressing these things. But here's what I want to tell you. Diets are to blame for why we don't believe in ourselves. You see, when you start a diet, it is like being given a hundred piece puzzle set. Now you can do a hundred piece puzzle set if you've got all the fucking pieces, and it's even more helpful if you've got a picture staring at you in the face. But if you are missing the last piece of the puzzle, I don't care how hard you try, you can't win.

You'll not be able to put it together. And to me, that is what traditional dieting in our country, especially in America, and I'm going to be honest, it's probably all over the world, but I really understand the Americanized diets and the traditional diet structure as we know it is just not good enough anymore. It just really isn't. And you need to start telling yourself traditional diets, they do not help me solve the missing pieces of the puzzle. They're giving me half-assed diet and expecting me to get some full ass results. I want you to think about it. Diets are giving you pieces of a puzzle. They'll give you macros. Maybe they'll give you calories, they'll give you some food lists, they'll give you some exercise recommendations, but every single one of them fails in one major way. You are not taught how to show up when your emotions and your doubts decide to come out to play and your emotions and your doubts, they're like Chucky, Chucky the doll coming out to play.

So let's say you have a bad day, you get invited out to eat, but you've been stressed all day long. You've just hit your shit tolerance for the day with your family. Well guess what's going to happen when you get invited to go out to eat. You're probably going to overeat and it's not going to be because you didn't know what to do. I mean, you have your plan. So you obviously, all of you are smart. You know how to follow plans. You probably had your calories all laid out for you. Of course you knew you should have gone to the gym instead of going out with your friends. So our problem isn't that we don't know what to do to lose weight. We got the damn plans. All of us have a million of them circulating in our heads, wearing us the fuck out.

Our problem is unique. It is the one that has to get solved. Our problem that diets do not teach us is that we don't know what to do when we want to do something else. That sounds way fucking better in the moment than our damn diet. No diet is out there teaching us how to deal with the moments when life's hard and all we want to do is eat so that we can get a fucking break. That is one of the biggest missing pieces. If they're not helping us solve for that, they're not helping us at all because I want you to think about this and I want you to really believe this because if we're talking about what you need to believe in, you need to believe this. You aren't lazy. Most women I know are eating because they're anything but lazy. They're calling themselves lazy because they run out of fucking steam.

They run out of energy. You are trying to drive a car that's running on fumes and you're like, this is one lazy fucking car. I don't know why it can't go another 30 miles, even though the gauge is saying empty. We also are not confused. We got a lot of things going on in our head, but honestly, we aren't confused. We know what we need to do, but we have a hard time doing it and we're not undisciplined. Most women I know are too disciplined and that is the reason why they're eating their face off. They're not dealing with their emotions. They're over disciplining themselves. They're wearing themselves out, they're commanding, ordering dictator themselves to do all kinds of horseshit. So those are not the problems. And you have got to quit saying that you're lazy, that you're confused or that you're undisciplined or that you lack willpower or that you don't want it bad enough.

I ain't never met a woman wants to lose weight that had a lack of wanting it mentality. We want to lose weight. We're scared, we get overwhelmed and stuff, but it ain't because we don't want it bad enough. We are just missing the help that we desperately need and that we desperately deserve. Every single woman who is overweight must understand how she overeats when she overeats and why she's overeating. I'm going to repeat that for you in case you want to write it down. If you want to lose weight. The three things you've got to really understand if you really are going to lose it and you're going to keep it off, is you got to understand how you overeat when you overeat and why you do it. Because when you know those three things, I promise you, losing all of the fucking weight you want gets easier, clearer, and simpler.

And then we have another problem that cock blocks the shit out of us when we're trying to believe that we can lose weight. When we want to overeat or break our diet, guess what we do? We act like a complete jackass to ourselves. We take one binge and we turn it into a week of giving up and eating like fucking shit. We take one lunch when we had Mexican and we use that as an excuse to just eat up for the rest of the day and I'll just try again tomorrow I guess, or my favorite, we catch ourselves scarfing down one cookie from the break room and then we turn it into cookie gate. We eat five since we were bad starting over at square one, shouldn't have done that. Knew better. I must be lazy. I don't want it bad enough. We allow ourselves to go to catastrophe.

