March 11, 2022

Episode 258: Can I Lose Weight If…

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On the 3rd Tuesday of the month, I go Facebook Live to answer questions from listeners of the Losing 100lbs with Corinne podcast.

When you listen to this week’s podcast, you’ll hear me answer all kinds of questions. Things like can I lose weight if…

I’m in menopause?

I’m 80 years old?

I travel a lot for work?

I feel fake and weird trying to treat myself better?

I love food?

I answer these questions and many more. Make sure you listen because it was an hour of powerful weightloss help.

Listen to Episode 258: Can I lose weight if… and share it with someone who needs it.

Transcript

Corinne Crabtree:

Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Hello everyone. I’m going to get situated here. I am Corinne Crabtree. I am the host of the Losing 100 Pounds podcast. I am also the founder and CEO of the No BS Weight Loss Program. And I am here to talk all things weight loss, it’s Q&A day. So it’s like Hercules like, “Q&A day, Q&A day.” So you get one a month for the public, for all my podcast listeners today is the day. So all you need to do is you need to ask your questions inside of the chat. And then my team will be filtering me lots of questions, we’re going to get through as many as we possibly can today. Just a few things you should know, if you are brand new to me, I cuss a lot. If you are brand new, you need to go and the No BS free weight loss course first. Everything that I teach that is the backbone of it. So much of this shit is not going to make sense if you are used to tired ass diets, like Weight Watchers, and calories, and MFPying, and Ketoing, and God knows what else is even out there.

 Corinne Crabtree:

If you’re used to all those shenanigans, my shit seems very confusing, because I keep it super simple. You’ll be like, “Well, where’s all the work?” It’s like, “We don’t do a lot of work. We change how we think, and we quit eating like assholes.” That is the premise of everything that I teach. So you will want to go and take the free course that is over at NoBSFreeCourse.com. Make sure you do that, do yourself a solid. Rule number two while we’re here, make sure you’re listening to my podcast. I got hundreds of episodes, jack loaded with good information about weight loss, nobody needs to bitch and moan for a hot second and is like, “Well, I know you have a membership and I can’t get in.” It’s like, “I don’t give a shit.” You know what you need to do? Quit giving a shit about what you can’t do. Start paying attention to what you can do.

 Corinne Crabtree:

I got a baller ass free course, over half a million people have been through it. I got a baller ass podcast that ranks stop 20 and in health in iTunes every fucking week. And there’s hundreds of videos, there’s I mean, hundreds of podcasts for you and you get a free Facebook Live. Those who want to do will do, those who want to bitch and moan will sit around and bitch and moan and get no fucking where with their weight loss. All right. So as you can tell, I’m a very dominant personality. I like to just say it like it is, and we’re going to get started. So let me pull up all the things. If you’re here before I answer the first question, please, please, please make sure that you tag someone that you know should be here.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So if you’re one of my No BS women, if you’re a No BS Woman use #NoBSWoman, give us one sentence why it is amazing to be one, and then if you have an accountability group, tag your partners, because this is the free one and everybody all always wonders, “I missed Corinne’s free thing that one time.” It’s like, “You all got so much content on the inside, it amazes me that you all get upset when you miss something.” But make sure you tag them. And then if you like this and you think other women should hear this, because we’re tired of the tired ass rules that the diet industry’s putting on us, please share to your page.

 Corinne Crabtree:

All right. First question, “How do I beat my fast food cravings? I have them all the time.” Well, the first thing that we do is we don’t beat them. You all going to have to quit talking about shit like we’re going to the fight club. We are not going to the fight club when it comes to the scale, when it comes to fast food, when it comes to cookies, when it comes to hunger. You all got to quit saying, “I need to fight, fight, fight.” I just want, everybody take a collective hot second. When you think I need to fight this, I want you to think about your body. How does it feel? It doesn’t get expansive? And it’s like, “Oh my God, I’m so ready.” It’s more like, we tense up. We have to quit talking about food like it’s some kind of mortal enemy that we’re going to have to defeat. It is not true.

 Corinne Crabtree:

If you’re having fast food cravings, number one, take this fucking free course, because you can plan to have those things. But here’s the deal, I teach everyone a very simple concept. You going to wake your ass up in the morning, you going to get you a piece of paper app. If you’re one of my members, guess what you’re going to do? You’re going to use your custom No BS planner. I ask you all the questions and outline everything you need to figure out for yourself, for the day in order to have a successful day to get your shit straight, get your mind right, say some good things to yourself and think about some of the problems you’re going to have and overcome them. But for the rest of us, here’s all you need to do. Breakfast, lunch, dinner snacks, “What the fuck I want to eat today? What I got going on today? Am I going to have time to make some kind of Martha Stewart miracle happen tonight after work, or do I need to hit the fast food place?

