Updated: December 12, 2023

Episode 235: Basic Mistakes

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I teach four simple steps to weightloss.

Drink water (shoot for 64 ounces to help prevent carb and salt cravings).

Get 7-9 hours of sleep (otherwise, your body can’t burn fat and will store it instead).

Eat when you get hungry (not just when it’s time or you want to) and stop right before you’re full (instead of when you feel bloated and burpy).

And, make a plan of what you’ll eat for the day, including foods you like (instead of hoping you’ll “do good” and then eating whatever you want in the moment when you’re tired and stressed).

That’s the bottom line of everything I teach. It’s simple and makes sense. But there are a couple of mistakes I see people make all the time.

In today’s podcast – Episode 235: Basic Mistakes, Kathy and I talk about…

What to do when you keep getting pissed you overate AGAIN (trust me, it’s normal to overeat and not as big a deal as you make it).

How you might be trying to blend old, restrictive diet rules with the Four Basics (leaving you feeling deprived and wondering why the Basics don’t feel easy).

Chronic hunger and how the diet industry has taught you to obsess over everything that goes into your mouth.

Listen to Episode 235 so you can avoid making these basic mistakes that can keep you from losing weight.

Transcript

Corinne:

Hi. I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:

Hello, everybody. Welcome back. We have a great podcast today. I was sitting around, I was actually on a walk this morning and was thinking about what is a podcast that we haven’t done that would help a lot of people and it would solve some major questions. So as I was walking, I really was thinking about I don’t think we talk a lot about the mistakes that people make when they’re implementing their basics. For all of you, when you’re a No BS woman, like when you join the membership, one of the best things that happens for me personally is I get to watch thousands of people use my content. If you’re a podcast listener or you do the free course, I don’t get to watch you go through it. I don’t get to see your questions. I don’t really know what’s going on for you. But with my No BS women, I get to see all the questions. I get to give them materials that are going to help cinch up stuff.

Corinne:

If we notice women are struggling with a particular issue, we can drop a video. We can point them to a resource. Or we will, as Kathy knows, we are always trying to figure out how to take our content and craft it into do this, this, and this to solve this exact problem. In fact, Kathy is probably giggling on the inside because she right now is working on a major project for, I don’t want to give it all away, No BS women, but we are working on a huge project for all of you where we’re taking the most common problems inside the membership and we are creating four steps to solve it using the things that we have so that no matter what your problem is, our goal is always we just sit around and think what are the most common problems, what are the things that they need and how can we make it so easy for them to solve it so that they can get to that weight loss.

Kathy:

That’s exactly what I was going to say. We sit around. We really do, y’all, sit around and think how can we make weight loss easy for the members.

Corinne:

I will just say, it’s even, I think you and I do this a lot when we’re just talking, with everybody on our team. Our goal at No BS is very different than the weight loss industry. It’s like how do we make weight loss so easy that it’s easy for you to understand it, it’s easy for you to know what to do next. It’s easy for you to change your life so that you can keep your weight off. I don’t think the diet industry does that. I think what they’re more focused on is what can we tell them to do for a quick fix. I think easy and a quick fix are two very different things.

Kathy:

Absolutely.

Corinne:

I was watching, for fuck’s sake. I was watching the other day a commercial for Nutrisystem. Every time a diet commercial comes on, I’m just the little prairie dog that raises out of her little hole to see what are they saying. Because I’m always curious, what is the diet industry pumping these days? I think Nutrisystem now has some kind of drink you can take that’s supposed to speed up your fat loss. So you’re basically giving them some liquid cocaine. This is how we’re going to lose weight, ladies. We’re going to eat box food and drink liquid cocaine. You’ll get your weight off. But what did you fucking learn? Some people I think think that’s easy, but I want you to think about this long term. That’s not easy. That’s being spoon fed some shit that addresses nothing that’s going on in your life that ever drove you to eat to begin with.

Corinne:

A lot of us, we can force ourselves to eat box food. We could take some liquid cocaine and drive our appetite down. But we’re not working, like if you are overeating because you have, let’s say you are someone who has a job that has high stress. So right now we have a lot of No BS women who are nurses and doctors. There’s probably no one in the world right now that’s more stressed out than our nurses and doctors on the front lines saving asses and busier than they’ve ever been in their lives. So your box food and your liquid cocaine on a Saturday night, the first Saturday night you’ve had off in 10 days, does not help you figure out how to relax. It doesn’t help you figure out how to let go of the guilt that comes from, “I had to make tough decisions this week based on the patients I had.”