Hell, nobody loses weight. Perfect. My little snowflakes. For all of you who think you do, you are fucking wrong. No, like you think you got to be perfect. How about you listen to an expert? How many women have you helped lose weight? Zero. Zero. You know how many? I've helped over 1 million in my free course, over 60 million in my podcast, tens of thousands inside my program. So if you want to make sure that you can believe something, here's what you can believe. Ain't nobody ever done it being perfect. You ain't Jesus. That's the only person that ever walked faced this earth. Perfect. So quit trying to be number two. Nobody for damn sure loses weight, turning their small moments of imperfection into major fucking catastrophes. Nobody loses weight turning small moments, one overeat, one binge a bad meal, a bad day, whatever you want to call it.

And nobody ever lost weight who turns those moments into major catastrophes. But a lot of people have had days like that, learned from them, didn't talk to themselves like an asshole because they were in my program learning how to talk to themselves, not like an asshole. And they've turned those moments into learning opportunities to become the woman she wants to be. My women are focused on becoming the woman they want to be, not focused on beating up the woman that they are right now. So when you combine not knowing how to deal with common emotional eating patterns that every woman's going to have with being a fucking jackass to yourself, then you've got the recipe for quitting. Diets are giving you a recipe to quit and screw you over. Diets are giving you the recipe to quit and not lose your weight.

It is so important for you. In order to believe that you're going to be able to lose weight, you have to first realize that the way you've been going about it has been a disservice to you, has not been the full picture. They've not really tackled your unique ways that you eat that must be solved if you're going to lose weight because I promise you, every woman I've ever helped at the heart of all of it was overeats for a variety of reasons. Sometimes mindless, sometimes habit, but mostly 70% of their weight comes off because they really tackle the emotional eating. And overeats are always going to happen in your weight loss journey. It's what you do with those overeats that really matters. And when you don't know this, then it's so simple to think I can't lose weight. And you can't until you learn how to not be a jackass to yourself and how to make the most out of an ov eat so that future you gets a fighting chance of having the weight loss in life that she wants.

And that's why inside my membership I teach something called three golden Moments. Now, I want to briefly walk through them in this podcast because I think they're really important, but I will tell you there's so much more to say on these that it's best learned when you work with me. But here are the three golden moments. Well, let me say this first. I can tell you about the golden moments and you can hear all about it. But a lot of people, they're going to need someone to work with them through this stuff if they're really going to change. That's why inside my program I do the real as human coaching, me and my coaches, we do a lot of back and forth live with our members both in written form and on Zoom calls and stuff because we want to help you with your unique flavors of overeating.

But I do want you to have them because I think it's just really important for you to see that there's more than one way to stop overeating. Both of us think that stopping overeating means I need to stop before I ever eat, and that's not true. The three golden moments of an overeat, the very first golden moment is after the overeat when it's all said and done, this one is the most important one to nail. We have to get better at having an overeat and being able to analyze it, be there for ourselves through it and talk to ourselves. So if no one's teaching you what to do after overeats in your diet, then you better make a quick exit. Do not pay them money. Do not believe a word they say. Because if you want to have belief in yourself, if you want to be the person who says, Corin, thank you so much.

Not only did I lose weight, but for the first time in my life I'm really proud of myself and I really think this weight's not coming back. So this is where belief is going to start and where it's going to be formed and built over time. So right after the overeat, most of the time our brain comes flying in like the flying monkeys of the Wizard of Oz. You failed. You got to start all over, get ruined, everything. It's this moment. This is the moment where you've got to decide when your brain is bitching like an asshole. Am I going to believe the shit my brain's telling me right now or am I going to start making a new choice? And the new choice is going to feel very hard. It's easy to beat yourself up because you do it all the time. It doesn't feel good, but you believe it.

