August 7, 2026 You keep asking how to fight your food urges. That is the wrong question, and it is keeping you from losing weight!

Every diet you ever did taught you to fight. Use your willpower. Try harder. Just don't eat it.

So it makes sense why you think you should "just be tougher" or "fight harder."

Well the diets have been WRONG. They've been trying to get you to solve the wrong problem so it's no wonder it's felt impossible to handle your urges and cravings.

In this episode, Corinne Crabtree tells you all about how an urge is a signal telling you something important. It's trying to get you to pay attention to things that once you know them, you can fix them, and urges start going away.

So instead of fighting you want to understand the message an urge is trying to send. And there are five things an urge could be trying to tell you. Make sure you listen because this could make losing weight a lot easier.

Want to keep going? Grab Corinne's free video series at https://nobsfreecourse.com.

Okay, welcome back, y'all.

So today we are going to talk about one of the questions that I get asked all the time, which is, hey, Corinne, how do I fight my urges?

Women ask me all the time, how do you even get to a point where you can just fight your urges better? Like, what should you do to do that?

Now, this is an important topic today because you've probably been told your entire life that fighting urges is the answer to your weight loss. It is the exact thing that's keeping you from losing your weight. And I bet you think that.

I can't tell you how many times, when I was 250 pounds, I thought that the reason why I was fat was because I just couldn't fight hard enough.

And as long as you are trying to fight your urges, I promise you this: you are never, ever going to actually deal with the reason the urge is there to begin with.

The reason urges are there is where all of your weight loss is hiding.

So let me say that again.

The reason behind your urges, that's why they're showing up.

So we don't want to fight them. We're trying to do the wrong thing.

So if you've been white-knuckling your way through your urges for as long as you can remember, if you are always trying to just strong-arm yourself not to eat, if you're saying things like, you can't have that. You shouldn't eat that. You're not hungry.

If you're fighting, basically, it's like you're yelling at yourself. That's what it feels like when you're fighting urges.

And fighting urges will always feel and sound like you are wrestling with something. It's almost taxing physically. I mean, it wears you out. And it's for damn sure, I promise you, taxing you emotionally.

So if any of this sounds familiar, if it sounds like you, then I want you to buckle up because this episode, I am going to show you what you've been missing this whole time. Why you've been wearing yourself out. Why losing weight feels so exhausting. Why your urges feel like this big, bad, ugly thing and you dread them and you cave to them and you quit over them.

So you're about to understand your urges, I promise you, in a completely whole new way.

And it will feel relieving when you are done with this podcast. It should feel to you like, okay, now I know what's really going on, which means it's going to be a lot easier to figure out what you really need to be doing.

And I promise you, it is not putting up a fucking fight with your urges.

Now, one of the reasons why you're always thinking that you've got to fight your urges is because that is how society talks about it.

I am sure that you have heard your mother say at some point in your life, I'm just going to fight my urges to not eat that cake.

You probably have girlfriends around you right now who talk about fighting with their urges, denying themselves of things that they love. I just got to try harder.

And all of us have been conditioned our entire lives to think that every time we want to eat something that we did not plan for, we need to just try hard and we need to use our willpower.

I mean, I want you to think about this. How many times have you had some fucker say, just don't eat it?

Like, that's really easy.

I always say in those moments, I'm like, no shit, Sherlock. I should just not eat it. Don't you think if I could, I'd be doing it?

We ain't dumb. Of course we don't want to eat it, but doing it is a whole other thing.

Because on the inside, it doesn't feel easy to us. It feels like we've got to put up a fight because everything inside of us is just loud and it's screaming and it's wanting and it's demanding. It's almost like your body feels like it's going through a little earthquake.

I mean, if you think about it, it kind of makes sense. If you put a lot of noise in your head and you feel like your body is almost shaking and restless, or you're super antsy every time you want to eat a hamburger or some chips or some candy, it feels like you might need to fight with it.

It feels like you need to argue with it. It feels like you need to strong-arm it, almost like you're doing an arm-wrestling competition.

But I promise you that is the opposite of what we need to do.

