Perfectionism has a sneaky way of slowing down weightloss.
Even if you're usually not a perfectionist…
Perfectionism traits show up a lot in lifelong dieters.
So many of the tactics and methods used in old-school, traditional diets like Weight Watchers, My Fitness Pal, If It Fits Your Macros…RELY on streaks, doing it “right” and following inflexible rules.
Trust me, these types of programs throw kerosene on the perfection fire.
Diet perfectionism often sounds like:
- “This won't be good enough”
- “My family makes it hard for me to lose weight”
- “When XYZ happens, THEN I can diet”
Here's a promise I can make you.
Every success story in weightloss that I've coached…
The 1000s of women who lost weight after YEARS of failing…
Myself included, who lost 100lbs…
Everyone started on day one thinking we couldn't do it. We had our bullshit perfectionistic thinking riding shotgun while we lost weight.
In this podcast, I'll tell you how to bitch slap the perfectionistic side of you to the backseat.
Trust me, being perfect is NOT required to lose weight and keep it off. The podcast will tell you why.
Hello everyone. Welcome back. If you are watching on YouTube, let me just say, today we’re going to be talking about the ideal self versus the perfect self. This is a concept that I think is really important, but you’re going to see. I definitely am showing up as my ideal self today. I was thinking about wanting to do this podcast for a long time because I’ve been teaching this class forever in different … I get invited to speak at lots of different memberships and classes and all kinds of stuff.
And I love this class and I’ve wanted to do it on the podcast for a long time because I know there are so many of us that deal with perfectionism when it comes to weight loss. I think that perfectionism is one of the hugest barriers to weight loss. If we can’t figure out how to set our goals, set our standards and stuff in a way that doesn’t beat us up, it’s really hard to lose weight.
I just know it was a key factor for me. At the heart of everything was the change of my self-talk. Until I quit talking to myself like an asshole, I could not lose weight. And today this whole talk is about how do you balance going after the things you want and having this vision of your ideal self without beating yourself up all the way there. And when we beat ourself up, it’s because we’re actually picturing more of our perfectionistic self.
So I’ve been doing this one for a long time and I was thinking about it this morning. And just a sneak peek into my life, I’ve just been really busy lately. I’ve been speaking on stages. I’ve had my team in town. We’ve had a thousand things happening in our house as we’ve just recently moved into this house a few months ago and we’re still having lots of work done.
We’re having no BS offices and filming studios being built out in our basement. We just bought a restaurant. I don’t even know if I’ve told my podcast listeners that we bought a restaurant. So my husband and I are actively just rebranding it, doing different things there. And we’re traveling for just fun. I mean, on top of my normal travel, my husband and I love to go to Vegas during the summer and we like to go a lot.
And so I’m constantly packing and unpacking. So with all that said, I was sitting there thinking about this morning and my team was like, we need some podcasts from you. It’s coming up on time and I batch all my podcasts ahead of time. For all of you who are in the business world, you’ll know what batching means. It’s you take a repetitive task that you do and you plan one day where you’re going to do a bunch of them. And so I recorded a few podcasts, but I had one more I needed to deliver, and I’m sitting here in my office 6:30 in the morning looking like shit, and I was like, God, I’ve got such a busy day.
I am on camera all day. I just didn’t think I could do this podcast this afternoon. I was sitting there going, you ain’t going to want to teach this. It’s like, you’ve got five hours that you’re going to be live with no pee break, don’t even sit there and think for a hot second that when all that’s over, you’re going to want to do a podcast because this is literally the only time I have left to do it.
So I was like, fuck, I’m doing the ideal versus perfectionism podcast and we’re going to do it as the ideal version of me. My ideal version just gets shit done. The ideal version of Corrine doesn’t sit and worry if people think, doesn’t that bitch ever comb her hair? The ideal version of Corrine, she thinks more about the message you need, knows when she can do it, when she’s going to be at her best, even if she’s not looking at her best.
So I really thought about that this morning. I was like, fuck this. We’re going. So that’s what we’re going to talk about today. Ideal versus the perfectionism side of you. So first of all, let’s just define ideal and perfectionism. When we’re going out to lose our weight from the ideal version of us, it is a standard of excellence of what’s right for you in particular situations and circumstances.