 Corinne Crabtree:

Because it’s tight and I’m not going to want to cook. And I already know that about myself, and I would rather write down what I’m going to eat ahead of time than to keep on doing this stupid narrative.” Which is, “Such a long day. Ain’t no way I can cook tonight.” And then we just give into our immediate whims and we give into our wants and desires of the moment, we whoop our ass on into McDonald’s and then we order extra shit because we’re disappointed in ourselves because we’re not going home to make the Martha Stewart miracle. It’s boneheaded, but we all do it. So here’s what we got to do. You write down, “I’m going to McDonald’s tonight, I’m going to get me a happy meal instead of a number two supersized,” or whatever they even do now. God Lord, you all, it’s been years since I actually ate the fast food.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Now I used to eat it all the time and I was losing weight. I had to plan it, I really liked it. It was a part of my thing, but nowadays I just don’t. I don’t need it emotionally anymore. I don’t think that fast food… in my mind, fast food nowadays isn’t convenient. This is something I think that you all need to think about too. When it comes to fast food in particular and talking about the cravings. A lot of you have a story about your fast food, “It’s convenient,” “I just love it,” “I don’t cook good.” When you keep telling all of that, you give yourself no reason to ever explore eating a different way. All of that will feel true, all of that will feel real and you’ll keep doing it.

 Corinne Crabtree:

But this was one of the things that I did when it came to fast food, I debated how convenient it was. I started telling myself, “Here’s how it actually is not convenient. I have got to, every time I eat it, deal with my indigestion.” I also was having to take the Fiber One to keep my poop going. So that took extra time. It also, I spent incredible amounts of time Googling and researching the next diet because I weighed 250 pounds. I started figuring out that like, “oh, I can’t just keep talking about fast food like it’s fucking sexy beast, and then wonder why I keep wanting it.” I had to start talking about it. Like it was a jerk who was cheating on me, stealing my money. I had to stop wanting it. But most of you the way you try to stop wanting it is, “I’m going to keep my sexy story and just tell myself, ‘No, you can’t have that. You’re too overweight.’” And we talk to ourselves lik an asshole.

 Corinne Crabtree:

That doesn’t make us want it any less, it makes us want it more when we talk to ourselves like a asshole. So you have to think about the way that you’re even describing these things. We crave things for a variety of reasons. We crave things because of the way we talk about it, the way we imagine it, how we can’t live without it. We crave it just because it’s a habit, it’s a routine. I’m whipping my ass in there. So some of the things to do, number one, is write shit the down. Wait, if you’re going to have fast food, make a rule with yourself from now on. I don’t eat fast food unless I’ve planned it. I put it on my plan, I pick exactly the foods I want, and I don’t go in there and order bonus shit because I feel defeated and guilty and awful about myself. I just put it on my plan. That’s one way.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Another way to break it, is a lot of times for me, one of the things I had to do, is I had to change the route I drove. It was such a little hack, but it really helped. It took me a little bit longer to get to the places I wanted to go, but when I quit driving by my favorite haunts, the temptation, the trigger in my mind to want to whip in there didn’t happen because I wasn’t setting myself up for it, so that’s another thing. And then a third prong approach is, listen to how you’re fucking talking about it. If you’re making love to McDonald’s in your mind and with your chatter, don’t expect yourself to hate it. Don’t expect yourself to choose something different. We choose the things that we got the sexy talk around.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So make sure that you listen to how you describe those things. For my No BS women, you all feel free to go on in and talk about it in Facebook group, I’ll be in there. I’ll be in there tomorrow a lot. So if you want to get in there and you want to talk about what we’re talking about now, when it comes to fast food, get in there, me, the coaches, community team, we all get in there and we’ll help you out with it. All right. “I’ve been working from home for almost two years, it has been impossible to stick to planned eating in the afternoon. My shitty thinking takes over and I don’t know how to stop it. How do I stop the stupid snacking that I’ve been in between 2:00 and 3:30?”

 Corinne Crabtree:

Number one, you got to quit describing it like you’re doing a novella. This is not Telemundo. So you need to make sure that you tone your ass down. You’re talking to yourself like a complete ass wipe, seriously. Like, “My stupid snacking.” It’s just snacking. You don’t need to make this more dramatic, you don’t need to get your body up in a uproar of shame and disgust in order to solve a problem. For all of you, stop trying to shame and disgust yourself about your body, about your food, about your habits and about all the things, and thinking, “Well, that’s going to be a delightful way to get my ass moving.” It’s not motivating, it’s demotivating. So we got to take the language down. So, “I’ve been working for home for almost two years.” You got to quit saying, “It has been impossible to stick to planned eating in the afternoon.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

