"I just knew my husband would leave me because I was so overweight. He never said anything to me, but all day long, all I could hear in my head is, you're gonna lose your husband."

That voice of shame controlled my life - and today I'm opening up about it in "The Reality of Losing 100 Pounds."

I recently sat down with podcaster Wendi Francis to share my story - the good, the bad, and everything in between. And what it really took for me to lose my weight, like:

• Finally understanding weightloss isn't about the food
• Knowing how to keep going when motivation disappears (and it will)
• Why guilt was sabotaging my weightloss more than any food ever could

When I lost 100 pounds 16 years ago, it wasn't hard-core diets or killer workouts that got me there. It was fixing my relationship with myself.

Ready to hear the unfiltered truth about what it takes to lose weight and keep it off?

The diet industry wants you to believe that all you need is the right food list and a shit-ton of discipline. But what you actually need is to understand why you're eating in the first place.

Hello everybody. Welcome back. Today I want to share a conversation I had recently with Wendy Francisabout how to finally break free from the cycle of dieting and overeating, and it was such a goodconversation, I just really wanted you to have it. Someof the things we talked about were why weightloss isn't just about the food. If we don't start rewiring our mindset, if we don't start working on howwe're talking to ourselves, we are going to be screwed. When it comes to weight loss, you're never goingto be able to cut out enough food to override a shitty ass mindset. We also talked about why motivationtends to fade for a lot of us. I know that that is one of the things y'all write in all the time. What do youdo when your motivation tanks? And so we talk about it, we talk about why it does, but moreimportantly, we really talked about how to keep going in those moments when life does throw you offand the motivation goes straight to the toilet.We also covered how little small changes definitely do outpace all or nothing approaches. I bet if youlook back over the history of every diet you've ever done, you probably did a 180 and it ended up notworking or you would not be here listening to this podcast. So we talk in a very real way about how tothinkabout the small changes so that you're not always trapped in the cycle of, well, that's not going tobe good enough. And then the last thing that we talk about is why guilt is one of the number onereasons why women are not losing weight. It's crazy. We feel guilty about what we eat. We feel guilty ifwe take time for ourselves. We feel guilty for saying no to something. Even though we want to loseweight and somebody's offering us food, we feel guilty for hurting their feelings about not eating.Women areriddled with the guilt, and so we talk about that also. So I want you to sit back. I want you toenjoy this conversation with Wendy, and if you love this conversation, make sure you check out Wendyand that you share this with a friend. Y'all don't sit there and keep the goods all to yourself. If we'regoing to have a no BS movement in this world where we are going to kill the diet industry and actuallyhelp women lose weight for the last time, y'all got to be sharing it with your girlfriends. Enjoy this week'spodcast.Hey everyone. Welcome to another edition of Overcoming Your Emotional Eating. And I am reallyexcited today. I've been doing interviews for years now. I love doing interviews mainly because I lovetalking to people. I like to hear stories. Ilike to hear how people have overcome what they had becomeand moved it into a different dimension, and today is no different. I have today with me CorinneCrabtree, and she's an amazing woman. She's a master certified weight and life coach, and she's gotamission to help women overcome their weight loss struggles. She lost a hundred pounds 16 years agoand ever since she's dedicated her life to teaching other women how to do the same. We're going to talka lot more about that in just a few minutes. Corinne Crabtree is one of the leading voices in the weightloss industry. She's a host of the wildly successful podcast Losing a hundred Pounds with Corinne, whichhas been downloaded over 50 million times in 160 countries.Over 1 million women have taken her free weight loss course, and Corinne now serves over 11,000 paidmembers in the No BS weight loss program. I love that title. No BS Weight Loss was named one ofAmerica's fastest growing privately owned companies by Inc. In 2022 and 2023. You can catch Corinneon Facebook and Instagram taking shit out about the diet industry. Her greatest passion is helpingwomen get rid of the old poopy thoughts, but we could say shitty because Corinne likes that word, and Ilike saying that with her thoughts by using self-love to never quit on themselves again. I love thatCorinne, and thank you so much for joining me.Yeah, I'm glad to be here. I always like talking to anybody who is on the mission to help women with thatemotional eating component, the most important component we can get ahold of.Yeah, yeah. I read about your story on your website. I'd love to hear more about that. I love theemotional side obviously as my passion is the psychology. I've got the clinical background and then meld. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage2of11it with that psychologicalbackground. But I love story because I think it brings context to who we are,what we became, and then what we use that to drive us towards our purpose moving forward. So canyou tell me a little bit about how you got here?Yeah. When I was a kid, I grewup with a really poor broke single mother and a little brother, and wewere in the eighties and just like when you're broke ass, you're going to eat the drive-through all thetime. And by the time I was nine, I was really having struggles with my weight. My brother was justnaturally thin. He could eat a hamburger every damn meal and not gain weight. Me, I could just look at aburger and put on 10 pounds at the age of nine. So all the way through my childhood, I was veryoverweight. I was the biggest kid inclass every single year. I was bullied relentlessly about my weight,struggled really bad in my high school years, had severe depression, really struggling with my weight.Again, I just never could get a grip on it, and it was just a lot of my mom couldn't really do better for usnutritionally, but when I look back on it, she was really struggling just herself trying to raise two kidswith no education, minimum wage jobs, working around the clock, and I'm sure she did a lot ofemotional eating and I thinkit passed it on to me.She and I would sit and eat at night to feel better to wash off the day. She didn't know really how to helpme with kids that were bullying me other than, well, let's go get ice cream, let's go order pizza,whatever. Then in my twenties, I continued to battle with my weight and then finally I ended up meetingmy husband. We get married and we decide immediately to have a baby, and I just knew this was it. Thisgoing to be great. And I have this kid, and when he turned one, I was probably at the worst mental stateof my life. I had suffered with depression most of my life, but I didn't really know I had postpartum, but Iam sure that's what I was going through. And I just remember hating my life, wondering what I'd done,taking care. Iloved my kid, but I hated my life and he was high needs.He ended up being diagnosed with autism. I didn't even know how. We knew it was rough. We didn'tknow why it was rough. And so every night my husband would come home and he would take the babybecause I'd be crying or I'd be miserable or whatever, and I'd go straight to ice cream and I would eatjust out of the half a gallon either till it hit the bottom or whatever. And for me, I was eating for severalreasons. One, I felt guilty for not liking my life. There was all this shame around, you should love being astay at home mom. And I was like, this is the worst damn thing that's ever happened to me. I just knewmy husband would leave me because I was so overweight. I was well over two 50 at that point.He neversaid anything to me, but all day long, all I could hear in my head is, you're going to lose your husband.You're going to have to do this all on your own, just like your mother. There was just this hypotheticalhealth situation happening all daylong and then just feeling just bad period that I couldn't get my shittogether. Just the general malaise of not feeling good enough. And so this one day, my kid is just playingin the floor and he toddles on over to me and he hands me something and he's wanting to play and it'slike 10 in the morning. And I remember saying, so clearly mommy's too tired to play. I was just laid outon the couch. It was not because I was doing so much stuff, I just was emotionally done and I juststarted crying. My mother had said that, she'd said that to me thousands of times growing up,AndMy mother was too fucking tired. I just was miserable. Just in that moment I was like, you are becomingeverything you said you would never do, and you don't even have the excuses your mother had. And sothat night my husband comes home and I was in the deter and he said, what is wrong with you? And Iwas like, I don't know what's going to change, but something has to and it's got to start today. And sothe next day I started with a walkand I just decided I'm going to lose this weight. I'm going to figure outhow to get my shit together and I'm not ever going to do this ever again. That was when I really kickedoff my weight loss journey. It was just a thousand little steps. I did everything very different than I'd everdone before, but I never want another woman to have a rock bottom moment to get started like me.. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage3of11But I feel like that day was my rock bottom. Just eventually my life's misery was outweighing the miseryof giving up my ice cream or the eating I was doing. And so once I lost weight, I just decided I was goingto help as many women do the same thing. I was like, there's got to be a better way.Good for you. I love that because I think so often those stop start points, that's what that was. We couldcall it rock bottom. It's a point where we stop doing something to start doing another thing. And whenwe have those moments, they can create an enormous amount of energy and what I call passion to fuelyou into purpose. And I love that it did that for you because it sounds like that's realistically what it didto shape your life.Yeah, it was just a big day. I'll never forget it. I think what made this time different though is I refused togo on a diet. I'd always done a 180. I wouldtake, like you said, the passion or the momentum of themoment, and I would just try to suddenly be exercising every day of the week and I go from sitting onthe couch to, it's got to be an hour and give up all my favorite foods. And when I started, I justtoldmyself, you are not in the mental shape to do a 180. The one thing I couldn't afford was to let myselfdown again. And I just knew that anything that I had