And I know you feel like you need to, but it is not the answer. That is the last thing that you want to be doing.

So I think another thing that happens when it comes to urges that makes them feel almost like you have to fight them is that when an urge hits you, I bet you think, oh my God, this shouldn't be happening. Why do I have to think about food all the time?

So we all act like our urges are a major problem. Like, if I just didn't have urges, then I'd be losing weight. If I didn't just have urges, then I would be good with my food.

And we blame our urges for killing our diets. They are the thing that's fucking us over every single time we want to lose weight.

I mean, I have talked to thousands of women. And we really think urges are this bad thing.

And I think that that is a huge problem.

Because when you think urges are terrible, they're bad, that they get you off your game, that they get you off track, or that they can somehow make you eat, then guess what?

The second you start wanting to eat something, the second that your brain starts asking for food, when it wants the chips, when it wants the candy, when it's wanting to blow your diet, we panic because we have it in our head.

I shouldn't be thinking like this. I wish this would go away. This is what screws me over.

It's almost like we imagine in our head. I want you to think about this image, that if you're walking down a dark alley and somebody's coming at you and you start panicking, what do you do?

You probably fight them. You're going to defend yourself.

I always tell people, if some motherfucker tries to get me, I am not going to be one of them bitches that cooperate and hope for the best. I will be going down like a slugger. I will be scrappy. I will be that wild-ass animal that you do not want to try to tame.

So urges are the same thing.

If we make them out to be some type of woolly booger hiding in a dark alley that jumps out at us every single time, like we're trying to walk through the kitchen, guess what?

We're going to not feel safe around them. We're going to think that they're harming us. And that would make a lot of sense as to why we think we've got to fight them to stay safe in our diet.

So the answer is, we don't want to fight because urges aren't something that, first and foremost, we have to feel like we're in danger around.

And that's one of the things we're going to talk about today.

If you don't start seeing your urges as something other than a problem, as something that's not safe, something that's killing your diet, murdering your diet, then you're going to be stuck in a situation where you always feel like you want to fight them and you're panicking when they're happening.

And I just want you to think about that.

When we think urges are a problem, we create other problems for ourselves.

The hardest thing to do when you're losing weight is to try to lose weight when you have an already busy, stressful life. And then you're adding on top that when I lose weight, I've got to fight my way through it and panic every single moment something happens that I think shouldn't be.

That is an awful way to do it. It is like, I don't blame you for quitting at all.

That's why I spend so much of my time trying to help you think about things that are happening in an entirely different way, because I don't want another woman having to lose weight the hard way.

I don't want you to feel like the only way to lose weight is to do hard things, to try harder, to be good, to be stricter. I just need more rules.

No, you don't. You really don't.

But there is, I'm just telling you right now, there is a way to make all of this easier. Doesn't mean it's all easy, but God damn, the diet industry has done a number on us.

Fitness professionals these days are terrible about telling us that we need to try harder, that we can do hard things. I'm like, that's the wrong message to be sending women. We already know we can do hard things. We do plenty of them during life.

And we're doing so many hard things throughout our life that eating is the only way we know how to cope.

So if your person that you listen to when it comes to weight loss advice is not talking about emotional eating, is not helping you fix shit like I do, run the fuck away because they're going to give you a short-term tactic to lose some weight. And then the second that's done, all that emotional eating is going to come back.

I don't want to see women anymore being the roadkill of diet life, where they are constantly having to lose weight and gain weight, lose weight and gain weight, simply because all they do is try hard, get themselves wore out, take a break by eating and regaining weight again, and then gear up for the next round.

We don't need that, y'all.

So before we get into all of it, let me tell you the most common times that you're probably getting hit with urges.

So we already talked about how you need to understand that urges aren't something we're going to fight, that that's going to wear you out, and that we are going to need to see urges in a different way, which I'll talk about in a minute.

Like, we can't keep defining them as a big, bad thing, or we're never going to be able to approach them in a way that actually makes our weight loss easier, that understands what's really going on.

And then when we lose weight, we've actually solved problems that we will never have to solve in maintenance, so we don't have problems come back later.

