September 18, 2026

I'll start when I'm ready. The hell you will. In this behind the scenes coaching episode with my members, I break down the three ways waiting shows up in your life and why the ready feeling never arrives. I go through the difference between the good kind of realistic and the fear kind, the one word in your sentences that tells you you're about to shrink your goal, and why every time you started something in the past it took a diagnosis or a wedding or a rock bottom to get you moving. Motivation and confidence get earned. They show up after you start, not before. Courage is what comes first, and I'll show you how to use it.

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Corinne Crabtree lost 100 pounds and has kept it off by fixing why she ate instead of dieting. She's the founder of No BS Weightloss.

Want her free video series on why you eat and how to stop? Grab it at https://nobsfreecourse.com.

Welcome back. So today I have a very special podcast for anyone who's sitting around thinking right now, "I'll start when I'm ready."

The hell you will.

When you have that thought, you know what you're gonna end up doing? You're gonna dig a fucking deep hole for yourself, and then your "ready" is gonna be when you've made your weight problem so much worse than it has to be.

So today what I wanna do is I wanna share a behind-the-scenes episode with you where I worked with my members on why we can't wait to feel ready and what we need to do to speed up when we're going to start.

So if you're sitting around and that's your problem, this podcast is particularly for you.

So I want you to just think about how many times in life have you said, "I'll start when I'm ready."

And if you had to sit and think right now, I don't know anyone, including myself, who has something that they would like to do and we're just waiting for this epic moment where it's just like the angels sing on high, the clouds part, somehow wisdom and readiness is bestowed on us, and now we're highly motivated and ready to go.

That is not how it works.

So for some of us, the way that we do it is we do it when we are restarting our weight loss.

That is a big example that I see very often, is that women sit around. They have had, let's say, a really busy period of life or something rocks your world, like a partner gets really ill, a parent dies, something major happens in your life, and it knocks you off your weight loss game.

And now that that stressful period's over, you know you want to get started, but you're waiting to feel ready.

And then for a lot of us, it's when we have a big goal or we have a dream that's kind of deep inside of us that has nothing to do with our weight. We sit around and we say, "I will do that when I'm ready."

And hell, some of us do it with, like, the little things, like just cleaning up our house.

Like, I love to do a closet purge, but I will tell you, I can't even tell you how many days and weeks and months I will wait and walk into a closet every single day that's disorganized, full of shit that I don't want to wear anymore but I haven't taken the time to purge and get rid of, have a hard time finding what I want to wear because there's about 10 things in constant rotation.

But I always feel like there's going to be this moment that comes when I'm going to actually feel ready to do it.

And we spend so much of our life waiting.

And it is a miserable experience. It's not terrible, but there's just residue and friction when we're doing that.

So usually I think most of us have something in our life that we really want. And it can be something big. It can be something little.

And we just wait to feel ready to go after it.

And we get caught up in waiting to feel motivated, waiting for confidence. Sometimes it's motivation. We think we need to feel motivated. Sometimes we think we need to feel confident.

"I need to know this is going to work before I do it."

And then a lot of times, this is the king Ding Dong, we're waiting for the right time, as if there's going to be a time where everything that we think gets in our way will magically disappear, the seas will part, and we can easily walk through.

So the problem is, at the end of the day, we have a lot of reasons why we just keep waiting.

And the waiting can go on for months, to weeks, for years.

So I want you to just think about how long have you been just about to do something?

"I am about to lose weight. I'm about to chase some dream that I have deep inside me. I am about to do something."

And waiting will always feel like a damn good idea. I promise all of you.

It feels patient. It feels really smart.

Sometimes waiting even can feel responsible, like it is the right thing to do.

But it actually is harming us, and it's costing us a lot of our life.

And I want you to really hear that.

It ends up costing us precious months, years, decades of our life.

So a lot of women do spend years sometimes hoping, wishing, and dreaming for things.

And it's like they're standing at the start line of their life, and they're just waiting for the feeling of readiness to come, tap them on the shoulder, and say, "Now's the time. I've done all I can. I've got everything ready for you."

And it just doesn't work that way.

So what I want to do today is I'm going to tell you why the readiness feeling never actually comes.

Because even if you've started something in the past, I promise you, it wasn't because you actually felt ready. There were other things going on.

So if you are someone who's sitting on the fence all the time of life, about to start things, waiting to feel ready, waiting for your confidence, your right time, and shit, it doesn't have anything to do with laziness.

Sometimes women confuse not doing things right now.

"Now is not the time. These things need to happen before I can. I've got to feel this way or I can't do it."

Sometimes we judge ourselves and say it's because we're lazy or because you can't do the things that you want to do.

I promise you that is not it.

Here's what's really happening.

No one's ever showed you what feeling ready is really all about.

And you probably don't even really know how to know when you're truly ready.

We have it in our mind it's supposed to feel a certain way, or we have it in our mind it's supposed to be a certain way.

