Updated: December 12, 2023

Episode 233: Fear of Food

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I recently spent a week with 20,000 women teaching them how to take control of food.

And I learned two things.

One is that the diet industry has done a good job teaching us how to be terrified of food.

We spend our days thinking…What if I get hungry?

Thank you to all the bat shit crazy diets that convinced us eating 1200 calories a day “was good for us.”

And kudos to the diets that said we need to eat every 2-3 hours, tricking us into believing that the way our bodies were designed is all a big fat lie.

THE TRUTH? You are designed NOT TO EAT UNTIL YOU ARE PHYSICALLY HUNGRY.

Why do you think you have belly chemicals to signal hunger and satisfaction to begin with? The good Lord didn’t give those to you because He was bored AF designing you.

Look, you allowing hunger isn’t a problem. It’s what you make hungry mean that’s the problem.

We all make being hungry mean some fucked up shit.

“I’ll starve if I don’t eat enough.”

No, you won’t! You might get hungry again and just eat! But at least TEST if you need to eat as much as you THINK you do.

“If I don’t eat it all, not only am I “wasting” the food, but I might not get it again for a while!”

Like you ain’t ever gonna eat a cheeseburger again for the rest of your life? Come on. And tell me whose belly, other than yours, benefits when you overeat for fear of waste.

The second thing I learned was how terrified people are they can’t lose weight.

And when you’re afraid, you’re stuck making excuses as to why you can’t lose weight because you don’t want to face your FEARS.

We waste time thinking we don’t have time, enough support, or the right conditions to lose weight.

When we could be spending time thinking about why we want it, what we ARE willing to do, the things we are willing to say no to, and the reasons we might be more capable than we give ourselves credit for.

In today’s podcast, I talk about these two things. AND you get to listen in as I coach some people on…

What to do when after being on a roll you find yourself off the rails and afraid you can’t get back on track.

How to know if you’re trying to lose weight using “diet trauma” thinking versus losing weight from challenge and determination.

Good questions to ask yourself when you journal that help you feel better and eat better.

Click here to listen to Episode 233: Fear of Food.

Be sure to DOWNLOAD this episode. It’s one you’ll want to listen to over and over again.

Transcript

Corinne Crabtree:

Hi. I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Sarah:

Good morning everyone and welcome to our Weight Loss Q&A with expert weight loss coach Corinne Crabtree. We are so glad you are here this morning with us. If you would like to ask a question about weight loss, please raise your hand and we’ll go ahead and get you pulled on the stage. This call is being recorded for our public podcasts so I just want to let you know that before you raise your hand. If you have any questions about weight loss we’ll get started in a second. Let’s see Corinne, you just taught a free five-day challenge called Take Control of Food. Tell me while we’re waiting for people to come into the room, what was the biggest takeaway that you saw people learning last week around food?

Corinne Crabtree:

Well I think the biggest takeaway for me wasn’t even so much just around … Well number one, we are all terrified of food. There was like 1,000 and one questions about being afraid. What if I get hungry? What if I leave food behind? What will happen to that food? I think one of the funniest things was someone had mentioned it really bothers me to leave food behind because when I grew up, she worked in these missions and she knew about hungry children everywhere, and so she was just cleaning her plate every day and she was like, “Because, like we should be globally responsible.” I was like, “Okay.”

Corinne Crabtree:

So those kids, when you overeat, now they’re just like sitting there, “Thank God someone in the world overate. I feel so much better.” It’s like, we have to watch where our brain makes these irrational ties. If we want to be globally responsible when it comes to hunger, what is the best way to do that? Not eat as much now, spend less money on food because we’re not preparing as much because we really realize what we actually need, and then if you want to be globally responsible, send the money you’re saving to food charities, not to sit there and eat out of guilt that somebody else doesn’t have because no one else in the world is better off when you overeat. You’re not even better off. So that was like one thing that came out.

Corinne Crabtree:

I think the other big one for me was just kind of seeing how many people are terrified that they can’t lose weight, and so they create a lot of excuses to not try, so that they don’t have to face their fear. I would much rather people face the fear and work on believing in themselves than to sit around and not join a membership or not go to a gym or just not do things, like I’m so afraid of what people will think. So like the people in my life won’t support me. When at the end of the day that’s not even the real problem. The real problem is I don’t support me. I don’t think I can do it. I’m waiting on all these other people to say shit, so I’m going to use their lack of support as a reason why … I can’t start now because nobody in my family is on board. That’s a lot easier to sit and blame in judgment, in disappointment than it is to face the fear of, “I’m really afraid I can’t do this.”

Corinne Crabtree:

So I should probably work on proving to myself that I can. That’s always going to be the harder road. So that was probably a couple of the start things that I was … Which I was just learning last week. As I always tell everybody, I watch my membership like they’re a group of lab rats. I always feel like the scientist. Every day I’m reading what they’re talking about, because I always want to create fresh content that’s addressing their needs now. That’s the nice thing about this day and age is that as I have them in a membership, as I have them in a Facebook group where they’re talking and I have them on calls where they’re asking questions and doing things, it’s easy for me to kind of see and be able to respond in live time what’s going on for women right now and be able to address it, so I watched that group like a bunch of lab rats too.