So for some of us, when we're overwhelmed or we're stressed out at work, we use food to calm ourselves down so that we can get things done or we can get busy again.

A lot of times urges will hit late at night after everybody else goes to bed because it's really the first fucking time all day that you've had to yourself.

And in that moment, the urges are really loud. It's likely the first time that there's been any quiet in your life all day long. And so it's not that the urges weren't there. They're just able to finally be heard.

And then some people's urges hit if they go out to eat. If they drive past a food, like a fast food restaurant, that was me. I was fine until I drove past a McDonald's. If it was at the end of the day and I was driving past the McDonald's, my car somehow just magically turned right into that goddamn parking lot every single time.

And then some of us, when we're around food that we normally don't have in front of us, we typically have urges then.

So there are a hundred different situations as to why there are times when you have the urge to eat. You either have the urge to eat too much. You have the urge to eat something that you didn't plan. You have the urge to eat when you're not hungry.

So there are lots of different situations.

And sometimes we just have urges to eat something because we haven't had it in a long time, because it's just sitting there, because somebody else is having it, because it actually does taste good.

But I will tell you right now, food tasting good isn't a sin. It is not wrong. Just like your urges aren't wrong either.

Urges are there.

So write this down.

Urges are there to illuminate something for us.

I'll say it again.

Your urges are there to illuminate something for you.

So instead of thinking they're bad, they screw me up, I can't handle them, we're going to replace all of that thinking, at least for this podcast, and we're going to open up our beautiful little minds, ladies, and we're going to think urges are there to illuminate something for me.

So there are a hundred different situations in your life that can trigger you to have urges. But usually the feeling is always the same.

Let's say you have a shitty relationship with your urges. If you think that they're terrible, if you think that they make you break your diet, if you think that you have no self-control when you have them, then when you have this urge, you're going to feel panicky and anxious.

If you're an emotional eater, I'm going to tell you right now, the last fucking thing you need is to feel panicky and anxious because most emotional eaters, those are two of the biggest reasons why we eat.

We eat so we don't have to feel that way. We eat because we don't like being anxious.

This is why we have to kind of break down urges in a new way. And you need to understand them in a new way.

Otherwise, every time you have a desire to eat something, to overeat, or eat candy, or whatever, you're going to be freaking out on top of having that desire.

But you're going to have them your entire life. I promise you, we all will have urges our entire life.

Every human being has urges to eat all kinds of things from the moment they're born until the moment they go to the grave.

So you are not the only one experiencing this. Even the thin people are having the urges.

We're never going to make our urges go away.

So it's high time for us to start seeing them as something natural, something we can handle, something that's trying to illuminate something for us.

Because your urges are needed.

And once you understand that, you're going to stop wishing that they would end, and you'll want to stop fighting them because you'll now understand you don't need to, which will make everything a lot easier.

So let's break down what an urge really is.

So an urge to eat, especially when you're not hungry or when you didn't plan something or when you have an urge to eat too much, it's all happening for a reason.

So the way that I think about an urge is that an urge is a signal that, for some reason, I'm wanting to eat right now in a moment when I might not need to.

And I say that because I don't think all urges are trying to make us eat in moments that we don't need to. I think there are urges to eat when we really don't need to. And so there's a definite reason underneath that it's happening.

But sometimes I think urges are just really normal.

For example, if I'm on vacation and I'm at a restaurant that I never go to, and we're having a night out, and I see on the menu that there is my all-time favorite dessert, having an urge to have dessert in that moment, I would call it absolutely fucking normal.

It's also totally normal to sometimes be at home, see a commercial on television that shows a hamburger, and then suddenly you have an urge to eat something savory.

That's also very normal. That's just your brain getting triggered for things. I call that normal brain behavior. It doesn't always mean something's wrong or something's terrible going on underneath.

So I just want you to sit and think for just a moment. What if from now on, you decided that urges mean one of two things?

Either it's a signal that I really need something in my life right now, and that's what this urge is trying to tell me. And I need to figure out what that real need is.