If you have had one fucking afternoon that you didn’t eat, maybe it was even in a meeting, I don’t give a damn what it was, it’s not impossible. Every time you tell yourself, “It’s impossible,” your brain thinks of like, “Good Lord, it’s 365 times two. Let’s just say nearly 770 days.” I don’t even know what the math is, so I’m going to go 770. 770 days, I’ve not been able to not snack between 2:00 and 3:30. A lot of times what we do is we describe things in such inflammatory ways, it’s crazy. I would just say, “2:00 to 2:30 is going to be the time I focus on not snacking. So what ideas do I have for that?” When you just say it like that, it’s so much different than sitting around and talking about it like a ass wipe. So there’s number one.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So my shitty thinking takes over. You need to know what thinking that is. This is what I teach my members. If you’re one of my members, you know we have the TFD cycle. All right. I’m just going to give you all the tea. So your thought comes in and you can write any thought you want right here. So shitty thinking about snacking like, “You deserve it, you’re bored. It’s too hard not to snack. You’re going to starve. If you don’t eat something before five o’clock, you’re likely to chew your arm off.” Whatever your thoughts are. First and foremost, you’ve got to know what they are. We can’t change something that we don’t loudly hear. So a lot of you want to start changing thoughts before you turn the volume up.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So number one is you got to turn the volume up and you just have to be in a space of like, “This is me trying to talk myself into snacking. These are the things I tell myself to try to talk myself into snacking.” We’ve got to first and foremost, turn the volume up and then let you get really comfortable with the idea that these aren’t commands, these aren’t thoughts that are tripping you all up. These aren’t just things you think, we’ve got to get the ones that are flying under the radar loud and clear. We got to get them all brought to the top, and then we have to tell ourselves, “And these are the things that my brain offers to try to get me to eat. And today I’m only going have my planned snacks. That’s what I’m going to do. Today, just today. I’m going to choose to eat my planned snacks, not just eat whatever snacking.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

Then you get to start going to, what I call the next level, which is, “I’m so good at hearing my shitty thoughts.” This is what comes up with my clients, every fucking Sunday when I do my weight loss, 90 minute to two hour church session on Sundays with everybody, people will just say, “I’m just having these thoughts. I don’t know what to do.” And it’s like, “Well, what are you telling yourself when you hear them?” “Nothing, I’m just acting on it.” You got to tell yourself something. If you’re saying, let’s say that your thought is at three o’clock, “I’m going to starve if I don’t have something, dinner’s not till 6:00.” You can’t just sit there and be like, “Oh God, now I want to eat. This is terrible. I wish I wasn’t a snacker.” You can’t do that. You actually have to have a counter thought to that one. It’s like, you got to play ping pong and you want to keep the ball going.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So you need to counter back with, “I don’t think I’ll starve. When I look at my thighs and my ass, it appears I have sustenance.” I don’t know about you all, and this isn’t even me beating up my body, but when I look down, I ain’t starving for a while. Ain’t going to take Corinne just a little bit to be at starvation levels. My body would kick in. I might get hungry, but these are the comments you got to tell yourself. You got to say, “Maybe I get hungry before six o’clock, let’s just see. It might not be that bad. I’m open to whatever happens. Worst case scenario, if I get overly hungry, I eat a snack. I was fixing to eat one when I wasn’t hungry, so maybe it wouldn’t be bad if I just waited for actual hunger.” Those are the things we have to think, but you all just want to have a shitty thought and then be like, “Oh God, shitty thought, now what?”

 Corinne Crabtree:

It’s like, say something back. I like to think about my brain like it’s a tennis or a ping pong match. We’re just hitting the ball back and forth. I’ll show you. So you all know we call it, oh shitty, new hotness. And they’re playing ping pong and their job is to keep it going back and forth between each other until I figure out like, “All right, I’m not going to eat the snack.” Now, another way to address this is start planning a fucking snack during that time. If you’re eating every day during that time, then fucking plan a snack. I tell my clients all the time, some of you all may not be ready to give that snack up yet, you need to know why you’re eating, you need to understand, what are the thoughts that you’re having, what are you afraid of? Are you actually hungry? All the things. So I just have them plan.

 Corinne Crabtree:

And I have them plan what they’re doing now, not what they think they should eat. If you’ve been grabbing a Snicker so that you don’t turn into a bitch every afternoon, then we ain’t going to put grapes and expect like, “Well, that’ll fix things.” I would put that Snicker down. And this is why, because when you put the Snicker down and then you’re like, “All right, so before I eat, I need to make sure I’m hungry. Oh, I’m not hungry. I have the Snicker planned.” You want to have the conversation in your brain of, “I’m wanting to eat a Snicker when I’m not even hungry. It’s on my plan. I’m feeling the urge to have it.” You want to understand the urge, you want to understand why you want it so bad.

 Corinne Crabtree:

You want to be able to ask yourself, “What is it about this Snicker that I think it’s going to solve for me? What is it going to do for me? If I’m not hungry, it’s not solving hunger, so what is it really doing for me? Is it entertaining me, is it passing the time?” Whatever. Getting to know those things is super important in weight loss, all of you, all of you. We’re all overweight for the most bullshit of reasons. Things like wanting to eat a Snicker in the afternoon because we’re tired and we don’t want to sit there and think about how many hours are left until we get off work. So we go and we need a Snicker to pass the time. That is why we’re overweight. So it’s not so much about somebody else giving you one more range of points, one more group of calories to follow, another meal plan, all this other stuff.