So I really want you to hear this because if you joined me for the Summer Reset, which is a half day workshop that I teach my clients, we invite the public, we do it every summer to kick it off, it happened in the 1st of June, you know that we talked about an ideal day. And in the ideal day, what I teach there is ideal days change. In the summer, if you are a parent whose kids are home, your ideal day is going to be different.
You might be able to sleep in later because if you go to work and you leave your kids at home, if you’re like my mama was when I was a kid, our summers, my brother and I, we were the babysitters of ourselves. We spent our summers together playing in the house most of the time. We could go out in the backyard, we could have our friends over, but we weren’t allowed to go to other people’s houses when we were kids, and my mama was at work.
And so for her during the summer, she could sleep later because she didn’t have to take us to school. So her ideal day was very different than when we were in school. So I want you to think about the ideal version of us. At the base of it is it is your standard of excellence. It means this is the standard of which I want to live by, but it also needs to be flexible.
The ideal version of you is different depending on life’s situations, and that’s where a lot of us fuck ourselves, is like we hold ourselves to a perfectionistic standard that we think should work across all things that happen in life. No matter what’s going on in life, no matter what’s going on in the world, we should be doing these things. We should be acting like this, and I don’t think that’s the case.
I think when we’re living to our ideal self, we know what our standards of excellence are in particular situations and circumstances. We allow ourselves to be flexible. The key to the ideal self to me is the ideal self is thinking about things, where the perfectionistic person is holding themselves to a standard that they haven’t really thought about given the particular situation or circumstance.
So the definition of perfectionism is basically it’s displeasure with anything that’s not perfect or does not meet your extremely high standards. That’s perfectionism. So just for one more time, for anybody in the back who missed it, who may be driving when it’s the ideal or talking about living up to your ideal, it is a standard of excellence that you set for yourself that feels right for a particular situation or circumstance, which means you’re thinking about it.
Perfectionism is displeasure with anything that’s not perfect or does not meet your extreme high standards, which means we are not thinking about it. We are not reevaluating, we’re not pondering. So the bottom line is when you’re operating from your ideal version, when you feel like you are being your ideal version, you’re taking responsibility for how you’re showing up in any given moment or any time in life by understanding what’s going on and then being willing to adapt, being willing to make small changes so that you can continue to live towards the ideal.
When you are operating from that perfectionistic version of you, you’re finding fault and you’re finding blame for what’s going on in your life, for any of the things that you’re creating. So, if it’s weight loss, you will weigh on the scale and you’ll be like, fuck me, I must be lazy. I never can lose weight. If so-and-so would quit, if my partner would just tell me what we’re going to eat for dinner, if my kids didn’t need to keep snacks in the house, if they didn’t need me to be running ragged at night, running them too and fro from things, then I’d be able to lose weight.
When you’re operating from your ideal version, if you notice like let’s take running your kids around to and fro from all the places and all the sports, the ideal version knows I take responsibility. I’m eating in the drive-throughs instead of packing something. I’m ordering a cheeseburger when I know well they serve a salad. That’s on me. I know this is a busy time of my life, so instead of thinking that I should be eating Martha Stewart made homemade meals, I need to learn how to go to a drive-through and eat something that works for weight loss.
So we want to make sure that we know the difference between where we’re operating from. When we show up as our ideal weight loss self, it’s not going to be perfect. It never is. We need to drop this idea that we are going to be the good girl for the rest of our life when it comes to losing weight. You are not ever going to have an epic moment in your life. Please hear me when I say this. I have never coached one person and I have literally helped thousands of women lose weight inside my program, thousands, not 1000, thousands, and none of them ever said I was perfect all the time.
Here’s what they do tell me, Corrine, I was really sure of who I wanted to be. I made sure to think about who I ultimately wanted to be when I lost weight, the type of lifestyle I wanted, and if I couldn’t think about her, I thought about who I wanted to be at the end of the week, but I always focused on staying really in touch with who I wanted to be, thinking about what was going to be happening for me each day, rising to that occasion by planning food, planning my time, and just planning how I wanted to think through my day.