Corinne:

All of the things that drive us to eat, that’s where they fail us. When we’re sitting around, we’re always trying to figure out how do we make things easier. A lot of times, like a Nutrisystem or a Weight Watchers, their version of easy isn’t so that your life is easier. It’s so that it’s easy to drink something and to suppress your appetite until that no longer works. You’re still left with your shit that was driving you to eat in the first place, and then it all just comes rushing back. So when we’re thinking about how do we make weight loss easy, one of the things that we’re working on is, “Help. I am on a stall or plateau. I’ve been losing weight, now I’ve hit …” Everybody’s always going to have stalls and plateaus in weight loss. That’s just part of it. But you would not believe how many people don’t think that. They think a stall or plateau means, “I’ve failed. I can’t lose weight. Something’s wrong with me. This isn’t working.”

Kathy:

It’s going to get harder.

Corinne:

Yeah, this is the hard part, versus stalls or plateaus, like when you understand how the body works, the homeostasis, the things that you need to do to shake things up, the reasons behind why it’s happening, which gives you the framework of what you need to start changing and looking at, that this is not a personal failure, this is just part of the process. So we’re creating a framework for that to where someone who feels like they have a stall or a plateau, step one, watch this. Step two, do these things. Step three, blah blah blah. We are creating four steps to solve the most common weight loss problems using the shit we have inside the membership.

Corinne:

To me, that’s like when we talk about how do we make weight loss easier, it’s because you’re giving resources, you’re giving people the tools. You’re giving people the things that allows them to truly lose the weight that they need to weight. They need to lose the shame weight. They need to lose the overwhelm weight. They need to lose the regret weight. They need to lose all of that mental weight that if you don’t do something about it, at some point when the liquid cocaine and the boxed lunches go away, all of that is just sitting there saying, “Hey, since you didn’t learn how to deal with me, why don’t you eat me again?” Because that’s what we do. We either deal with it or we eat through it. That’s why most of us have weight to lose.

Corinne:

Speaking of trying to make things easy, what I wanted to do today was I really thought about, I know that in the podcast I teach you the basics and you can listen to several episodes where we talk about how do you eat to enough, how do you listen for hunger. If you take my free course, I walk you through all of it. You have that. One of the benefits of me watching members and interacting with them, and talking to them in Facebook and stuff about every day is I really start learning what gets in their way. Because I think that that’s what makes No BS different than diets is we introduce a basic framework, the four basics to lose weight, and then we get to work on all the things that get in the way of weight loss. It is the emotional shit. It is all the things. So today, I just want to go over what I have noticed as some of the biggest mistakes that people make when it comes to the basics and help you identify are you doing these things and how you can help yourself overcome these basic mistakes.

Corinne:

I want to start it with every single person listening to this, whether you are a No BS woman or you are a podcast listener, you are all going to make mistakes. That’s the point. The four basics are there to highlight these are the simple steps to eat, these are the simple steps on how to lose your weight. But if you’re having a problem following them, you want to track the problems, because then that becomes what you ultimate have to learn how to overcome to lose your weight. You’re supposed to have a stack of problems. That’s why a lot of you quit traditional diets. Even a traditional diet, whether you’re going to follow the points, you’re going to drink cocaine, whatever it is that’s going on. I don’t know what it is that they’re doing, but I remember seeing the commercial thinking, “I bet that’s like a bottle of liquid cocaine.”

Kathy:

I’ll have to watch for this commercial.

Corinne:

I know. Now I’m going to have to go back and watch for it so I can be like, “What was it that I was talking about on the podcast?” I just remember getting riled up about it being like, “Son of a bitch, there’s like 10,000 women that are going to buy this shit right now and never fix what’s really wrong.” But when you think about all of those programs, they work until you hit the things that don’t work, until you run up on your problems. But where they leave off is they just keep saying, “Yeah, but count the points. Yeah, but drink the bottle. Yeah, but open this food box.” It’s like, if that was so easy, I’d be fucking doing that. But here’s my problems. Every night at 8:00 is the only time I feel like I ever get a break during the day from my partner, from my job, from my life. And if at 8:00 at night, it’s not enough for me to just sit there and think, “I have liquid cocaine.” You can’t even take that at 8:00 at night because you’ve got to go to bed. You’ve just got to lay there and be like, “I’ve got to get through this one.”

