March 4, 2022

Episode 257: Now is Not the Time to Lose Weight

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There are 3 reasons people think, “Now is not the time to lose weight.”

It’s important to know these because our reasons usually sound very legit…

But they might not be. Sometimes we find justifications and excuses in our life to avoid doing something we are just SCARED of doing.

This happens in weightloss all the time. Deep down, we don’t think we can do it. We look around at our life and find a good excuse. And then we get a sense of RELIEF that right now is not a good time.

That relief is easier to feel than the fear of trying to lose weight, no matter what’s going on and regardless of what we’re afraid of.

In today’s podcast, I’ll walk you through our 3 biggest excuses. After 15 years of helping 1000’s of women lose weight, I know what you need to watch out for.

When you stop using these things as an excuse, you’ll be able to get started on your weightloss journey much easier.

Listen to Episode 257: Now Is Not the Time to Lose Weight today.

Transcript

Corinne:

Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice, you can use to overcome battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an ass hole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:

Are you ready to lose weight? Are you ready to end restrictive crazy diets schemes and lose weight the way you want to live the rest of your life? If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while now, you know that I’ve created the no BS weight loss course and the no BS weight loss community to help those who want extra support to lose their weight.

Corinne:

We only open the program for new members a few times a year, and we are currently open right now until March 5th, at 11:59 PM Central. If you want to join us, head on over to joinnobs.com and get signed up now. When you join, you’re immediately going to get access to the no BS weight loss course. This is my flagship program that puts an end to overeating and self sabotage habits, it also helps you build your confidence so that as you’re losing weight, you end up losing weight with this, never needing to worry ever again, that you’re going to put the weight back on. Everybody, that is what we want most. We want to lose our weight, but we don’t want to do it again and again and again. No BS, the mission is to teach you how to lose your weight for good and feel as amazing as you deserve.

Corinne:

Inside the membership every week you get access to life coaching calls with me and some of the world’s best no BS weight loss coaches, who all lost weight using our program. They get you, they know you, they were you. You also get live Q and A’s each and every week. Plus you’ll have 24/7 access to my entire no BS coach team, where you can ask for help, support in those moments that you need, tips on how to do things that you’ve never done before and ideas for when you get stuck and you just need a fresh approach. You’ll also get access to the no BS women Facebook community, where you can connect to other women who are on the same journey as you, because let’s face it, weight loss, it’s lonely as fuck and it’s harder when we’re trying to do it all alone.

Corinne:

So if you want to feel in control of food, if you want to feel confident that the weight loss is going to come off for good, I want you to join me. The no BS program is only open until Saturday, March 5th, 11:59 PM Central. The doors will close and they will not open again until fall of 2022. You can go to join nobs.com right now, to get more information and to sign up. I hope to see you inside.

Corinne:

All right, everybody. Welcome back. So today we’re going to be talking about three reasons why people think now is not the time to lose weight, Kathy and I were both kind of looking over the notes and we just think that this is really important because here’s one of the things that happens when we are sitting around and you’re dreaming, dreaming, dreaming about weight loss and if you’re like me, I swear to God from the age of nine, I wanted to lose weight. I know I’ve told this story before but, when I was little, my mom, she had met a guy and who ended up she married him, real nice dude. Didn’t work out between them but real nice guy. And I was nine years old and he took me to, back in the day, the Crescent Plaza. You probably know where that is in Nashville.

Kathy:

Oh yeah. I do.

Corinne:

Took me to the Crescent Plaza, Hallmark store.

Kathy:

Oh my gosh. I don’t remember Hallmark store over there. That’s a long time ago Corinne.

Corinne:

There was the Kroger that eventually closed. But then like on the other side was, I mean, there used to be a pool hall there, it used to be all kinds of stuff, a Baskin Robbins, all kinds of stuff.

Kathy:

Wasn’t there an office supply store, like a Staples or something over there?

Corinne:

The pool hall turned into an office supply store at one point-

Kathy:

That’s what I remember.

Corinne:

So, but there was a Hallmark store there for a while. And he took me there when day and said I could get anything I want. And so I looked around and I found a diary. So I bought my first diary. So Corrine, has been a little journaler from, that was like the first time I ever wanted to kind of like share my thoughts on paper. My first entry, I shit you not was, I’m the biggest girl in class, I really want to lose some weight. Like from the get go, I’ve wanted to do it. So for a lot of you, you will want, want, want weight loss. You will dream, dream, dream about it. And then your brain will come up with why now’s not the time. And our brain does that because we, my friend, Carl Lowenthal has a great podcast on this.

