Updated: January 9, 2024

Episode 348: How to Stop at Enough

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Episode 348 How to Stop at Enough

Are you curious how we tackle “stopping at enough” inside the No BS Membership?

The answer is “hell yes!” based on what you said you wanted to hear more about when I asked on Instagram. (Follow me HERE for more real-life weightloss tips and tricks).

So today, I’m sharing a sneak peek into two recent weightloss calls with No BS members who are struggling with stopping at enough.

And that’s normal. We don’t call stopping at enough “the Bigfoot of No BS” for nothing.

Finding your “enough” can be frustrating, especially when you’re used to overeating. And stopping when you’ve found it can bring up all kinds of emotions.

Because blowing past your enough cues has nothing to do with your body. Your body often knows it’s had enough… but you don’t listen because your mind isn’t ready to be done eating.

And this is the type of work we do in No BS: uncovering why it’s hard for you to stop at enough and discovering easy, effective methods for how to do it anyway. One day, it’ll get easier. But today, if it’s not, we can help.

Listen to Episode 348: How to Stop at Enough for a sneak peek into how I help women just like you who struggle with overeating. I help them find solutions so they can continue to lose weight for the last damn time.

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds each week. I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.
(00:38):
Hello everybody. Welcome back. So today what we’re going to do is I am going to play you or give you two sneak peeks inside the membership on stopping at enough. Like a few weeks ago we asked on my Instagram account, if you’re not following me, you should be Corinne, C-O-R-I-N-N, Crabtree, C-R-A-B-T-R-E-E. So make sure you’re following me on Instagram, but in our stories, I had asked everybody what would you love to hear about in the podcast? And one of the things that kept coming up was, can you talk more about stopping at enough? And so what I did was I went through a recent coaching call inside our membership where I was coaching on lots of different topics, but twice stopping at enough came up where our members were thinking about, well, how do I do it? Are there new ways to do it? And they were needing to get coached on it.
(01:35):
The first person that you’re going to hear from she is Jill. And I will tell you, Jill’s been a member for a while and she is one of the people who would say she’s like a proclaimed deep dive diva, which just means grin if you say it. I’m listening to it. She loves the content, she goes through all of it. And one of the things that she said to me in this coaching session that you won’t hear, but I do want to explain it, is she said she’d really been thinking about all of the progress she’s made in no bss, but also the areas in weight loss where she still struggles. And she said, I had this big aha in realization that I have the frameworks inside of no BS to actually create the food life that I really want. Why this is important is because what you’re going to hear in the coaching session is I teach stopping at enough.
(02:34):
And the main way that I always teach it is, and this is what we talk about in the podcast, is what the body signals are. Paying attention, slowing down, asking questions like, is this enough? Is this enough? But one of the things a lot of people struggle with when it comes to stopping is they have some food insecurities and sometimes they’re afraid they’re not going to get enough. If that’s the case, what ends up happening is while you’re eating, it can be hard, if not impossible, to put on the brakes when you know physically are done. Most of us, what happens when we’re struggling with stopping it enough is we are mentally not done and that mental component, until we figure out why is it scary, why do we feel like we’re being punished, why do we feel like we’re missing out? If we are not diving into unraveling that it can feel really defeating.
(03:36):
It can feel as if you can’t stop it enough simply because you recognize it that something must be wrong with you. It doesn’t mean anything’s wrong with you. It means there might be more of a mental emotional component going on. And until we unravel that and until we solve it, we want to try different methods to be able to stop. That doesn’t freak us out or doesn’t make us go automatic while we’re eating. So in this call when she talked about I finally got the frameworks to design the eating lifestyle that I want, we start talking about, alright, instead of just stopping at enough mentally, instead of just putting on the brakes and leaving food behind, trying to leave two bites, trying to do any of those techniques, what if you just serve yourself on a smaller plate? What would happen? I think you’re going to love this coaching call because the thing that I teach inside the program that you don’t always get just listening to the podcast, we don’t have the time to dive in to what’s going on underneath all the time.
(04:51):
On top of that, one of the things I work really hard with my clients on is yes, there are four basics to weight loss, but we want to make sure that we are setting up the four basics and you doing them nuanced in such a way that you feel really good about doing it, that you are not forcing yourself to do them, just like you had to force yourself with counting calories or force yourself to cut out carbs. So listen to Jill’s call. I just love her to death. She’s one of those people that she shows up on calls, she raises her hands, she asks questions.
(05:33):
