If there's a part of you who wants to lose weight in 2023, don't make the mistake of just picking some plan.
For this year to be different, YOU must DO different things.
No more doing the same old diet techniques to lose weight wrapped up in a shiny new diet.
Stop picking restrictive food plans if you dream of one day eating the foods you love effortlessly.
Stop doubling down on the gym with killer workouts to make up for “eating sins” keeping you stuck losing and gaining weight while working hard.
I watch women using the same old diet techniques to lose weight, but they are still struggling because they don't have the real skills required to lose weight.
To help you, I'm sharing what I've learned losing 100 pounds and helping 1000s of women lose their weight for the last time.
You can make 2023 the year you lost weight. It just takes doing things differently.
Hello everybody. Welcome back. So today I want to talk to you about three signs that you are going to lose weight in 2023. And I think this is really important because a lot of people are going to be looking for a diet. You’re going to be looking for ways that you can lose weight and you’re not really looking at the signals that are important to know are you going to be successful next year.
One of the biggest things I watch people do year after year is they all want to go on that January diet. I have no problems with anybody wanting to lose weight in 2023. Trust me, as someone who runs one of the most successful weight loss coaching businesses, I want to see more women losing weight. But the problem is, is I watch women year after year go back and try to lose weight the same old weights. They try to use not just the same diet techniques, but they don’t know the real skills required in order to lose weight. And those real skills have nothing to do with willpower and they have nothing to do with forcing yourself. The real skills of weight loss are really understanding what kind of lifestyle you want and being brave enough and courageous enough to not try to lose weight in a way that doesn’t support the kind of life you want to live.
Like I honestly believe I lost a hundred pounds. I did not, it should radically change how I ate. To this day I still eat ice cream when I want. To this day I literally eat foods I like. Now, the foods I have changed over time, but I’m going to tell you, this bitch can still get down on some Cheetos every now. And then other day, I swear all I wanted was dessert for dinner.
Guess what I did? I decided rather than trying to be good and eat all my vegetables and do all this other stuff, “I need a protein and I need a healthy starch and I’m going to need to eat vegetables and this is what I should be doing,” instead of doing that and then ending up struggling with wanting something sweet for the rest of the night, feeling like I can’t ever have those things and then slowly increasing the temperature to the point to where at some point I was going to go and fucking eat that dessert. I was just like, “This is just one of those days. Let’s just have dessert for dinner and let’s really enjoy it.” Let’s not eat all of it simply because we never get it. Let’s remind ourselves these are the kind of things you do for yourself now. These are the kind of choices that you make now. It takes the temperature down, it builds trust with myself. It allows me to no longer panic around my favorite foods and then overeat them because I feel guilty and feel ashamed. Y’all, that’s the real skills of weight loss.
The real skills of weight loss are coming to terms with the food that you really want to eat and figuring out a way to lose weight while including them. Success is built around the real skills of weight loss like not beating yourself up if for some reason things don’t go as planned. The real skills of weight loss are having patience in the moment that you do want to eat simply because you had a bad day. So what we need to do is we need to identify what it is that really indicate that we’re on the right path for weight loss. And if you hear these three things and you don’t have them, this is not for you to be, “Woe is me. I can’t lose my weight in 2023.” This is to show you, please don’t start another diet with the same mindset as you did last year.
If you don’t have these three things, then you need to start a weight loss program that includes teaching you how to think like this. Without it, you’re going to be starting and stopping your weight loss efforts. You’re going to be yo-yo dieting, you’re going to gain some momentum and then need a break because you picked something so hard and so scary that you just can’t be forcing yourself and scared all the time. A lot of times when we say, “I need a break from my weight loss plan,” you don’t need a break from the plan. You need a lot a break from all the anxiety you have around it. And so we go out and we eat to reduce the anxiety instead of figuring out how do we lose weight with plans that don’t give us anxiety.
So here are the three signs that you’ll lose weight in 2023. Number one, you trust yourself. Now, this is a big one for a lot of people. A lot of people who come to me who need help with losing their weight, it is because they don’t trust themselves. And I don’t blame you. For years when I was trying to lose weight, I did not trust myself around my favorite foods. I had only ever ate them out of hopelessness, despair, or thinking that the food controls me. It is no wonder that I didn’t trust myself. But here’s the thing, if you are going to lose weight in 2023, you have to learn, number one, you’ve got to learn how to trust that your body is going to help you lose weight, not be in the way of losing weight.