It feels true. It aligns with your belief. So it's always going to be easier to go that route. Here's the hard work. When I tell people what the hardest part of losing weight is, telling yourself new things because you don't believe them yet, even though they could be true, you don't believe them. So we're going to, in the moment, the bullshit thoughts come up, we got to say, am I going to believe this shit or am I going to learn to keep going In this moment, I want you to think about it. It is true that an overeat isn't a failure. It is. Some people will say, no, it's failing. Like, okay, but is it equally as true that an ovary is a chance to figure out what you really needed in that moment? We can all agree that we're probably eating for some kind of reason, because if we want to lose weight, we wouldn't not do our plan unless somewhere deep down something else was more important in the moment, feeling good, numbing out, getting a break, relaxing, escaping, whatever that is.

That's why we ate. So how about spending your life figuring out your needs instead of beating yourself the fuck up? Every time you lose weight or every time you try to, I mean every time you overeat because to lose weight, I advise you to learn how to listen for your old shitty shit and trade it in for learning why you ate to begin with. So then now you can fulfill those needs. I promise you'll just feel fucking better. And then golden moment two comes in, this is the middle of the overeat. This is when you catch yourself halfway through it and instead of reminding yourself, or instead of telling yourself to, oh, fuck, you screwed up, you might as well just eat. We are going to take a few deep breaths and we're going to remind ourselves, you know, don't need to keep eating and you don't have to beat yourself up because to me, golden moment number two is the one where you build a lot of inner strength.

It's easy to try to cut overeats off at the pass. The problem with trying to do it beforehand is you haven't gotten to know why you wanted to eat in the first place. Most people who are trying to stop before the overeat starts, they're not even investigating why they want to eat. They're just trying not to eat, and they're letting the reason why they want to eat go unnoticed and unfulfilled. So you're just now hungry for the emotions. You're like, I can't eat and I can't meet my needs. That's why it's a losing proposition. But in golden moment number two, it's the moment that when you get to where you can stop yourself midway, once momentum is carrying through, you're really proving to yourself that you're changing. To me, that's the most powerful thing that you can do for yourself to stop midway in a habit, to stop midway when you're trying to meet your needs and to say, I want better for myself.

I'm very willing to stop right now. Because you might think control is where you never have a transgression in eating. I don't think that. I think that's fantasy land. We don't lose weight in fantasy land. To me, golden moment number two is where so much progress is made. It means you're noticing when you're not eating the way you intended and you have got the self-compassion and the ability to stop yourself, you're teaching yourself every damn time to believe that things are truly changing for you. You are teaching yourself to believe that it won't be long from now before the reason why you're eating is going to be solved. And then that brings us to the last golden moment, number three, and that's the one right before the overeat. I teach my members to work on this one dead last because this is where you hear yourself wanting to eat. You feel the craving, you hear the excuses. Your brain is saying you're not going to lose weight anyway. And then in that moment you realize my inner critic is not trying to be a bitch. She's really got some needs and she's just trying to make sure they're getting met and she only knows how to do it through food.

Your brain knows that you could be hard on yourself, and a lot of times it wants you to eat just to escape you. It doesn't want you to feel bad. So it eats to try to escape it. I think that you need to know that it's in these moments where you really do get to work on your beliefs. In this moment, I want you saying, I'm just feeling hopeless and scared right now that I can't lose weight. That's why I'm wanting to eat. But it doesn't mean I can't lose weight. I just feel like I can't right now. And that is huge. When I first started losing weight, one of the things that I remember telling myself was that I couldn't afford to make any mistakes. And then I realized, Corrine, you can make some mistakes. What I couldn't afford was to keep treating myself like an asshole When I did, and that's when I was able to start setting myself up better and better and better each day.

I made sure that whatever I said I would do that day to lose weight felt really doable. If it didn't feel really doable, I was willing to lower the bar. I knew I couldn't do such hard shit that I was always triggering my inner asshole, but I also knew that I was going to work in such a way that I could trigger her in little doses so that I could talk with her and calm her down. So if you're sitting there right now thinking I'll always be fat or that it's hopeless, I can't lose weight. I just want to be the person who tells you, I really do believe it's possible. I know you don't believe it yet, but I don't don't think that means that it's not true for you that you could lose weight. And I get it because not believing feels like shit.

