Women, especially over 40, come to me struggling to lose weight. They are often eating too few calories.
They are active, exercising 4-6 times a week, strength training, doing cardio, yoga, and more. They have a well-balanced, active lifestyle, and they eat pretty good.
I always get nervous when they say “I can't lose any weight” because I know what's coming next.
“Sometimes I go over my calories and blow it. I get tired of being hungry and just want to be like everyone else. But, I eat healthy most of the time.”
I have blogs that deal with the diet stalls that stem from mindset (basically how you avoid the binge/restrict mindset).
The closer you get to your 40's, the hormones start changing. Hell, it all starts changing! Face, boobs, sleep, hair, you name it. LOL
But a big one is that your body is READY for any mishaps with your diet. If you overeat or binge it stores fat faster. If you eat junk, it goes to your belly faster. If you diet it comes off slower.
Most of us grew up when 1200-1500 calories a day was the norm. You dieted with little emphasis on exercise. Diets were about ignoring your body. You gave your body barely what it needs to survive and the rest of the time you were to knuckle through.
The PROBLEM is this: Your BODY wants to thrive – not deprive. It's goal is to love you and help you feel good. You starve it and it works to help you want to eat. It wants to thrive.
And, when you hit your 40's you have taught your body lessons: We starve and store fat until we overeat where we are forced to store fat.
In our 20's and 30's the body can BARELY tolerate this behavior for the time being. It is still trying to keep you a baby making machine. You need muscle and bone to do this. It takes less to do more.
Some of my 30 year old clients have seen thyroid issues, adrenal fatigue and other early signs they have deprived their bodies far too long already. These crazy low calorie diets are catching up to us faster and faster these days.
Once you coast into the 40's your body is primed to deteriorate, though.
We start losing our ability to have children. Our muscle starts to waste without effort. The hair thins. And, we store fat in our belly because our body says “you don't need birthing hips – you need a liver, kidneys, and other vital organs!”
I am writing this blog not from a scientific point of view (trust me there are PLENTY of internet gurus who can give you research and all that jazz). You won't see things sited but I can tell you that if you are nodding your head…BAM. There's one proof. What women go through is always my best evidence and I coach women all day, every day.
But, I want to be the TORNADO SIREN who is going to give you chills that your ass better change or your ass is going to change!
My young girls who read this LISTEN HARD. You need to stop over-dieting in your 20's and 30's.
I can promise you'll be seeking me out at 40 pissed you were hungry and working hard for years. All it got you was an extra 20lbs extra that is like brick and mortar today.
I don't have people eat below 1400 calories a day for this very reason; it long-term makes you a fat storing machine.
Doesn't matter how much you train. Eventually your body finds other ways to adapt to using 1200-1400 calories as a maintenance level.
The body is smart. It's meant to keep you alive. And it's goal is to adapt to what you do.
You sit around for 30 years – your spine will curve.
You severely restrict calories – your body will learn to operate as efficient as possible at the low calorie range.
Your body will eventually think we better learn to live on this really low budget. We better start the savings account – on your butt.
What I do for my members it teach them to avoid severe ANYTHING.
No severe calorie deficits. Eat when you begin to get physical hunger and STOP when you are between satisfied and full. No overfilling the gas tank and no running it until it hits FUMES. I teach my personal clients how to not count calories but how to learn your body's cues. So freeing.
They don't focus on calories but on types of food they eat. Why they eat. And they learn what real hunger and real fullness feels like. So many people only know two things: starving and stuffing. HANGRY and OUT OF CONTROL. That's no way to live, BTW.
If you do count calories, you'll need to slowly bump up your calories to a level that has your body feeling good and running efficiently like my non-calorie counting clients.
The lower your calories the LESS joy food you can eat. Why? No nutritional value but a large percentage of your overall intake.
My best advice is to increase calories by 100 per week.
Example:
You eat 1300 a day now – 1400 a day for a week.
Next week move to 1500.
Keep bumping until you start to feel satisfied with your food, can include more variety, have a treat of 10% of your food each day, sleep better, and notice you aren't a cranky person. 🙂
Be a woman determined to not teach your body how to store fat and be hungry!
Allow your body to realize you are not getting old and starving!
Last piece of advice. When you UP calories your scale MIGHT go UP, too.