And you've got to change that definition because it's wrong.

Because right now you don't really understand what ready is at all, which means you're never going to feel it.

And I don't want you sitting your entire life on the sidelines waiting for the wrong fucking thing.

So as a No BS woman, you've got to be done with waiting.

I need all of you to say that right now: "I am done with waiting."

And you've also got to know why feeling ready keeps eluding you.

Now, I want to say this because I think this is important.

You can be done with waiting to do something and not have to go after it.

Sometimes we just need to take an honest look at the things we say we want.

And if we keep waiting to feel ready and we kind of know that the ready is probably never going to come for us, we need to quit wanting it.

Now would be the time to no longer wait to feel ready.

Now would be the time to be really honest with yourself and say, "I don't know that I'm ever going to be ready for that anyway, so I am going to just say, I don't want this right now."

Because if you're waiting to feel ready, I'm just telling you right now, it's not the truth.

The truth is you could be ready at any moment that you choose to.

That's going to be a big lesson today.

Readiness is a choice.

It's not something that just lands upon you.

It's not because things became in alignment.

So instead of saying, "I'm waiting to be ready. I'll do it when I'm ready," say, "Right now, I'm not going to do this. I choose not to."

Sometimes that's the most empowering thing that we can absolutely do for ourselves.

Because it will be in that moment when you tell yourself the truth, "I don't want it right now. Otherwise, I'd just go do it. I'm choosing not to do it right now. Otherwise, I would just go do it."

If you immediately disagree with yourself and you feel terrible about it, then you are ready.

You're just scared, which are two different things.

So when we start telling ourselves the truth, that readiness is a choice to go after what we want, and we're going to choose to be scared, it might not work, and we're going to choose to make time for it, we're going to choose to let other things go for it.

That's just choices.

Okay, so let's get into the ways that waiting shows up in your life because we don't always recognize that what we're doing is sitting around painfully waiting.

So the first one is you probably call waiting to be ready "being realistic."

So let's say you want something in life.

And before you even really go after it, you tend to make it smaller.

You tell yourself, "I'm just being realistic."

Now, I think a lot of you do this.

I hear you all the time. It's like, you know, instead of declaring that, "I'm gonna lose all my weight," "I'm gonna be realistic, and all I'm gonna do right now is work on my water. Just gonna work on water."

There's no risk in water.

I don't have to solve my life's problems when I drink water.

I'm not poo-pooing you drinking water, but what I am telling you is it gets tricky because there's a kind of realistic that's actually good, and there's a kind of realistic that's actually you being a reactor to fear.

It is based in fear, not in goodness.

And they almost look the same from the outside.

And that's why I wanted to kick off with this one.

So the good kind of being realistic is when you make the first step to whatever it is you want so small that you're actually going to do it.

So it's a lot of what I teach y'all all the time.

I'm like, "Look, let's break this down into small steps. The smallest step that doesn't overwhelm you. One step that you can take so that your brain is not getting freaked out thinking about the 4,000 things you should be doing."

It's like, how do we make this so small that you can do it?

So let's say you want to start walking.

You might say, "I'm going to walk 10 minutes every day for a whole month and no more than 10 minutes. I one day want to be walking for an hour, but I know my joints right now. I know that I have to get used to making the time for it. I know that my family is not used to me doing anything for myself, so they're going to need to see me do things for myself in slow increments so that I'm not freaking out feeling guilty. They're not freaking out wondering, where the fuck is Mama? Why isn't she in the house right up my ass 24/7?"

So the thing you want is still the thing you want.

"I want to be someone who is a daily walker, and she goes out for an hour a day."

But we took a realistic way, which is, "I picked a starting point so small that I can pull off, and it's my first steps on the way there."

Now, that's what I call smart.

That's meeting yourself where you are at.

We are not lessening our goal, okay?

Now, the fear kind is when you don't make the step smaller. You make the whole goal smaller.

And you call that being realistic.

And you do that so that it feels okay to you to kind of shrink things down.

Because wanting what you want and not getting it, you're worried about it hurting.

You're worried about it devastating you, disappointing you.

Like, we think about all, like, "Oh my God, if I do this and I don't make it, here's all the horrible things I'm going to make it mean about me. And here's all the horrible things I think everybody in the world is going to think about me."

And we end up, like, shrinking our life into this really safe, tiny spot, but it also doesn't feel good.

It just feels like we're always trying to be guarding ourselves against pain and hurt.

So somewhere along the way, you started wanting less on purpose.

And so it will sound like this:

"I'd love to lose weight, but I've been fat my whole life, so I'm just going to be happy if I stop gaining. I'm going to be realistic. What I really need to do right now is just stop the gaining."

That is shrinking your goal.

"Well, I always wanted to go back to school, but, you know, it's too late for me. Girl, I'm in my 50s or my 60s. So I'm just going to figure out, how can I just be happier in my current job?"