Sarah:

Yeah, it’s really interesting, and that’s why I think I love Clubhouse. So if anyone has questions, raise your hand because I love Clubhouse because we get to create content around exactly what you’re asking and wondering about weight loss. So if you would like to come up on stage, we would love to answer any questions you have about weight loss or help you bust through a plateau or any kind of issues you’re seeing with your weight loss journey. So just go ahead and raise your hand and we’ll get you up here. In the meantime, I guess I’ll just introduce us. Corinne is the host of Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne. It is a top-ranked podcast in iTunes, we were in the top eight in health and fitness last week and in the top 200 overall in the United States. But Corinne, it looks like we don’t have any questions to deal with.

Corinne Crabtree:

I know, like this is some bullshit now. Let me just say, last week, there was 21,000 people in there, and my fingers practically got a callus from answering so many questions. So either I’m a baller and I answered every weight loss question ever known to man in the podcast and everywhere else, or y’all are chickenshit. Somebody raise their hand, this is where you can get some help.

Sarah:

All right, we’ve got it. We have got four hands raised and it’s like when I bring you up on stage, just make sure [inaudible 00:05:50].

Corinne Crabtree:

I was going to say, I’m going to break a sweat getting pissed right out the gate today.

Sarah:

I know. No one wants to raise their hand? [inaudible 00:05:59]

Corinne Crabtree:

Well they’re probably afraid I’ll yell at them. I won’t yell at anybody today. How about that? All right, we got plenty now.

Sarah:

Kind, compassionate coaching. All right. Let’s get started with Jess.

Corinne Crabtree:

All right. Now we’re on a roll.

Sarah:

All right Jess, you want to unmute and tell us what your question is.

Jess:

Again, I never know what my question is. I just ramble. Okay, so I was doing really well, everything, doing all the stuff, and then all of a sudden life happened and it seems like I can’t … I choose not to balance myself properly. It’s like all of one and none of the other, so then I just stop altogether and I’ve gotten aware of that so it’s like it will only go for like two days where I don’t plan instead of months, which is good and is a win. But when I go back, it’s like … I feel like I have to start by just layering stuff in again, even though it’s only been two days. Do I go full force and continue with all of the stuff that I was doing or do I just focus back on the four basics and then gain momentum?

Corinne Crabtree:

Either way. It literally doesn’t matter, Jess. The only thing that matters is that you start with something. Like you may find that as you’re getting more and more stronger at realizing, like I’m going to take you somewhere else in just a second, but it really doesn’t matter whether or not you’re like, “All right. I notice I’m off plan. Life happened. I allowed myself to stop doing the things. So let’s just get the four basics back down,” and then it won’t take long because this is what … The more you restart and the more that you do that, the more you’re going to prove to yourself you can handle more and more and more. You’re already doing that now. It used to take you months, now it takes you two days. So your brain is already geared to think, “All right, restarting is not as hard as I thought.” So that also means that the more often that that happens, the more you’re going to be like, “And I can probably layer in more too.” So you’ll build your resiliency to be able to like restart and layer more stuff in. So that’s not a problem.

Corinne Crabtree:

Here’s the thing. You need to figure out why is it when life happens, like what is the thought that I have that I allow myself that puts the brakes on doing this. Because you’re just trying to … It’s like I noticed this happens, now just teach me how to get restarted. Let’s really move to the next level. Let’s figure out when life happens, what is it that my brain rationalizes? Like is it when this happens, there’s no way you have time to do this, when this happens, you can’t possibly be doing this? Your brain is doing something because when you put on the brakes, if you think about what I teach you inside of … You’re a No BS Woman, right?

Jess:

Oh yeah. I’m full on.

Corinne Crabtree:

Full on. So when you think about the think-feel-do cycle, putting the brakes on is just what you do. So there’s a thought. I know what you think, life happens as a circumstance, so there’s a thought you have about it. You really want to do some journaling on figuring out … So what is it that I allow myself to think? Because now I want to work on that thought and prove that that thought’s not true. Go ahead.

Jess:

Yeah. I think there’s a lot of perfectionism, and the perfectionism goes, “Okay, well I can’t be perfect today, so well fuck it.” Do you know what I mean? It’s like I’m really trying to practice that when these days come up to actually just plan for the day ahead of me, not … Opposed to being like, “Well it has to be perfect. Sometimes it is just good, better, best,” and I have been doing better about that when life happens.

Corinne Crabtree:

That’s probably why you’re seeing that you’re only off track for two days now.

Jess:

Yeah.

Corinne Crabtree:

Probably also seeing that you don’t get off track with … What I want people to do is go through phases of where it takes like literally, well the wind is blowing 20 miles per hour. I could never write a plan today. They just find anything gets them off track and then what you do is you notice that over time, the little shit no longer gets you off track. It’s now really epic big shit gets you off track. So it’s probably some growth happening there so give yourself some credit if that’s happening. But one of the things I was going to say is if that thought is the one that’s tripping you up. You really need to tell yourself about … Because I want you to think about what I actually teach. I don’t teach that there’s like this one method. We’re always about the day. Every day is supposed to look at the day ahead of you, which means that’s a fluid planning process. That’s a fluid process for things, which means there are some days we do more because we have … The day is just naturally set up for us to do a lot of easier things. Sometimes the day is not set up that way and we have to have a more fluid process. The crux of it is the understanding, the foresight, the compassion that goes into it.

Corinne Crabtree:

So if I was you, I’ll give you a do-line. I want you to come up with your minimum baseline, like what is going to be my doable foundation, so that I want you to think about something recently where shit hit the fan and you just didn’t think you could do these things. So rather than letting your brain only have one option, we either do it this way or we don’t do it at all, I want you to give yourself like, “All right. On the days when shit really is going, here’s how I show up.” It’s just like with me, like I have a period protocol, I have a depression protocol, I have a meetings day protocol. Like I have all these variations of things Corinne does to keep her successful because I know there’s like … Like I’m like [Sybil 00:11:43], there’s like 10 Corinnes that show up at any given time. So we want to make sure that we’re working with each version instead of thinking it’s like … It’s either Jess on or Jess off. So let’s come up with the middle ground too, okay?