Corinne:

So if you guys ever want to listen to it is the Unfuck your brain podcast. And it’s called perfectionistic fantasies. I don’t know the number, but if you go through and look at her back catalog, it’s an oldie, so it’s probably at least a year or two old, probably two years old at this point. I highly recommend listening to it because she explains this concept where a lot of us have this fantasy land of when all these things happen, then I would be able to do this. And it’s basically like everything that I use as excuses and everything that I think makes things hard. I want all of that gone so that then I can do this thing that I think’s going to be hard.

Corinne:

So like when it comes to weight loss, one of the things that I tell people is the best way to lose weight and the best time to lose weight, is when the shit is hard. Because we eat over the hard shit. Wouldn’t it be great to lose your weight when you got a busy schedule when you’re running your kids everywhere? Wouldn’t it be great to be able to lose weight when you feel bad? Because most of us, what we want to do is like, I want to wait for the day where, this is what kills me. Well, the kids are going back to school, can’t start now. Well, it’s the holidays, can’t start now. Well, the kids are back in school, can’t start now. Well, it’s spring break, you can’t lose weight when they’re on spring break. Well, oh my God, it’s summer, you know our schedules are changing can’t lose weight now.

Corinne:

It’s like we sit around and we think about all the reasons why we can’t and we’re not thinking about what could we do? Why is this the perfect time to actually be starting? And so I just want to debunk some things today because I think one of the very first thing that we have to really realize is that there’s never going to be a perfect time to lose weight ever. I really want you to just start telling yourself that. There just is not going to be the perfect time. There’s going to be the time I’m willing to start, there’s going to be the time when I’m fed up with my bullshit. Most people that I know when they… Like I will say this, when I started losing weight, it was for sure not the perfect time.

Corinne:

I had a one year old, I was in postpartum depression, felt like the closest that I have felt to severe depression, where I might need to go back into the hospital was during that year. I remember laying around… I remember one time, Kathy, Chris and I, this was when it was Logan, was about a year old. And we went to Las Vegas, this was before we were in love with Las Vegas. Chris had a conference and he knew how miserable I was and he just thought that if we went to, if he, if he took me with him that maybe getting away for a little bit would just help me feel better. Like I could get a break. I laid in the suite of the Rio for three straight days with the curtains, drawn, crying my eyes out, watching Law and Order on repeat.

Kathy:

Oh my goodness.

Corinne:

That was all I did. And then when we would have to go to dinners, I went to the first one and I was so miserable that I went back to the room and looked at him and said, I am not going back to another dinner. By the third day, I told him, get me… I had never really flown by myself, I said, “Get me a plane ticket, I just want to go home. I can’t be here.” I was so depressed, but it was soon after that, where that’s, when I decided I was going to lose my weight. That I was like really tired of the life I was living.

Corinne:

I had a one year old I had, and he was very active. We did not know he had autism yet, I was kind of in the throws of trying to figure out, why is my baby not trying to talk? And he was behind on things. Chris was working really long hours, he was trying to be an executive and trying to prove himself. There was just so much going on in my life and it wasn’t the perfect time. It was just the time that I knew that it was time to change. And so, go ahead.

Kathy:

Let’s talk about that for a minute because, I don’t know if you can tell, I have my skeptical face on. I’m thinking, I have used all these excuses in my lifetime. Now’s not the time because, now’s not the time because, and it’s usually because something or someone else was pulling on me, kids, work, whatever. And as you were talking about how, when it’s hard is the perfect time, I was going, oh, no, because when it’s hard, then it’s not the time. So my brain was twisting, even though I’ve lost my weight, my brain was all twisty around what you were saying, because all I could think about was it’ll be too hard right now. Yet you chose one of the hardest times in your life to make that change. So if you could just kind of bridge those two a little bit, I think it would be really helpful.

Corinne:

I think what happens is people will say, now’s not the perfect time because it’s a hard time, rather than saying now is a really good time because if I start taking care of myself, it will make this time easier by these things. And that it’s literally just a thought shift. I knew that because I was so depressed and because I was really struggling, every day I was self-loathing because I could not, I couldn’t even go up down the stairs, holding Logan without needing to stop halfway, catch my breath and get up the rest of the stairs. For me, I had to quit thinking about how, what a tough time it was in my life to have a baby and to be depressed. I had to start thinking, I have got to get to the point to where it’s easier to take care of this baby.