Sounds lovely, right?

Sounds realistic.

Except you really wanted to go back to school and chase something that you never chased before.

"I want to love my body, Corinne. But I have felt this way my entire life, since forever. So I'm just going to settle for not just hating what I see."

Notice how different that is from the first thing.

Here's another good example:

"I'd love a real relationship in life, but at my age, nobody's looking. So I'll just be glad if I can have some company."

Notice how this is, like, not realistic.

This is, "I'm so afraid I can't have it. I'm gonna settle for less than what I want so I don't have to feel bad in case I can't get it."

That is a bullshit way to live.

So here's what we're doing in every one of these.

We say what we really want in the first half, and then in the second half, we talk ourselves out of it.

And we call it being reasonable, when what we're doing is we're actually just afraid of something.

And talking yourself out of it isn't coming from the smart place.

It only is coming from one thing: what you believe about yourself.

So when you say, "It's too late for me," or, "At my age," that's not you being realistic.

That's you letting a very shitty thought about yourself decide how much you're allowed to want and to have in life.

And so rather than working on the shitty thoughts, you make your goal less.

So you keep shitty thoughts about yourself while also reducing what you could have.

There's nobody saying you can't have it but you.

And I'm just gonna say, the other thing you can work on is the landing.

You, first of all, don't know if you won't achieve it because you ain't trying.

So you don't need to sit there and lie to yourself saying, "I know what will happen."

No, you the fuck don't.

If you absolutely know what's gonna happen in the future, get out of your job, take every money out of retirement, Las Vegas right now, and hit a blackjack table and play it relentlessly because you're such a good fortune teller.

And you don't even know it's happening because everything feels like common sense.

So you just spend your life settling for less.

You get a less-than result in life, and that result becomes one more reason to just keep being realistic.

You just keep proving to yourself over and over again, "You should be realistic."

But it ain't because you're trying so hard and not getting things.

It is because you're reducing things, and you're now proving to yourself, "That's all I get out of life."

And that's self-imposed.

So there's one word you need to be listening for when you're thinking about your goals, and it's "but."

That's the word that tells you that you're about to settle for realistic instead of, "I'm going to start with something realistic on my way to this amazing thing I want, and I'm going to see what happens."

I mean, y'all have to quit being a "but" to yourself. That's the bottom line.

So be listening for "but."

It is so rare—like, I'm sure there are good examples of when "but" is a powerful word—but so often, if you think about everything I teach, whenever we say, "Blah, blah, but," everything after that is usually ass.

So if you want to improve your life immediately right now, listen for how often you're saying "but" and then get coached on it by us.

Listen for how often you're saying "but" and then write about it.

"Why am I choosing to believe everything that comes after 'but'? Why am I not challenging myself to believe something different?"

What is the harm?

I think this is a powerful question.

What is the harm in believing things will work out, that I will succeed?

Because the worst thing—y'all think the worst thing that can happen in the belief is it doesn't work out and I'm an ass to myself.

That is the second worst thing that could happen.

The worst thing that can happen is that it was always going to work out for you and you didn't try at all.

That it was the time you were going to figure it out.

That day that I sat on the couch, I decided to lose weight for the umpteenth millionth time with fucking proof that I would be able to lose weight.

If I had said, "But I've never been able to do it before," and I just left it there, I would have missed my one time it was going to work.

I would have missed the one time that my shit would have gotten together.

I would have missed the one time that my entire life was going to change, all because I would sit there on the couch and talk myself out of something because I thought I knew better.

You don't know better about your future.

Your future is to be created.

Your future is not something you can just see.

You go out and you create it.

And then for the second worst one, the one where I get hurt when I don't succeed, you don't have to be hurt when you don't succeed.

That is a choice.

You can also be really proud that you tried.

You can be disappointed.

You don't have to rip yourself a new asshole.

You don't have to put yourself through the same torture you have the last 100 times things didn't work out for you.

This next time could either be the winner, or it could be the time that you have your own back if it doesn't work out.

It's choices.

Y'all have got to see that your life is full of choices, and you're not giving them to yourself.

The choices are everywhere for a better life, and you're not taking them.

You're just sitting there, and you're letting whatever you think be the gospel truth.

Question everything you think because it's one interpretation of a million interpretations you can give yourself.

So here's some examples:

"I want this, but I've been fat my whole life."

"I want this, but it's too late for me."

Whatever comes after that "but" is what makes you settle for less than you deserve.

Now, I want you to pay attention because this is important.

That thing after the "but" I just was telling you is not a fact.

It is a thought or belief that you have about yourself.

It feels like a fact, so you never argue with it.

Like when y'all say—like my mother is a good example.

My mother was in her 50s when she went back to school.

She went to college to become a nurse.

How many of you right now are in your 50s telling yourselves, "You can't have another career. You could never go back to school. It's just too late for you"?