Jess:

Yeah. I’ve really dropped a lot of shame in the last two years since I met you. The guilt, the shame, the remorse, all the stuff that … It was weird, when I first met you, it was like, “Okay, I’m going to be perfect [inaudible 00:12:11] unicorn and I’m going to prove this lady that I’m going to be the one that wins that unicorn award.” That didn’t work out very well for me.

Corinne Crabtree:

Yeah. I would just like everybody to know that you’re all still in contention for my unicorn award that lays here on my back cabinet. No one has claimed it yet.

Jess:

Yeah, so I had to give back my rights to the perfect unicorn award because you know what? I realized that I make it a lot farther not being fucking perfect and so here I am, coming back each day, and even if I come back and I’m like, “Okay, you know what? It’s noon and I still haven’t planned, guess what we’re doing right now, we’re going to plan.” It’s just like sometimes it’s the can I just list that starts me up and gets me going again and –

Corinne Crabtree:

That’s awesome.

Jess:

It’s not about how many years, it’s about what I’m doing right now. So thank you very much for –

Corinne Crabtree:

Thank you.

Jess:

My experience with you so far and if anybody’s not a No BS Woman yet, I highly suggest it, so …

Corinne Crabtree:

Awesome. Thank you Jess.

Jess:

Thank you. You’re welcome and have a good day everyone. Thank you. And I’ll work on that do-line, okay? Thank you.

Sarah:

All right, thank you so much Jess for coming up on stage and if you’re new to Corinne and you’re wondering what is a No BS Woman and what are these doable plans and things like that? Go to nobsfreecourse.com. That is where you’ll find Corinne’s free course where she teaches you her simple weight loss basics and you can learn about the doable plan. All right, next up, we’ll go to Maggie. Good morning Maggie, do you want to unmute and say my question is and then say your question.

Maggie:

Good morning. My name is Maggie and my question is just to give you a little context I had a gastric sleeve surgery about three years ago. So my serving sizes are drastically smaller than what they used to be. One of the things that I’m really struggling with is taking the time when I eat to really recognize when I’m satisfied. Because my feeling of satisfied is very different now because I have the sleeve. So the other part of it is that I’m so used to counting calories that I always just start with one small official, like what an official serving would be say, and so I just eat that serving and then at the end I just assess whether or not I’m still hungry. But regardless of my answer, I just move on and stop eating. So is that okay or should I … If I am truly still hungry, should I have more, even though it’s more than a serving and that’s just what I’m used to from the past? So I just don’t want to fall in to the diet trauma category. Is that diet trauma I guess?

Corinne Crabtree:

It’s only diet trauma if it feels like shit when you do it. So this is what everybody needs to realize when it comes to diet mentality or whatever. It doesn’t matter if you use a serving size. If you are doing a serving size let’s say from the mindset of this is all I get and it won’t be enough, yeah, that sucks and feels terrible. But if you do a serving size because you’re like, “I’m learning to see what a smaller portion looks like so I can make decisions for my body.” That feels informative, that feels curious, that feels good. So it’s not so much about what you do, it’s about your reasons behind why you’re doing it. That’s what diet mentality is about. So for all of my No BS Women, I believe we talked to you about that in Module Two. So if you are a new No BS Woman or –

Maggie:

I am.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay, you’re brand new. We’ll get more into that when you guys transition to Module Two which is … The first two weeks we’re going to focus on the basics. So just … What I would do if I was you right now is it sounds to me like you’re in a fine place. Because you’re just like … There’s nothing wrong with a serving size everybody. Like starting off with a serving size, zero wrong with that. But that also doesn’t mean that that’s exactly what you should eat. For some of us, like I will tell you, there is certain things, like lettuce. They’ll give you a serving size on a bag of lettuce. I’m going to tell you right now, it never does it for me. Like you know those bags where they have like the pre-mades? The bag is my serving size. Like I have ate enough salads over the course of my lifetime to know I want to take down a lot more vegetables. I don’t get overly full when I eat a bag of salad and I put my little toppings on there. It’s fine for me. If I only use what they call the serving size, it’s never enough. It’s always like I’m hungry within an hour or two. But that’s because I’ve listened.

Corinne Crabtree:

But there are certain things where the serving size is very appropriate for me and I go by the serving size because I also know that I want that natural pause at the serving size so that I can reflect. Have I had enough and if my body is telling me I’ve had enough but my mind is saying, “But it tastes so good,” I know that’s a good trigger for me to say like the only problem right now is my thinking, not my physical satiety. So then I get the opportunity to work on my physical thinking by having that measure. Now I’m not saying this for everybody to start measuring everything and going by serving sizes. I’m just addressing the issue of serving sizes, and when it –

Maggie:

Yeah, and I’m not necessarily measuring it all out, but like this morning I had a packet of instant oatmeal. That’s one serving, so …

Corinne Crabtree:

When you finished, what did you think?

Maggie:

I was satisfied. With that I was satisfied. So there wasn’t any issue.

Corinne Crabtree:

So there’s no problem. Right, exactly.

Maggie:

But you’re saying like when you said you’re hungry in an hour or two, I’m finding that myself because that’s just what my body is used to from the surgery.