Or this is just a normal fucking urge that everybody has.

Just think about that for a second.

Doesn't that sound a lot easier to think than, oh my God, I'm having an urge. This is awful. I shouldn't be wanting this. This is going to screw me over. I'm going to end up gaining weight.

I mean, that's a big-ass fucking load right there.

So just think about all the horseshit that you think about an urge every time you want to eat something that you think you shouldn't.

Because before we can quit fighting the urges, the very first thing we have to do is we've got to have a normal definition of what an urge is.

The definition needs to be calm, sensible. It cannot be you walking around thinking they're a woolly booger.

Because if you do, you are not going to feel safe every single time they happen. And when you don't feel safe, you are either going to just eat to get away from not feeling safe, or you're going to fight to try to get away from not feeling safe.

And then if you fight long enough, eventually you give up because you get tired of fighting.

So what I want to focus on right now is urges being a signal, the illumination. Urges representing a reason why you're wanting to eat right now when food really isn't the solution.

That's what we want to think about.

Very often, most of the time when you're having urges, you're trying to fix something in your life. You're trying to fix something that's going on emotionally for you. You're trying to feel better, soothe, comfort, get away from something, avoid something, delay something.

And when that is the case, fighting is not the answer.

We want to understand it.

So I once had a client. Her name was Tanya, and she'd lost 50 pounds with me. And we were talking about her weight loss.

And before she lost her weight, she said, every time I would come home at night after work, I would open up the fridge.

And she said, Corinne, I just stand there. And I'm just looking for something to eat. And most of the time, I'm just eating. And I never really understood why I did this.

And it was like, no matter how bad she wanted to lose weight, no matter how many times she told herself, today when I come home, I'm not going to stand in front of the fridge. I'm not going to eat. I'm not going to have it.

She said, it was like I would walk in comatose, and I would just find myself standing in the fridge yet again, searching for something to eat.

So she wanted to know, well, how do I fight this? How do I fight and not do that?

And I was like, I don't think we do that, Tanya. I don't think that that is the answer.

So I told her, I said, I just want you to get really good at telling yourself, the next time I'm standing in front of the fridge, I want to know that I'm standing there and I'm looking for something to solve a problem that food will never be able to solve.

That's all we're going to do.

So she said, Corinne, I took your advice. Last night, I came home. I opened the door of the fridge. I closed it and I said, Tanya, what you need isn't in there. You need to go sit on the couch, and you need to think about what do you really need every day when you come home from work?

And when she started asking that question, she said, every day I would sit on my couch. She said, sometimes I would cry because I had had a bad day, and I'd been eating and not allowing myself to comfort myself.

Next thing you know, she lost 50 pounds. She was like, I don't have the urge to eat anymore when I get home from work because now I'm meeting the need the urge really had.

And every night it wasn't a cry. Sometimes she just needed to tell herself, it's not as bad as you think it is. Sometimes she needed to actually lay down for 20 minutes and just decompress.

She found so many answers because she decided instead of fighting urges, instead of saying they're bad, they're screwing me up, they're keeping me from losing weight, she started listening to them. She just let them talk to her.

So typically, urges are there because something in your life is missing.

Maybe something is stressing you out. Maybe you're having hard days like Tanya. Maybe you're worried about your kids, your marriage, your job, your mama's health, whatever it is. And those things are what are triggering your urges to eat.

And just think about those things that I listed. All of those things, they can be hard.

Worrying is hard on you. Stress is hard on you. Long days are hard on you.

And if you try to fight an urge that's there because something underneath that you need is already hard, you've taken something that's hard, and now you've put some more hard on top of it.

We've got to stop that in order to figure out what we're going to need to be able to do for ourselves to make our life a little bit easier.

I always say to my clients that if life is handing you a shit sandwich, the last thing you need to do is put an extra layer of mayo on top.

So if you've had a long day, a shitty argument with your spouse or your kids, or you get an F on a test, if your job's being demanding, whatever's going on in your life right now, that is the shit sandwich. You fighting the urge is the extra layer of mayo you've slapped right on top.

And fighting doesn't even work.