My mother—and I'm going to tell you—she worried she was too old a ton.

And she decided to go back to school anyway.

At her age, everybody in her class was in their early 20s.

They didn't have kids.

Hell, she had grandkids.

But my mother decided, "I am older than everybody else, but I'm going to go back to school anyway. And I'm scared to death I'll be too old. I'm scared to death this won't work out."

I remember her. She was scared to death of the fucking math.

My husband tutored her for two years on math.

I remember them sitting down in our basement, going over algebra and all the shit that Mammy had to learn in order to become a nurse.

So very often, everything that you're using to hold yourself back is literally a belief or it's a thought, but it's not true.

You know you're not too old.

If somebody else in the world at your age has done it, you need to stop saying, "I'm too old."

You need to start saying, "I'm choosing not to because I keep telling myself how old I am. But literally, I could if I was willing to get over that."

Tell yourself the truth, all of you.

You've got to argue with the things you believe.

You have to tell yourself, "That's not 100% true. This is also true."

Otherwise, you're going to let yourself talk yourself into smaller goals in life.

Smaller goals feel okay, but they don't blow wind up your skirt.

They don't make you run the streets proud and happy and telling people the shit you're accomplishing.

So here's the formula I want you to use:

"I want this dream," or, "I want this goal, but some belief about myself is laying right here, so I'll settle for less than I wanted."

That's what I want you to start telling yourself.

I'm gonna say it again.

"I want..." and you insert your dream.

Like, "I want to lose weight. I want a new job. I want to go back to school. I want a divorce. I want to get married. I want to repair a relationship. I want to love my life a hundred times more than I do today."

For a lot of you, you need that goal.

Some of y'all have amazing lives, but you know you could turn the volume up.

But for some reason, you keep yourself tamped down in it.

Maybe that's your goal.

You don't need more things in life.

You need to love the one you have more.

So, "I want my dream or goal, but here's the belief I have about myself. I'm too old. I'm too fat. I've never done it before. Everybody will think poorly of me. They'll make fun of me. People won't support me."

Like, there's a hundred reasons why we have a "but" in there.

And then I want you to tell yourself, "So I'll settle for..." and it's this.

You need to see when you're doing that.

You need to learn the formula so that you can catch it in your head and catch yourself when you're doing it.

And then you need to tell yourself, "And that is a problem that I'm willing to solve."

See, realistic always feels responsible, so you don't question it.

Why would we question something that just feels responsible, that just feels like a good idea?

But realistic is usually just very safe.

It's very comfortable.

And a safe, comfortable goal doesn't light our lives up near as much as a goal that's exciting, a goal that's going to challenge us a little bit.

I'm not asking y'all to go out and, like, have epic goals.

But I get so sad and so angry when I see women not even going for good goals in life.

I just—if I could do anything for all of you, it would be to help you stop holding yourself back so that you can decide what it is you really want.

And sometimes you decide you don't want things that you've always wanted.

And that's okay.

But I want you all to become good decision makers.

Y'all are defaulters.

Too often you're just defaulting to whatever it is you've always believed and always thought about yourself.

You're defaulting to whatever your mind's telling you, and you're not being a decider.

You're not deciding if what you're thinking is the thinking that's good enough for you anymore.

You're not deciding if you're going to go for something regardless of how scared you are or regardless if it's never worked before.

I want you to become deciders and not defaulters.

So what you actually want is a goal that has a little nervous excitement in it.

So part of you on the inside is like, "I don't know if I can do this."

And there's another part of you that's like, "Okay, I'm willing to try it, though."

So it should feel challenging, but also doable.

Your big goal shouldn't feel safe, but it shouldn't feel dangerous either.

There's a gray area.

And the gray area is where most of you need to be living most of the time.

I think a lot of you is like, "I've either got to be safe or I'm just like, my balls are out and free to the world for anybody to kick at any moment."

It's like, you know, we can wear a jock.

We can do that.

We can have a nice big goal.

And it can be one that excites us, but it's not defeating us right out the gate.

So we want goals that challenge us, not defeat us.

Okay, so here's the other reason you stay stuck being realistic.

And it's the big one.

When you finally do go after something new, you are going to make mistakes.

Stuff's not going to work out right at first.

That's just how going after any goal always works.

It's just like the air we breathe.

If you're gonna go after something new, shit is not gonna work right.

And if you already believe that you're not good enough, then every time you make one of those mistakes, you're probably beating the shit out of yourself over it.

You're not making mistakes a normal part of the process.

You're making mistakes a catastrophe.

And your brain is smart.

It goes, "Well, I'm not gonna put us in some kind of position where you're going to treat me like garbage."

So what does your brain do?

"Hey, this is not a good idea. Don't do this. Whatever you do, don't start this."

So it's two things that you've got to work on in this situation.

We got to work on what comes after your "but."

And we also have to work on how you talk to yourself when you mess up all along the way.