Corinne Crabtree:

Right, but you’re in a different situation than I am. I’ve never had surgery. So my stomach is naturally wired to be able to do that. You’re going to have to go by other factors with your body. So your body, because you had the gastric sleeve, it doesn’t mean you can’t listen to your body. You’re just not going to listen to it in the same way Corinne listens to hers. My stomach is geared to be able to go five to six hours between meals. Now I’m going to tell you right now, my emotional brain is not always geared to go five or six hours, but my physical body really is. So there’s a difference for all, like when you all are like, “Oh my god, are you starving,” it’s like no, but I will tell you, I’m just like the rest of you. After about three hours I’m like bored as fuck doing something and I’m thinking, “Well a snack would be so good right now.” I just have to override my brain.

Corinne Crabtree:

But for you, your physical body has been altered. It’s a little different, so what you want to do is you want to work your signals. You may need to eat every couple hours. That’s okay, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t pay attention. It doesn’t mean that you have to have shitty thoughts. It means you can have amazing thoughts about your body, you have amazing thoughts about your sleeve. You can have amazing thoughts that you’re really good at identifying what you truly need. So that’s how we break the diet trauma, the diet mentality.

Maggie:

Okay. So overall it’s okay that I’m just starting with one serving? As long as I think about how I feel?

Corinne Crabtree:

It’s very fine. As long as you’re paying attention to that part, yes. So when we get into Module Two, what I would do if I was you is as we start having you practice what’s called the think-feel-do cycle is start thinking about I want to apply this to my serving sizes and how I eat. So everything that I learn about the journaling and I learn about finding out my thoughts, I really want to tackle this part so I can build that really good healthy relationship with all of it.

Maggie:

Okay.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay?

Maggie:

Great, thank you.

Corinne Crabtree:

You’re welcome.

Sarah:

Thank you Maggie for your question, and Maggie, you are a No BS Woman, is that correct?

Corinne Crabtree:

She is, she’s brand new.

Sarah:

Okay, perfect.

Maggie:

Yes. Yes.

Sarah:

Just making sure. Perfect, so you have all the resources that you need. All right. We’ll go ahead and move on to [Greece 00:20:08]. Good morning, Greece. You want to unmute and ask your question?

Greece:

Hi, good morning. First Corinne, thank you so much. I have grown so much as a person and I feel like I’ve done a lot of the mental work that I’ve learned from you and love myself more than I ever have, so thank you. But I can’t get out of my own way in terms of my 24 hour plans. Like I’m good with eating two to two and doable hunger. A lot of times I make mental 24 hour plans every day but there’s this block and I listen and some of the stuff you told Jess was like very helpful for me but like I don’t know how to break through the lack of consistency in writing my 24 hour plans.

Corinne Crabtree:

Well, let’s talk about it. What are you telling yourself about the 24 hour plans? Tell me your story around them.

Greece:

I don’t know what I tell myself. I think my story is more –

Corinne Crabtree:

Well just tell me right now what you think of, like when I ask you tell me your thoughts and opinions about the 24 hour plan, what’s your general thoughts and opinions?

Greece:

Like I love it when I do it, and I’m like, “This is great,” because when I do it, I’m like, “Look. I followed through on a promise to myself,” and it just helps me focus.

Corinne Crabtree:

But that’s after you do it. Tell me the thoughts you have about it right now about having to do it that aren’t so great.

Greece:

I think a part of my struggle is I wake up late frequently, like where I’m rushing to get ready for work and then I feel overwhelmed and I’m like, “Oh my god, I don’t have any time,” even though I’m making it … In my head, it feels like it takes forever where I know I could just write down like … Eat two to two.

Corinne Crabtree:

Well that is the thought. It takes forever. So when you get rushed for time, your habit brain wants to tell you, “Oh my god. That plan is going to take forever and we don’t have time.” That’s the only reason why you’re not consistent is that one sentence that you’re allowing to go unchallenged in your brain. So what you need to do is teach yourself like … Here’s what I would do. I would make a plan and time yourself. How long does it actually take? So that you know that when your brain says that, you could say, “Oh wait, on the days when I’m just like in love with it, enamored, and thinking it’s going to do amazing things for me, it takes seven and a half minutes. It takes four and a half minutes.” So that you give your brain like an actual thing, because your brain has gone to all or nothing thinking. It’s immediately black and white.

Corinne Crabtree:

The other thing that you could do is you could also say, “All right. On the days that I’m running late, here’s the minimum baseline.” Do you go to work?

Greece:

Yes.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay. So when you go to work, is it just like all hands on deck, putting out fires until the moment that you … You don’t even get a piss break? Like tell me about when you first walk in the door at work.

Greece:

I’m a teacher, so it’s just like I’m on from the moment I walk in to the moment I leave.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay, so the kids are sitting there ready for you. You don’t get to put your purse down or anything.

Greece:

Oh no. I can put my purse down but when I’m running late to work, sometimes I literally ran in and I’m running to my classroom to make it on time.

Corinne Crabtree:

All right. So we’re running down, we’re literally running … I want you to listen to the story. This is how I picture you. You’re running late, you get out of your car, you grab your things and you break into an Olympic full-on sprint, and you’re shoving children out of the way to make sure that you’re in the room on time. Is that what’s happening?

Greece:

Not shoving children and not consistently. Some days I’m running [inaudible 00:23:46] with the Olympic sprint and some days I’m just feeling rushed and I don’t have a lot of time but I’m not running as late as bad.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay. But I want you to think about the days you’re running late. This is important. I want you to think about the days you’re running late. Do you actually grab your stuff and run through the hallways of your school?