I want you to think about it.

Because when you fight an urge, let's just say you're able to say no to that urge 10 times. Well, guess what? It's got to come back 10 more times because you didn't fix the fucking trigger. You didn't fix the problem.

All you did was eat.

If we really want urges to start going away, if you really want to get rid of them, and the only urges that you're getting are normal, run-of-the-mill, that-looks-tasty shit, guess what? Then you've got to start working on the shit underneath it.

Otherwise, the urge has every reason to knock on your door every single day.

So you're probably wondering, well, tell me all these reasons.

I'm going to run through them because this is the information I think women need to know.

Diets are just not telling us this shit. They're so focused on our calories and our macros and our willpower and whether we can do hard things.

I don't like all those stupid bullshit mantras and crap the whole diet industry is shoving down our throats.

I just don't think women should have to keep trying harder to lose weight. I don't think we should be on the endless search for more willpower and discipline.

What we need to do is to start learning how to meet our own fucking needs.

That is the one conversation that I promise you is not going on nearly fucking enough in the world, especially in the diet industry.

The last thing they want you to do is to start meeting your own needs because if you met your needs, guess what? You ain't going to need your goddamn diets. You're going to solve the problem.

So the first big reason why we have urges is called physical restriction.

And this is when you are skipping meals because you're really busy all day, or you are drastically undereating because some bullshit diet has you starving your ass off to lose weight.

When you do not feed your body enough, your body does not know that you're just trying to fit into a pair of jeans or to get 50 pounds off. Sorry, I hope nobody on this podcast is trying to get to 50 pounds.

Your body starts thinking, dear Lord, there must be a famine going on.

It thinks food is scarce and that you might die.

Now, I know that sounds dramatic, but our brains literally act primitive. They are dramatic little bitches. They are not as developed and modern as the modern-day world is. Our brains literally think that at any moment, food could just go away.

So when you're way undereating, whether that's missing meals because you got a busy day or you forgot to eat, or you're missing meals because you're so busy doing everything for everybody that you're not even paying attention to your own needs, or you're way undereating because some bullshit diet has got your calories set really low, what your body does in reaction to that is it will turn up the volume of all that food noise in the quiet moments of your life.

And the second things settle down, it's going to be relentless. It's going to ask you to eat, and it ain't going to ask you to eat something healthy. It's going to ask you to eat something super sexy because it knows you'll do that.

I mean, when is the last time you were just like, oh my God, I've got an incredible urge to go eat a head of broccoli?

Said no one ever?

No.

It's going to try to get you to eat shit that you really love and that you typically would overeat because it thinks, I need to get a lot in. This bitch is in the middle of a famine, and this is probably going to happen again tomorrow. So I'm going to eat my fucking face off right now in preparation for doomsday tomorrow.

And there's an actual name for this. It's called the feast-famine cycle.

It's like you starve and then you feast. And then you feel like garbage about yourself. And then the next day, guess what? You're starving again. And then you feast again. And then you feel like garbage about yourself.

You think you just can't control yourself around food when the actual truth is this was never about you being able to control yourself.

This was always about your undereating and putting your body in a position to try to do the best it could to keep your ass alive because it thinks you're going to die.

Now, the second reason is called mental restriction. And this is one of the other things that's a big trigger for urges.

And this is when you deprive yourself of food you love, the things you like to eat, the things that you're cutting out because some diet told you, oh my God, bananas are the next worst thing that you could ever eat again.

Speaking of, there's like this chick on the internet right now who's getting literally slammed because she did a video about bananas. I'm like, oh my God, are we back to bananas being a villain?

I have never once had a woman come up to me and say, Corinne, I need to lose 50 pounds. Don't look under my bed. All my banana peels are stored underneath there.

Jesus.

Y'all, I'm telling you, you gotta be careful out there. It's dangerous waters in the diet world.

So the longer you cut out foods that you like, the longer you mentally restrict these foods, the stronger urges to eat them are going to get inside of you. It's going to build and it's going to build. It's going to build until the dam finally breaks.