Now, at camp, we're going to go deep on both of these.

On both of these, this is where we're gonna hammer down because you have got to be able to have your back through mistakes.

And you all know this.

You're No BS women.

What do I teach y'all all the time?

We are always teaching you that mistakes are not to be catastrophized.

Mistakes do not mean something's fucking wrong with you.

Mistakes are not the invitation to just beat the shit out of yourself.

Mistakes are part of the process.

It's how we learn.

It's how we figure out our real needs.

It's how we figure out the next thing we're going to try.

Mistakes pave the road to success.

Like, I just want you to think about, like, if we're sitting there, let's say we're in a car and you and I are driving down the highway and they are paving the road in front of us.

That is like the mistakes are the workers.

They're figuring out the road.

They're getting out the gravel.

They're laying the asphalt.

They're smoothing things over so that when our car rolls over it, now it's smooth.

So you've got to see your mistakes in a new way.

So the real answer isn't to settle for the safe version of your dream or to never start at all.

It's to go work on, "What is it that I'm believing? What comes in my 'but'? The reason why I keep waiting on it. Let me clean all that up," which you can do with us coaches.

It ain't like it's hard.

You got coaches in your back pocket sitting on the website right now being like, they're ready to type an answer to you.

And then you've got to agree ahead of time that mistakes are going to happen.

And I am probably going to hit my goal because this time my number one goal, my number one step, is to make sure that every time I have a mistake made, that I teach myself how to learn from it.

That when I hear the bullshit come up, I stop my bullshit.

I'm like, "No, I knew that was going to happen."

All of you say this.

When we are trying to change a pattern, your old thinking is supposed to come up a lot.

So if your old thinking is, "Mistakes are terrible. Oh my God, you fuckface. Why'd you do that? You're not good enough. Why do you ever bother?"

Like, if you go ham on yourself, then your job is to get really good at hearing it and saying, "I knew you would come. I'm supposed to think all of this because it's the only thing I've ever allowed myself to think."

And now I'm deciding.

"I'm going to be one of those deciders Corinne keeps talking about, not a defaulter. I'm not going to default to that hammer that that voice is putting on me. I'm going to decide this is what this mistake actually means."

It doesn't mean I'm broken.

It means I don't know how to stop at enough yet.

It doesn't mean that I can't go back to school because the first application didn't work out right.

It means I need to send another application somewhere else.

I need to figure out what on this application might have gotten me rejected, so the next application is better.

How about that?

You get to decide.

So you've got to get really good at, "I'm gonna be the best mistake maker ever."

And I will tell all of you, do you know who makes the least amount of mistakes in life?

The people who ain't doing jack shit with their life.

My daddy doesn't make a lot of mistakes.

He's lived in a garage apartment that I was born in, that's outside his mama's house, his entire life.

Worked a factory job until he worked for his brother.

He does not have a lot of relationships.

He does not put himself out there for anything.

He does not read books.

He doesn't do shit.

He also doesn't make very many mistakes in life, but he also doesn't have much either.

The people who accomplish the most in life, when you look around and there are people you admire—like, I know some of y'all admire me—Corinne didn't get here because she doesn't make mistakes.

Every fucking day, something's not working right in my business and in my life because I'm always trying to do bigger things.

And I'm not even trying to conquer the world.

I'm just trying to conquer my little piece of the world that I want to conquer.

And things that I try don't work most of the time.

If I was cruel to myself, I would shut this business down tomorrow.

Because every day is an opportunity to be cruel or every day is an opportunity to learn something new.

And you got to decide who you're going to be.

Most of you have decided to be the cruel person.

And today you should decide to be the other one.

And you're going to have to get used to it.

And it's going to feel fake.

And it's going to feel awful at first because it's a lot easier to beat yourself up.

It's going to take mental energy.

It's going to make you tired.

It's going to make you work to be nice to yourself.

But I want y'all to hear that.

So many of you will bitch and moan about being nice to yourself.

Like, listen to what you're arguing for.

Don't argue for the brain that is right now trained to see mistakes as terrible.

Argue for the part of you that's going to have to work at being fucking nice to yourself, at being the best cheerleader of yourself, at being number one and the only support system you'll ever need is you.

Argue for her.

She deserves to be argued for.

It's just like in Dirty Dancing.

Y'all gotta quit putting Baby in the corner.

She does not belong there.

So keep going realistic every time those beliefs are showing up, and you will end up with a very safe, comfortable, but half-assed life staring back at you.

It usually doesn't feel bad.

But it always feels like something's missing.

It feels like you're settling.

It feels okay.

That is the cost.

That is the cost of waiting to feel ready.

That is the cost of being realistic.

It will never be a dramatic failure.

It's just a slow settling for less than what you really wanted out of this life.

Now, the second way waiting shows up is you're waiting on the right time.