Greece:

No, I walk.

Corinne Crabtree:

Right, so this is what I’m talking about. I want you to listen to how your brain is talking about it. Like I’m running late, I have to run from my car to the room and start immediately, and I have already debunked all of it. None of that’s even true. So you have to tell your story around when you’re running late in a way that doesn’t have you compromising on your goals. Now you could say there are days that I’m late, I feel rushed because I think I don’t have enough time. I get out of my car, I have to walk hurriedly to the classroom, I set my stuff down, but I’m just wondering, even on those days, would you have time to grab your phone in your notes app and write down, “Here’s what I’ll eat?”

Greece:

I’m sure that I could create that type of time. Even if I wrote something someone suggested in the self-sabotage camp, like if they wrote eat two to two like for each meal, and then just to continue the habit of writing a plan.

Corinne Crabtree:

So before the kids come in or while they’re coming in or whatever’s happening, you could at least grab a Post-it note, write BLD in a line, two to two. You can write hunger. Like for everybody who’s wondering what two to two is, that’s what we used to call it. We don’t call it that anymore but for argument’s sake we’re just going to keep it at two to two right now. You could do that.

Corinne Crabtree:

So you’ve already proven to yourself that you don’t have to give up on your plan and you don’t have to break your habits and you don’t have to not orient your brain around what you’re going to do for the day just because you slept late. I just want you to see, because you’ve been around for a while, your self-sabotage story is telling yourself, “I don’t have time. When I’m late, everything has to go to hell.” Then when you think everything has to go to hell, you even create a story around what’s happening that’s not even based in reality. You’ve never shoved a child down, you said … “Like I didn’t even actually run through the halls. I just lied to you, Corinne. I told you, I ran from the car straight to the classroom.” I was like, “Bold-faced liar right here.”

Corinne Crabtree:

But when we tell our stories that way, we get anxious, we get jacked up, and the first thing we do when we have anxiety and stuff is we stop doing things that we think are good for us or extra. We just immediately go to putting out fires. Your 24 hour plan will never be a fire. It’s got to be something that you say I will do it because I deserve to spend at least 20 seconds on my busiest days telling myself I still matter. So I will write this down on a Post-it note, and if that’s all I got for today, at least I know I did that. That’s way better than not doing it at all.

Greece:

Thank you.

Corinne Crabtree:

You’re welcome.

Greece:

That’s a really helpful reminder. Thank you Corinne.

Corinne Crabtree:

You’re welcome Greece.

Greece:

And I don’t push children for the record.

Corinne Crabtree:

All right, thank you.

Greece:

Thank you.

Corinne Crabtree:

Bye bye.

Sarah:

Thank you so much Greece for your question. All right, we’re going to move on next to Angie. Good morning Angie, do you want to unmute and say what my question is?

Angle:

Good morning. My question is … So I am a No BS Bootstrapping Woman. I have been following you Corinne for probably two years now and I’m doing the work. I listen to you, I take notes, I journal. When you mention, you drop a name, I am on it. I follow them, I read their books. I’m not just passively listening to you. I am going after it, and as a result of that, I’ve lost 40 pounds, I’ve changed my job, I’ve had a career switch, and so I’m doing the thought work, and I just want to let you know how grateful I am that you put the time and effort for the free stuff, because that’s all I’ve done and I am so grateful for you.

Angle:

My question is talking about … I think it’s probably more of about the day after in perfect. I’m the typical perfectionist, I listen to Jon Acuff’s book, and I’m kind of detailing that I’m a perfectionism and then when I have the day after imperfect, what’s my next best decision? Or what’s my next meal or what’s my next choice and my current guideline that I follow after imperfect is I drink water and I wait for hunger, and the next thing I do is I make my 24 hour plan. Then I try to go back and see what was it about that day that made me blow up? It kind of comes back to I feel like I’m holding my breath all day long. I’m just getting through my day, and so I know that’s a thought, but do you have any type of encouragement or journal prompts or other directions that you would encourage me to go through?

Corinne Crabtree:

Yeah. So this is a great question. First of all congratulations on all of your … Oh, just congratulations on your hard work. I don’t even want to congratulate you on the 40 pounds, because the 40 pounds can’t happen unless you’ve been actually applying the work, which you are obviously doing. I have a couple of things that I think you can … Number one, you’re already doing an amazing job of realizing that I have this issue that when I make a mistake or have an over-eat or go off plan one day, that the next thing I need to do is at minimum, I institute these things. That right there gives your brain a lot of certainty, it gives a lot of clarity, it also tells your brain, it creates some safety for your brain. Like we know what to do. So you’re basically giving everybody a good course on how do you actually show up? Now what you want to do is you want to start working on why is it happening to begin with.

Corinne Crabtree:

There’s a couple things I just want to make sure that when you do overeat or when you make mistakes that you’re working first and foremost on not self-loathing. Even though you have a plan, just making sure that you’re not beating yourself up over it for all of you, that’s always key. We teach that really hardcore inside of No BS. The process of unwinding, thinking that we have to beat ourselves up and beat ourselves into submission in order to keep going. So just watch for that. Then once you undo that part, the next part I think you need to focus on is figuring out why you are holding your breath all day long. That’s the real issue. You have figured out, “I can figure out how to lose weight and I can figure out how to do all of these things. But what I’ve not done yet is how to feel better in my life.” So what I don’t want you to end up doing Angie is losing your weight but never feeling like you can breathe in your life. Like losing weight is amazing, and it can be a good distraction from the things that are stressing you out, driving anxiety, overwhelming you. But when that distraction is gone, when you have lost your weight, guess what becomes the focus of your life? All of this shit you’ve never addressed while you were distracting yourself with losing weight.