 Corinne Crabtree:

I know a lot of you think that’s the stuff that works, but for every one of you that’s done that in the past, and for every one of you that’s quit at some point, you quit because at some moment, emotionally, you wanted to eat and you didn’t want to follow that plan. Those things can’t control your emotions, they can’t fix your thinking. They can’t do anything. They can tell you what to do, and for most of us, we can follow it until the newness wears off, shit hits the fan in our life or our old excuses come up, because once that newness wears off, once the initial motivation enthusiasm wears off, guess what happens, all your self-talk comes back. How you talk to yourself all day long is loud and clear. It’s not thinking about how exciting your new Keto plan and workout buddies are, now you’re starting to think like, “I really thought this weight loss would happen faster. It’s not happening fast enough, I wonder if that means we can even lose weight. Remember that diet that you quit a long time ago? I think you’re going to quit again.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

Your brain goes into haywire. Your brain starts noticing like, “It’s so hard. I mean, my family gets to eat things that I don’t get to have.” And we get all this drama going and all this emotion. And then we quit. Won’t matter what’s on the plan, won’t matter what the app’s telling us. Your emotion will always overwrite if you do no not know how to listen to your thinking and how to adapt your thinking so that you can quit eating out of response to, “It’s unfair,” “I’m afraid I can’t lose weight,” “She’s thinner than me,” “He’s got it easier,” “They brought in free donuts, I’m afraid I’m going to miss out,” “Everybody’s going to margaritas,” “I don’t want to be the one.” That’s the kind of crap that we have to clean up if we’re going to lose weight.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“I actually despise food and don’t have cravings anymore. I eat my feelings. How do I stop myself on the exact moment I’m reaching for shit?” Well, you have to understand your feelings first. So you got to know what your feelings are, and every feeling is driven by a thought. So when you are reaching for something, stop yourself and say, “What am I thinking right now?” And especially if you’re saying, “I’m eating my feelings,” what feeling am I hoping that this hamburger, this piece of cake, this ice cream is going to fix, is going to take care of, is going to prevent me from feeling, and why don’t I want to feel that?” So if you’re a No BS Woman, and that was your question, in April, you’re going to love to trust your body month because we are going to be talking about eating our feelings.

 Corinne Crabtree:

We’re going to be talking more about starting with our feelings instead of our thinking, to figure out our food, to figure out things. So April is trust your body month. Until then, what I would do is I would go back through module three of No BS, go through the overeating and urges module, and then follow that up with urges 2.0. Because all you’re doing when you’re eating your feelings is you’re having an urge to eat, to get away from or create a feeling for yourself. And those two things will help you. “Can you lose weight through menopause?” Yep. If you’re a No BS Woman and you have lost weight through menopause, please tell your age and how much you have lost and use #NoBSWoman. I have got plenty of them. There’s not a day that goes by that someone in their sixties and seventies is posting in our group saying, “I’ve lost 20 pounds,” “I’ve lost 50 pounds,” “I’ve hit maintenance.” All kinds of things.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“How do you get over the awkward feeling of talking positive about myself to myself?” It takes time. That’s a really good question. If that was your question and you’re a No BS Woman, when we do relationship camp weekend, that is actually one of the things that we do discuss because so much of relationship camp weekend, it’s all centered on the relationship you have with yourself. And so, one of the things that I talk about in there is, when we first start talking to ourselves differently, we a lot of times have judgements about it. So if you have always been someone who talked to themselves like an asshole, and now you’re starting to celebrate your wins, and you’re acknowledging things that you’re doing, right, a lot of times our brain over corrects, and it will think you’re being arrogant.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Any kind of old school morality rules you have around like, “Women should be quiet, we should be a good girl, we should be nice, we should be polite, we shouldn’t shine too brightly. Men are the ones that are, they can go out and they can brag and they can do all these things. And that’s very acceptable for them, but it’s not for us.” When you start doing that, it sometimes brings up a lot of social conditioning, early age conditioning. And it also just brings up just a lot of our bullshit. So it might sometimes start feeling like, “Well, that’s not real,” or, “You’re being arrogant,” or, “You shouldn’t say things like that.” So that’s just a normal part of the process. One, if you’re having thoughts of like, “It’s arrogant, it’s bragging, it’s whatever.” You want to do a little bit of your journaling on why that’s not true.

 Corinne Crabtree:

And here’s just a pro tip for all of you, for all of you who have had low self-esteem or you have had a very hard time with celebrating yourself, acknowledging yourself. You’ve had a story for a long time around not being good enough, it will be, I would say impossible for you to ever get to a point to where you are considered bragging or egotistical. Just don’t even worry about that. Let someone reign you in. In my mind, I’m always like, “Let’s get the women to where someone needs to reign them in.” That’s like never happening in our society. Never. So let’s just do that. Don’t worry about that part. The other part of it is just understanding that when you’ve… I had a story for a long time that I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t thin enough, I wasn’t smart enough, I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t very lovable.

 Corinne Crabtree:

I had a lot of just early childhood trauma around all kinds of different things. By the time I was 17, I had attempted suicide. I suffered with depression through my teen years, throughout my twenties, still to this day, I deal with depression now and I have a very good handle on it, but it’s still there. It comes at different times, I feel like I’m well equipped to deal with myself now, to understand what’s going on. And so when you first start acknowledging yourself and you first start telling yourself new things, it just feels gross. It goes against everything you believe about yourself. Your internal stuff is like, “That’s not right. That’s not true.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

I want all of you to think of it this way, when you first start loving yourself, having self respect, acknowledging yourself, it is no different than if I said, “What is your dominant hand?” And you’re like, “Right.” And I took a hammer to it and said, “Now, you’re going to write with your left hand.” In three days you’re not going to be like, “This is great. I love writing with my left hand. Look how smooth everything is.” It takes a long time for it to happen, takes a long time before you get good at it, takes a long time before your brain isn’t just like, “It sucks that Corinne broke our hand. You’ve always been a righty, you’ll never be a lefty. Just think about how much your brain would argue about you writing with your left hand versus your right. It’s going to do the same thing when it comes to identity. It’s going to fight it, that’s not what it’s used to.