to do had to be so simple and so little that I couldjust keep, it just made sense to me thatthe most important thing I could do was set myself up to be ableto keep going, not to set myself up, to struggle to keep going. So a lot of little changes, and for me, thatwas the most impactful thing was take the passion and turn it into very doable steps. Don't take thepassion and turn it into my hair is on fire and I got to run in the opposite direction.Right, right. Absolutely. Do you remember some of those little steps that you took?Oh yeah. The very first one was walking. I knew I was just layingaround all day, and I also, at that point, Ireally knew that if I made a lot of changes in food, that there was going to be a problem. When I lookback on it in the moment, I was not a life coach back then. I didn't even read self-help books. I mean, Iwas reading Harry Potter at best. I was not into all of this stuff that I am now, but when I look back,there was a, I don't know if you want to call it an intuitive sense, but it was just like I just kind of knewwhat my boundaries and my limits were goingto be. And I remember thinking I wasn't ready to give upthe food, so I had to figure out what was I ready for, because at that point that ice cream and everythingI ate was serving a purpose, and unless I was going to be able to replace whatever need itwas filling forme immediately, I'd just be miserable.I wouldn't have my coping mechanism and I'd still have my load of shit barreling down on me. So Istarted with walking because I thought, there's no reason why a grown ass woman can't walk 15minutes aday. And if I had to walk around my house for 15 minutes, I was like, we got to start withsomething. And I started there and it was good for me because I told my husband, I want to go to thegym and walk. I knew at that point when I was looking, I was athome all day. My son, we really couldn'tgo places. He didn't do well in the car and he got overstimulated real easy, and if I did take himsomeplace, I had to carry him. He wouldn't. Most kids would sit in a stroller, not him. He had to be heldall the things. And if I tried to take him places because I was so out of shape, I just couldn't walk aroundwith an extra 20 pounds. I already had an extra hundred. I didn't even know another 20 tacked on.And so I'd go to the gym and I always tell people it was the hardest thing to do because walking 15minutes wasn't that hard. It was the shame of walking in wearing my husband's clothes given up onmyself, and I didn't have workout clothes. It was the shame of worrying what everybody would think ofme. So I had to overcome that. It was the guilt for leaving at night. It took me a while to not feel guiltyabout my husband would work all day, and then the second he got home, I'm like, well, I'm going to goto the gym and do something for myself. So I always tell women, going from zero to one will always beyour hardest step, not just trying to get started with something new. You are overcoming yourself inthat moment. Everything you believe, everything you think about yourself, you're having to scale thatwall.. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage4of11And so I always think I'm just so glad I started with walking because I could baby step my way intoovercoming things I was afraid of and shame and fear, and it taught me to try other things. But that'swhere I started. And then after that, it was just a series. Literally when I say tiny things, I mean it withmy ice cream. I remember one day thinking, we are not eating out of this carton. I don't care if I got amixing bowl and I put the ice cream in it. We were going to eat ice cream out of a bowl, not out ofacarton, and that's all you get. We're not going to go back for more. So I would load up, I mean, it wasprobably almost the same amount I was eating,ButThe behavior was changing, the insight into it was changing. Then I did the same thing with going out toeat. I remember the first time we went to IHOP and I was like, I am not going to get butter on mypancakes. That's what I'm going to do. And it was just little changes like that, and then they added upand they added up. Yeah,First of all, I love everything that you said because what you did is really a self-assessment to understandwhat you could and couldn't do.AndI think so often women and men too jump in and they just, I'm to do it all.And there really isn't a recognition of really what are mylimitations? What can I handle and what Ihandle? Can I handle exercise or can I not? There's some women with severe body trauma that I workwith that just can't move their body. It's so scary. So we start with food, right? But you did what youcould do and you focused on what you could do as opposed to the whole package, which sometimesthen you wind up with things that you can't do, and then there's the undermining and the underpinning,and then people go backwards. Exactly. So I love that you focused onwhat you could do and then juststarted there, whichIs, yeah, it was just really important for me. I just kind of knew that if I made mistakes back in the day, Iknew how hard I would be on myself. And so it just made sense to try to limit the mistakes. Ijust wasgoing to need a softer place to land. So I just tried to do stuff where I was like, it will be really hard foryou to screw this up, and if you do, I would always tell myself, now if we do, we're going to figure outwhat we got to do next. But Itried to make sure that everything was always where I was at currently,and it really did help me because, and I've told so many women this in the very beginning, you