And then I was willing to meet those standards, but I looked at them all the time. That’s the common thread that I see in my successful weight loss clients is when I tell them, make a 24-hour plan, when I tell them we’re going to think about things a few hours ahead of time, instead of trying to go into every moment with all of our emotions, our self-esteem, and anything that’s going wrong in life and being like, now it’s time for me to try to figure out what I’m going to eat to lose weight, that is the wrong fucking time to be thinking about it, y’all.
My clients really understand that they are never going to be perfect, but what they can do is really know who they want to be, think about that person and then start planning for that given those unique situations of each and every day. Remember that ideal self, it’s not the same all the time. When shit hits the fan in your life, there’s a different standard you’re going to live to. We just want to always make sure that we’re not reacting to the shit happening in life.
Our ideal self is not reacting. Our ideal self is taking a look and deciding, and that’s so different. So ideal self versus the perfect self. The ideal self takes responsibility for things. They’re asking questions like, in this situation, what is my next best step? They’re telling themselves, if I’m the problem here, I’m also the solution. They’re not afraid to call shit on themselves when they know.
It’s like, you know what? I’m not making choices that I want to continue to make long term. I’m not making choices that are helpful, and instead of beating myself up, I’m going to say, if I can make choices that aren’t helpful, that means I can also make some choices that are helpful. I’m the problem and I’m the solution. They tell themselves, I make choices. They don’t say, I have to. They ask themselves to solve their own problems.
They’re not looking for partners to quit eating foods before they do. They are always like, look, anything that I want to do for my weight loss, it is on me to make that happen. That is not on the people in my life to make that happen. The people in my life are not in my way. The people in my life don’t make it harder. When I think they’re responsible for what I put in my mouth, I just made weight loss harder on me.
When I realize that if I want to stop eating at any time I can, regardless if everybody else is still eating, that’s on me. So the ideal version, and I want you to think about, they are taking responsibility for things even when they don’t want to, even when they don’t think they should. They just know that it’s a better life when you’re taking responsibility because when you take responsibility, you also take control of your life.
When we’re operating from our perfectionistic self, we’re often blaming and excusing things. There will be a lot of worrying. They’ll be like, I don’t know. I’m not sure if this will work. I’m going to ask 50000 people first to see whether they think about this before I even try it. So they’re just wasting time. 50000 people can tell you something will work or not work. You won’t know for you unless you try it. So if you want to lose weight faster, I suggest you try things faster rather than asking 1000 people their opinions.
When we’re in the whole perfectionistic mindset, blaming, excusing sounds like I’m the problem and there is no solution. My partner cooks for me, that must mean there’s no way I could plan my dinner. My partner cooks and they cook delicious rich food, which means there must be no way that I can lose weight. They don’t offer themselves any solutions like, I could stop it enough. If my partner’s making lots of rich food, say it’s your wife or your husband, guess what? If it’s a lot of rich food, you’re not going to need much of it.
That just is common sense. Telling yourself you can’t lose weight eating fettuccine Alfredo is bullshit. You can’t lose weight eating fettuccine Alfredo in fuck it mode and just eating all you want and not paying attention. But if you know it’s a rich food, you need to eat really slow because it’s going to fill you up really fast, which means you ain’t going to get much, which means I’m going to have what I want, but I’m also going to have to tell myself to not throw a fucking pity party because I don’t get to clean the plate.
I don’t get to throw a pity party because I’m sitting there thinking how unfair it is that my partner made fettuccine Alfredo knowing I’m trying to lose weight and it’s one of my favorite foods. That’s perfectionism. Perfectionism says it’s either or. We are in our perfectionistic mindset when we are saying blank gets in my way. You want to just be told what to do. I’m going to tell you, no one loses weight long term with a boss.