Corinne:

Losing some weight would make taking care of this baby easier. Getting out of the house each day to take my walks, might improve my mood. A lot of times we use our life as an excuse, rather than trying to figure out how do I take the things that I’m saying are a hard time in my life right now and how do I say like, so how can choosing to lose weight, make that part easier? How can that be self care? How can that be caring for self? And I’m going to go through kind of what I teach as to how that can apply to those things but I think the first thing we have to really think about, and we have to let go of is, there’s just never going to be a perfect time.

Corinne:

A lot of times people say, yeah, but I’m traveling. I travel a lot for work, it would be impossible. No, it’s not impossible. Wouldn’t it be great to learn how to travel for work and not eat your fucking face off every night because you’re exhausted and then wake up the next day full of regrets and worrying that your pants are going to fit before a meeting because you keep overeating on the road? I mean, wouldn’t, it kind of be better to learn how to navigate, being able to eat on the road versus thinking it’s too hard. When you get to room service, they have hamburgers. It’s like, yeah, but it’s not that it’s hard to lose weight, it’s hard to choose the salad over the hamburger, unless you change your mindset.

Corinne:

And wouldn’t you rather get to the point to where, you learn how to change your mindset. Same thing with a lot of our clients are caring for elderly parents right now. I have a ton of clients who are in their sixties and seventies and their parents are in their eighties and nineties and they’re having to take care of them. And people use that as an excuse as it’s really hard to take care of other people and do for me. Wouldn’t it be amazing to have more energy to take care of them because you’re not just sitting around and the only way you know how to take care of yourself is to overeat. Wouldn’t you like to learn other ways to take care of yourself that doesn’t take time away from anyone and that helps you have more energy for the needs you have right now? And so it’s like just, I think the biggest part of it is rethinking it.

Corinne:

Don’t get stuck in the idea that there’s going to be a better time, a perfect time or a time where it’s not so hard. Just think about what makes this time in my life uniquely suited to go for it and how could going for it make this time of my life easier, not harder.

Kathy:

I love that. That’s a great distinction.

Corinne:

Yeah. And so one of the things that, before we get into, so that’s the first big reason why we think now’s not the time is because we get all hosed up that there’s a perfect time. One of the other things that we do to ourselves is, if you tell yourself, I’m not going to start because I’m going to use one of these three bullshit reasons. I want you to know why this happens, you will always get relief. So if you’re constantly thinking about losing weight and you’re constantly thinking about I would love to get my weight off and stuff, but if you’re worried that it’s going to be hard and you’re worried, it’s going to take a lot of time and you’re worried that you’re not going to be able to eat the things you love and that it’s going to be major disruption to everybody in your life, blah, blah, blah, you will want to say no. Because on the other side of no, it’s like a little, I don’t want to think about that anymore.

Corinne:

The problem though that I’m going to tell you, I’ve rarely met a woman that wants to lose weight and can just quit thinking about it. Most of us, we might say, now’s not the time, get a little relief and stuff and then two days later, we’ll see Jenny Craig, on TV and then we’ll be sitting there right again, thinking we should lose some weight, I wonder if I could lose some weight. Next thing you know, you’re like on Pinterest and you’re getting the ads for things and you’re seeing workouts and your girlfriend, she started some diet two weeks ago and somehow is miraculously lost five pounds. It’s all around us.

Corinne:

And so just understanding that saying now is not the right time. When you say no, you will always feel a sense of relief and that’s why we keep saying no and kicking it down the road. It’s like we get caught in this loop of, it feels good to say not now because there’s like, well, there’s the hope of a perfect time waiting for me. And we get caught in the loop of there’s a better time and it’s not now, so I’ll have the relief of not starting now and I have the hope of one day there being a perfect time and then we’re just stuck. We’re never starting. And that’s why I think it’s important to like realize we got to of quit using our life as an excuse. We got to start looking at our life and being like, I got to learn how not to eat through it. I got to learn how to show up for it without needing to eat through it in order to survive, to get through the day, to feel good about myself, to relax.

Corinne:

Most of us have taught ourselves that is the only way we can feel good or relax or comfort ourselves. It’s like, well, I’m going to have to eat. Because nobody’s teaching you how to do it in your brain. I’m teaching you how to do it in your brain, for God’s sake I hope you’re listening to this podcast every single week because I beat it in your head like a drum. It’s all I teach inside of no BS all the time. I give everybody tons of frameworks and things. I do make things easier with planners and videos and stuff, by the end of the day, we are working on your mind. Because if your mind is not worked, nothing else will.