needmomentum so bad. And most of us, when we start with everything, we think we have momentum.We really don't. We just have a shock and awe moment. We're kind of riding the newness wave, we'redoing all that, but we really haven't created rock solid Good. I'm changing how I believe about myself,momentum, and for me, all my little changes were every day giving me drips and drops of proof that youcan do more than you think. Sometimes you thought this would be hard, this was easier than youthought it might be. I remember when I was first going and taking my walks, it was hard, but I rememberit only took about a week before I started thinking, this hasn't been near as bad as I thought it was goingto be. All the years I didn't walk and I didn't go to the gym. I didn't do those things. My mind's storyabout it was so huge. You would've thoughtI was going to go climb Mount Kilimanjaro when I was justgoing to go get on the wise treadmill for 15 minutes. And then once I did it and I proved to myself,sometimes what you think is going to happen really doesn't,It just kind of opened the door to like, well, maybe this next thing I'm going to try, it probably isn't goingto be nearly as dramatic as I sometimes make it out to be, so let's just try it. My willingness grew, myability to gig, curious grew my willingness to even just try the little things. Just literally when it comes toemotional eating, I try to tell people all the time, you die by a thousand cuts. You grow by a thousandsmall changes. Most people just think of weight loss as this big epic event, and it's like there are so many. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage5of11things we've got to change, so we might as well just start with 'em one by one. I could talk about smallchanges all day.Yeah, no, and I think it's undervalued really. I think that small changes are radically undervalued. I thinkour culture, our country goes forthe big bang,And the reality is there's probably only five to 8% of people in their weight loss journey that can do thebig bang, that can do the overhaul. I've worked with people that can, and there's a certain personalityconstruct that I can give allthe changes to, and they can do it and they can sustain it, but it is theminority and not the majority. So I absolutely agree with you. I think we undervalue small step changesand the progress and momentum because you've hit on so many things that I think are really importantthat I want people to hear. The reality is when we get to a place and a point that we can't trust ourselvesand that we don't have confidence and self-esteem, you can't just flip that overnight.ThatIs years of buildup of not following through for what we said we were going to do for ourselves. And sothere is a breakdown of self-trust and you have to small step your way back to getting to a place and apoint that you go, huh, I actually am doing this for me. I trust me, that is monumental because withoutthat, you can't do anything. We just don't know that we can't do anything like that. And weight loss isone of those things. If you don't trust yourself to be able to take care of your body, to be able to eat inthe way that you wantto or not eat in the way that you want to, we fall. We can't sustain becausethere's no confidence, there's no esteem, no self-trust. So you building upon that in that way was soimpactful.Yeah, there's one thing that I teach my women, especially when itcomes to the small changes, I thinkthe number one obstacle to overcome in terms of just excuses or reasons is it's not good enough. And Ialways tell 'em when we're saying something isn't good enough, it's because we deep down believewe're not good enough to do it. And I always tell 'em, you do not get to think something's not goodenough until you've tried it for at least 30 days. You need to earn the right to say that that change wasnever good enough. So many of us, we just assume everything. We thinkit's like the gospel from theBible. It's just been handed down to us, and I'm like, your brain is such a liar. It doesn't know shit aboutanything. And so I always tell my members, if you think a step is not good enough, then you giveyourself the not good enough challenge. I will prove in 30 days of doing this thing that I think won'tcount, won't matter, shouldn't make a difference, whatever. It's like you give yourself 30 days of doingthat, not good enough crap, and let's just see what happens.IDida spontaneous challenge with 'em last year. I was on a coaching call where I talked to them back andforth and stuff in a big group setting, and the third person in a row came on telling me, if I do this, itwon't be good enough. And I went on a tear on that call. I was like, for 30 days, you're all going to dothis challenge. We just made it up on the fly and so many women lost five pounds that month. They'relike, I have been sitting around just telling myself this, not challenging it, not even questioning if that'seven true. And I'm like, just prove some of this stuff. So many of us don't try things simply because ourbrain will offer one dissenting thought.AndWe're like, well, I can't do that. It's like prove. Earn the right to believe something.Don'tSit there and just believe because it's been told to you. And we wouldn't do that in real life. If somebodywalked up to us with some harebrained idea of what we should do with our life and say, this is what you. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage6of11should do. You wouldn't be like, well, yousaid it. I guess it must be true. I'm going to go quit my job.Quit right now, and yet we'll live our lives that way. Just let our brain make up any kind of bullshit storyit wants. And I'm like, just challenge some of your thoughts. And that's what I mean. Honestly, that's theonly reason why ended up losing my weight was I was just on a mission from the get of like, oh my gosh,you've thought like crap for years. We got to figure out a way to think differently. I always tell myclients, I was like GeorgeCostanza in Seinfeld, there was an episode where George just does oppositeday and his life took off. I was like, it was kind of like me when it came to losing weight. I was like,everything that I would normally do, I was like, Nope, we're going to do itthis way. And then weight losstook off.Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn't that funny? So many people think that weight loss is about changing your body,but it really is about changing your mind and your psychology and your body follows. That's really thetruth because for so many people, it's not a body problem. Not to say that there isn't physiologicalchallenges, whether it be insulin resistance, leptin resistance, ghrelin, insufficient. I mean, I could go onand on with the physiological components that can happen for somebody who gains weight. But thereality is it really is about challenging your mind, challenging what you believe and recognizing thatsomething, anything is better than nothing.And I really like, because I get both sides of the argument, and Ialways tell my people, again, earn theright to know that you have a physiological problem. You could be working on that side, but if you areeating over your weight, we don't know if you have a physiological problem yet. And I just tell 'em,there's twomajor benefits that come out of working on emotional eating. Number one is when youwork on your emotional eating, you just get to feel better because if we're plugging the holes of whyyou're eating, that means your life is leveling up. Your life is getting better.Just like when Logan was little all the years, especially after he got diagnosed with autism, that I felt likea bad mother that I felt like I was doing, this was my fault. I'm raising him wrong. I must not be a goodmother. I had such a terrible story around my child and ate over it for the first few years of his life whenI started really digging into, are you really that bad of a mother? And I started telling myself, Rin, allmothers have moments. Suddenly I don't feel like a bad mom anymore.I have compassion where I'vebeen feeling guilt, where I've been feeling depression and things. So I always say the first big benefit ofworking on emotional eating is when you tackle the real problems of your life, you get a better life outof it. And then the second big thing about working on emotional eating is you really do rewire your selfconcept. It's like, I've just never met anyone who, when they work on their emotional eating doesn'tcome out on the other side, more confident, changed perspective,a stronger woman, she's able to takecare of everyone around her even better. It's got so many positive benefits to it.But I always like to tell my people, if you're emotionally eating, you may or may not have a physiologicalproblem, but so many womenjust want to go to that. And I'm like, well, let's say we clear up yourghrelin issues and stuff. Let's say that all someone did for me back in the day was help me lose weightthrough, let's just say I was insulin resistant. Then I would be sitting arounda thin guilt-ridden, upset,depressed, low self-esteem mom, because no one would've worked with me on that. And so I alwaysthink it's like, it's all of it. We can't cut either one out. But so many of my people who thought they hadphysical issues, when they work on that emotionally, they're like, oh my gosh. All these years I've beencutting out gluten and trying to do keto and doing a grapefruit diet. I've been doing all these thingswhen the whole time I was just filling my body with food because I couldn't fill my body with love. Andthat's why I'm always telling people, you got to work on the emotional component. No one gets freepass on that side.It's true. I mean, when we feel bad about ourselves, we do bad things to ourselves. That is the truth. Soyou have to be able to learn how to feel good in your body to learn how to feel good about yourself.. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage7of11There's so many components to the journey. And if you don't fulfill that, you won't really fulfill anythingwithout food. You just can't because there's somany different purposes for why people eat. And eachperson I work with, each person you work with has radically different purposes and intentions foreating, understanding what they are, and then filling them with real things. And then enabling yourselfto take in your own self love and the love around you is really what will elevate you to the next level oflife. And therefore then you can leave the weight behind because you no longer need the food.Right, exactly.Was there anything, any one thing thatreally surprised you about your weight loss journey that youwere like, wow, I never thought that would happen, or Huh, why was that?Well, there's been a lot, honestly. One, I mean, if you grew up like me, number one broke with anuneducated mother alwayshaving a weight problem, you really don't think you're going to have a realsuccessful weight loss business one day. That's probably the most surprising thing was that I didn't go tocollege. I didn't do those things. I had a rough twenties. I was a literal hot mess garbage truck on firerunning down a ravine the