And your mind is going to just be like, oh my God, it'd be so good if we could have a banana. Oh my God, it'd be so good if we could have ice cream. Oh my God, what about pizza? What about all these things that you've cut out of my life?

And every time you say, no, we're not having that. We shouldn't eat those things. It's like, well, I bet I should ask harder. I should just ask louder. I should ask more often.

And when you do eat one of those things, if I had to guess, what do you do?

You lose control.

It's not because you can't control yourself around those foods, I promise you. And it's not because you can't trust yourself around them. And it has nothing to do with them tasting really good. It isn't even that they're addicting.

It's literally because if you have been restricting, you've been cutting out all the food you love in order to just lose weight instead of letting someone like me teach you how to eat the food you love and lose weight, your brain is designed to ask for it more, pure and simple.

So you're not losing control. It's eventually your brain wins.

This is why we have to work with our brain, not against it.

And mental restriction also can happen a second way.

So for some women, especially the women who join my program, they'll come in and I tell them, girls, finally, diet freedom. We're going to eat the foods we love. We're going to lose this weight the way we want to live our life.

And they're like, oh my God, so great. I'm going to start planning my nachos and all my things right now, which is great.

So they start reintroducing them. They start planning them. And then they have a hard time stopping at enough. They overeat them because they're not used to eating them this way.

But here's where it screws them.

When they're eating them, they're mentally restricting. So even if they're actually getting the food, there's still a restriction playing.

So they will think the food is the problem when the problem is what's going on in their head.

So the entire time that they're eating something that they've loved and that they've planned, they're saying things like this.

You're being bad. This is probably going to make you fat. You know you shouldn't be doing this. I hope you don't overeat this.

Their brain is all like, hey, when you're eating this food, you're being bad. And so it feels like ass when they're eating it.

And then the reason why they end up overeating it is not because the food is powerful or because they're weak.

It is because the mind thought, oh, well, you're eating a hamburger, and you love hamburgers. But the entire time you were eating this hamburger, there was no fun. There was no enjoyment. It actually felt like you were doing something bad. It felt like you were getting ready to punish yourself.

So your brain thinks, well, we should probably eat more of this. It's looking for the joy. It's looking for the peace, the happiness, whatever it is you think you should be experiencing when you eat that food.

It wasn't getting it.

So it makes sense that you're not losing control.

What makes sense is, oh, my brain was still being restricted and deprived of the feeling it thought it would have. And that is because of the way I was thinking about it.

It has nothing to do with the food, and it has nothing to do with my lack of control.

Okay, now the third reason, and this is a big one, is the emotional eating component of all of this.

So very often urges are there because eating has become the only way you know how to manage your stress. It's the only way you know how to deal with your worries, your anxieties, and any kind of basic negative shit that you have.

Eating has become the only way you know how to pass your time. It is the only way you know how to fit in at a party because you're so nervous that everybody's looking at you or even thinking weird things about you.

And also, eating might be the only way you know how to turn your brain off at the end of the day.

Let's say you had a really busy day and you're ready to relax, but the moment you slow down, you can't stop thinking about all the things you did today, all the things you didn't do today, everything you've got to do tomorrow.

It feels like your mind starts racing the second there's not stuff to do.

So for a lot of women, the only way they have ever found that they can actually shut their mind off is to eat something.

So if emotional eating is what is driving your urges, then no amount of fighting or eating is ever going to fix it because the food is not the problem here.

You just never learned other ways to deal with your emotions.

You've never learned how to take a look at all the things that you think to see if maybe you need improved self-talk, ways to remind yourself more of what you do right in this life instead of all the things that you do wrong.

So much of emotional eating is literally rewiring what's going on in the six inches between your ears all fucking day. Not what goes on in your head when it's time to eat.

Now, the fourth reason is just straight-up nutrient deficiencies.

Very often, we have urges and cravings when we actually have a nutrient deficiency.

Let's say your typical way of eating is low on things like protein and fiber. Maybe you're not getting enough healthy fats or carbs in. Your body will try to get you to eat things you love that have some of those nutrients in them. And it will be trying to just fill your nutrient gaps.