Corinne:

So what we try to do is we have, this is where we pick up. That’s what makes No BS different is we want to address, let’s get tot he root causes. We knock all those out. You will eat when you’re hungry. And it won’t be a big fucking deal. You will stop at enough and it won’t be a big fucking deal. Basic mistake number one is getting pissed when you overeat. For the lady sitting in the back right now, I want you to hear me. The first goal when it comes to doable hunger, I’m just talking about the enough side. If you don’t know, in the four basics I teach you, you’re going to ask yourself before you ever put a bite in your mouth, “Am I hungry?” And then while you’re eating, you’re going to start paying attention and ask yourself, “Have I had enough?” The goal is to quit eating past full.

Corinne:

Even in the very beginning, if I could just get some of you to just eat to full and not eat to, “I need to go take a nap, unbutton my pants, because if I don’t the button’s going to fly across the room and put my child’s eye out.” If I could just get you to quit eating to that point, you’ll lose weight.

Kathy:

No PJ pants. Can’t go to the PJ pants.

Corinne:

Right. Corinne knows she’s not stopping at enough when right before the meal starts, she’s like, “I should put on my pajamas. I have an idea that I’m fixing to go a little head first into the food.” What you want to think about is with enough, the first goal for everyone is not to, “Oh, I learned I should stop at enough, so from now on until the end of time, that’s it. That’s all I got to do.” That is all you have to do. But there’s a lot of little lessons that you have to learn to get proficient, consistent, and good at stopping at enough. What we do is we hear Corinne say, “That’s all you got to do, honey. You got to start listening to when you’re eating, you’ve just got to ask yourself, ‘Have I had enough?’ And if the answer is yes, you stop.”

Corinne:

That is all you have to do. But there are about a jillion milestones that you’re going to need to overcome and you’re going to need to go through in order to get to the point to where you do that naturally, you do it without argument, you do it without feeling like you’re restricted, deprived, cheated, it’s unfair, it’s not enough, what if I get hungry later. All of that bullshit that you think is supposed to come up during that time. When you first start realizing you’ve had enough and you want to just keep eating, milestone obstacle number one. Learn how to be the kind of person that wants to eat more, but thinks, “It’s okay. I can plan for this tomorrow if I want more.” And you have to get good at that. Which means for a lot of you, when you first just start asking the question, “Have I had enough?”, the answer is going to be, “Yes, physically. No, not emotionally. I just want more. It tastes so good. Everybody else is still eating. If I don’t finish my plate, what will the person who cooked it for me think.”

Corinne:

We have to learn, each and every one of even those things. Another obstacle that you have to recondition your brain to learn a whole new way. What I see happening is that people get so mad at themselves and so pissed, or they get so full of shame that they overeat in the beginning. The overeating is not the problem. The overeating is showing you the next thing in the enough process that you need to learn. It’s good information for you. Like “Oh, I notice if I eat pork chops and mashed potatoes, I start thinking ooh, this is so good, I rarely get it. I want to finish it.” That’s good information. If you overeat it and you pull that information out and you look at it, then you know, “I keep hanging on to the idea I can’t have a pork chop and mashed potato any time I want. Therefore, when I’m eating it, it triggers me to feel deprivation, scared, fear, food anxiety and stuff.”

Corinne:

So the solve is not to take my pork chops away. The solve isn’t to beat myself up and think that I’m a fucking loser who can’t lose weight. The solve is to start learning how to talk to myself about the new way that I’m eating, until I learn that there’s a new food sheriff in town, and this sheriff is nice.

Kathy:

You know, this is what I’m working on right now.

Corinne:

For yourself?

Kathy:

How many years have I been with you? Since 2013?

Corinne:

It feels like forever, Kathy.

Kathy:

Kathy right now, not enough.

Corinne:

I said it feels like forever.

Kathy:

It does. Some days it does. This week, I’m working on enough. I don’t get angry at myself for overeating anymore, but I’m really working on figuring out the overeating. Like you said, what am I telling myself? Just this week, so funny this came up. Just this week, I have decided for at least three dinners, because I’m fine breakfast and lunch. I don’t overeat breakfast and lunch. But dinner comes, that’s my overeating window, dinnertime.

Corinne:

I’m the same way. I’m not going to overeat breakfast. Rarely will I overeat lunch. But it’s the same thing for me at night. I think nighttime is where just … I know you’ll remember where you’re going. I won’t remember what I’m going to say, so I’ll just squirrel off real quick. I don’t know how it is at 47 I have a worse memory than Kathy Hartman does at … I don’t want to say your age. I’ll let you declare it if you wish.