Corinne:

So the number two reason, so we’ve got like, we’re waiting for the perfect time, the other one is, I don’t have time. So it’s like, now it’s not the time, because I ain’t got no time. And I think this is one of the things that we have to really examine. So if you listen to the last episode, was that our last episode where we talked about, all right… So our last episode where we talked about busy, and I think I we’ve got a few, I’m not 100% sure, but I can’t imagine that we’ve only talked about busy one time in the entire history of our podcast, but I’ve often talked about busy and overwhelmed and that kind of stuff.

Corinne:

But this is the thing about weight loss, you’ve been doing it wrong if it took a lot of time. Weight loss should not be a second job. Weight loss shouldn’t take you a lot of time. The way that I teach weight loss, and I’m just going to give it to you, this is what I teach inside of no BS. Don’t sit there and think that you need to spend hours and hours and hours a day to lose weight.

Corinne:

Now, if you’re having to prepare certain meals and you’re having to think or count calories and points and stuff, that does take time, I don’t don’t teach that shit for a reason. Because we want to work on how you’re thinking so you can go out in your life and you can be living your life and not be obsessing about weight and not being obsessing about your body and not… If you’re going to obsess over something, I want you to obsess over creating a life you love. I do not want you obsessing over, well let me make sure I look at that label. I got to make sure my macros are in check. I need to go look at my list of approved foods and make sure this fits into the mix.

Corinne:

I don’t want, y’all making weight loss a full-time job. Weight loss should get to where it’s just happening, because you’re changing how you think around food, you’re being very intentional with your body. So number one, the one reason why on no BS you have more time, is because you’re deciding what to eat, first thing in the morning, I tell y’all, you got two to three minutes to think about what you going to eat for the damn day and then we’re done. And the rest of the day, we’re not going to be thinking about it. And we want to think about it and we want to negotiate and we want to change our plan, that’s the mental work of it.

Corinne:

The mental work is to… Nobody loses weight being a king ding-dong negotiator as to how much food they can get away with. Or being a king ding-dong negotiator on well, I was really going to eat this today, but my boss brought in fried Churros that I been able to have in three months, so today I’m just going to eat on my whims. I’m going to eat because I don’t want to waste money. That’s emotional eating, that’s getting cleaned up.

Corinne:

So I teach everybody, you got two to three minutes in the morning to decide what you’re going to eat and then the rest of the day, you stop thinking about it. And when you do think about it, you’re like, oh wait, we got a plan. That’s what we’re going to eat today and if we would like to have that, I’ll spend two to three minutes tomorrow, making sure that shit gets on my plan. Because what most of y’all are doing are standing… This is why weight loss takes so much time, you conflate how much time it takes to lose weight with standing in front of the refrigerator, trying to decide, am I going to be healthy or am I going to just eat what I want?

Corinne:

And then doing the ping pong of, should I, or shouldn’t I, what should I do? And then you get so frustrated that you don’t just want to eat healthy, that the next thing you know, you’re ordering up Domino’s, you’re bringing that in and then you’re spending more time beating yourself up for eating pizza. And then you got to spend time in the morning figuring out like, how do I get my shit together today? Yeah, that takes a lot of time, but that’s not weight loss, that’s bullshit. So when I’m talking to y’all about like, I don’t have time, you do have time to decide what you’re going to eat for two to three minutes a day.

Corinne:

If you don’t have three minutes to write down what you’re going to put in your body for the day so that you can stop obsessing over food, you can stop worrying you’re out of control and you can stop standing around negotiating trying to figure out, am I going to do what I said or not. If you ain’t got that kind of time, you got bigger problems. You need somebody come and overhaul your life. Because we should all have three minutes a day to spend saying, this is how I’ll take care of myself. This is what I’ll put in my body today. And I have taken care of my emotional needs, I’ve taken care of my taste buds, I’ve taken care of my wants and desires and I’ve taken care of my dreams and goals. I am going to figure out how to be able to eat foods I love and lose weight at the same time.

Kathy:

I used to waste three minutes a day, 10 minutes a day, 20 minutes a day, standing in the pantry, trying to decide what I could eat that no one would notice.

Corinne:

Yes. That’s the time that we gain back when we do it the no BS way.

Kathy:

Exactly. That’s the kind of stuff that goes unnoticed when you’re wasting time thinking about food, when you utilizing time thinking about food or over eating.