A lot of people come to me because they’ve got PCOS. Some come because they’re in the middle of their menopause. Some are past menopause. Some people come to me with all kinds of reasons and they feel like their body works against them. And I’m just here to tell you, there is nothing in the world that loves you more than your body. Your body loves you so much that if you want to sit on your couch every single day and not move it or stretch it, it will curve its spine to accommodate you. Your body loves you so much that if you want to continue to only comfort yourself with food, that it will gain weight for you, it will change its metabolic processes, it will do all kinds of things on the inside desperately trying to accommodate your comfort eating, your distress eating, your relaxed eating, your avoidance of uncomfortable situation, eatings, that’s how much your body loves you.
So often what we do is we think that our body doesn’t love us. We’re like, “Oh, it’s broken. It’s this. It’s that.” There is no one in the world that will fight harder for your survival than your body. That’s how much it cares about you. Even in the process of it having disease or illness, it tries its damnedest. Very often it’s trying to send you signs, “Eat different. Be different. Do different.” And we just ignore them because we think our body is a problem. We think our body is the enemy. And then we feel so frustrated, we feel so disempowered that we keep doing the very things that cause our pain anyway.
So it’s just important for you to learn, you’ve got to learn how to trust yourself if you’re going to lose weight in 2023. So that comes down to trusting yourself enough to try lots of things to see if it’s going to work, trusting yourself enough to if something isn’t working, you’ll never beat yourself up over it again.
For example, a lot of my clients, the way that I teach weight loss, if you listen to my podcast Losing 100 Pounds, which you’re probably listening to it now or maybe you’re watching this video on YouTube, one of the things that we have to understand is that we have got to learn how to listen to our body for what its energy demands are instead of listening to calorie counting apps, listening to meal plans and listening to things outside of us. So that means that when you first get started trying to… Well, here’s the class…
Everybody, if you know me at all, you know that I teach a method called Doable Hunger. The Doable Hunger method only comes with two questions. Number one, before you ever put anything in your mouth, you’re just going to ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” And if you’re not hungry, guess what? You don’t eat. Alert the media. I mean, let’s call the news. But seriously, if you aren’t hungry, we don’t need to eat. Your body is your best calorie counting app. Your body is your best energy expenditure app. It will let you know if it’s hungry. But while you’re trying to learn to do that, you have to trust that in the beginning sometimes you’re going to miss the signals, but you got to trust that you’re going to keep listening. You got to trust that you’ll be able to one day understand them. You got to trust that your body wants to operate the way it was designed.
And then the other side of Doable Hunger, we’re going to call the media one more time, but instead of eating until your stretchy pants now feel like a vice, we are only going to eat to the point in which we feel enough like we’ve had enough. Not full, not like we got our money’s worth, but until we have had enough. And enough means that you’ve emotionally feel confident that like, “All right, even if I want more because I paid for it, or even if I want more because everyone else is eating, or even if I want more because my plate’s not cleaned, or even if I want more because it tasted damn good, my body actually has enough. So I can trust that I can stop. And if for some reason I’m wrong, I’ll just go back and get more. Not a big deal.” We have got to have trust that we are going to try things. And then through that process you’ll miss signs.
Sometimes you’ll forget to fucking ask the questions, and that’s okay. Building trust with yourself says, “I’m not beating myself up anymore because I don’t do things perfectly. What I am going to be is someone who when it doesn’t go perfectly, if I forget, if I miss it, if I just say, ‘Fuck it, I want to eat anyway,’ at the end of the day when it’s all over, I stop trying to shame myself. I listen for the negative Nancy going on in my head and I remind myself, I trust myself enough to try again. I trust myself enough to not beat myself up right now. I am learning how to trust my body. I am learning how to trust myself so that I can lose weight in 2023.”
The second thing, this is a sign that you’re going to lose weight in 2023, and that is you see success versus dismissing it. Now if you’re a woman, you need to hear this. So whatever you’re doing right now, pay attention. As women, we generally do not give ourselves credit for succeeding until we’ve achieved the goal. What we do is we shit on ourselves all the way to the goal, like, “You’re doing good, but you’re not there yet. Don’t get too cocky. I mean, you got lucky this week on the scale, but let’s make sure we don’t count on that. We got to stay good.” We do so much dismissing of our success, and you’re not going to be able to lose weight doing that. Here’s why. It feels like shit. It feels gross.
I want you to think about it’s like you’re hiding or it’s like walking through a minefield. It’s like, “Well, I’m really lucky I haven’t blown my legs off.” We don’t want to do that. That’s terrifying. And when you are trying to lose weight terrified, you do need breaks. So often it’s like it’s not your diet’s fault. Now, I don’t agree with most diets out there, but I’m just going to tell you, we got to quit blaming all the diets. We have to take ownership that no weight loss program, no weight loss strategy will ever work in the long run if we always are timid, doubting, scared, fearful, and apprehensive. That’s why so many diets end up not working.