She just shows me that when you want to solve something that you’ve struggled with for 40 or 50 years, as long as you’re willing to work on it, the solution is there. Never give up hope that the solution isn’t just waiting on the other side of fear and uncertainty. Now, in our second call, you are going to hear another way that we talked about stopping at enough understanding why we’re not doing it. I just think that today’s two calls will really help. A lot of you understand not only that stopping at enough is not just something that’s going to click one day. It’s not something that like, well, she can do it. Why can’t I? It’s not a black and white issue. There’s so much that goes into it. And when you start looking into the reasons why stopping at enough is hard for you, then you start finding the solutions for weight loss that’s going to last you a lifetime. Enjoy these two behind the scenes calls.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
Identifying enough has been my biggest challenge. So I want to just start with smaller portions.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
All right,
Speaker 2 (06:58):
Let’s go. When are we doing? We already are. We started yesterday. Good.
Speaker 1 (07:05):
I’m glad we started that.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Okay, smaller, smaller plates, smaller bowls, and instead of feeling pressure to identify when enough is I am just going to serve myself smaller portions and just be more disciplined about that, and then I think the enough will come.
Speaker 1 (07:31):
Oh my gosh. So how does that feel when you think, I cannot wait to hear this. I think it’s going to be amazing. So I’ve decided in order to do enough, I’m not putting pressure on myself anymore. What I am going to do is become more disciplined on the smaller plates and the smaller bowls and see if that will help me with finding my enough. How does that feel?
Speaker 2 (07:51):
Feels fantastic because
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Yes, that’s what we want. We want to feel fantastic as we lose weight.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Well, but I’ve always been so confused and feel so defeated kind of by enough and it’s just like, well, and I’ve done a combination of, okay, well I’m going to use a smaller plate. Well, that doesn’t get, that helps, but I’m just going to start with smaller portions and see how that goes.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I would Corrine, that is exactly what I do. I like cleaning my plate.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Oh, me too. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (08:31):
There are times I have the bandwidth when I go out to not do it. It’s always uncomfortable though. And whenever I leave food behind, there are brief moments where I’m proud of myself. I’m like, look at me. I’m really overcoming this and stuff. But when I’m proud, it always comes immediately after the moment of you’re wasting that, Ooh, are we really doing this? I don’t know, maybe two more bites. And this is 16 years at maintenance. I still do this.
(09:06):
It’s just I don’t get bothered by that anymore. But one of the things that I want to encourage you, Jill, and I encourage all of you, is I love how you talked about this being a framework. The reason why we give y’all lots of different ways to attack things is because there’s no one right way. So for me, I know for me personally, you may not be like this, but I have wounds As a child, we were supposed to clean our plate because we didn’t get enough food. It feels really gross not to clean my plate and all this other stuff. So I’ve already done the work around wasting food to know it’s not a bad thing, but that doesn’t mean that my silly little 12-year-old version of me doesn’t be like, it’s still a bad thing. Just let you know. We used to starve. Don’t forget that shit. That still comes up when Aunt jj, you know how she makes our food for us.
(10:04):
She makes the same shit all the time. If she ever makes something where I have to spend a week either overeating to clean my plate or throw food away and not exactly enjoy the moment, I tell her the next week, Hey, cut my portion in half, cut it by three quarters because I learned from the last week how much I was having to get rid of. And I don’t want to do that every, I don’t want to go through the burden of working through my wasteful food thoughts every single week. I want things to be easy. And I think that’s what I want you to do is where else in this weight loss journey, start with this. Realize how fantastic it can feel to do it in a different way that allows you to stop it enough and then look for other ways where you might’ve been making it a little harder than it needs to be. Setting yourself up for this feels like it would really work for me. This feels easier. This is what I’m going to do.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
Well, I think I’ve gotten, I’ve learned so much and I have really instituted a lot of good habits, but because I keep losing and gaining the same weight, I feel like I’m not successful. But now I think since I’ve had the big aha and it’s like, okay, what I thought, what are you going to do to lose the weight? And now I have all these habits already in my toolbox, but I guess just what was kind of like the duh thing was, oh wait, it’s not going to happen to me. I have all these tools, I have to use them. I’ll be darn.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Yes, use them and make them your own, which is what you did. And I think that, I just want you to think about the times before when it’s losing and gaining the same. It’s because you were kind of, and a lot of us do this, we use the tools against ourselves. It has to be this way or the highway, or it should be this way, or somehow I’m cheating the system. And whenever we layer that kind of judgment on things, eventually we crack because who wants to try to lose weight feeling like shit said, no one ever.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