Kathy:

55, girl. It’s all right.

Corinne:

Double nickels. Now I’ll remember, because of double nickels. But for me, for a lot of people, just so you guys will, let’s not be pissed we overate. A lot of us have to learn how to be at the end of our emotional tank at the end of the day and not use the food to refill it, to recharge ourselves or to separate out work from … Like for me, eating at night, I tend to overeat because I have a hard time separating work from I guess pleasure, work from evening time. Working from hoe, you work from home, I work from home. And I have my phone with me. It just trails around after me. You just have so many triggers in your environment that say, “We’re still working. We’re still working,” even if we’re not.

Corinne:

I know for me, that’s been just even, I’ve had my weight off for 15 years. And I’m still having times that I eat past enough. It’s almost always at night. And it almost always ties to a thought I have, which is I don’t want to stop eating because I’ll have to get back to work. I still have it in my brain that I’m going to work after dinner, even though I haven’t even worked after dinner in months. I’ve been cutting it off.

Kathy:

We are overeating twins.

Corinne:

Twins of overeating. Man, remember the super twins?

Kathy:

Wonder Twins. Wonder Twin powers, activate.

Corinne:

The Wonder Twins, yeah. Well, we’re not Wonder Twins. We’ve got to quit activating. I’m like, “Take the form of a plate of nachos.”

Kathy:

Right. But that’s one thing I have really noticed this week. But what I’m trying to do is I’m serving up my normal plate, but I’m setting side a couple of bites just to see what drama comes up. And that’s one of the things that I noticed. Even though when you work in an online business, like you said, you don’t have to go to your office to go to work. Your phone is always right there in your hip pocket. But the other thing that’s coming up for me, so that I’m really paying attention to is it’s so good. It’s such a harmless little thought. Oh, man. I did a good job with dinner tonight. It’s so good.

Corinne:

And it’s a sexy thought.

Kathy:

Yeah. It’s those little sneaky ones that tend to be the ones that we bypass. It’s real easy to go, “I’m going to have to go back to work when I’m done with this.” That’s a real clear, yucky thought. But it’s those sneaky ones that sound good, that sound sexy. Those are the ones, for me, that I’m really starting to notice now. So that as you start looking at being angry why you overate, make sure you’re pulling out all the thoughts. Of course, don’t be mad about it, like Corinne was saying. I’ll just boil it down to that. Don’t be mad about it. Just notice it. And notice what thoughts are getting you there, because they could be really subtle.

Corinne:

Yeah. I think that, “It tastes so good and I just want it.” If we were going to have a big mistake 1A, the next one is if I can get them to quit getting pissed, then they start thinking that there must be something huge wrong with them.

Kathy:

Right.

Corinne:

And they’re like, “The only thought I could ever find is I just want it.” It’s like yeah, it’s probably nothing bigger than that. You probably are not broken, are going to uncover some deep seated societal messaging or anything like that. Let’s not just dig for a deep rooted problem. Most of the time, I was going to suggest since you found, “It tastes so good,” it would be really good for you to ask yourself in that moment, because this is when your brain will light up, is “It does taste good. What am I going to tell myself if I stop right now?”

Corinne:

In the beginning, don’t even stop. This is how I like to hack my shitty brain. I like to tell it, “We’re going to keep eating. Nothing bad’s going to happen to you.” Because if you think the moment you recognize that thought that, “That means I have to stop,” what happens is your brain won’t tell you why it was so hesitant to do it anyway. For a lot of us when we think, “It tastes so good,” what we really have in the parentheses is pretty much what I’m going to move on to number two, which is where the second biggest mistake is still trying to incorporate old diet rules into your new No BS lifestyle. And they come out very subtly. “It tastes so good” probably in the parentheses is, “And you don’t get to have this very often.” Or in parentheses, “It’s so good, it’s probably bad so you should just go ahead and finish it and really think about tomorrow doing better.”

Corinne:

There’s just a lot of little bullshitties that are on the back end. If you tell yourself, “Look, I just want to know what would I be thinking if I had to stop right now knowing that I had enough and it tastes fucking awesome?” Because whatever you would think then is the exact reason why you don’t choose to stop. And those thoughts will feel very real. But that’s the real ones underneath, “I just want it and it tastes good,” that if you can start debunking it and really understanding. For a lot of people, I think when it comes to trying to bring in their old diet rules, so I watch this happens a lot is I’m going to do the four basics. I’m going to make my daily plan, I’m going to get my water. I’ll be doing the sleep. And I’m going to ask the questions. “Am I hungry? Am I satisfied?”