Everybody that I know that’s ever lost a lot of weight because they worked with a trainer and hired somebody to tell them exactly what to do or bought something like a shake program or as I like to call them the shakedown programs, they end up regaining their weight because they handed their brain over to somebody else. They just did what they were told, which is great. It means you have the capacity, but you’ve got to learn how to tell you what to do because if you’re not going to work with that trainer for the rest of your life, when you’re gone and you’ve abdicated all of your decision making, all of your motivation, all of your accountability over to someone else, guess what?
You didn’t learn how to do any of that for yourself. So when the day comes where you’re done, you are starting at ground zero with the skills that you need to learn to keep the weight off. You have to learn how to be accountable to you. You have to learn how to plan your own shit. You have to learn how to show up when you don’t want to because you ain’t got nobody sitting there staring at you no more. So we want to make sure that we understand when we’re being ideal versus perfect.
Another thing that the ideal version of us does is they focus on the big picture. They focus on the way that they get their weight loss. How they lose weight is just as important as the weight loss. What does that mean? That means in weight loss, being able to lose weight, you want to enjoy the journey. As you’re losing weight, you’re only wanting to change things in your life and add things to your life for weight loss that you’re like, I really could see me doing this for the rest of my life.
I really could see this working for me, I really like it because the more you like it and you’re not having to make yourself do it, force yourself to do it or thinking you should do it, the more you actually like it, I want you to think about this, the majority of the time when we lose our weight and regain it is because at the end, somehow we were losing weight in a way that we didn’t really love.
We did it for the weight loss. We got excited for the weight loss. We were happy about the weight loss. We loved the result, but we never stopped to ask ourselves, do I really like what I’m doing to get there or am I just in love with the result? Because it’s really important because your ideal self is going to lose their weight and never have to go back. They’re going to lose their weight thinking, I wouldn’t give up these things.
That’s what happened with me as I was losing weight, when I first started, it was all the really small changes. It was eating a little less ice cream at night. It was switching thick crust to thin crust pizza. If I went out to eat, if we were having pancakes, I didn’t have butter and syrup. I started with one or the other. I was making a lot of level one changes. And I started feeling better about myself and I was like, “I really like this. I could see myself eating differently now.”
That thought, I could see myself eating differently opened the door to what else could I start changing? That’s when I started, after a while, I noticed it was like I wonder if some nights I could just have fruit instead of ice cream at night. Let me try fruit. Everybody says fruit’s great. Started falling in love with fruit. I liked how it made me feel. I noticed that I sleep better.
I started paying attention to these things and what I noticed was the things I was doing to lose weight, they were changing. I was trying more and more things. I was letting go of old ways because I started really seeing I like this life. I love the version of me that’s eating this way now. I actually like how I feel. I have so much more energy. My skin is getting clearer. All these things. I was falling in love with the process, and when I got to the end, not only did I love the weight loss, but I liked who I was. I had learned how to encourage myself, and I liked that life. I had no reason to go back.
My old life wasn’t tempting. It wasn’t more fun, none of it because I had changed my opinion about the process on the way down, and that’s really important. So when we are being our ideal selves, how we get there is just as important as getting there. We don’t do that, when we’re our perfect version of ourselves, we’re overly focused on just right now. We want the result.
We will make ourselves do things. It’s not so much about how we get there, it’s about every single week, are we losing weight? Are we losing weight? Are we losing weight? Let’s say you loved your week, you ate amazing. You planned your food, you were not overeating, and the scale doesn’t go down. When we are trapped in our perfectionistic mind, we erase all the good things that we just did.
It’s like, oh, I didn’t lose weight. I must have fucked up somehow. This isn’t going to happen for me. We start talking to ourselves like an asshole, and then we tend to overeat or do something jerky to ourselves, like starve to try to get the scale to move. We drop all the other stuff. When we’re from our ideal self, we know that we’re going to keep going until we get there. I remember, I’ve told y’all this story several times, but this is a really good example of ideal versus perfectionism, when I was losing weight, I was hovering around 200 pounds.
And I was literally living like a whole different person compared to my 250 pound self. I was moving my body every day. I was eating better than I’d ever ate in my life. I was still having foods that I loved. I was incorporating all of it. And I was really proud of the person I was becoming. The first few weeks when scale didn’t move, the first couple weeks, I was really into that perfect or the ideal self. I would say, you know what? It only makes sense that if I keep doing the things I’m doing, I will lose weight.