You'll start when things settle down, when work calms down, when the kids are back in school, when the holidays are over, when this busy stretch is finally behind me.

And when you do get going, you need things to stay that way.

So the second life throws you a shit sandwich, somebody gets sick, work blows up, something goes wrong, what are you doing?

"Well, I got to stop now."

Because if I had it in my head that there's a right sequence of things that have to be going on during life, if anything stops there, that means I have to stop the goal.

Because now is no longer a good time anymore.

And you're back to picking it up when things settle down again.

Because in your head, you think you need everything to be calm.

You need all kinds of time.

You need nothing going wrong, or you just can't give it your all.

So you wait for a time where everything perfectly lines up.

And when you're in it and something goes wrong, it feels like you should stop because that's the right thing to do.

Like you're being smart.

That you're prioritizing your life.

You're making sacrifices.

And you make the promise that you'll get back to things once things settle down.

But the problem is things don't settle down that much in life.

So when you tell yourself, "I'll start when things settle down again," you're really just telling yourself you're never really going to ever start.

But the worst part is you're setting yourself up to never finish.

I have not met one single woman who's ever had a goal, big or small, that everything aligned perfectly so that nothing got in her way ever and she finished.

Every person I know that's ever achieved anything, whether that's just weight loss, it's a new job, it's getting their kids through high school, whatever it is, life never lined up.

They decided that they were going to achieve things despite it.

They were going to figure out how to do it while this is happening.

Just like when I tell y'all with weight loss, the best time to lose weight is when life's a shit show.

Because if life is busy and life's a shit show and you're trying to lose weight, you have to work on a lot of emotional eating that during the perfect times you don't work on.

This is why so many of you get caught up in the trap of, "I can do good for a little while. I wait until things are right, and then all of a sudden I can do things. But I never learn how to lose weight when it's hard."

The second it gets hard, I go back to emotional eating.

When things are easy, I don't have to work on emotional eating.

So you never fix what's actually wrong.

And then you wonder why you're a fucking yo-yo when it comes to losing weight.

"Why am I up and down the scale all throughout my life?"

Well, that's one reason.

And you've told yourself that you can only go after what you want when everything's easy.

So that first hard day, you're convinced it's just time to give up, quit, and take your foot off the gas.

And the problem is life always has the hard times, and you're not teaching yourself how to go after your dreams through ups and downs.

You teach yourself, start, quit, start, quit.

You have to be able to go after what you want in the middle of real life with all of its normal problems, because that's the only life you're ever going to have.

All of us have lives that have good times and bad.

Every one of us.

And we're acting as if that shouldn't happen.

I'm like, "Well, welcome to being a fucking human."

Show me someone who hasn't had ups and downs in life.

So waiting for things to be calm or perfect is just another way of waiting to feel ready.

You've got to be able to keep going when things are hard because everything is going to be hard at some point in life.

It's not always because something goes wrong.

It's just part of life.

That's what we've got to learn.

And once you learn it, that is what will always keep you going.

Because right now, the second things get hard, quitting feels like an obvious, responsible choice.

It doesn't usually even feel like quitting.

It feels like the right thing to do.

"I should stop. I'm being responsible."

And you can't talk yourself out of that in the moment on your own because in the moment, it feels right to stop.

So this is one of the things we'll also work on at camp.

It's exactly why you're going to have coaches there.

It's why we have coaches inside No BS if you're going to work on this on your own.

Because when you hit hard days, you need someone to help you work through hard days.

You've got to stop quitting and using that as your "but" excuse.

"I would be doing X, Y, Z, but this is happening. But this is going on in my life."

Stop making your life an excuse.

Make it a reason to figure out how to do things while those things happen.

And the biggest one, the one underneath all of it, is you're just waiting to feel ready.

You've got something that you want to do in your life, and you're waiting until you have this magical feeling of readiness.

You're probably waiting to feel motivated, and you're probably waiting to feel confident because you figure that once you feel those things, you'll finally feel ready to do something about it.

So you wait, and you wait, and you wait.

And the ready feeling you're waiting on never shows up.

So you don't start.

So here's a common reason this happens.

I want you to look back at the times you actually did start something and you stuck with it.

I bet there was something behind it.

So let's say that it's weight loss.

A lot of women, they were able to lose weight for a trip.

They were able to lose it for a wedding.

They were able to lose it for a reunion.

They were able to lose it because their doctor said, "If you don't get some weight off in three months, I'm sticking you on some meds."

And if it wasn't that, it was also usually some kind of triggering event, like the diagnosis.

Sometimes you got started because you hit your rock-bottom moment.

Maybe the scale tipped a number that you swore you'd never tip.

And then you decided to get started.

So I want you to think about it.

The last time you started on some big goal, somewhere in your head, you decided that's how starting works.

Something has to happen.

Some dramatic thing happens.

Then motivation shows up, and then you get to go.

So now you're stuck waiting on that feeling to show up again on its own.