Corinne:

“This is amazing, Corinne. I get to plan what I want.” Except on the inside your brain is like, “Yeah, but you know you. You’re kind of addicted to carbs and you’re not really good in control with those.” So your 24 hour plan will have a lot of … It will not be completely restrictive, but it also won’t be what you truly want to eat. It will have some monkeying in there. It will have things like low carb tortillas, which will taste like shit. Or it will have cauliflower rice instead of regular rice. I’m not saying low carb tortillas or cauliflower rice, I eat cauliflower rice. I actually like it. And I’m always trying to sneak in vegetables. For me it works. But if I was sitting there and overeating and feeling restricted and stuff, I’d probably eat some fucking real rice and learn how to do it in a way that I can stop at enough.

Corinne:

It’s like look at the biggest mistake I see next is where I’m going to do the four basics, but just throw a little Frankenstein diet in there. I’m going to do it low carb. All that does is that it just teaches you that you still have to abide by rules, that something’s wrong with you. I want you all to just investigate that. Now, I know, I hear the special diet subgroup right now. We have subgroups inside of our membership. I know some of you do need to eat a lower carb lifestyle. And you do need to have certain foods that you don’t eat. Because they jack your cholesterol. My mom has a list of foods because she has Barrett’s esophagus. There are certain foods that she can no longer eat because if she does, it tears her esophagus up and she doesn’t want cancer. She also has, the older she’s gotten, the more lactose intolerant she’s gotten. My mama loves milk. But she also don’t like having buttermilk diarrhea all the time. So she’s had to change some things.

Corinne:

But the thing that she’s done is that she’s not doing it from, “The diet industry says I can’t have these things.” She’s more manipulating what she chooses to eat based on, “I’ve just been really paying attention and I’ve just decided I’ve got to prioritize how I feel each day physically over what I orally think tastes good.” She just got her shit tolerance met. “I don’t want to have diarrhea all the time. I don’t want to risk getting cancer.” The “I don’t want that” outweighed what she wanted in her mouth. And I think that when you come to special diets that’s one thing, but what I watch a lot of people do is they keep just a few of their old food rules and it’s around the quality of food that they eat, and when they keep those rules, it keeps them thinking that they’re dieting and when they think they’re dieting, they then slip into feeling very hopeless, very triggered, like it’s too hard. It just invites too much shit.

Corinne:

One of the things that I really strongly suggest when you’re doing the four basics and you’re making your plan is that you let go of the old food rules and you do the plan being scared. You do the plan being fearful, because you’re not used to eating those foods yet. Because what most of you do is you keep in those things and you are just afraid of those foods and you’re doubting you can do it anyway. So if you’re going to be scared and you’re going to be doubting, and you’re going to be fearful, you might as well do it in a way that breaks your ties from all the shit you’ve been taught all your life that’s not working. On the other side of that, I watch person after person do this. They can put the things they want to eat on their plans and over time what they realize is that some of those foods, when there’s no more rules around it, when it’s not going to get taken away, when the fear is gone, they don’t want them all the time anymore. We want the things we can’t have.

Corinne:

That’s like the one reason why we all want to lose weight, we feel like it’s a thing we can’t have and then what does it do? All of a sudden we think about it all the time. It skyrockets our desire to lose the weight. It’s the same thing with food. If you have this list of foods that you keep telling yourself, “I can’t have that. It’s bad for me,” and I mean I’m not talking legit bad for you. Like buttermilk diarrhea, we can all agree that’s a food that doesn’t work for you. But just saying it, because one time on a keto that you lost weight and it’s like, “Oh, now I’ve decided those foods are bad for me,” that’s the stuff we got to unwind.

Corinne:

Basic mistake number one is getting pissed when you overeat. If you’re a No BS woman, if that’s you, go to module two of No BS, because that’s where we talk about how do you stop getting upset with your overeats, how do you start looking at them and dissecting them, and then inside of No BS, we give you the discovery worksheet that walks you through step by step on how to figure out, how to separate being pissed and how to start figuring out is it that I just want it, is it that it just tastes good, and what you can do the next time. We walk you through that worksheet over and over again. I just want to say this for everyone, the reason why I give No BS women a discovery worksheet is because I highly expect them to have problems. They’re supposed to overeat some times. They’re supposed to eat when they’re not hungry. They’re going to eat off plan. Because if it was easy to just give you four basics, snap my finger and everybody loses all of their weight and never hits a problem, holy fuck, I’d be best friends with Oprah right now. She’d been like, “Corinne, come live with me in Hawaii for a month.”