I could get on the scale and not lose, and was so enthralled with the process and had told myself, this is what I’m going to be doing to lose my weight, that it didn’t rock me. Weeks three and four, scale didn’t move, I was like, huh, I don’t know about this. Those weeks, I looked at what I was doing and I was like, no, something makes sense here. If I keep doing this, I know I’ll lose weight. The last two weeks that it didn’t move, by the time I hit week six, I was like, fuck this. This isn’t working. And I remember thinking out loud or thinking in my head, I might as well just go eat the things I want. Why bother?
That perfectionistic version of Corrine suddenly came out to play. I don’t know where she’d been, but she had been laying dormant somewhere and six weeks of not losing weight was the trigger for her to go, now, come on. You’ve been over here talking nice to yourself and stuff, this is some bullshit. If you’re not going to lose weight, we might as well be eating. She was here to save my day.
And I remember this moment, because I had been talking so differently to myself, she stood out. She never stood out in my past. That was just the normal way that I would talk to myself, but now, because I had been living differently, trying to think differently, it all changed. In that moment I was like, no. I remember going, no. It was like the heavens parted and the angels came down and it was like Corrine playing a harp, telling her exactly what to say.
I remember telling myself, that’s how we used to think. That’s old Corrine. I know we’ve got to keep going. It makes no sense that if I eat my face off that my life’s going to get better in this moment. The only thing that’s going to change is I’ll probably feel some relief from eating, and then I’m going to be right back to thinking I can’t do this. And I was like, I’m just going to keep going.
And I remember telling myself it was the hardest decision I ever made that if I never lost another pound, my life was better for the changes that I was making and the way that I was living than it was going back to eating like I was and talking to myself like I was. The most brave moment of my life was the day that I decided to try to lose weight again after so many epic failures. It was not easy that day.
I was full on postpartum depression. I mean, that was probably the most courageous moment was to say, I’m going to try one more time. I’m going to see what happens. Thank God I didn’t miss my magic moment telling myself that all my past diets mattered. It was that moment where I was like, I have to try again. The second-bravest moment was probably that moment. It was the moment that I could have thrown all of it away and I decided not to.
It was the moment that food seemed so tempting because I wanted weight loss so bad and I decided no, if I want to feel good about myself, I need to tell myself something to feel good about, which is the bravest decision I made is even if you never lose another pound, your life is better right now than it was eating your face off. In that moment, I felt compassion. I felt understood by me, and the perfectionist itself doesn’t do that.
Your perfectionist itself beat yourself up and thinks the result is way more important than how you’re living. She doesn’t want to think about all of it. She just wants to think about one standard of excellence. And in weight loss, often that scale is our standard of excellence. We throw away all the changes that we’re making. I’m not saying that it’s not to feel defeated sometimes when the scale’s not moving, but I remember that week going back through all of my food logs for the last couple of weeks and really challenging myself like, okay, scale hasn’t moved in a few weeks, so what are you willing to change?
And this is for all of you that listen to my podcast a lot. Y’all hit these big stalls because what happens is most of us, especially if you have more weight to lose, you can lose a certain amount of weight and not really have to challenge yourself super hard. We can make a lot of small changes and they’re like, oh, it’s not too bad. It’s kind of like you’re getting in a really cold pool. You know how you slowly walk in. It’s like when we’re first losing weight and we have a lot of weight to lose, we can do the slow creep for a while, but at some point you’re getting waist deep and it’s either stand there with just what’s comfortable or it’s like, all right, if I’m going to be here, I’m going to have to go, I just need to go under at this point.
I just need to get it going. That was me, and that’s what a lot of us need to do. When you haven’t lost weight in a few weeks and you really are not overeating, the first thing to do is to always look at, all right, am I lying to myself? Are there extra bites that I’m not reporting? Are there little grabs? Are there, I say I’m stopping at enough, I’m stopping at enough after I’ve had a couple of extra safety bites, not at my true enough. I’m stopping at my emotional enough, which is, doesn’t mean it’s full, it just means like, okay, I ate a little bit more in my body needed, but that shouldn’t hurt.