Exactly. Well, and I think I just need to honor my goals. You can’t be successful if you only honor your goals when it’s convenient. And I think I’ve done a fair amount of that, but I also have tools to help me honor my goals. And I think the big thing is planning. If it’s game night, I know I’m drinking beer, but I’m, I’m drinking 16 ounces of water in between. Exactly. So I do have some good habits.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
You do.
Speaker 2 (13:16):
So, yay. I love
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Framework for designing my own program. I wrote that down as the big aha.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Alright, yay. Thank you. It is for me. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Are you loving the podcast and trying things that I say? Maybe you’re trying to only eat when you’re hungry. You’re trying to stop it enough when eating food you love or you are planning ahead what you’re going to eat for the day, but you find doing all of this is a little harder than it sounds and the podcast, maybe you aren’t consistent. Sometimes you remember to do these things, but when you don’t, you immediately think, why isn’t this working for me? Next thing you know, you’re feeling like shit instead of learning from experience. If you’re ready to become someone who figures out their weight loss once and for all, then I want you to join thousands of women who are losing weight with no bss. No bss. Weight loss is the breath of fresh fucking air for women who want to lose weight for the last damn time.
(14:16):
Over 13,000 women are actively losing weight right now each and every week with me. But don’t worry, you don’t have to spend hours each week shopping, cooking, and prepping foods just to lose weight. You don’t even have to follow restrictive food rules keeping you from eating out with family and friends and limiting you only to the approved foods on your lists. No BSS weight loss actually helps you lose weight in minutes each day, not hours in the gym, hours in the kitchen, or hours spent counting up calories. It’s an easy approach to weight loss that blends brain science, behavioral techniques, and simple common sense steps. You can finally lose weight with a busy schedule, stressful days and unexpected emergencies. You can go on vacation and come home feeling like you had an amazing time that you ate the food you loved and all while not stuffing your face.
(15:15):
You can get help from real people. We give you an amazing community to use and real life weight coaches who answer questions and help you bust through the excuses keeping you from losing weight. No, BSS makes weight loss simple with amazing support and easy steps. So join us right now and lose weight this week. Just go to www.joinnobss.com. That’s www.joinnobss.com. The moment you join, you’ll get directions from us on exactly what to do to start losing weight now and you’ll be welcomed by me and my team. We want every woman to lose her weight for good and feel as amazing as she deserves, and we do all we can to help you reach your goals. Let me ask you this, but what is it that’s not fun about stopping it enough?
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, so example, over the weekend, I was on vacation with a friend and we were sitting, staring at the beach eating snacks. They were on my plan, but I knew at a point I’m like, I am not hungry right now. But I kept,
Speaker 1 (16:33):
But let me ask you this, had you needed to, if I had, let’s say I ran through and stole the food out of your hand, what would you have thought other than Wow, cor everywhere, but let’s just pretend.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
Oh, I would’ve been like, okay, whatever. I wouldn’t have cared. Yeah,
Speaker 1 (16:49):
Okay. Then why didn’t you just set it down if you wouldn’t have? Honestly, if the biggest thought is, oh, I realized I’m not hungry, let me just set this down. I really don’t care. Why are we not just doing that?
Speaker 3 (17:03):
The friend was eating it and I find that that is,
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Her eating has nothing to do with you eating. It’s the thought. So she’s eating. There’s
Speaker 3 (17:14):
Something happening because even my
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Daughter, I, let’s do this. You’re sitting at the beach, your friend is like, oh my god, Carrie, I’m fixing to have snacks. I’m going to eat right in front of you. Let’s do this. You’re like, I’m not hungry on the inside. And you’re like, okay, I’m not going to eat. I’m going to sit here and I’m going to be with someone who is eating. What’s your first thought? Don’t overthink it. Just what’s your first thought of?
Speaker 3 (17:39):
I think my first thought is, oh, but that sounds delicious.
Speaker 1 (17:44):
So that sounds delicious that you’re going to have that and now you’re not going to eat. You’re think that’s delicious. She’s going to be eating right in front of me. I’m not hungry. Guess I’m not going to eat. Now what’s your first thought?
Speaker 3 (17:57):
I’m being punished for not being able to eat.
Speaker 1 (18:00):
So that’s sucking the joy right out of your experience. It’s not because she’s eating. It’s
Speaker 3 (18:06):
Not right here. It’s not because it’s delicious with, yeah,
Speaker 1 (18:10):
Yeah. It’s none of that. It’s like I’m being punished. I don’t get to eat. Are you being punished if you don’t eat when you’re not hungry?
Speaker 3 (18:20):
No, but I just realized that probably does go back to the trauma in my family,
Speaker 1 (18:27):
And so we want to be aware of that. So one of the things that you want to be aware of is that one of the first things to think about is when I’m with friends, when I am in social situations, if I’m going to stop it enough or not eat because I’m hungry. There’s a part of me that’s going to feel like I’m being punished and I want to know that about me and I want to take a beat. Nobody has to know.