Now, I don’t agree with most diets. A lot of them are giving you some bullshit, fucking rules to follow. They are depriving, they are restrictive. They don’t allow you to listen to your body. They don’t take in consideration your lifestyle. They’re not teaching you the skills like these things are. But at the end of the day, no matter what you do, you’re never going to lose weight unless you learn how to start seeing progress points. Because I want you to think about this. If over the next 60 days you were to get in there every day and give your best effort, you were to pay attention, you did not beat yourself up, every little piece of improvement you actually told yourself, “See, I’m seeing things change. See, this is me becoming a new version of me. See, this is a little different than yesterday, a week ago or a month ago,” you’re going to feel better, you’re going to feel encouraged. You’re going to start experiencing some hope.
And I know this because when I was losing weight, oh my god, one of the first things I told myself, I was over 250 pounds sitting on the couch trying to figure out, “What the fuck am I going to do?” Literally, what the fuck am I going to do? And I remember thinking about the things that I was going to do in order to lose weight. One of the things I realized is, “Corinne, you cannot set yourself up to fail. You have to start where you’re at. And where you’re at right now, you cannot call it not good enough, you cannot call it too small, you cannot say it’s going to take forever.” I had to have truthful conversations with myself, that wasn’t good enough was sitting around expecting myself to be someplace that I just wasn’t emotionally ready yet, what wasn’t good enough was doing nothing because I couldn’t do all of it. That was truly not good enough.
So I had to get really good at understanding what I call old Corinne thinking versus new Corinne thinking. And this is why you got to start seeing your successes all along the way because at the end of 60 days if you’re thinking like that, you’ll get to the end of 60 days and you won’t be wore out. You’ll be doing it by encouraging yourself. You’ll be doing it by motivating yourself. You’ll be doing it by cheerleading yourself. You’ll be turning down those voices that slow you down, make you scared, have you on edge, wear you emotionally out.
So here are some of the ways that I think is important for you to see potential. Your potential in weight loss is not defined by the scale and your measurements. That is one way that we can look at some stuff to just see are we making some progress on the physical component. But progress can’t just be measured with the physical, it also has to be measured in other ways.
Here’s the main reason I want to teach you this. I have an entire course inside my membership, the No BS Weightloss membership dedicated to conquering the scale, really understanding how the scale works. And one of the things that I talk about in that course plus our stalls and plateaus course is weight loss is just not linear, which means I’ll draw it out for you. When we think about weight loss, here’s our brain on weight loss drugs.This is how we are thinking it’s supposed to go. And if it’s not going in a straight line down, we start thinking things like, “I must be doing something wrong. I must be a failure. See, I’ll never lose weight.” This is the hard part. And this is not how weight loss works. This is how scientifically you can argue all day long. If you want to sit there and feel like shit that your weight loss isn’t happening according to your fake ass definition, more power to you, give that a whirl. I guarantee you it causes you to quit your weight loss programs.
But here’s how weight loss really works. It trends down. It has times where your weight loss levels out for a little bit. That is your body resetting and recalibrating and doing its designed programming and be like, “Oh, let’s slow this weight loss up a little bit. I just need to make sure there’s no imminent danger. Like, you’re not in a starvation famine are you? You’re not doing something bullshit diet, are you? You don’t have something physically wrong with you, are you?” You want your body to do that. And then it starts the weight loss again. And then sometimes it’s going to spike a little and it ain’t because you’re a loser, it’s because sometimes your body needs to react to things. It’s like, “Oh, maybe you start working out.” Well, hell yeah. When you start strength training, you’re not going to gain fat. You’re not breaking out in fat because you’re lifting weights. You’re tearing your muscles up. They’re going to hold a lot of water.
The only way a muscle can burn fat, get tighter, get leaner and do its job is it’s got to hold a fuck ton of water because that’s the repair molecules that it needs in order to get you your weight loss. But here’s what you bitches do. You lift a few weights, you weigh in, you freak the fuck out and you stop lifting weights and go get a cheeseburger and you’re like, “See, lifting weights always derails my weight loss.” No, it don’t fuck don’t.” Lifting weights didn’t do a damn thing. You’ve given up and not understanding your physical way that your belt did. You sitting there with false ass expectations that aren’t based in science, well that screwed you up, but let’s not blame the weights. Let’s just get real. You got to see more progress points.