So sometimes that urge is not emotional at all. It's just your body saying, hey, I need to get these needs met. So I'm going to ask for foods I know that could get that.

Like for me, I tend to be low on sodium. Basically, it makes me lose the sodium in my body super easy. I sweat like a beast. I pee out all the sodium and potassium and stuff. And I crave salty things a lot.

And I know that when I'm craving salty things, I just need to start adding salt back in. I need to drink an electrolyte that has salt in it. And that's what takes some of my cravings down and some of my urges.

Now, I will just say, I think a nutrient deficiency will represent about probably 10% of your urges. What I have found is most women are battling urges from the other four things. I would use that one as the last line of defense.

And the other four things are where I would put all of my energy and focus on solving.

Okay, so the fifth and last one is a lack of sleep. And this one sneaks up on a lot of women.

When you do not sleep enough, your hunger hormones get all out of whack. And your ability to think clearly also goes down the toilet.

So here's what actually happens in your brain.

Your brain knows that you are running on sleep deprivation. You are not getting near enough rest. So it starts rationing your brain power.

And what it does is it saves all of your good, clear decision-making for stuff that really matters in your life.

Things like driving your car without wrecking it, taking care of your children, and paying your bills so the lights don't get shut off and you don't get kicked out of your home. And then not getting fired every day at work.

So your brain looks at your whole life and says, hey, these are the things that are going to keep us alive. And these are the things that are going to keep us safe. And these are the things that are really important. That is where all of the decision-making will go for your brain.

Your diet, your wanting to look different by the holidays? Your brain does not give two fucks about it at nine o'clock at night when you are exhausted.

It can't even make decisions in that area because it's already spent what little bit of brain power it's got on other things in your life all day.

So of course you're going to have urges, and you're going to reach for food. It's going to be really hard to stop simply because you're not giving yourself enough rest and enough sleep to keep the decision-making part of your brain operating at a higher level.

So I want you to think about this.

If you're spending all your time trying to figure out how the fuck to fight urges, you're missing out on fixing so many things in your life that give you a better life.

We just talked about five things that could be going on underneath every single urge. Five needs that are sitting there desperately waiting, arms shooting up flares, and doing all they can, yelling and screaming at you to fix things.

And you're ignoring all of them by white-knuckling past a bag of chips.

Why in the world would we want to fight an urge when the urge is trying to tell us something we actually need to know?

If you've got nutrient deficiencies, you need to fix that. If you're exhausted, you need to fix your sleep. If you're carrying a lot of extra stress and having a bad day after bad day after bad day all the fucking time, you need to deal with those things. You need somebody helping you take a look at them and find ways to deal with shit going on in your life.

And for God's sake, if you're not eating enough and your body is screaming because you're denying it food, well, fuck, we need to learn how to feed ourselves.

What I don't want you doing is sitting there thinking that you need to fight urges.

Because when you spend all your time trying to fight urges, that means you're going to keep starving yourself. You're going to keep running on no sleep and rest. You're going to keep eating through all your feelings in life instead of figuring out what the fuck's going on in my life and where do I have some power and control.

I remember years ago after I lost all my weight, when Logan got diagnosed with autism. Chris and I went to this conference right at the beginning of it. We were trying to learn anything and everything we could to help our child.

The very first thing they told us was that 85% of couples with a child on the spectrum were going to end up in divorce.

Well, that freaked both of us out pretty good.

And I remember that night we went back to that hotel, and I looked at Chris and I said, I just want to order a pizza, and we're both going to get one, and I'm going to eat all I want.

We were so scared out of our minds that the only thing that I could think of in the moment was to eat my face off. And so I did. I sat there, and I ate pizza until I felt sick. I was crying my eyes out, and I was terrified about what was going to happen to my child.

I remember the next day waking up, though, and I had a thought that really changed everything for me.

I thought, Corinne, you cannot eat your way through this. You are never going to eat enough food to save your baby. If you eat every single time you're scared, if you eat every time you're worried about him, if food is going to be how you're going to cope, you're going to regain every pound you've lost. You are not going to be able to help him because you're going to be in your own personal crisis.