 Corinne Crabtree:

People are rude. Somebody must have asked about OPTAVIA and everybody’s like, “It’s crap.” I am not joking. I am sure OPTAVIA has some success stories somewhere, I have yet to find them in my membership. I’ve got thousands of women in there, and every time somebody asks about it, here’s the like out of 100 posts, 99 will say, “I spent a lot of money, it didn’t work. I gained all the weight back plus some.” One person will say, “It was all right. I did it, it wasn’t as bad as I thought, but I gained my weight back.” I have not ever had anyone, and I mean, I’m just telling you, when that many people like… You all. Here’s my thought for all of you, if you ain’t going to do it for the rest of your life, why bother starting? You going to be 80 drinking them shakes, you going to love that lifestyle. This is why I teach the most basic of basic shit.

 Corinne Crabtree:

The hardest thing that I ask people to do is write down ahead of time what you going to eat for the day? And that takes all of two to three minutes. I am okay for the rest of my life, planning what I’ll eat for the day ahead of time. Number one, because I get to put foods on there that I actually love. If I want to have chips tonight, guess what’s going to be on the plan, chips. And I love the idea that for two or three minutes a day, I get to decisively decide, how I’m going to treat myself for the rest of the day. I think that’s a good deal, because when I get started for the day, I’m not thinking about how I’m going to treat myself the rest of the day. I’m not sitting around making every decision from what’s in my best interest.

 Corinne Crabtree:

The rest of the day, I’m probably reacting a lot. I am probably just doing shit because somebody asks me. There’s all kinds of crap that happens all day long. That 23 minutes I get with myself every morning, I call it treasured fucking time. Investment in Corinne. The one time of the day that I get to put me first and nobody else. So I have a real good relationship with it. And I will tell you, I will do that until the day I die, I like that. It’s awesome. And the rest of it is just, I don’t eat unless I’m hungry, and I stop when I’ve had enough. Drink my water, get my sleep. Bitches, I can do that the rest of my life.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“I’m just getting started. I’ve started doing in 24 hour plants and it’s absolutely helping.” Yay. “My issue is that I’m a road warrior and I don’t know where in my territory I will be at lunchtime other than packing lunch every day, how do I plan for that?” You just start planning the best you can. I just got back from Las Vegas. Ask anybody, I travel a lot. I never know where I’m going to be eating most of the time. When I travel, I do not, I used to look ahead and now I don’t do that. So what I do is I make some basic guidelines and parameters for myself. So if I know if I’m traveling, I know if I’m going to stop at fast food, it’s always going to be Subway. I will wait till if I of a Subway.

 Corinne Crabtree:

If I am going to go to a sit down restaurant and I’m traveling, I’m going to look for a salad, or I’m going to look for like a steak, and a potato, and a vegetable. Or I’m going to look for a protein and a vegetable or something along those lines. Because what I know is when I am traveling for work, traveling for business, those aren’t special meals to me. Now, if I was traveling on vacation and I didn’t know where we were going, but I knew that on vacation, I wanted to be able to drink, I wanted to have some desserts and stuff. I would just plan like, “All right. Tonight, wherever we go,” I only have like two or three desserts that I really, really, really love. And if it’s not those, I don’t order a dessert. And I got to really want it.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So a lot of times, if I’m going, let’s say it’s vacation, and I go to a new restaurant. A lot of times I ask them, “Can I see the dessert menu first?” Why do you think I’m asking that you all? Number one, because I want to know, do they have strawberry shortcake? Well, I only have really, I guess I only have two. Well, I really only have two favorite desserts. Blondies, hands down, number one, all time favorite. It is the bomb. Good Lord, I love a blondie. Two is a strawberry shortcake with ice cream. It can’t be not with ice cream. Like I went someplace not too recently and they didn’t have ice cream with it, I was like, “That’s bullshit, how do you have strawberry shortcake without…” I would say that’s probably the two desserts, okay? So I always ask for the dessert menu first, if they have it, I ask myself, “Am I going to want to have dessert?”

 Corinne Crabtree:

If the answer is, yes, I eat a very light dinner, because I’m going to want to have room for dessert. I am not going to want to get to dessert and have to overeat. I’m going to get to dessert and know I got room in the end. So I just think through shit. If they don’t have a dessert, I like, then I decide, am I drinking or am I eating something? If I’m drinking, I always know I’m having wine. So you don’t have to worry about me, I’m not drinking other stuff. I’m going to be drinking wine, and then if I’m at the pool, it’s vodka and club soda, that’s all I can drink. Flavored vodka and club soda, especially if it’s watermelon vodka, it’s best vodka ever. And then if I’m not going to have drinks, because I really want something delicious as my main meal, then I pick. And I know that when I go out, I don’t do bread baskets.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So if you just notice, what I’ve done is I’ve gotten very decisive about what I love. What has earned its place in my body? One of my coaches calls their stomach a sacred space. My stomach is sacred, so you need a special invitation to even get in here. If I’m pissed or just tired or whatever, that ain’t a good invitation. That’s like inviting the local hoodlums or something to your stomach. I don’t want that. I don’t want them crashing my party. So I make sure that over time I have decided, these are the things that mean a lot to me. These are the things that I enjoy. Here’s how it’s best for me to enjoy these things and keep my weight off or lose weight, it’s a lot of thinking about who I want to be.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Here’s where you all get it wrong. You all supposed sit around and think about who you’re not, and what you’re most afraid of. And then you all sit around and think about what you can’t do. “Well, here’s all my problems. I’ve been sitting around thinking about all my problems.” I don’t spend a lot of time in that space, because it’s useless. I spend a lot of time getting to know me, what my true likes are, what matters to me. If I could live my life and enjoy these things, what would those be, how do I start incorporating that into my life? How do I build a weight loss and maintenance lifestyle around that? What are my strengths? What are the things I know I can do? When you spend time and energy there, guess what? A plan evolves. How to lose weight develops right in front of you.

 Corinne Crabtree:

When you spend time like most of us like, “Well, here’s the things that are broken, here’s the things I’m not good at. Here’s the shitty things about me, here’s what I can’t do. Here are my problems.” You don’t find any kind of answers, at all. “Can an 80 year old woman lose 10 to 12 pounds?” Yes. Your body can always lose some weight. Number one, if you’re 80 or 85, honestly, I don’t care how old you are, if you’ve got 10 to 12 pounds to lose, make sure you need to lose 10 to 12 pounds. Sometimes what we’re doing is at certain ages, what we do is we just think we should be a certain weight because that’s what we weighed when we were 30 or 40. And when we get older, sometimes our body hangs on to a little extra weight, simply because it’s healthy. It’s good for your organs.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Now, if you legit need to lose 10 or 12 pounds, that’s fine. But yes, you can do it, but no emotional eating. Everybody start with, “When am I eating because I think it’s time?” Like the clock says that’s called emotional eating. I’m not eating according to my body, I’m eating according to following the rule of the clock. When am I eating because it’s there? Just happens to be there. When am I eating everything on my plate because I don’t like wasting food? Still emotional eating because you would feel wasteful if you threw some of it out. Where are the places that we are eating that doesn’t help us, that we know that we can let go of?

 Corinne Crabtree:

“Sometimes when I’m making my plan, I don’t know what the dinner plan is. Is it cheating to put options depending on how the day went?” No, that’s not cheating at all. I put down options all the time. You all, let me address two things, number one, options are fine. In fact, in the very beginning I would put down options. I’d rather you follow it with options than to not put a plan down at all. So putting down options is fine. Now, for everybody that’s asking, “At this age, can you lose weight? At this age can you lose weight? But what about this amount of weight? What about this matter weight?” It’s a very useless question. Here’s the answer. If you want to lose weight, you can, but you’ve got to be willing to drop the mental weight first. And the mental weight is a lot of the idea of, “I can’t do it.” Versus, rather than thinking, “I can’t, but because of my age.” Say, “I’m willing to try no matter what age I am.” That’s just a difference in the way you talk about it. That’s it.

 Corinne Crabtree:

And here’s the thing, who cares about the number? All of you want to know like pounds, “Can I lose this amount of weight, this amount of weight?” What are the things that you want to change you about yourself is the biggest question to ask, what are you tired of? For me, when I was losing weight, I had over a hundred pounds to lose. I didn’t even start with the question of, “Can I lose a hundred pounds?” I started with this, “I’m so sick and tired of not being able to get in the floor and play with my child. I want to be able to take my child some place and if he ran into the street, I could catch him.” I wanted to be the kind of mom that ate foods that I would hope that my son would want to replicate. And I started figuring out who I wanted to be and started taking some steps to become her and I started thinking about the things that I didn’t want to do anymore and taking steps to start eliminating some of that crap.

 Corinne Crabtree:

I did not want to be the kind of person, I still am this person, I did not want to be the kind of person that didn’t move their body every day. Some days I go for a walk for 15 minutes, some days like today, I run for an hour. It just depends. Yesterday, I lifted weights for 30 minutes. I wanted to be someone that could move their body, I wanted to stop being someone who didn’t move their body, who couldn’t wait to sit down, who got tired when she walked up the stairs. And so if I wanted to be somebody that could go up and down the stairs, I made it my goal during the day to go up and down my stairs like five times. Didn’t have to be in a row, but by the end of the day… One of the things that I did when I first started losing weight is I made a deal that I wasn’t going to make Chris go get me anything upstairs. If I needed it, I’d go get it myself. That helped me put in some movement.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So it’s just really important for us to be thinking more about like, you all don’t get hung up in, “I’m this age and I can’t change.” Because that’s what the question starts becoming. “I’m in menopause,” “I’m 70,” “I’m 80,” and the thought underneath it is, “I can’t change. It can’t happen for me.” You can change and you can do new things at any age. There’s only one time you are not going to be able to change how you think or do new things, and that is when you draw your last breath. Up until that moment, you got life to live and it’s time you just start defining it. It’s time you just start thinking about, “What do I still want to do with my life?” I need to stop thinking about like, “It’s over for me at this age.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

I have a group inside my membership, the 55 plus group, 55 to 70 plus year olds are in there. And the biggest struggle that they have that we work on all the time is thinking that after a certain point, it’s like we just start giving up on life. We take these signals in, from society that they’re giving up on us. If we want society to quit giving up on women after a certain age, guess who has to quit giving up on them first? Us. Don’t go prove society right by listening to them and shriveling up and doing nothing with yourself. It’s on you. It is on you. If you want more for your life, today is the day to get started. There’s no better time than right now. Get out a piece of paper, write about what you want. What are you afraid to write down?