Corinne:

Or like even sitting in a restaurant thinking I should or shouldn’t eat this or, you know what I’m saying? I mean, we just don’t even realize how much time we waste. And so I want y’all to save time by doing it my way. The other thing is we’re only going to be eating when we’re hungry. So we’re going to save some time. Because a lot of y’all are sitting around eating because you’re bored, eating because it was a long day, eating because you’re procrastinating on a project. A lot of y’all are sitting around saying, I ain’t got time, but you actually have some shit you need to do and you’re not doing it and so you’re eating a Snicker bar at 3:00 from the vending machine and for some reason that don’t count in your busy time, to get you some energy to go do something that you’re just simply dreading.

Corinne:

You don’t need an energy fix, you need to just do stuff even if you dread it. I’m just like, I don’t care if you’re dreading it. Like I dread shit all the time. I dread doing this podcast today. I was sitting there thinking, I have already been in three different meetings, running my mouth. One of which was a Q and A for my membership where I yelled for an hour. It’s like, now I’m going to go and with Kathy, for a couple of more hours. I was sitting there, my brain was like, oh, I don’t want to, blah, blah, blah. I didn’t go eat a snack to be like, okay and now I’m fulfilled and ready. I was like, I do shit I don’t want to do all the time. All the time.

Kathy:

And usually that stuff you don’t want to do is just surrounded by a bunch of drama in your head. You get to do it and it’s not as… That’s what I always find. I have this big dread moment and all this drama and when I finally get to it and I’m like, oh wait, that wasn’t so bad.

Corinne:

Well, not only that, but one of the things that I was teaching today inside the membership is, when it comes to dread is, there’s two ways to end dread. One is to go eat or whatever. And then you won’t feel dread anymore because you’re sitting there eating, but then you’re going to dread weighing in and then you’re going to dread selecting your clothes, you’re going to dread the thoughts you’re going to wake up with the next morning. So you didn’t really get past dread. The other way to get out of dread is to just start doing what you don’t want to do. Because once you start, you have to quit dreading. Now you may not love it, but it don’t take long for dread to be going away because you’re now you’re focused on the task. So it’s like, if you’re going to… Most of us are always going to dread things, we got to quit eating over it.

Corinne:

But when we save time, when we just eat when we’re hungry, that’s it. If we’re only eating when we’re hungry, we’ve got more time for all these things that we say we need to be doing. Most of us don’t want to be doing those things. And so, rather than just being real honest with ourselves, I don’t want to do that shit, we eat. And then we act like weight loss takes so much time. The other thing is you stop when you’ve had enough. You’re saving time, you’re not sitting there over eating, you’re not extending your meal.

Corinne:

When you eat to enough, you also over time, have to cook less food. You start realizing how much extra food you’re cooking. You’re going to save time by not cooking as much. Then you save time at the grocery store cause you ain’t got to buy as much and you go save some money on top. So learning how to stop at enough and not just keep overfilling your body, saves you time and saves you money in multiple ways.

Corinne:

And then the next one we talked about is you’re going to plan what you eat no more of having to figure out stuff. And I do not have people reinvent their food life. I promise I’ll all of you, when you start waiting for hunger and you get good at waiting for slight hunger and you get good at not feeling like you’re somehow getting cheated. If you have to wait until hunger, you start normalizing that and be like, oh, that’s the way the body was designed and you stop eating at enough, you can eat the foods you love. The problem is that we’re trying to eat the foods we love when we’re not hungry and then we eat a ton of it because we keep telling ourselves that we shouldn’t be eating it, so then we try to eat all of it. How many people, I would love to know, how many people have said, I am just going to eat the rest of these chips, so I don’t have to be tempted tomorrow.

Kathy:

Oh my gosh. I’ve done that hundreds of times, thousands in my life.

Corinne:

What if you just ate chips every single day, rather than overeating one day. What if you just planned the chips? Spread the love. It would be fine, we don’t get into trouble until we’re like hoovering the food down thinking like I’m never going to eat this one again or I’m just going to get this all out of the house and then I’ll be good. That goes back to that perfect time. We have this fantasy that we’re going to get this food out of the house and then we’ll never be tempted again, it’s like that’s bullshit.

Corinne:

Somehow them chips wander their little asses back into the house. It’s like, well I’ve been at it for a few weeks, I wonder if I can practice some control. It’s like, look, the only way to learn how to control yourself around food is to start planning them on the regular and eating them in control. Not by hoovering them down and every few weeks buying a bag and then being like, I shouldn’t be eating this and then eating them all over again. I don’t teach exercise. So that’s another thing y’all, ain’t got to worry about. You’re going to save time there.

Kathy:

And then the other thing is that our program is set up for on the go, your pace, your life. You don’t have to make dieting a second job, right?