So I want you to think about this. When you are on those stalls, you’ve got to look at some things really honestly. So we’ve got to clean all that up first, but if none of that’s happening, then you’re probably at the point where it’s like, okay, what is it that the next smaller change that I need to do that I don’t want to, that I’m currently thinking I shouldn’t have to or that I’m hanging on to that I think shouldn’t matter, start there. That is what rocked me was like, got me off that stall was I kind of looked at some things. I was like, okay, what is something I’m willing to let go of? It might be a little tougher, but here’s the thing, when you’re at that point, you need to remind yourself, it might be a little tough, but I can try it.
Look at all this weight I have lost. Look at all these things I’ve already done. And this was what was helpful for me. It was to look back and say, I looked at all the changes I had made, and I will be honest, when I got to 250, I mean when that 250 to 200, a lot of the changes I had made, the 250 pound version of me looking at 200 would’ve thought, you’ll never get there. I had already proven that I could do things that I didn’t think I could do or should have to, so that meant I could keep doing the same thing. So the other thing about the ideal versus the perfectionistic self is our ideal version needs to be brave. We need to remind ourselves that we …
Confidence is one of those tricky things. It’s where a lot of times we want to be confident in the result, like, I want to be confident that if I do this, then I will lose weight. When we’re living from our ideal self, we’re not waiting for assurances like the perfectionistic self is. The perfectionistic self says, if I do this, then that needs to happen. The ideal self switches it to self-confidence. This ideal self says, I believe that I will do this and it might. So I’m brave enough to go for it in the hopes that that does happen because there’s no assurances in life, there’s no guarantees.
And so instead of trying to work so hard on the guarantee, let’s just work hard on believing I’ll take the steps, it makes sense that that would happen and we’ll just see. But I’m going to be confident in me that I will try things. I will be confident that some stuff might not work, but I bet some does. I’m going to be confident that I could be wrong about a lot of things, so that’s why I’m going to move forward. So the ideal self, they want to figure things out. They’re trying to figure stuff out eventually so that it is right.
The perfectionistic self wants to know the right thing so that they can get the thing. They don’t want to do the figuring out part. The perfectionistic self’s a little lazy. They’re like, can you just hand it to me on a platter so I don’t have to beat myself up? And the ideal self says, I want to figure it out because I’m not going to beat myself up and I’m going to get there faster than somebody who’s waiting around for the perfect shit. So the ideal self does not place blame. They are not always trying to find fault in themselves or others.
They are embracing themselves. They are taking necessary steps to become the person they want to be, and they are constantly reminding themselves how they want to talk to themselves. Anytime they hear themselves being an asshole, they’re like, hey, we’re unlearning that version of us. If I wasn’t being an to myself and I wasn’t making this such a big deal, what would I tell myself in this moment? The ideal self is really good at pivoting their old thinking to some new, improved thinking.
The perfectionistic self, they like to blame, they’re always finding the fault in themselves and the world. They judge themselves really hard. They say that things are always in their way of becoming who they want to be. So I just wanted to have this conversation today because I think it’s so important for us to know the differences. So I wanted to give you some journal prompts that y’all could use. Again, this is one of those things where I always tell y’all, write shit down on paper and work out your brain on paper. If you work out your brain on paper, it is so much easier to lose weight.
If you’re trying to work your brain out by just listening to me all the time, it’s so much harder. That’s why if you join the No BS Weight Loss membership, we give you these things like, we’ll give you journal prompts in printable PDFs, every single week we’re giving you small drips of little things that you can work on in less than 10 minutes, sometimes even less than five minutes, a few days a week that will change your perspective because the moment when you change your perspective for weight loss, it is so much easier to follow through on the things to do for weight loss.
So I want you to think about this. Why are you made to lose weight? I know that’s a tricky question. It’s kind of weird, but this is all about figuring out your strengths, not your weaknesses. So how are you just more than ready and more than qualified to actually start your weight loss? How do you know right now that you are really ready for it? Because this is, a lot of us, we spend time listing all the reasons why we’re not ready, why it’s not our time, what’s wrong with us, why we’re not made for this.