Corinne:

It’s not supposed to be that way. It’s supposed to be, “Here are your basics. Now, here are the things that get in your way,” and then we give you worksheets on how to overcome it over time for a reason. We expect those things. So now I need you expecting those. Then the second biggest mistake with the basics is trying to do them while still restricting major food groups, thinking that you’re not going to feel like you’re on a diet. That’s bullshit. You have to break those ties. The whole point of creating a doable food plan with the foods on it that you will commit to is to start teaching you how to eat in control, start teaching you how to let go of fear of foods, over time. For my No BS women, if you will go to module one of No BS, the good, better, best food sheet is there. I want you to be doing that one, where it teaches you the lessons of good, better, best when it comes to how we don’t have bad foods and then how to start looking at foods in all the different realms.

Corinne:

Here’s all the foods that I enjoy for just the taste. Here’s all the foods that I enjoy that can help me lose weight and taste good, and here’s my foods that taste good, they’re nutritionally sound, they do lots of good things for me, and none of those categories are any better than the other. They’re just categories for you to be pulling from. That worksheet will walk you through it and that lesson will do all that. Do you want to add anything else to that part or do you want to move on to number three?

Kathy:

No. You did a great job with those, Corinne.

Corinne:

Thank you, Kathy. I feel very externally validated at this moment. All right. Third biggest mistake that we make. Obsessing over doable hunger versus listening and asking yourself questions. I watch people do this, too. When it comes to dieting, we’re all taught that we are going to be hangry, which means you don’t eat until you’re so hungry that you’re pissed at the world. You’re yelling at your kids. You’re mad at somebody for getting in … The drive thru is taking too long. Hangry is always, for me, it’s that … I don’t even get hangry anymore, but it used to be I would always be, when Logan was littler, across town we would have to go to therapy for him. I would miss lunch, working or doing something. Have to run and get Logan after school, driving 45 minutes across town to go to therapy. We’d go to therapy. I wouldn’t have a damn snack or nothing with me. And then by the time his therapy let out to go home, which was an hour from that point where we were, I would be in two hours of traffic. With a kid in the backseat who didn’t particularly love a car ride.

Corinne:

So all I would do is sit there and think about how hungry I was. This wasn’t even me when I was losing weight. This was me in maintenance. And I would get pissed at everything. Hangry is where you’re so hungry that little things are setting you off. And then when you meet the tipping point of when you hit the food, you’ve worked yourself up in such a tizzy around being hungry, you think the hunger is making you overeat. Like I get too hungry and therefore I overeat. No, it’s the emotional tantrum that we throw about being hungry that works us up so much that when we start eating and the wash of relief comes like, “Oh, thank god,” we let go of all of the emotional tantrum. We’re feeling so good, we don’t want to stop. That’s what happens with it. What ends up happening with the basics-

Kathy:

I have to ask you this about hangry. Did you ever do Slim Fast?

Corinne:

Mm-hmm (affirmative). About three or four different times.

Kathy:

For me, it lasted, I don’t know, a meal or two. I would go buy the case of them. I’m doing this. I’m losing weight. I’m doing the Slim Fast.

Corinne:

Give me a case. I’m all in.

Kathy:

Right. I’m all in. So I do my breakfast shake. I’m still a little hungry, right? I’d get to lunch, I’d be really hungry. Hangry. I’d get another one of those little, what were they, 10 ounces? It felt like it was a thimble full of Slim Fast. I would not only get hangry at everything around me, I would get hangry at the Slim Fast. “You’re supposed to be doing this better.” Anyway.

Corinne:

It’s like, “What the fuck? The commercial said you’re so filling and delicious.”

Kathy:

No kidding.

Corinne:

I never drank a Slim Fast and thought it tasted delicious. I always thought it tasted a tad on the chalky side.

Kathy:

What is this shake thing I’m supposed to be … This is not it.

Corinne:

Right.

Kathy:

I just say all that to say it’s funny when you get into that state what you start blaming for that state. And it’s never yourself.

Corinne:

Oh, I’ve been hangry before, and this has happened recently, where I’ve been hungry and had on my plan something that I really enjoy. I know the members will know what I’m fixing to say. It always comes up around popped chips.

Kathy:

Yes, it does.