Corinne:

No, like we just talk about, I want you spending time, I want you to figure out your food, but your issues around food, your fears around food and I want you to feel safe around them and I want you to of feel like you can have them and I want you to figure out your hunger and I want you to figure out enough and I want you to figure out how to like plan from a place of like, these are the foods I love today, this is what I feel like I need, these are the things today I don’t think I need. I just want you thinking. And when you do that, you save so much time. You’re no longer… And this is the other thing, it’s like you don’t feel of like weight loss is your job.

Corinne:

Because when you’re counting points and you’re abiding by food lists and you’re doing all this other stuff, think about it, you’re constantly worried you’re going over, you’re constantly trying to negotiate your math, you’re constantly trying to figure out what you can and can’t eat. What happens in Weight Watchers all the time, like Keto and Weight Watchers are the two worst at this I think. And God love everybody that does them but I just want to say, they are two ways that I see people spend a lot of time trying to monkey the system. Let me see how many Keto treats I can find and Frankenstein up so that I can still have the foods I like, but never really practice eating them in control, never really learning how to only eat them when you’re hungry and stuff. We just spend a lot of time scheming in those diets. And when you are scheming, when your diet requires scheming, it does feel like it takes a lot of time.

Corinne:

So I think that if you’re going to lose weight, one of the things that you have to realize is that time is a bullshit excuse that we’ve all been taught by a lot of diets that did take time. But if you’re doing it right, you should be getting free from food, free from body obsession, free from overthinking what you put in your mouth every single second, that’s what’s so time consuming. Then the last one is when we talk about why we think now is not the time. And this one is just for the moms and for the grand moms, because I got grandmas all over the place who use them grand babies as an excuse too. We blame our kids for not having time. And I have talked about this a lot and this is one thing I just, I’m a… It’s a passion project of mine, is to remember, your children should not be an excuse for what you put in your mouth.

Corinne:

Just because you need to take Junior to lacrosse practice doesn’t mean you need to eat McDonald’s. And you thinking, if I didn’t have this carpool, if my kids didn’t need these things, then I could lose weight, that is saying my biggest thing that I blame in my life or my weight is my child. And I just want y’all to hear that, because a lot of moms don’t realize they’re doing it. I would much rather you say, it’s easier for me to eat McDonald’s when I’m carpooling, versus you saying, the reason why I’m eating McDonald’s is because my kid has lacrosse practice. Just take responsibility for how you eat, don’t blame them. Because there are people who have kids and carpools and all the things and they just don’t eat McDonald’s over it, they just don’t do that.

Corinne:

Some of them wake up early pack sandwich. Some of them think hunger is just not an emergency. On the nights that I have to run around, I just tell myself, I’m probably going to be hungry tonight and that’s okay and when I get home, I’ll nourish myself. They’re not driving around thinking, oh my God, I haven’t ate. When I get home, I’m likely to eat my arm off. Well, I’m going to overeat. They don’t do all that drama. And if they catch the drama, they stop the drama. That’s how my women lose weight. I promise you, I have got mamas and grand mamas, of all the ages, multiple kids, all the things. Kids with special needs, all kinds of stuff.

Corinne:

It would be real easy for them to use them as an excuse. And what they’ve learned is that their children are no longer a valid excuse anymore. You might choose to eat this way, but the babies are no longer the problem. And I love this statement and I say it all the time. But if you’re the problem, then you then become your solution. If your kids are the problem, then you need to give up your children in order to lose weight. I’ve not had one single, no BS woman come in the membership and say like, well I’m ready to lose weight and I have put my children up for adoption so I can focus. Nobody does that, we don’t have to, we can do both.

Corinne:

I really feel like this is important for women to understand. And I would love for you to be able to take care of your kids, while also taking care of yourself. To not take care of your kids and throw yourself under the bus and then throw them under the bus because you’re not taking care of yourself. So just taking some ownership of like, you know what? I may be in a season of my life where my kids have a lot of demands and there’s lots of things going on. But if I choose to eat certain things, I no longer blame it on them, I just know it’s a choice. Especially when you go to McDonald’s, people act like it’s impossible to go to the drive through and order something healthy these days. This is what’s amazing to me, I remember when McDonald’s came out with salads. Nowadays, you can go to a fucking gas station and get boiled eggs and cheese sticks and apples and bananas and stuff. Gas stations back in the day, you were lucky if you get a Slurpee.