I just want you to spend some time thinking about it in reverse. You’ve spent plenty of time thinking about why you can’t. Let’s just play a little bit on the side of, but why can you? That’s what I had to do on day one. I had to quit thinking about why I couldn’t. I had to start thinking about what I really wanted for myself. I wanted to feel better, why I could do it, I just told myself, here’s one of the reasons why you can, tomorrow, I know there’s got to be some small changes you can make. That was a very different conversation than me reliving the 4000 times that I had failed.
I want you to think about as of right now, what do you have going for you that would help you lose weight? What are the positive things that are going on in your life right now that help set you up? Knowing those things, how can you use them? How can you rely on that? And then also, this is the neat thing about weight loss is like, what are some of the things that excite you that you’d like to try? I know this sounds insane, but so many of the people that I talk to, they just dream of eating healthier. When they think about their ideal self, she’s sitting around with a big delicious salad and all these things, she’s pooping regular and she’s pouring water in her mouth at all times. We always have this ideal version of us who looks so dreamy and stuff.
Think about this. Why does that matter to you? What about weight loss, what is something like with the way that I teach things that you would be excited to learn, excited to put into your life, you could see yourself enjoying it? Those are some important questions to ask. And then finally, your ideal self, I want you to think about what are the changes I’m willing to make this week that are so small and so doable that it would be hard for me to tell myself, eh, we’re not doing that. I always tell my clients, the best changes to make when you’re first starting to lose weight are the ones that you think won’t be good enough. The moment you write a list down and your brain goes, that’s not good enough, that is exactly where to start.
Because I want you to think about this, you’re going to have to override the version of you that thinks it’s not good enough. That’s a huge thing in weight loss. It will pay you off forever because as you lose weight, there will always be things like, I don’t know if that’s good enough. The moment you say it’s not good enough, you tell yourself what’s not good enough is doing nothing. This list is not nothing. It’s something and I should get started rather than waiting on perfect things, waiting on big epic changes, no more waiting. And then the last thing that I want you to think about is how will I know when I’m not being my ideal self in my life? What will I tell myself? What are the things I’ll be saying and what are the things I’ll be doing? Because most of us need to get better at knowing when we’ve dropped out of our ideal self.
You can also write about how do I know when I’m practicing perfectionism? The reason why I have you do this is because one of the things that I teach inside the No BS business or the No BS Weight Loss membership is how to watch yourself because that is one of the most key skills of weight loss. You have to be able to watch yourself because in the moments when you are overeating, we want to get to where we can stop ourselves instead of continuing or going into fuck it mode. Most of us are going to lose quite a bit of weight because we’re reducing the amount of time we spend in fuck it mode, which means I messed up, so I might as well mess up a lot of shit and start over tomorrow or next week. And we’ve got to reduce those things first.
So before we cut out the over eats, what we want to do is we want to cut out the blow it over eats. There’s all these stages that I teach inside my program. So for you, if you can figure out just knowing this is what it looks like when I am in my ideal self and this is what it looks like when I’m in my perfectionistic self, here are the things that I know that take me away from my ideal self. If you can paint that picture, I just need you to get better at seeing yourself in real time and being able to pivot to who you really want to be. That takes patience. There are easier steps to do that I teach inside the No BS Weight Loss program, but that will get you started. I hope y’all enjoyed this week and think about joining the No BS Weight Loss program.
If you’re sitting there going like, damn, I definitely need to work on loving my process more, I definitely need to be able to reduce my blow it eats, my fuck it eats, I have to learn how to be nicer to myself in order to lose weight, I need to learn how to witness, watch myself when I’m not in that stay and instead of beating myself up over it, I need to learn, well, how do you change over? How do you start just dead stop that and start being the person you want to be, if you want to know all of that, that’s what we do inside the No BS Weight Loss program, plus 1000 other things that will help you lose weight. You can join us today if you want. All right, everybody, y’all have a good week. Talk to you soon.