Corinne:

I love that one brand. I love popped chips and I swear to god, I don’t know if it’s a supply chain issue or what happens, but if I ever find popped chips, it’s like, “Nobody eat my popped chips.” This was a few months ago. I was so hungry and I had been on calls all day. I had to miss lunch because I just had literally, Kathy and I, we joke because on a Tuesday very often, we do calls from 9:00 AM to usually 3:00 or 4:00 in the afternoon, with no breaks.

Kathy:

Back to back.

Corinne:

Back to back. It’s my own damn fault. I schedule it that way on purpose so I can just be on a roll. Anyway, all I was thinking about was about them popped chips were in the pantry. I was like, “I’m going to have some popped chips.” I had planned to have it with my salad, just salivating. I go in there, my damn son had ate the popped chips. And he put the bag back in, so I thought, “Oh, well. There’s some left.” There was three and some crumbs. I got so pissed. I was pissed, number one, that they were gone. But then I was pissed because I was like, “He fooled me.” Like in my mind, it was as if Logan was sitting down with a little villain mask and twirling his mustache on how he was going to …

Kathy:

How can I get under mama’s skin today?

Corinne:

Like he just woke up and was like, “Today’s the day I’m going to ruin it all for her.” I was so mad. I yelled. I just said, “Did you eat my popped chips?” I was just beyond. It took me a minute. I could see the expression on his face. If y’all know my child, he might be one of the sweetest beings that ever walked the face of the earth. So you feel like trash if you ever hurt Logan’s feelings. And I could tell his face and Logan will automatically, he’ll just start … If he thinks he’s done wrong, he will never be a poker player, because he just starts shaking. His little hands starting shaking and I was like, “Ooh.” All of a sudden the wash of shame came over me and I was like, “It’s okay. I shouldn’t have yelled. I was just hungry and I wasn’t thinking. We all make mistakes.” I’m trying to spin it into a life coach learning moment. But it even happens to me.

Corinne:

But it’s one of those things where … And I think the reason why it still happens even to me after all these years, I teach you guys shit, you would think that I have transcended being a donkey some times. It’s a no.

Kathy:

You’re normal.

Corinne:

Yeah. It’s old diet conditioning. It’s all the years that I told myself chips were bad, you shouldn’t eat chips. Even in my brain, those things still come out. One of the things, though, when we go back to number three, which is obsessing over doable hunger is we’ve been conditioned in diets that we’re supposed to be dramatically hungry. So then what happens when I watch a lot of our people do is they miss the part in module one of No BS where I say we’re looking for the first signs of hunger. They automatically think, “I’m supposed to be hungry. Hungry means gnawing my arm off, passing out, yelling at my children.” They associate hunger with what I call diet hunger trauma. That’s not what we’re trying to do here. I want you to do this for yourself. It’s normal in the very beginning for it to feel very conflicting in your body about when you’re starting to listen, like “Am I hungry? Am I hungry?” It can feel obsessive.

Corinne:

But I want you to trust and believe that what we’re really trying to do is override the obsession. We’re trying to override always thinking about food and stuff. You just ask, “Am I hungry?” And you really have to do this, which is hard for a lot of people. If you think you are, you should give yourself the green light to eat. For me, what I watch a lot of our clients do is they keep pushing hunger because we have this idea that in order to lose weight, responding to hunger is a bad thing. When you’re trying to lose weight, responding to hunger is a good thing. That’s what keeps our metabolism going. That’s what keeps us working with energy. When you allow yourself to respond to hunger, it allows you to calm the fuck down, not have hangry moments. It allows you to start re-establishing some trust in your body. You start noticing subtle signals. And I promise all of you, if you think you’re hungry, notice the signal that you think you’re having and then just green light eating. That will help deprogram a lot of that.

Corinne:

So much of the reason why we can’t lose weight is we’re always trying to lose weight based in so much fear. Fear around food, fear I can’t do it. Fear of what other people think. If you think about weight loss, the reason why it feels so traumatic and why most of us quit is because the diet industry isn’t teaching us how to break our ties from doing it from a fearful mind place. And that’s why most of us end up quitting. It’s like I can follow a plan for so long, but if every day I’m over questioning things, I’m worried about every bite that I put in my mouth, I’m allowing myself to be afraid that I can’t lose weight. I never learned how to quit people pleasing. I never learned how to quit listening to what other people think. I never learned how to quit being afraid of what other people might be thinking of my body. If I don’t unlearn all that, then I’m dieting in fear. And we will always quit something that scares the shit out of us.