Corinne Crabtree:

That’s why so many of us regain our weight and implode because you have to be working on the drivers of your life while you’re losing weight. Losing weight will never feel so good that it will keep all of that at bay. Eventually, you’ll be like me. Nobody ever walks up to me ever, ever, and says, “Oh my god, you’ve lost 100 pounds. I can tell it.” Nobody gives a shit no more. I’ve had it off for 15 years. Everybody knows me as thin. So I don’t get the excitement. It’s not amazing, but what is the focus of my life? My life now. My life is just sitting there as an invitation to examine it and pull it apart, nitpick it and have problems and all this other stuff unless I’m working on my life.

Corinne Crabtree:

So if I was you, I would start figuring out what are the thoughts that I’m having during the day that are driving my feelings? Sometimes it’s easier to start with … For a couple of weeks, just noticing. You’re saying, “Like I feel like I’m just holding my breath.” A lot of times that’s people are waiting for the shoe to drop. They’re waiting for something to go bad. Your brain is always looking for what could be wrong, what might be wrong, worry about what could happen, that kind of stuff. If that’s the case, you have to really start working on that mindset. That piece of it. Because that’s going to be the core of the problem.

Angle:

My action plan that I’ve kind of started implementing is that when I have a shitty thought, I write it down, and then I can almost tally them up and at the end of the day, I can try to debunk the shitty thought. Because I know that when I’m thinking that my boss is a jerk or whatever it is, I have to go back through and I try to debunk that thought and I guess I’m just making sure I’m … I feel like I’m trying to go in the right direction.

Corinne Crabtree:

You’re going in the right direction. Like let’s … Here’s the one thing that I can tell you that you can … You’re going to get it from my mouth to your ears. You are showing me no sign that you’re doing this wrong. You are showing me every sign that you are doing this, and I hate to say right, but you’re doing it right, and it’s not because you’re doing it in the right order, and it’s not because you happened to pick the right podcast to listen to or anything like that. You’re doing it right because you’re just doing things that you’re hearing me teach and trying them out, and you’re being consistent with trying them out, and that’s all you got to do. Whether you’re a bootstrapper who’s just listening to the free stuff or you’re a No BS Woman, can’t ask for any more than that. There’s no perfect way to do this. There’s just here are the things, try it out, keep working at it, and don’t give up hope. That’s really all that we can do, and then you end up getting there. So I think you’re going to do just fine, Angie.

Angle:

I appreciate your time, and I have gratitude for you and your team.

Corinne Crabtree:

Thank you.

Angle:

So keep on rocking it out, sister.

Corinne Crabtree:

Alrighty. Bye bye.

Angle:

Bye bye.

Sarah:

Thank you so much Angie for coming up and asking your question, and if you are in the audience and you are wondering, what is Angie doing? She is actually using Corinne’s free resources, one is Corinne’s free three-day video course, where she teaches you the basics of weight loss and you can get that at nobsfreecourse.com, and Corinne also has a public podcast, Losing 100 Pounds, with Corinne on iTunes and Google Podcasts and this is a great way to learn from Corinne and she often throws out journal prompts and different things that you can do to try on your weight loss journey. If you use those free resources, we call you a bootstrapper. So check out those free resources to continue learning more from Corinne how to lose weight.

Sarah:

All right, next up, we have Tammy. Good morning Tammy. Do you want to unmute at the bottom right hand side of your phone and say my question is –

Tammy:

Hello. My question is that I began this membership probably about two weeks ago, and as I’m going through it, I feel like I’m really succeeding in the plans and everything. I have realized that a lot of my I think issues stem from relationships that I have in my life, and I’m just wondering … I know there’s a module on relationships but I’m just at a point where I don’t know what to do with my thought process to get those words that they’ve said to me and things like that out of my mind.

Corinne Crabtree:

So good question Tammy. Where are you at in No BS right now?

Tammy:

I did the newbie, I am doing the newbie again because I just joined like a week and a half ago.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay. Perfect.

Tammy:

So yeah.

Corinne Crabtree:

So here’s what I would do. I would just be grateful that you’ve noticed that part. We’ll address more of what to do with it in Module Two. So when we get to Module Two, which will be in two weeks with the newbie group, I want you to think about everything that someone said is a fact. Then you have a thought about what they said, and that thought is what’s causing you to feel whatever you feel. It’s not what they say to you.

Tammy:

Okay.

Corinne Crabtree:

So be in the space of that for right now. Because what we don’t want to do is we don’t start changing things until we know how you’re interpreting what people have said to you. So if somebody said, “Tammy, just got to tell you. You’re the worst human being on the face of the Earth and my life would be better if you dropped dead right now. Bitch.” Like if somebody said all of that to, you would have a thought and then you would have a feeling. So Tammy might think, “Oh my god, they shouldn’t say those things. They hurt my feelings,” and then you would feel rejected. Or you would feel anger or you would feel something. Somebody could say the exact same thing to me and I would think, “Cutting you from my life,” or I would think like, “Well, your opinion doesn’t matter. Mine’s better.” Like I would have a thought about that same sentence that would leave me feeling resilient. Or leave me feeling confident in myself. Like I wouldn’t take on their opinion. That doesn’t mean that sometimes we don’t want to be hurt. Like if my mother said that to me, I would probably want to sit in the space of thinking something like, “I wish my mother wouldn’t talk to me that way.”