I lived that life. I've helped a lot of women who don't believe it. It doesn't feel good, but it doesn't mean that just because you don't believe right now that you can't try again. Again, nobody who's lost weight believed on day one. I didn't. And most of the women I help didn't. We tried when we were scared shitless and we just went about proving ourselves wrong. So you don't need to believe you can lose weight. But what I want you to understand is that what's led you to not believe in yourself is you have done a lot of diets that haven't really helped you with that internal crisis that's happening. It is an internal crisis. If you're an asshole to yourself, if you feel guilty when you take care of you, which leads you to always self-sacrificing for everybody else in your life, that's a crisis.

There are so many things going on inside of us that we're eating over, and it's really important that you have someone to help you with it because you deserve a better life than just trying to remove food, which is your coping mechanism. And then it leaves you somebody who doubts all the time, yells at herself all the time, who commands herself all the time, who doesn't know how to set boundaries in her life, who is so busy taking care of everybody else, that she never has anything left over for her except eating. You deserve to figure this stuff out because you just deserve a better life. So you don't have to believe in yourself today, I promise you. And you don't have to stop every overeat in order to lose your weight, and you don't have to do everything right in order to start losing weight.

But you have to try differently than you ever have before. And the difference is what we talked about today. You have to become someone who doesn't catastrophize when you overeat. You have to be nice when you're being mean to yourself. You've got to quit quitting in the moments when you're being a bitch to yourself. You've got to learn how to keep going when everything in you screams, you can't do this, you have to get help when in the past you've been trying to do it on your own because you don't want to waste your family's money and stuff. It's like, look, you have to be, a lot of women I work with, they have to become someone who doesn't try to shoulder everybody's problems, worries, anxieties or responsibilities on their back, while also trying to cut out the one way food that they get through their life.

So we have to become someone who doesn't shoulder the world's problems, where we know what parts we should take on and which parts we can safely let go. Now, I know that all of this, it may sound great. You're like, oh God, yeah, this is exactly what I need to do. I got to quit being a bitch. I got to be better at making mistakes. I got to quit expecting perfectionism, you know, need to fix this shit. And for a minute you're probably going to feel good, motivated, fired up. People tell me they ride in and they're like, woo, that podcast, woo, that one you just did fires you up. And here's what I also know. Most of y'all who hang out on this podcast end up telling me this, Corin, everything you say is making some sense. I love it. So why am I not doing it?

And I'm going to tell you why. It's because you're not surrounded by it. The podcast is really good for learning, but it's just me being able to introduce you to the things that you need to solve. I'm giving you lots of things to think about, some stuff to do, but here's what you can't do in the podcast ever. You don't get to get help. You get some motivation, you get some direction, at least tell you where to quit wasting your fucking money. You can't ask questions in the podcast. I can't talk back to you. You can't talk to me. You can't talk to one of our weight loss coaches, our real ass humans doing the Lord's work every day inside an OBS. You can't go into our Facebook group and see other people solving the problems you're solving, and that gives you hope. It gives you direction, it gives you something to look at and try to emulate.

You can't ask for other people to help you to figure out what's truly stopping you. And that is what we do inside an OBS. We take all this shit you keep hearing in the podcast, that next level, we talk to you about what's going on. We figure out what is the unique things in your life that make it hard so that we can remove some of it, think about it in a different way, or at least give you different approaches. And we help you apply all this shit that you learn here to your unique life because we're giving you support, the tools, the community, to be able to do this for the first time, maybe in your entire life where you lose all of your weight and you get to be one of my people who are still in my program saying, girl, I've been with you two or three years.

I've already lost all my weight, but I ain't leaving because you the damn best therapy I've ever had. So if you're tired of just listening to the podcast, agreeing with everything, loving what you hear, but not seeing yourself really lose the weight, maybe you've lost some weight and you're stuck on a plateau, it's probably time for you to just go ahead and join us inside no BS because we just do it different in there. And I promise you are not going to regret it if you ever join me. All right y'all, you have a good week and I'll talk to you soon.