whole twenties. And so I think for me, just the ability to not only lose theweight, but then figure out a way to help other people do the same,That was surprising. I would say the other big surprise is it really improved my relationship with my son. Ididn't realize how much working on me was going to help him. When you have a kid who's got autism,they don't understand a lot of things like we get. They don't model like other people and stuff. Andworking on myself and really figuring out why did I lose weight? What was happening in my brain?When I first started helping my clients, I wanted to understand why was I able to do this? I knew what Idid, but I never could really explain it. So I juststarted studying and studying what was happening for meso I could teach my people the same thing.And never realized how important it would be because I had to teach my son how to think, how to feel,how to do those things. And had I not went through my own weight loss journey, I didn't know how tofeel. I didn't know the difference between what I was thinking and what was real in life. And so that wasprobably, those are probably the two biggest impacts for me was just the ability to be able to figure outwhat happened to me and then teach other women to do the same, but really understanding moreabout how you feel and stuff. To be able to teach someone who doesn't know how to do that at all andpass that down. In fact, I would say that's number one. He'spretty much the reason why I do everything,get real emotional when I talk about him. But I lost weight for him. I didn't want him to have the samestruggles that I had. I knew that I was to just not an engaged mom. I had to change that. There was justsomuch. And then when I built my business, a big driver was I want other women to feel this way and Ineed to be able to take care of my kid. He's not cheating. He couldn't go to public school. He couldn't,We didn't know if he was ever going to be able to take care of himself. We had to figure out a way to,for me personally, I had to figure out a way to leave him a legacy to make sure he could be cared forafter I've gone. So my story's probably a little different than most women when they say, these are thethings that happened, but that's the two. And it's important, I think, for other women to hear this too,because our weight becomes such a limiting factor in our life, and it's not because we are overweight,it's because we put so much pressure on ourselves because of what we weigh, because of what we looklike, because of our size and stuff. And I just always like to tell women, stop letting your weight hold youback. Work on your life. And when you work on your life, the weight will be what it's going to be. I haveso many people that come into our membership and they think they want to lose X amount of poundsand they get 70, 80% there, and then they'll come on a call and say like, I'm just genuinely happy. I don'tknow that I want to lose more weight.But I said, I would lose this much weight. And I'm like, justbecause you said you would do that doesn't mean we should do that.. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage8of11You never said, I want to weigh this. I always tell women this, no one ever wants to lose weight. Theywant to lose weight so they can something, feel this, think this, believe that, do these things. If you'realready doing all the, so thats, if that's already happened for you, then the number's, the number. Nowwe just got to get used to that. And a lot of my clients have, I'm always so proud of 'em when they'rewilling to let go of a goal that the broken part of them set. I'm like, she didn't have perspective. Shethought that number equaled all this. You have learned through losing weight that all of this camebecause youChangedAnd whatever number you landed on, let's fall in love with that.Yeah, we don't see a number. I mean, I tell my clients this all the time, right? Whether I'm working withsomeone with anorexia, bulimia or overeating, I don't walk up to someone, I didn'tget on this call withyou today and go, oh, you're about one blah, blah, blah. Or we don't know anybody's number. What wedo know is do their eyes light up when they smile? What we do know is do they talk with vigor andpassion? What we do know is do theycarry themselves with confidence? That's what we know. Wedon't know a number. So stop fixating on it and start focusing on what matters most, who you areinternally, how you are physiologically and how you are psychologically. That's really what matters themost. So I love that you say that. So question and comment and thought. You mentioned somethingthat, and you've mentioned it a number of times, so I want to highlight it.I really feel like it's very important, particularly for women and mothers, because what you had to dowas really important. And I think it's the hardest spot for a mom when moms have to recognize thatthey have to put themselves first so that they can run the race kind of ahead of their child, so then theycan pull their child up. Most moms, I think, fall behind to try and be the support system to push the childforward. So I need to be home all the time, so when they come home from school, I can do this. I needto dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, so I can be there to support them. And the truth is we have to maintain ourown individuality and we have to be the best version of ourselves in order to get them where they needto be. And there is guilt that comes along with that. And there is no way I have found to tackle thatexcept, but to face it and walk through