Corinne Crabtree:

But when I’m aware that I think that and then I feel hurt and I know that I’m only hurting because of my thoughts, not because she’s wrong but because I don’t like it, I’m not going to eat over it. I’m going to be more willing to be heard and to think about it and make decisions for me. Like how do I want to think about myself, and do I want her opinion to matter that much in my life. Like I would be sitting there, untangling all of that because I would be building and strengthening the relationship with me. What most of us do is people say shit to us, we get indignant, we get angry, we blame, we victimize ourselves, we think, “They shouldn’t say things like that.” We’ll say 1,000 things that are useless and then because we don’t want to feel hurt, we’ll go eat a Snicker bar. As if that’s addressing anything. It doesn’t strengthen the relationship with yourself. It doesn’t help you set boundaries. It doesn’t help you figure out if you should pay attention to the opinion, none of it. So that’s what we want to work on.

Corinne Crabtree:

So just go through No BS like a newbie and spend your time when we’re on Module Two using the think-feel-do cycle of words that have been said to me, and I want to get really aware of what I think about them. Because how I’m thinking about the way the world talks to me is the reason why I feel the way I do. That either empowers me to start digging in and forming a better relationship with myself, or it disempowers me to eradicate the relationship with myself.

Tammy:

Do you talk about how to make that same sentence that you just said that it made me feel rejected, do you teach us how to turn that around and make us feel empowered?

Corinne Crabtree:

Yeah, we do all of that in Module Two, but here is the thing. Remember what I just said, that sentence didn’t make you feel rejected. That sentence was said, Tammy had a thought, and she felt rejected. I want you in that space because right now, you want to be aware that you’re creating your rejection. Because what ends up happening is if you don’t understand that piece, it’s like they said this, I feel rejected, you’ll eat to compensate, and then the result is I now reject myself and my goals and my dreams. You start rejecting yourself through what you do to yourself.

Tammy:

Okay.

Corinne Crabtree:

We don’t want to be a rejecter of ourselves. We either want to be able to sit with rejection and be like, “You know, this does hurt and here are my reasons. I like my reasons for being hurt.” When we are examining and thinking about it and stuff, we’re not sitting there eating. Because we’re thinking. But when we don’t understand that part where words are said, I think something, I feel something, we typically end up reacting and we don’t … Most of us who are listening to this call aren’t going to be reacting in a way that helps us feel accepted and loved by our own self. So this is what I would do if I was you, Tammy. Go through it like a newbie. Are you a moderation mama, deep dive diva, where are you at in the spectrum of taking in all the information of No BS?

Tammy:

Deep dive.

Corinne Crabtree:

All right, if you’re a deep dive diva, I’ll give you … The rest of you who don’t have a lot of time and don’t want to listen to every word that comes out of my mouth, put your earmuffs on children. You don’t need to hear this part. But for Tammy, what you can do is you’ll probably go through Module One pretty fast. Do you feel like you already have a grasp of the basics?

Tammy:

Yes. In fact I just started Module Three, so I have been through Module Two but I have to say it kind of confused me and I think … I just don’t know what to do with those thoughts and … So I’ll go through it again.

Corinne Crabtree:

Take Module Two one more time and then I want you to be doing Thoughts 2.0, where we dive deeper into which thoughts to switch, which thoughts to level up, and which thoughts to turn down and amplify. So why don’t you take that, listen to Module Two one more time, take Thoughts 2.0, and then when we start … By the time you get through all that, you’ll be picking back up with us at Module Three. If you’ve already listened to Modules One and Two, you’ve got the best two weeks where you can focus on Module Two and Thoughts 2.0.

Tammy:

Okay.

Corinne Crabtree:

All right?

Tammy:

And Thoughts 2.0 is just found –

Corinne Crabtree:

If you go to … Just log into your account over at nobswomen.com, go to Weight Loss … What’s it called, Sarah? I don’t have my screen up.

Sarah:

I’m pulling it up right here.

Corinne Crabtree:

Yeah, I think it’s Weight Loss Resources. If you hit the three lines, if you’re on [inaudible 00:42:55] if you go to the website, it’s either called Weight Loss Resources, but there’s self-paced workshops in there.

Tammy:

Yes. I know that one.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay. Thoughts 2.0 is inside the self-paced workshops. So you can do that while you’re doing Module … Like do Module Two again, one more time, and then do that on the back end. I think you’ll have a way bigger understanding of all of it and then the other thing I would say is use Ask Coaches. Like do this is what was said to me and like do a journal entry and submit your best think-feel-do cycle where you think you are right now and what you could be thinking and let them help you. That’s what they’re there for. Okay?

Tammy:

Okay, and that’s who? The … Something dinged right when you were saying that on my end. So who was that, the weight loss coaches you said?

Corinne Crabtree:

All of our weight … So if you go to nobswomen.com, and you go to Get Coached, there’s a feature called Ask Coaches, where you can submit like … All right, so and so said I’m an asshole and I should drop dead right this moment, I started thinking blah blah blah blah blah, wrote about it, I’m so pissed, they shouldn’t say things like this. You can air your dirty laundry out, then you can say, “I want to learn how to think about this differently. Here’s what I’ve learned in Module Two. I’m going to take my best shot at this is the thought, this is the feeling, this is what I’m doing, this is how I … I don’t even know how to get to another thought. You can take that to them and they’ll coach you in there. As often as you want to do it.

Tammy:

Okay cool.