Corinne:

So like it’s like rethinking, it really isn’t my kids. It’s I just didn’t want to order a grilled chicken sandwich. I wanted the Big Mac. Really has nothing to do with carpool, has nothing to do with practice, really has nothing to do with any of that stuff, it has everything to do with my choices. And I’m filled with choices all the time. Sometimes I’ll make good ones and sometimes I won’t, but I’m just not going to throw my kids out as a reason, otherwise you’ll need the perfect time. You’ll need your kids to not be in sports, to be in their off season. And then when they’re in their off season, you’ll be like, well, I got to take care of them, like they’re home all the time now, I got to do this. It just becomes a habit pattern.

Corinne:

And so those are the three big reasons that I think that people say now is not the time. And I just wanted to give you something to think about that now might be actually the best time. It might be the best part of your time of your life to figure out how to quit eating to feel better. Might be the best time of your life to learn how to make about food so you can quit wasting your time, obsessing over things. It might be the best time to figure out how to make better choices for yourself when you stop blaming things or people in your life. Anything you want to add?

Kathy:

Yeah.

Corinne:

Kathy’s moment.

Kathy:

Yep, here’s my moment. I’ve been thinking this whole podcast about how much I wish I had heard this message earlier in my life. Because I used all these excuses, the kids, the time busy in the last podcast, it’s not the perfect time, I used them all-

Corinne:

I think kids was a big one for you back when the boys were in high school and stuff especially.

Kathy:

It was. In fact, when I met you in 2013, at the church retreat, best story ever, I came home and told Ken, I’m going to do this one more time. But in the back of my mind, I said, I’m going to do this one more time because my kids are gone. Now’s the perfect time. I don’t have to worry about anybody, but me. It was all that stuff, it was like, I don’t know, if I had, I was 47-

Corinne:

Can I say this? I still think that those thoughts are fine for you. I think that those were beautiful thoughts, it’s like, all right. Everything that I’ve always wanted, everything that I’ve always said stood in way of my weight loss is now gone, so I will try it one more time. So I think it was a beautiful thought. It just would’ve been great for you had, you never needed to believe that all those things were stopping you.

Kathy:

Yes. That’s exactly right. And so if we back up, I don’t know, 15 or 20 years, because I was always a little overweight, I wasn’t really overweight, until my 30’s and 40’s. If we back all that up, if I had known about you and about no BS and about, I was thinking, as you were talking about especially the kids, the community, that we have inside of no BS where we can, all we have to do is go in and say, y’all my kids got a lacrosse practice three times a week, what do you suggest? You know, what can you help me with? What do you do when your kids have lacrosse practice three times a week?

Kathy:

Sourcing that support and those suggestions from other women going through the same thing, doesn’t feel so isolating, doesn’t feel like you’re on your own road by yourself on your own path. And I think about all that and I know, I am a coach, I know I hit the perfect time did the right thing and all that kind of stuff, there’s no regret about my past, but I do think about sometimes had I known you or had I known no BS earlier, I wonder how much sooner I could have found this life that I have now that I love so much.

Corinne:

Well, and I think you bring up a really good point about the community. You know, one of the things that I think as women, we get stuck in, like we were with all the other moms, I talked about in the last podcast, like we’re all sitting around talking about how busy we are, how tired we are, how hard our life is. Like it is, it is so normalized into society to sit around and discuss what’s wrong with our lives, what’s so hard for us. You just don’t really sit around with a group of women who are just like, let’s all share everything that’s going right in our lives right now and then we’re going to take a moment for all of us to just, let’s just have a bragging moment. Everybody gets time to just tell all the amazing things about themselves that is never what’s happening.

Corinne:

You’re basically showing up at carpool, with a big kumbaya y’all over like, yeah I ate my face off again last night, what about you? Everybody’s either talking about everything that’s going wrong or everybody’s obsessing over the newest, quickest diet. That is what happens to us. We get caught up in these stupid cycles as women. And when you’re inside no BS, it is not that way. We are sitting around problem solving, we are sitting around celebrating ourselves, we are sitting around asking questions. Like when we have a hard time, people come in, they’re like, I always love it when somebody says, I hate to bring the room down, but I’m going through something because the room stays so high, it’s almost like you feel like you need to declare. Because most of us are going in saying like, I would love to know what are your best cues for knowing that you’ve had enough? I’ve noticed that’s been tough for me, so I’m going to crowdsource. Most of our people are sitting around doing that.

Corinne:

And then every now and then, and I mean, when I say, every now and then, I don’t mean once a week I mean, daily. We have people going through tough seasons, tough moments and stuff, and they reach out and then tons of people are sitting there saying, this is how I handled it. You’re normal-

Kathy:

We’re here for you. Check in back with us.