it like you did when you would leave to go to the gym and yougo, okay, I am going to feel guilt and I'm going to do it anyway.And I think so often as moms, we think that somehow magically that guilt's going to disappear. And it'snot because I think as soon as good luck. Yeah. I think as soon as that baby is incepted in your womb,there is some weird gene guilt, gene genetic mutation that occurs for every mom I have ever met of likeyou just get guilt for everything, so it's not going to go away. I think so many women try to hide from itor sneak around it. No, it's there because you're a mom. It's there for a reason. You can hold it, but youcan still push through it. And I love that you mentioned that because I think so often we don'ttalk aboutthat as moms, and we don't help each other move through that guilt and recognize you're not doinganything bad by you going to the gym.I mean, okay, listen, moms, if you're doing something really bad, we'll talk where you're really, but youwere going to the gym, and so we know that that was to enable you to be a healthier mom, to havemore energy to play with him more, to stand up to the challenges that you guys had, et cetera. Sostanding up to your guilt and moving through it was really important for your journey. And I find that it'sreally important for all moms journeys with their weight and honestly just in life sometimes. But to beable to know that you feel the guilt and it's okay, and you can still move through it because it's not thereserving you.Yeah. One thing I usually I tell my clients is because I agree with you, there are just a host of negativeemotions that come along for the ride. No matter, I don't care if you are like me, a master certified and. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage9of11coached thousands of peoplein all the things, I still have the most asinine feelings every single day justlike anybody else. So I think when we come to just a meta level of accepting, there are just negativefeelings that happen, but when it comes to guilt, the first thing, and yousaid something really good,which is we're all going to have it. This is part of it. So now what, because I think too many people railagainst trying not to have negative emotions. And the way I always look at, especially with guilt, is youwant to feel guilty because the moment you need it, what you don't want to do is never feel guilty, andthen you're just an asshole. We forget that guilt serves a major purpose.Really does. It keeps us in line. Exactly. You're right. Yeah. Guilt is there for a reason.Shame is not, butguilt is to keep us in line in life. You're right. Yep.It's like, well, I even think shame has a, this is how I always think about feelings. Every feeling is alwayshas a purpose. We just want to make sure it's not running amok where it's not there for the reason itneeds to be. So if you're digging into shame, shame is a very useful feeling. It helps you change yourrelationship with yourself. You start knowing when you're feeling shame for a not good reason. Now, if Idecided to show upfor this call topless, you would probably hope that I would have shame. Even shamehas a purpose at times. But what I think our problem is, is that we have all of these normal feelings thathave a very central role in our life. They are the guardrails oflife, disappointment, shame, guilt, anger,they're all guardrails. If you didn't feel angry, no one would stand up to dictators.We to think about on the big level. Our problem though is we live in a very modern world. Our brain wasgiven all of these emotions so that back when we were evolving in caves and crap, we knew how to havesome kind of social order. We knew how to keep ourselves safe. It had a very lifesaving quality. We don'thave that world anymore, but our emotions, our nervous systems, and ourbrains operate as if we do. Sonow what we have is the fake ass problems everywhere running amuck. I'm going to the gym. I must bethe worst mother ever. If you are leaving your baby in the car on a hot day, feel guilty like the worstmother ever going tothe gym while your partner takes care of your child, or even if you put them in thegym daycare after they've been in a daycare all day. I have a friend who is a hairdresser. She works allday, works so hard, love her to death. She's got three kids and she works long hours. And when she getsthem babies from daycare a few days a week, she wants to go to the gym. Otherwise she's with thebabies or with clients all the time. And so she was telling me about how guilty she feels when she takesthem in there. Isaid, well, what's happening to them though?IWas like, just tell me exactly what's happening. Her kids actually like it. She was like, tell me about howthey look forward to it, and because it's got a play land on the inside and they love the people andeverything. I was like, so why are you feeling guilty?AndShe was like, well, I should spend more time with them. I said, sounds to me like you shouldn't having adamn good time. So just showing her that stuff, we just need to get used to. We are going to feel thesefeelings. It goes back to earn the right to know that this is a warranted feeling. If you go to the gym for amonth and your child every day cries and says, I can't stand every moment. You're away from me. Ireally feel like my life is turninginto a tragedy. Then maybe you as a mom are like, this is not the season,but 99% of us are not having that situation. We start doing things for ourselves. No one actually gives ashit. No one's really noticing. No one's hardly complaining. People are slightly uncomfortable new. Thenthey get used to it, and then that becomes the reality. And we don't give ourselves enough opportunityto see is half of what I'm feeling and thinking even real. Stop operating your life off of this fake shit andstay miserable because of it.Because. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage10of11You've got two choices. You can stay miserable doing it the way you're doing it, or you can go, let's justuse the gym as, or you can go to the gym and be miserable for a couple of weeks to see if it's evenwarranted either way. Ifyou're going to be miserable, at least do the miserable thing that has a decentpayoff.Right? Right. Absolutely. And I like that you say that because I do think that we have to recognize you'vegot to challenge it somewhere. And I like that you give it.I'm always telling clients, we need toexperiment, so let's just experiment for 21 days. Let's just take an experiment because you've got tochallenge it. So you put it in a timeframe, and then you really get to decide is it working, is it not? Is itreal?Is it not? Is it true? Is it not true? So I like that you do that because I think that that's real for us torecognize. Yeah, there may be some pain points at the very beginning, but you've got to give it a lengthof time because nothing changes overnight, and you've got to sustain it for a bit of time. So I really lovethat you mentioned that as well.Corin,Go ahead. No,Go ahead. I was just going to say, I think some moms also just need to question this idea that we justassume when we do things for ourselves, that we are putting ourselves first and being selfish. And Ialways look at my mothers and I say, why would you ever number one say, I'm putting myself first? Ifthe only thing that it ever makes you think is I'm a bad person because of it, I always tell 'em, if you'renot ready to put yourself first, can we at least get you somewhere on the list? We got to startsomeplace. It goes back to those small changes. I tell 'em, what is one safe thing you could do that youreally know? Logically no one would get harmed, but you're back on your list. You are at least getting tothe point to where you're leveling the playing field a little. Sometimes we have to create little bits ofevidence just to knock a hole in the story we have, because a lot of, I findjust so much of women, wejust have so much social conditioning around what a good mother looks like andHow we should be as a woman and all this other crap that it's hard for most women to hear thestatement, you got to take care of you first, because they immediately associate that with being selfish.And I'm like,Eventually you find out that when you take care of you, everyone does benefit. But most women in thebeginning never believe that. And if you don't believe it from the beginning, then we got tostart withwhat you can believe or you'll never get to the new one. I now, I really do know that when I take reallygood care of me, my whole family benefits. And if I'm not taking care of me, I can see it. Everybody'sgoing to suffer. I'm short tempered,I am all the things, but it took me years to figure that out, and nowit makes sense to me and I believe it, but it's because I experienced it. So I always like to tell women,don't worry about believing the big picture stuff. Where can we start today? We've got to get you on theroad. We got to get you on the road to the big picture. And if that just starts with what can we do thatgets you back on the list, let's just start right there.Yep. Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, I always tell people self first doesn't mean selfish. That's amazing. That'sthe truth. So I've had a lot of reconditioning around that word. It is my nemesis. I have a few words thatare my nemesis. That is the singular first one is selfish, because I don't believe that if we are puttingourself first, that we are selfish. We're just putting ourself first for a little while.SoYeah, I don't believe that at all. I like that you meet women where they're at with that and that you startto make changes in that because that sends a ripple effect.I really, I am into ripple effects. I think themore that women can pull themselves up by their bootstraps and start to feel good about themselves,. This transcript was exported on Apr 17, 2025-view latest versionhere.421-final (Completed 04/17/25)Transcript byRev.comPage11of11the more other women do it and other women do it, and we've got to change a whole culture aroundthat. Butthat's a whole story for another day.That is the truth.Yep, yep. So tell me, Corin, before we wrap up, where can we find you? What have you got out there?Give me an idea of where my listeners can plug into you.So I have my podcast Losing 100 pounds with Corrine. It's the easiest way to hear me in your ear. Thebest way to stay long-term in touch with me is to go to no bs weight weightloss.com. I've got a freecourse that over the million people have been through, but it's about getting you on the path to weightloss. But it starts with three little simple changes and they're very mindset driven. It's a little actionable,but it's more about here's the action and here's why we do this. This will make sense to you when youdo this. Now you can kind of seethis must be the path to losing weight. And it's just common sense. Itell people all the time, I didn't go to college, but boy, I got a PhD in common sense. Definitely. I lovethat. HelpSomebody with that. I love that. A PhD in common sense. No bs. weightloss.com. Corin Crab tea. Thankyou so much for joining me today. I really, really appreciate you.Thank you.