Speaker 3 (19:02):
Well, it’s just like my daughter was sitting here just the other night and she’s eating pizza that I don’t even like that kind of pizza. It’s yucky pizza, and normally I have a thing about eating yucky food. I will not let it come into my mouth and she’s sitting here, I’ve eaten. I am satisfied. I am not hungry. And I smell it and I’m like, oh. And I’m like, give me piece. And I had a fighter for it and yeah, I ended up eating the piece and I was just like, why am I, and I even sat there, I’m like, why am I doing this? I you like the yucky pizza.
Speaker 1 (19:44):
Well, I think sometimes it’s just if your big thing is to eat alongside other people you’re doing called the mirror effect. I’m eating y’all. Sometimes shit ain’t as deep as you think. So you just want to know, oh, this is just one of those psychological triggers. It’s just like we all have confirmation bias. Every human has all these different biases and things that happen in our brain that night. We probably don’t have to look too hard. It’s like my daughter’s eating that looks fun. I’m going to mirror what she’s done. Give me a piece, blah, blah, blah. We’re not really thinking about it. That’s fine. What we do want to notice though, are the times where it’s like, and I’m around people. One of two things might be happening. I might want to mirror what they’re doing by thinking I need to eat with them as if this is a tribal participation moment because that’s just for our brain, our brains to act
Speaker 3 (20:48):
Like, okay, well I am happy, thank you, by the way, because I keep thinking that there’s something wrong with me. It happens often. She eats at crazy times and so we’re sitting on the couch and she’s eating. I’m like, oh, give me a little of your whatever. And I, it’s
Speaker 1 (21:04):
To feel connected, to feel like we’re doing what the group is doing, and then we just want to be aware of those moments and just say like, Hey, I’m in the room, so I’m already doing what the group is doing. It’s like I don’t have to actually eat. If she started picking her nose and eating her boogers, would you be just like, well, I want to be like everybody else. Most of us have points where we won’t mirror anymore, but on your friend on the other side, you have another thing that happens, and I can tell that it came up because you got kind of weepy about it, which is very normal, is there are also times that when I’m not going to participate maybe more in a social situation, the part of me from my past that maybe was punished or wasn’t allowed to eat with everybody else, whatever was happening, that part gets activated and it’s going to feel really strong. It’s going to feel really urgent and it’s going to feel like my brain is going to throw up, something’s really wrong here. You should just eat to keep me safe.
(22:13):
And this is when we want to be able to just silently take a few deep breaths. Sometimes I can, when I’m really tense in a social situation, I rub my arm this, this is my super secret signal that I’m comforting myself and I can be looking at someone and just a smile y’all watch, watch it. Live events. Sometimes you’ll see me when a lot of people want to talk to me. Everybody knows Corinne’s, not like I hug a lot of people because I know what it means to other people and I’m very willing to do it. So it’s not that I’m anti hugging, but I don’t let people get close to me and that’s always been a protective mechanism for me. My mom jokes all the time. She sent me the funniest meme the other day with this cat where these two cats were just all over this one cat just loving and just alleg grooming and stuff, and the cat in the middle was just freaking out and she sent it to him. We have a cat
Speaker 3 (23:17):
Like
Speaker 1 (23:18):
That. Well, she said, that’s you. When me and your brother when we’re all together and me and your brother are wanting to hug on you because they are just clingy and I’m just like, get the fuck away. I don’t want this, but I do this and inside my head I’m literally telling myself, you’re okay. You’re just nervous. You’re just uncomfortable. This is all
Speaker 3 (23:44):
I’m not nervous and uncomfortable and whatever. I’m just,
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Because you’re not even giving yourself the chance to experience it. When I asked you about your friend and if you weren’t going to eat, you said, then I would feel like I’m being punished and then you got weepy. Yeah. I want you to imagine if you were literally sitting there and now you’re not going to eat and you’re literally watching her. It
Speaker 3 (24:10):
Is about thinking that
Speaker 1 (24:12):
That’s more of a moment to say, I hear you. You really want to be eating to fit in or to not be punished. We’re nothing bad’s happening.
Speaker 3 (24:27):
Yeah. Okay, then we’ll try that.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
Alright, let’s work on that. I think that’s more valuable work for you to watch for the mirror effect and for you to watch for these social situations where you might, I agree. You might even just try eating a little less. Don’t even go whole hog with all your friends yet. Just say, you know what? My goal is stop a little sooner than I normally do, just to experience what kind of level of uncomfortable I might have and be open to. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think. Maybe feeling punished doesn’t come up for me. Who knows? Let’s just see what happens.
Speaker 3 (25:04):
Yeah. Okay.
Speaker 1 (25:06):
All right. Thank
Speaker 3 (25:07):
You. Thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to no bss freecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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