Corinne:

We all go through stuff. Yes. We go through stuff like this. And here’s some things to think about, some solutions and stuff. You don’t really get that when you’re just kind of out in the wild at… I’m very lucky, I have a very small, tight circle of friends that I have worked on for years and they are all coaches too. So we do tend to sit around and we may bitch, but we know, we better not just bitch. We bet like, if you don’t call yourself out on your shit, you know that somebody else will. So, but I think a lot of us, like when I’m hanging out with friends who aren’t necessarily coaches and stuff, it’s very apparent to me how normalized it is to just complain about life.

Corinne:

It’s almost uncomfortable when somebody has a good life and somebody actually speaks about it and talks about the things that are going, right. I think about, I was actually talking about this the other day. I was in a situation a while back where the person I was with just was not happy at all. And this was a family member and it was there was this pull in me. I had to decide was I going to create lies about my life that were like… The main thing was, did I want to talk about Chris, like he was a problem or focus on what’s not right about him and stuff, just to normalize to what I was hearing from this family member. And I thought, no, I don’t want to do that. For my sake, my marriage sake, I don’t want to speak words like that about Chris and I can complain about Chris.

Corinne:

But in that moment, it was really like, I just remember sitting there thinking, this is like one of those crossroads moments where you really hear what’s going on in your brain and you’re really seeing what’s going on in front of you. And I was like, I’m not doing that. I am not going to either make shit up or talk about stuff that, just so I can fit in with this person and them not feel bad. Because what happens is when you do that, when you only do that, you’re like saying, yeah, let me commiserate with your miserable ass feelings. Because this person did not have a miserable marriage, they were just bitching and moaning. If it was like, they were cheated on or something, that’d be one thing. But this was just like run of the mill, sitting around with a cousin you ain’t seen in a while and bitching about your life. And I was like that doesn’t even do a service to them.

Corinne:

Because all I do is normalize that life is, like well, we’re just all getting by. I wanted to show them like, well, Chris and I, we have really good talks and this is what’s working in our relationship and stuff. I wanted to be that model. And if they took it wrong, I would rather risk them feeling bad than to not risk them feeling good. And seeing that something else could be different for them, every single time. And so I just think it’s important like when you were talking about, as the boys were growing up and stuff, I think for a lot of us, we don’t even realize that we’re hanging around people that kind of foster this woe is me, life is hard, difficult, I don’t have time to lose weight narrative. Nobody’s challenged it enough. And inside our community, we are. We don’t buy into society’s narrative. We don’t buy into traditional dieting methods and we don’t buy into traditional poo pooing all over ourselves is just the standard for a woman and we’re not supposed to celebrate ourselves. We just don’t do it. So that was a good point you brought up.

Kathy:

Thank you. You’re welcome.

Corinne:

Any other moments with Kathy, you would like to share?

Kathy:

No, that was a big one. That was, as you were talking, I was just thinking about how I always felt so isolated when I was trying to lose weight, even at Weight Watchers meetings. Of course I’m pretty introverted anyway and making myself go to a Weight Watchers meeting and stand on the scale in front of somebody was traumatic for me. And then going into the meeting and watching everybody get a star, because they lost five more pounds or whatever and me not getting one was traumatic and that it’s isolating. Because all I could think about was well, see I didn’t do it again, or I’ll never get this, my go-to, I’ll never get this. So not only do we have such a supportive membership, our people are so… If I go in there and say, I’ll never get this, I’m not going to get bashed in the head for saying that. They’re going to say, I used to think that too. Let’s, let me help you out, let’s-

Corinne:

Have you tried this? Have you… They’ll always, I love when they start going through and saying like watch this video, this is the one that changed everything for me. We have a very supportive group and they’re amazing women and so if you’re a no BS woman just know that Kathy and I love you, we really appreciate you-

Kathy:

Very much, yes.

Corinne:

And we’re just going to keep building this kind of environment because women sorely need this in their life.

Kathy:

Absolutely.

Corinne:

All right, everybody y’all have an amazing week. Do not forget to screenshot this podcast, if you loved it, share it on your social media, tag your friends that need to hear this stuff. We are desperately, desperately, desperately wanting to get the word out that there is a better way to think about weight loss. Something refreshing, especially your friends that don’t mind a little cussing-

Kathy:

Or all the cussing, whichever one you prefer to call it. Y’all [crosstalk 00:48:38].

Corinne:

We just get excited, that’s all.

Kathy:

That’s right. Bye y’all.

Corinne:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to noBSfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast, help you lose your weight without all the bullshit dad advice. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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