It is likely not fat which is what we all think. It's often your body adding back in vital hydration and muscle glycogen stores you have depleted. That stuff doesn't make you stuff your pants. It's the stuff that makes you feel like you have energy!
Often my more active members who can't lose weight notice a few weeks of nothing but increased energy, better workouts, and good sleep.
If it will get in your head, stay off the scale and get out the tape measure. Get the calories up and track your neck, arms, bust, waist, hips, and thighs. That truly tells you if you are getting smaller or bigger. Track your moods, how fast you are walking and running, how much weight you are lifting, and how many hours your sleeping.
That stuff is a much better indicator of your fat loss than a scale number EVER will be.
I thought this was very beneficial! I’m pretty sure all these years after I lost 30 pounds 35 years ago and have done this to my body, because I was afraid I would gain the 30 pounds back. Now at 54 my weight fluctuates up and down 8 pounds. Right now I’m just trying to lose 5 pounds. I work out every day and have a personal trainer. According to my Fitbit watchI burn 2,300 to 2,500 calories a day. It is just not coming off. I will try to do it your way. Thank you so much for the information. best Meg
This is absolutely correct! Took about 6 days, and then it was like my body went “He** Yeah! . This is how I’m supposed to work!”. Great article.
Patience is also the key, but it’s much easier to be patient when you feel good and are enjoying food like you should.
I’ve lost 86lbs and can’t eat more than 1200 calories a day or I gain and I work out loads with 20-30 lbs left to lose it’s a really hard life
This article sounds life saving I will try do this thanks
So my 600 pound life,, they are put on a 1300 cal diet and the weight falls off. Me not so much ???
I can’t really increase above 1400 kcal now. I never did a diet in my life, I never struggled with my weight, I was a very thin teen and I used to eat chocolates and ice cream and as a young woman I have a healthy weight and eat not quite healthy but normal portions, avoiding stuff I didn’t like that luckily was also unhealthy.
After I turned 31 I was wrongly prescribed a terrible med called olanzapine, that gave me severe anxiety so while I was on that pill I began binge eating and gained 10 kg, from 65 kg to 75 kg. Eventually I quit but it worsened my depression and I ended up with 88 kg and insuline resistence. I am vegetarian so I went to the doctor and had to take suplements for B12 vitamins and Proteins and visit nutritionist. In about 8 months with new diet and excercise (and the proper antidepressant) I lost 14 kg, but I got lazy and gained 8 kg. Now I’m very careful, I’m logging every meal on MyFitnessPal app, because I’m not the kind of person who counts calories. I managed to reduce my calorie intake from 2000 to 1400 slowly and currently my weight is 77 kg, but I’m stuck! I’m 37 years old, no kids, still menstruating, I don’t know if it’s the age, no longer insuline resistent, still overweight (height 1.67 m), I know I need more protein but I don’t eat “empty calories”, no fast food, no white bread, no sugar, no alcohol, no meat, very low fats, fruits, veggies, It’s been 2 months and I’m stuck on 77 kg. Should I increase excersice despite that would mean my overall calorie intake would end up being perhaps less than 1200 due to more calories burned through excersice? I think that’s exactly what your article says we shouldn’t do!
My thyroids are fine, my liver fine, my heart fine… I don’t know anymore…
I gained 40 pounds in 6 months with no change in diet. Getting older is no fun.
I did the same…tall and thin until I reached my late sixties..then BAM…without changing my eating habits I gained 40 pounds. I’m now limiting my calories to 1300 and walk at least two miles every day…six weeks in I’ve lost a whopping 3 pounds…I’m always hungry! Getting old is not for wimps!
yes. i agree with your statement. good diet, adequate exercises, healthy lufe style and sound sleep these things matter than the bathroom scale.
Calorie diet for weight loss
So if I have been living on a very low calories diet for years and maintaining (except to gain on vacation or holidays – which never comes off). How long long do you recommend increasing calories if my BMR is about 1400 according to a breath calorimeter?
I thought 1200 kcal was a safe weight loss number? What is a safe number? If I gain anything, it never comes off, even if it’s a one day excursion. I can gain 2 lbs (permanently) from one meal. I’m thinking it’s water weight, but it will not budge.