So we got to figure out what we need to do to help our baby and to help ourselves, period.

I knew that fighting urges was not going to be a part of the plan. It just couldn't be.

I think that night when I ate all that pizza was one of the first times I ever realized that when I was really scared, terrified, worried, food was the first thing that I wanted.

And that I was going to have to learn how to not worry so much and to trust more, to not be so scared and to be focused on what I could do.

Like, there were so many things that I was going to have to learn to do in order to save my child.

And I'm so glad I did that because I often think about what I would have missed had I eaten my way through all the tough years trying to get Logan help.

If I'd eaten my way through every worry about him, I would have spent years in pure panic, hunting for every sign he was behind, every way he was not like the other kids, every reason to believe that I was failing him and failing as a mother.

Instead, because I would not let the food be the thing that got me through it, I had to figure out, what am I going to need to do for myself and tell myself to get through this?

I had to learn how to talk to myself. I had to learn how to calm myself down. My fears were running away from me.

I had to tell myself, I know you're scared, but let me tell you what you're doing right now.

There were so many good lessons on how to talk to myself when I was at one of the lowest moments of my life. And it came from me refusing to fight urges.

And also, it came from me refusing to eat over my emotions.

And I'll be honest, I probably would have helped him about the same whether or not I ate my way through it and regained my weight, or if I did it the way I'm telling you now.

But there's a big difference between the two.

One version of me would have had this beautiful boy at 23 years old who's driving, self-sufficient. But the only way I would have gotten here is I would have had to spend all those years since he was five years old worrying the shit out of myself.

I would have never given myself any credit. I would always be telling myself I'm not doing enough. I would have done all the same things with a lot of pressure.

And yeah, Logan would have turned out fine, but I wouldn't have been fine.

The way I did it, I got a whole life out of it.

I remember so many times telling myself, this is your fault. And then reminding myself, you don't know that. We don't know what caused this. There's no sense in blaming yourself.

I remember sitting there worrying that he would never talk and reminding myself, you are taking him to therapy. You are doing everything you can. You don't know what's going to happen in the future. You only know what's happening today.

I remember thinking that I was a bad mom and having to remind myself, you're doing a great job. Not many moms would go through all the hell that you go through.

So I honestly think Logan was always going to be fine no matter how I treated myself. I just got to wake up when he was 23 years old, look in the mirror, and like what I see. I got to wake up and love how I talk to myself.

I was the beneficiary of not eating my way through my urges by not fighting, by using my urges as a way to understand what my needs were.

You see, eating is not the solution to the hard emotions.

It's like eating is not a solution to being bored. The solution to being bored is to go out and create a more exciting life for yourself.

Eating isn't a solution to feeling unworthy or not good enough. Changing how you talk to yourself and how you see yourself is what does that.

And when you're fighting urges, it never makes them go away or fixes all that shit underneath. They always come back, and they get louder because they have a real need underneath them that's not getting met, and it's just desperate for your attention.

So those urges have to keep coming back until the need is met, or you just keep eating, and they just have to keep revisiting you.

So I don't want you to become a woman who is really good at fighting her urges.

You want to become a woman who understands what her urges are trying to tell her.

Because the day you can feel an urge come up and get curious instead of scared and ask yourself, what is it that I really need? What is this urge all about? Am I tired? Am I lonely? Am I starving myself? Am I stressed about something that I haven't dealt with?

That is the day everything in your life starts to change.

This is why I teach weight loss so differently. This is why I give my clients coaches.

This stuff is not easy to find out on your own. It's not always easy to look underneath and figure out, what is this urge really telling me?

So much of our bullshit just feels like life, just feels real. That's why my people get coaches. This is why we talk to you. We know how to find it.

We like to be the shepherd that helps you figure this stuff out.

Because I never want a woman to ever lose weight in my program. I want every woman to lose weight for good.

There is a big difference between people out there who will help you lose weight and those who will help you lose it and never have to do that shit again.

All right. I hope you have a good week, and I will see you next time.