Corinne Crabtree:

Okay.

Tammy:

Okay. Thank you.

Corinne Crabtree:

You’re welcome. Bye bye.

Tammy:

Bye.

Sarah:

Thank you Tammy for your question and welcome to the No BS Land as Corinne likes to say. We are so glad you joined our community. All right, next up, we have Nancy. Good morning, Nancy. Do you want to unmute and say my question is.

Nancy:

Good morning Corinne and Sarah. Thank you for taking my question. I completed the challenge last week, watched all the Zoom videos and have been trying to … I’ve actually been very successful in implementing the basic four but I know that the key to me being successful in the long run is journaling and I would like to start journaling now and I’m really not sure where to start with journaling, what’s a good thing to journal about. I’ve got a few ideas from listening to some of the other questions, but I would love to hear from you Corinne what you recommend for getting started journaling because I think that’s going to be a big key to me being successful in the future.

Corinne Crabtree:

One of the easiest for everybody to start off with journaling is just how am I thinking and feeling about my day. Like that literally is like … If you don’t ever know what to write, you can always just say like what am I thinking and feeling about my day. You can even do something along the lines of today, the top three feelings were and the reason why I felt this way was because and just tell your story. That is one of the first ways to start journaling.

Corinne Crabtree:

Another good way to get started, and I know this sounds crazy, but go to Pinterest. Type in journaling prompts. You’ll get 5,000 blog sites of people who have journaling prompts on anything and everything you can ever imagine. I mean that … Like I’ll always, every now and then, I just go and I just look to see what other people are asking. Those are all good journaling prompts. The other thing that you could do is listen to my podcast. Almost every single podcast that I’ve ever recorded, I will say in there, “Y’all should ask yourself, you should write about this,” and make it like as you’re listening to the podcast, start keeping … Like get a notebook and just start writing questions that Corinne has and then literally just every day, pick one and just write about it for the day. There’s no perfect question, there’s no perfect thing. You will uncover stuff at any time.

Corinne Crabtree:

Just like this morning, I woke up and we have something in our family going on. In fact if you are all praying individuals, my uncle yesterday, my mother who … She takes care of him, he lives with her, he’s lived with either my mother or my granny my entire life. Had a major brain bleed and had to have a craniology yesterday, and I just got a message from her saying that they’re trying to cut his sedation down a little bit to see if he’s going to be able to wake up. He’s been in a coma, so anyway, we’re just all praying. Just anyway. We’re like 50/50 at this point. So I woke up this morning with a ton of self-doubt. Like that event had me so worried, worrying what’s going to happen, worrying about my mother and stuff that my brain woke up this morning now, doubting all kinds of other stuff. It just started like, it was just like … It was so exhausted from worry yesterday that today, it woke up looking for all the problems, and it … Just like a good brain, it found as many as I wanted. It was like, “And this is a problem and this is a problem and this is a problem.”

Corinne Crabtree:

So I just literally wrote down this morning, “I’m feeling self-doubt because I keep thinking,” and I just made a list of all the things that was coming up for me, and for each one of them, I just went through and said, “It’s okay. This is normal.” Then I challenged myself on them, I was like, “Well is this really true? Do you always think this when it comes to this subject and it’s just heightened right now because you’re a little bit worried over here?” So I just wrote, it was just like basically talking to a best friend. So I mean it’s just … I mean there’s no perfect way to journal. There’s no best things to journal on. For a lot of us, it’s just a matter of being willing to get in there and write, and sometimes I even just start the day with like how do I want to think and feel today. I don’t even feel like going through a bunch of uncovering what might be wrong.

Corinne Crabtree:

All I want to do today is think about how do I want to think and feel about my day, and I write about it and I’ll say, “I want to feel confident, and if I want to feel confident, here’s all the areas today that I need to think about and how like I write and this is how you’re going to want to show up confidently. You’ll want to say these things, you’ll want to do these things. This will help you feel confident all day long.” A lot of times that’s another good way to do it. So I hope that was helpful.

Sarah:

Thank you so much for your question today, Nancy. Did you have any other follow-up questions? Don’t think so. Okay, well that … There we go.

Nancy:

Sorry, no further questions. Thank you so much. I have lots of ideas after that answer Corinne and I really like the idea of responding to the questions that you asked in the podcast because I am listening to the podcast and that also gives me some direction for what to do with processing the podcast, so thanks so much. Appreciate it. Thank you.

Sarah:

Thank you for your question. That is our show today. If you have any more questions, please come back. We’re going to start doing our weight loss Q&A about once a month here on Clubhouse, and we’ll be announcing that through our newsletter. So if you haven’t taken the free course yet, go to nobsfreecourse.com to sign up for Corinne’s free course and get on our email newsletter as well and if you’re a No BS Woman, we’ll let you know when that call will be on the training calendar. Corinne, do you have any last words for our audience members today?

Corinne Crabtree:

No. Just y’all get out there and slay. For all of you who did the challenge, you have all you need and for all of you who are No BS Women, get in the Facebook group, get into Ask Coaches. Use the resources you have. You have so much stuff to help you make you successful. We are here for you and we are doing all the things. So ask questions, don’t sit around thinking it’s too much or that you’re confused. Ask questions, that’s the best thing you can do as a new No BS Woman.

Sarah:

Alrighty. We will see y’all next month. Make sure to follow Corinne and Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne in the club, that little green Monopoly house box at the top of the screen and we’ll see you later.

Corinne Crabtree:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts, help you lose your weight without all the bullshit [inaudible 00:51:46]. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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