And we've got to stop waiting for triggering events.

The moment you think you want something, I want to teach you, that is your triggering event.

Wanting it is enough.

You do not need something horrible to happen.

You do not need the stars to align.

You do not need your confidence.

Your desire for things is enough to be the triggering event to start.

Waiting to feel motivated before you start is like waiting to feel confident about driving.

So let's say that you've got a teenager, and they're supposed to be confident at their very first driving lesson simply because they sat in the back seat watching you drive their entire life.

I mean, since a baby.

I mean, they watched you drive on the way home from the hospital right after they came out the JJ.

You know what?

Watching your ass drive your entire life doesn't make the first time I'm behind the wheel of a car and told to drive feel like, "I got this. I'm super confident. I know everything. Throw me on the interstate right now."

They still got to get behind the wheel, scared as shit, bad at driving, before any confidence is going to show up.

Because you've got the order in feeling ready and motivated backwards.

Motivation and confidence, they're earned.

Everybody say it with me.

Motivation and confidence are earned.

We do not wait for them.

You can't wait on something that you have to earn.

That'd be like you saying, like, "I don't know where my paycheck is from No BS. I mean, I don't work for them, but I mean, where's my paycheck?"

Bitch, if you want a paycheck, you better come in here and earn.

Gotta earn like MJ.

Gotta earn like Kathy.

So motivation and confidence, they don't come in the beginning.

They come after you've gotten started, after you've been going at it for a while.

The thing that comes first is courage.

Write that down.

When I want something, I don't need to be waiting to feel ready.

I need to use courage to start because right now you've got a whole pile of thoughts about what you can and can't do.

If you're too old, too young, too fat, too out of shape, too late, "I don't have support. I'm all alone."

Whatever it is.

And every one of them feels real and feels fucking true to you.

And they feel true because you've thought about yourself the same way for so long that your brain has never once even tried to think about any shit any differently.

So you will need courage to start because all of those thoughts are going to make it feel scary before you feel one bit ready.

So here's how this works.

First, you've got to get to where you can hear yourself screaming all your bullshit reasons at you.

We got to turn up the volume.

You got to be like laying in wait.

It's like we're all going on a safari and we're in the bushes with our binoculars, and we're just looking for the wild-ass animals.

Well, your wild-ass animals are your wild-ass thoughts that go on in your head.

Most of y'all are not acknowledging them.

You're hearing them, you're obeying them, and you're defaulting to them, but you're not looking at them.

So we gotta hear the shit we think.

And then you start challenging those old thoughts in the moment.

We're not gonna argue them.

We're not gonna get frustrated by them.

We're not gonna think that they have to go away in order for us to do jack shit.

All we're gonna do is we're gonna get really good at talking to them.

We're gonna reason with them.

We're gonna tell them something else that also could be true.

I don't care if you don't even believe it.

All I need you to think is, "Well, somebody could believe that. I mean, it's possible it could be true. I don't feel like it's true because I believe this other thing so much, but I could see reasonably that that also could be a way that I could think about this."

That's all we gotta do.

And then immediately—this is the most important thing—you go do something with that new way of thinking.

If you were the person who thought the new thing, what would you do in that moment with that information?

And then you have to go do that before you feel ready, before you feel confident, before you feel motivated.

You have to have the courage to go do the things that if you thought differently, that person would be doing in this very moment, in this exact situation.

And then the only other thing you got to do is acknowledge it.

Doing something new the way the new you would show up is way better than what you were going to do when old shitty was running things.

And so we just have to say, "Okay, I did this thing."

The fastest way to be a goal achiever, the fastest way to feel momentum, motivation, and confidence, is to do things that right now you don't think you can do.

It's to do things right now that you're scared to do.

It is to do things right now that you don't believe will work out for you.

Your brain is good at watching you do nothing.

So it just thinks that that is the way things are.

That is why it believes everything.

Because when I think this, I follow through on it.

That is the only reason why it believes those things.

It's not because those things are true.

It's because every little thing that you think, you're following through on it.

And now we're going to interrupt that pattern.

And then when our brain watches us, over and over again, do things that we're scared of, do things that we think won't work, try things, make mistakes, keep going—when our brain keeps watching that, the next thing you know, your brain starts feeling ready to keep going, motivated to keep trying, on the hunt for the things that are gonna work.

That's how it works.

Can't wait to feel ready because when you do the new thing, your brain gets to watch you.

It needs to see you doing new things before it can believe new things are what it should be getting you to do anyway.

So it doesn't matter if, in the moment, you feel like it.

What matters is, will you do it anyway?

Why will you do it anyway?

Why is doing nothing more harmful than doing something?

And that's also really important when it comes to taking actions towards your goals.

A lot of you have it flipped.

It's like doing nothing is less harmful than doing the thing.

You've got the thing that you need to be doing so scary and full of so many harmful things that it's like, well, it's no wonder your brain repels it.