So here are some of the ones that I know that someone who’s going to lose in 2023, if you’re going to lose weight, here’s some of the things you’ll notice. You do less “Fuck it, eats.” What’s a, “Fuck it, eat”? It’s where, “I feel like shit because the scale didn’t go down as fast as I thought it should so I treated myself to a pity party at McDonald’s.”
When you start learning how to trust yourself, when you start learning how to manage your mind, when you start learning how to lose weight the way I teach it, you have less and less of those eats. You start realizing, “Hmm, if I didn’t lose weight this week, it’s probably a good reason why I should investigate it, I should look into it, I should make some tweaks for the next week or I should be patient.” But here’s what doesn’t work. A pity party at with Ronald McDonald has never helped anyone lose their weight. And you need to know that.
Another thing, here’s a weight loss progress point, less self loathing. As you lose weight, you have to learn how to stop talking to yourself like an asshole. You cannot be the kind of person who… Like, if you want to lose your weight and you want to one day stand in the mirror and just be like, “I love you girl. You did it. We did it,” and you want to appreciate yourself and you want to be proud of everything you did, that means that you right now has to quit talking to yourself like an a-hole. You have to quit walking into your closet and looking in the mirror and nitpicking your body apart because there will be you in the habit of nitpicking your body apart at your goal weight.
You’ll have a few moments where it’s just like, “Woo! I did it, this is amazing.” And then you’re going to go into the habit of like, “Yeah, if I’d only started losing weight earlier, that ass, it wouldn’t be so saggy. Maybe if I just lose five more pounds, this one part that I hate will look better.” We all do this. But if you’re going to lose weight in 2023, you have to learn how to talk to yourself. And so if you are going to make progress, you got to start seeing all the successes. Are you talking better to yourself? Are your “Fuck it, eats” going down? Are you paying more attention to how you eat?
My clients, one of the things that they start noticing is they’re like, “When I first started, it was really hard to wait for hunger, I’d forget. I was so used to eating by the clock. I was so used to just eating when everybody else ate that I’d just forget.” And a huge progress point for them in the first 60 days is at the end they’re like, “I don’t forget to ask am I hungry anymore. Sometimes I still eat, but now I notice I don’t ever forget. I’m just in the habit of questioning ‘Am I hungry?’ and that’s so good because the majority of the time when it’s no, I can talk myself out of eating. I can ask myself, what do I really need in this moment?”
Another thing, a lot of your overeating starts going down. So you may not be done with overeating, but you might notice that at the… When my clients start with me about the end of 60 days, when they’ve started the over to overeat, let’s say you’re eating cookies, in the past they’d start eating cookies and they would just finish them. And what they notice is when they start to feel full and they’re eating cookies, instead of thinking, “Well, I might as well just finish.” They notice, they’re like, “You know what? I’m so glad I caught myself.” Progress is stopping. Progress is telling myself, “I can have these anytime I want no need in overeating them now.”
And then the last thing is talking yourself out of some of your emotional eating moments. A lot of my clients, one of my favorite clients, Tanya, she had this amazing statement that she told me one time. She was a success story who had lost… I can’t remember how much weight did Tanya had lost. She’s like 40 or 50 pounds. And she said, “I was standing in my refrigerator one day and had a really bad day. I was looking for something to eat. And I remember thinking to myself, ‘I just want to feel better. You’ve had a long day and it sucked’.” And then she said, “Another voice came into my head in that moment and it said, ‘What you need is not in the fridge. What you need is a good cry’.”
And when she told me that, I was like, this is everything for all of us who really want to lose our weight. So many of us, the biggest problem we have with weight loss is we don’t know how to be there for ourselves and the moments we need ourselves the most. We only know how to do it with food. And yay us. I tell my clients this all the time. For some of us, the best thing we could do was to eat because we didn’t have anybody else or any other way to cope with what was going on.
I think about my 12 year old self, I keep a picture of her on my desk. She was bullied for being so overweight. This is my eighth grade picture and I weighed over 210 pounds. I was about 5’3″. It was not easy. The kids were not nice about it. Every day I would get made fun of out loud. I had teachers that wouldn’t do anything about it. I had some teachers that participated who talked it down to me about my weight. I had one PE teacher that used to sit me on the bleachers and tell me the kids didn’t want me on their teams because I was too overweight and slow so just sit this one out. Well, it’s hard.