 Corinne Crabtree:

I think one of the best exercises is take a piece of paper and say, “If I wasn’t afraid of being too old,” “If I wasn’t afraid of it not happening,” If I wasn’t afraid it wasn’t going to work, what the fuck would I be doing with my life right now? Who would I be talking to, who would I not have in my life, what things would I give up? What things would I start? What things would I try? If I wasn’t afraid of the failure and I wasn’t afraid of what people would think, and I wasn’t afraid of my age, and I wasn’t afraid that I can’t do it. What would I be doing?” At least show yourself what that would be. Whether you go after or not, you can still not go after it, but at least give yourself a voice, because we got to quit waiting on the rest of the world to give us a voice. You have to do it for you.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“How do I know when I’m satisfied versus full?” It just depends on you. So when you join No BS, if you are one of our members, if you will go to module one of No BS, we actually have a PDF, a guide on all types of different body signals and clues, for both hunger and for full and satisfaction. The biggest thing, is you start paying attention. To me, when I’m full, I feel bloated, when I’m full it’ll last me like five to six hours. When I’m full, I feel little lethargic after I eat, I don’t feel more energetic after I eat. And then probably the other thing that I notice when I’m full is I’ll have indigestion.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Now everybody’s very different. It depends on what it is. When I’m satisfied, I feel like I’ve had just enough food, it can last me a while. I’m clear headed, I can get back to work easily. If I needed to go out for a walk or I needed to go do something that required energy, I wouldn’t be battling my tummy to get it done. And a lot of times with satisfied for me, I don’t feel bloated. I feel like I just had enough. “I watch what I eat for the most part, it’s more about my evening beverages. I’m depressed, angry about my current situation and the weight just keeps piling on. I’m sick of always feeling like shit, but keep falling back into old patterns.” So I wouldn’t even address anything other than your depression and your anger about your current situation. The weight is a symptom of your mind not being managed over there.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So this is just where, you’ve got to do some work on like, about your current situation, why are you so angry? You need to list out your thoughts. So the way that I teach things is we’ve got the facts of our situation, and then we have our perception, and we have our narration that goes on around it. So facts don’t cause feelings. So when you state a fact, there’s not a feeling attached to it. So let’s say you were fired at work or let’s say you’re about to get fired at work. And they’ve told you like, “You’re on the chopping block.” Only thing that’s happened is you know that you’re on the chopping block. You don’t get angry or scared until your thought is, “That’s unfair. They suck. I’ve worked here for so long and it shouldn’t happen to me.” That’s when the story comes in.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So what do you want to do is you always want to take whatever situation you’re having and you want to just write it like you’re thinking it. Just always write it down just like you’re thinking it. “Here’s my story as I tell it.” Then you go back and try to boil it down to where it’s so boring, it’s so factual, that if you showed someone, they would have to say like, “Well, how do you feel about that, what do you think about that?” If they’re not asking you how you think and feel, you ain’t got it down to facts yet. And it should just read so boring that it should leave someone questionable. They wouldn’t know whether you’re happy or sad. That’s how you break it down.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So then all you got to do after that is you start looking at, “Well, you here’s how I tell it, here’s what’s actually happening. What parts of the way that I’m telling it, am I willing to let go or I could change for my own feeling sake so that I’m not having to drink every night over it? And what parts that I’m like, ‘No, I don’t want to let go of this, I don’t like this, and I have very good reason for it. And I’m going to keep those thoughts.’” Because when you choose to keep thoughts, especially ones that anger you, you don’t need to drink over them anymore. We only drink when have an out of control story that’s making us angry and we don’t understand why we’re so mad, or we do understand why we’re so, and we’re not giving ourselves any kind of relief of thinking anything different, and we need to get away from it.

 Corinne Crabtree:

When it’s time to level up, which a level up for everybody just means that you take something that you’ve been doing and you want to tweak it for the better just a little bit. You’ve probably heard in the podcast, I call it the 1%, like we’re going to just make a 1% change. Sometimes we call it a level up. They’re both the same. It just means, “I’ve been doing this.” Let’s say you never drink water, and you are now one liter a day, a level up might be, “I’m going to drink this liter plus another eight ounces starting tomorrow.” That would be considered a level up. Speaking of, I’m going to drink some water.