You've made it so awful in your head because you're not challenging it.

So your brain is never going to feel ready to do something that you've painted a picture of disaster.

But be like, "Hey, y'all, I hear there's a tornado down the street. Anybody want to run outside and chase it? Let's see if we can get sucked up."

We're not going to be motivated to go do that.

We're going to be motivated to get that damn basement and hide.

So we got to flip it.

You got to make doing nothing painful, doing nothing scary.

Doing nothing, the thing that your brain is like, "Oh, I don't want to do that."

And then the other thing has to pale in comparison.

Doesn't that feel amazing?

It's just got to be less scary than the alternative.

That's it.

So then some of those little things that you do, some of them are going to work, and your brain's watching it.

And that is when little things start working.

Your brain takes note and is like, "Huh, that's working. I wanna get her to do more of it."

Motivation finally shows up to the party.

Motivation is always late.

It's like the party starts at seven. It's gonna end at 10.

Motivation likes to start at 9:30 and be like, "Let's go. Come on, stay up till midnight."

Motivation never shows up on time.

It never comes early, and it never comes first.

It's the last fucker to arrive at the party, but it's a damn good time when motivation shows up, and everybody loves it when they're there.

And nobody's mad when motivation shows up.

So we do not want to wait till we feel ready, and we for damn sure want to quit waiting for awful triggering events to actually do things that we want to do in life.

We don't want to wait for those.

We don't want to wait for a wedding, a diagnosis, a horrible thing.

We want to get good at starting when we have desire.

We want to get good at challenging all of our fears and our doubts.

We want to know that we're ready simply because we want it.

That's it, and it's always good enough.

So when you start telling yourself something new and you are out there doing things, you're proving the old way of thinking wrong.

And that is the most powerful thing that you can ever do when you want to change how you naturally think.

And we're going to be talking a lot about this at camp through a lot of different situations and scenarios.

So your goal happens in the six inches between your ears.

It doesn't happen because your calendar freed up.

It doesn't happen because somebody started to support you.

It doesn't happen for any reason other than the six inches between your ears. We work on what's going on in there.

You get so caught up thinking it's all the doing.

It's what I eat.

It's the walking.

It's the little tasks.

But none of the doing sticks until you deal with what's going on in your head.

I promise you that.

But I want to warn you, you're going to want to do a lot of the work on how you think first.

This is the death trap that most of you fall into.

You're going to want all your thinking to be perfect and exciting and motivating, and then you'll start doing things.

You'll say, like, "I need to do all my thought work first. I've been working on my thought work for years."

No, you haven't.

You have not.

If you want to do something and you want to work on your thinking first, I give you 48 hours, and then you got to start.

48 hours of thinking about it and working on your thinking stuff.

That is going to get you as much as it's going to get you to get started.

Everything after that is courage.

Courage.

Courage to go challenge everything you think and believe.

Courage to fail and get back up again.

Courage to make mistakes and change how you talk to yourself.

It's going to take courage to do all of it.

Because you're never going to do enough mindset work to clean everything up so perfectly that now not only are we ready to start, but we've got every confidence. We know that it's all going to work.

It's not going to happen.

That's why you sit on the sidelines of life.

You've got to change how you think while you're still thinking old shit.

And then you change how you act when you don't want to do things.

And we act based on new thinking.

We don't act based on the old.

That's how you get your brain to start talking to you differently.

It's gotta have shitty thoughts.

You gotta insert new ones.

You gotta do things when you don't feel ready to do them.

Your brain watches this the entire time, and the next thing you know, shit's changing for the better.

That's how it works.

This is how it went for me when I lost my weight.

I didn't come out swinging.

I knew that every time I started too strong in the past, I couldn't keep up.

So I was realistic in the good way.

I said, "Okay, I know how I've done this before. So this time, let me just give myself a really solid chance."

Now, all I did was wake up every day and think about one little thing I could do a little bit better that day.

And when I saw myself doing a little better, I started going, "Huh, maybe I can do this. Maybe I was wrong about myself."

That is when my momentum started.

And once it was building, I started feeling more motivated.

Confidence started coming because I was proving my old ideas about me wrong.

Like the girl in me that thought I had to do everything at once or it didn't count, I had to go prove her wrong by showing her I needed to do something every day, not everything.

So how do you get over your thinking?

It keeps coming back, and it feels so real.

There are just two ways.

One, you can fix this right inside the membership.

You already have access to everything you need inside No BS.

You can take your thinking straight to Ask Coaches.

We have got courses all over No BS where we walk you through changing how you think.

There's the relationships course.

There is the self-love course.

Go look.

There's a journaling course that y'all sleep on all the time.

There are plenty of courses out there that, if you're like, "My thinking is such a fucking problem, and that is my biggest goal right now, is to understand my thinking in such a way that I can start creating the life I want..."