Kathy:

Yep. And we’ll have the thought, “Thank god that’s over.”

Corinne:

Right.

Kathy:

And then we’ll go back and do all the things-

Corinne:

Exactly. This is one of the things that I want you to understand is we’re really trying to do doable hunger, which is not anxiety driven. It’s not weakness. It’s not waiting for headaches. I will say for some of you, one of the early signals is a slight dull headache, especially if you’re never allowing yourself to get hungry and your body is just starting to allow itself to feel those things. Some times one of the early signals is a slight headache because your body is not used to tapping in to its own resources to get its energy. It’s always looking for food, so it will send up a headache. But it’s this idea of we’ve just been taught by that diet industry to have chronic hunger and when we have chronic hunger, we also learn how to obsess over what we’re going to eat next, what we should and shouldn’t eat, should we be eating. Every time we do eat, we associate that eating and trying to lose weight is bad. It’s like look, y’all, we’re human beings. We’re going to have to eat. We’re going to have to make peace with this.

Kathy:

That’s right.

Corinne:

We’ve been taught that somehow eating is a bad thing. I just wanted to make sure that all of you understand that. That’s why we do doable hunger. We don’t do diet hunger inside of No BS. For my No BS women, if you’re thinking, “Oh lord, a lot of this really resonates with me, I want to tell you exactly what I would do if I was you. I would go back and I would for sure listen to module one of No BS one more time. I think module one is all about your basics. It will help you get the foundation stuff. And I want you to listen to it after you’ve heard all this. Because I guarantee now you’ll start hearing me when I say things like, “We’re just getting used to asking the question.” You’ll hear the things that I said of how I want you to do it, because probably the first time you listen to module one, you’re hearing it with your diet brain, so it’s filtering our the mistake like, “I’m supposed to make mistakes and stuff.” It throws all that out and is like, “I’m supposed to do these things perfectly. Here are the steps she gave me. Now let me go and execute perfectly.”

Corinne:

Then the second thing that I would do is once you finish module one, I want you to go to the self study resources and I want you to take Basics 2.0, which is where we dive very deep into every single basic. We take you through a whole week of all the different things that you can do to test your hunger and your enough. We give you lots of different ways to play with it and stuff. But Basics 2.0 is a real game changer for a lot of you, so I would make sure you listen to that. And the last thing I just want to say on hunger is that hunger is trustworthy. You can trust that if you’re hungry, you should eat. That is what your body is trying to tell you. Let’s rebuild that relationship with your body.

Corinne:

To me, at the base of everything that I teach when it comes to how we’re going to lose weight, it begins and ends with you being willing to now work with your body and to stop punishing your body. You being overweight is not a bad thing. It is not a moral flaw. There’s nothing wrong with you. All it means is that if you want to lose some weight, we just have to rebuild the relationship you have with yourself, your emotions, your goals, with food, and especially your body. Hunger, I want you to trust it and I want you to on the other side, I want you to learn that eating to enough is not a punishment. Eating to enough is what your body needs. It’s a gift. It’s something you do for yourself. It doesn’t mean that you can’t have more. Eating to enough means I’ve already enjoyed it a lot. I can be done because I can enjoy it again any time I decide in the future.

Corinne:

I just want you to have this lesson about these mistakes. If you’re a No BS woman, I would love for you to share in our Facebook group what you learned from this. If you have any questions, we’ll point you to calls, we’ll point you to resources and worksheets and stuff that will help you dive deeper and figure more shit out, I promise you. We have all the things in there for you. More than happy to point you in the right direction. Got anything else you want to add, Kathy?

Kathy:

As you were talking about hunger, trusting hunger and enough is not a punishment, I was just thinking, some times I teach in the membership, I teach that our bodies are amazing … I’ve lost the word.

Corinne:

Vessels?

Kathy:

What?

Corinne:

Vessels?

Kathy:

Yeah, whatever. They’re so intuitive. Our bodies, if we pay attention, we know exactly what they need. It’s tuning into paying attention to what your body needs rather than what you think you want in the moment or why you want it. If you just pay attention to when you’re hungry and when your body tells you, “That’s enough food for now,” then that’s the magic sauce. They’re just amazing creations. Our bodies are built to take care of themselves. We just have to pay attention to what they’re telling us.

Corinne:

All right, everybody. I hope you enjoyed it. We will see you next week. Bye, y’all.

Corinne:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to NoBSFreeCourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training and what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcast, help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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