 Corinne Crabtree:

When it’s time to level up, how do you figure out what to change if you’re not ready to give up certain foods? Well, level ups can happen in a variety of ways. What you can do is you don’t ever have to give up certain foods if you don’t want to, you can always keep those. You can always eat them less often. So a lot of times what a lot of my clients do, let’s say that they’re planning chocolate every night after dinner. So maybe they like to have one of those little mug chocolate muffins or something, there’s some shit on Pinterest I saw the other day. Let’s say they’re having that every night and they want to do a level up. They decide, “All right, here’s what I’m going to do, Wednesdays for the next month, I’m not having the chocolate mug. I’m going to try not having it one night to see if I like it.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

So for one month they level up that way, they might find that it’s not as bad as they thought to not have it. And then after a couple weeks, they’re like, “Now I might try two, am I going to do Wednesdays and Mondays.” So you can always change and level up when it comes to food, you can have it less frequently. You can serve yourself a little less. Sometimes you might make your big list of foods and you might say like, “Well, a lot of these, I don’t want to give up, but there’s a few of them, I’m kind getting to the point to where I’m like, “Okay, if I get to eat what I want and plan what I want, I don’t need this as often.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

It’s like me with nachos. I love nachos, they’re my all time favorite food, but I don’t need them very often, because I now know I can have them whenever I want. They’re special in the idea of, that’s a food I love to eat, but I don’t have to eat them all the time because I’ve made them available. So that just means like, if I really wanted them, I could have them. I just have noticed that now that I don’t say, “They’re bad for me, I should only have them every now and then,” blah, blah. The desire for them starts to go down, because they’re not untouchable. And a lot of times when we talk about something as if it’s some kind of like, think about anything that’s extra special, or you create this big story around it, you’re going to want it more because it seems out of reach.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So I just like to talk about foods as like, “Well, I can always plan for these things.” I just like when it comes to nachos, I’ve gotten where I’m like very picky. It’s like, I want real cheese. I don’t want queso cheese. I want to make sure that I go out to eat for them, I don’t want to make them at home anymore. I used to make a healthy version at home. Then I just got to the point of like, “If I’m going to have nachos, I just want the real deal. I want to have them when I’m out to eat and somebody else fucking makes them and then make them the way I like them. And I want to eat them that way.” It’s just sitting around and thinking about what you truly do want.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“How often should you weigh yourself? I find that too much weighing and not seeing much results is depressing.” My members weigh, we have an official weighing day on Friday. We don’t make them enter into an app or anything like that, but we encourage them to weigh in on Fridays and we have a worksheet that they fill out that helps them think through and build a loving relationship with their body and an encouraging, very scientific relationship with the number. And then they can post inside of our membership on Fridays in a thread. They can post questions, results, whatever they need help with. And then we go through and we answer everybody’s questions on Fridays.

 Corinne Crabtree:

“How to stop eating when it tastes so good.” One of the things that you have to tell yourself is something other than it tastes so good. This is a real common thing. If you’re a member, I believe I did a video on this, it may be in basics 2.0 for all of you, but I believe we have a video just where I talk about, this is one of the excuses. But basically when your brain says it tastes so good, you have to add, “And eating more doesn’t make it better.” Just because it tastes really good doesn’t mean that every bite after that gets better and better and better. A lot of times, if you’re a member, if you’ll do the fuck it foods worksheet with food that tastes really good. A lot of times that breaks the bond of that thought.

 Corinne Crabtree:

So if you go to the website and you look underneath our self-paced courses stuff, you should see are helpful worksheets and stuff, the fuck it foods worksheet is there. And we also have videos where I live walked people through. You can bring your favorite food, play that video replay and do it with us just like it was live time. And a lot of times it breaks the bond of that food. Because what you realize is that foods that tastes really good. Do taste really good, but every bite doesn’t get more orgasmic in your mouth. Now, when you’re just thinking about it tasting so good, you want to keep eating it. But that’s where we have to change the thought.

 Corinne Crabtree:

See, you think it’s a fact that it tastes so good. It’s not a fact because there’s somebody in the world thinks your favorite food is ass. Somebody doesn’t like it, so that doesn’t make it factual anymore. It means that when you look at that food, you are choosing to think about how good it tastes. You could choose to think like, “I love that I get to eat the things I want when I plan them until enough.” You could also be thinking that. And when they starts saying like, “It tastes so good,” and like, “Of course it tastes good, and I love the idea that I plan foods that taste good for me so that I don’t have to over eat them anymore.”

 Corinne Crabtree:

We all have a story that we tell about things. Our stories are either helpful or they’re damaging. Be sure that you are creating helpful stories around things. All right, everybody. Make sure that you have taken NoBSFreeCourse.com. If you have taken the free course, please make sure you have shared it with friends. Send them the link, share this replay. If you’re watching the replay tag people that should watch it, let’s get as many people watching. I will be back next month. Is it the second Tuesday? What Tuesday is this? Somebody tell me, is this the third Tuesday? Maybe it’s the third. I have two calls a month. One is business and one is this one. Can somebody just type in the channel and tell me when our calls are so I can say it out loud. Don’t everybody rush.

 Corinne Crabtree:

Third Tuesday of the month at 9:00 AM Central Time, I’ll be back. And if you take the free course, you will also get email notification so that you don’t forget. Otherwise, you all have a great month. I will see you next month. Bye, you all. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to NoBSFreeCourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit [inaudible 00:57:59]. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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