And my 12 year old self, she did not know how to feel better until she started eating. It was the only thing that offered her peace and relief. She wasn’t going to go to a new school. No one was coming to save her, she had to save herself. And the way I got through school and the reason why I am the person I am today is because my 12 year old self coped with some food to get me to this point. What I realized after I became an adult was there is no shame that I cope with food. I just don’t want to be that person anymore. I’m just at a point in my life where I want to cope in new ways. That doesn’t make the version of me that wants to eat bad. It makes me a version of me who sees there’s other ways and we’re ready to figure that part out.
So the last thing when it comes to how do we know if we’re going to lose weight in 2023 is you are not always putting yourself first. I know this goes contradictory to everything you hear like, “Get that oxygen mask on first and rah, rah, rah, rah.” I just don’t believe in that. If you’re going to lose weight in 2023, you’re going to be the kind of person who sometimes puts other people first and you like your reasons but you never fall off the list. The people who are going to lose weight in 2023, they know when they’re showing up for other people because they want to, not because they have to. Sometimes they do make sacrifices because they love people, not because they want them to like them, not because they’re afraid they’ll be judged. So it’s not about it’s either you first or them first, that is such black and white thinking. Someone who loses weight knows how to keep themselves on their own list. They know that nobody has to be first. This is not a race, it is not a competition. That’s just not how life is.
All I ask is that in those moments when you notice that you’re not going to be able to do something you planned for your weight loss, do you like your reason for not doing it? There’s a difference between liking your reason being like, “This makes sense,” versus “I just don’t want to,” or “My kids will be mad at me if I don’t do it.” We have to really learn how to truly stay on our own list. Sometimes that means that we will put ourselves first and we look at it and we use our rational self to explain, “This is not being selfish. No one’s getting hurt. Everyone’s going to be just fine.”
I might be afraid of what they’ll think, but when I think about it rationally… Let’s say that you want to go for a walk every afternoon. I have so many of my clients, I don’t even propose weight exercise as a weight loss tool at all, but a lot of them want to take walks in the afternoon because they’re like, “I want to move my body and it’s a good opportunity for me to de-stress a little bit so I’m going to take these walks.” Well, they get home, they ain’t seen their kids all day and they’re wanting to go do this 30 minute walk. They convince themselves that their family’s going to be mad, that it’s so selfish and all these other things.
And then when I ask them about it, most of the time, this is what they tell me. “No. At the end of the day, I think my family would rather me take the walk so I’m not like an uptight bitch all night long because I didn’t de-stress,” or “I’m sitting around moody because all the only way that I did take care of myself was do more chores while eating a Snickers or eating some chips out of the pantry. Then the rest of the night I’m moody because I didn’t get my walk, I ate my face off and I feel like my life is shit.”
When they kind of really think about it, they start realizing, “There’s only one person in the world making me wanting to go for that walk a problem, and that’s my thinking.” And when you see all that and you learn how to see all that, it is so much easier to take care of yourself. And so the last thing that I want to tell all of you, this is I think like the bonus lesson. This is how I know someone will succeed in weight loss in 2023. It’s if you realize it is a lot easier to take care of something you love than it is to take care of something you don’t give a shit about. All of these lessons are all about taking care of yourself, building trust with you, highlighting your successes and your progress points, keeping yourself on the to-do list. And if you do all of that stuff, because at the end of the day you start reminding yourself, “I am worth this.”
Maybe you’ve talked terribly to yourself for a long time. You’re just decided “It doesn’t work. There has to be things that are right about me. I must have some strengths in me. There are some things I know to do.” When you try to lose weight from loving you, you’re going to take better care of yourself in a much more effortless way.
But when you’re trying to lose weight from disgust, you don’t like you, and shame, you’re just going to probably fizzle out. And this is coming from someone who’s helped thousands of women lose weight. That’s usually the biggest difference between my success stories and the ones who don’t succeed, is the success stories, they argue with themselves for the version they want to be. They are constantly telling themselves why they are worth the work. They are working really hard on arguing for why they can do this, how they can make it easier on themselves versus arguing for all the time like, “Let me prove to you that I can’t lose weight. Let me tell you all the ways I’ve messed up. Let me tell you about every failed diet I’ve had. Let me tell you why it’s going to be so much harder for me. Let me tell you all the things that I’m just different. I’m not going to be able to do these things.”
You got to choose where you’re going to argue. You’re either going to argue for yourself or you’re going to argue against yourself. And my best advice for 2023 if you want to lose weight is you start working with someone who can teach you how to argue for you. That’s what I do inside of No BS. Not only do I give you the frameworks for how to lose weight, that build trust with your body that are simple steps, but we coach you and we teach you and we show you how do you start doing this in a way where you’re arguing more for who you want to be than you are arguing for why you can’t be her.
All right, y’all have a good week and I’ll see you next week.