January 21, 2024

Episode 354: Part 1: Why You Can’t Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions

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Episode 354_ Part 1_ Why You Can't Stick to Your New Year's Resolutions

It’s 2024. Did you make a resolution this year? If so, how’s it going? If I were in Vegas, I’d put my money on “not well.”

And that’s NORMAL. The second Friday of January ain’t called “Quitter’s Day” for nothing. 

So why is it SO HARD to stick to your goals? 

Today on the podcast, I’m sharing the first of two main reasons it’s hard. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love goals. I just don’t love bullshit like…

“Starting on [INSERT DATE] January 1/ Monday/ 1st of the Month… I’m going to [INSERT GOAL] do Whole 30/ start 75 Hard/ lose 10 pounds in 10 days.” 

My friend Kara Loewentheil of the “UnF*ck Your Brain” podcast has a name for these kinds of goals: perfectionistic fantasies and tomorrow thinking. I talk more about it in today’s podcast.

If you’re struggling to lose weight, I’ll bet your goal is missing one ESSENTIAL ingredient:

YOUR REAL LIFE.

You don’t need a perfect goal to lose weight. You need a plan for when the shit hits the fan. Because this is real life — you know it’s gonna happen. 

Listen in on today’s episode, Part 1: Why You Can’t Stick to Your New Year’s Resolutions, for how to create a more realistic plan and avoid the #1 thing no one plans for.

And join me next week for Part 2. I’ll give you three good questions to ask yourself when your motivation runs out. 

Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds each week. I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Hello everybody. Welcome back. So this is going to be a two part series. We’re going to break this particular podcast into two for you because I really want to tackle how do we handle our New year’s resolutions when they might be failing. So whether you set a resolution or not, if you’re listening to this podcast, if I have to guess at the beginning of the year, what did you do? You probably set a weight loss goal, which I don’t think is a bad thing. I really do think that that’s great when we want to change our health, when we want to lose weight, when we want to have that new relationship with food, the ability to wear whatever we want. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with at the new year riding the wave of that. Basically New Year’s momentum. There’s this effect that goes on in the brain, which is one of the things we want to take advantage of, which is when we have a first of the month, the first of the week, or at the new year, our minds automatically do some type of a reset.
(01:41):
It feels like a cleansing new beginning, so I don’t think there’s anything wrong with setting it. What I do think happens though is there are two key pieces missing when we’re setting goals that lead us to not being able to achieve them. So here are the two things that typically hose us when it comes to our New Year’s resolutions, and then in this episode we’re going to cover number one, and in the next episode I’m going to give you tips and strategies for number two. So the first one is really simple, which is you do not have a plan for when shit hits the fan. What does that mean? Every single one of us do this thing where we decide we’re going to lose weight, and my good friend Carla Lowenthal, she’s got a book coming out later this year. You can listen to her on the Unfuck Your Brain podcast, and I believe it’s episode 90 where she talks about perfectionistic fantasies and tomorrow thinking.
(02:42):
And one of the things that happens is that when we are in that big, it’s the first of the month, it’s the first of the year, it’s Monday, whatever it is. Very often what we do is we set goals that are more like wishes and they require perfection and they require fantastical things happening in order for us to be successful. And so if you want more about that, you can always go and listen to her podcast. But one of the things that we do that screws up our New Year’s resolutions that screws up our New Year’s weight loss goals is we don’t make a plan for when shit hits the fan. We make a plan that if everything in the world fucking goes right, if no jackass gets in our way, the ball’s ain’t a dick. If the kids support me, if my partner suddenly it’s cooking my dinner for me, whatever your fucking fantasy is in order for you to execute whatever diet you started, all that’s got to happen.
(03:46):
You never think about all the other things. So that’s the first mistake. The second mistake is relying on excitement and motivation. I see this happen over and over and over again where my nos women, they will do so good in the beginning. In fact, today I was on a call with all of my members every Wednesday I’m recording this on a Wednesday and every Wednesday I go live inside my membership once inside the newbie group and then once inside all the other members. So if you join no bs, you start in a 30 day transformation group where for 30 days we’re just focused on your basics. You are only with newbies. You are only working on our course. We keep it very, very tight. We keep it very focused. We don’t want you doing a lot of work because we want you losing a lot of weight.
(04:37):
And so I go live in there and I go live for all the other members. So anyway, today I’m talking to ’em and I was like, I know what y’all’s problem is when they first start for a few weeks, they are like, buddy the elf, they are clapping. Everything’s amazing. They are just so excited. And then the moment they’re not buddy the elf, the moment that they normalize to their weight loss, guess what they do? Something’s wrong. I guess I can’t lose weight because I’m not motivated and happy and excited anymore. That is the second biggest mistake that we make. So we’re going to cover that one next week because I have three really good questions that you can ask yourself that will help you move through that phase. But today I want to focus and talk about not having a plan for when shit hits the fan.
(05:29):
So you are setting your weight loss goal. You really want to lose weight, and you make and craft a beautiful plan. It is like here’s the foods I’m going to eat. You’ve gone through the house and you have ridden yourself of the temptations. You have done the things you have signed up at the gym and in your mind, your cardio bunny ass is now going to be eating lettuce the way to the gym and hopping along that treadmill trail. But one day comes and your boss wants you to work late and you’re like, oh, fuck me. I was supposed to make my Martha Stewart beautiful vegetable casserole tonight that is super healthy and don plan, and then you end up in McDonald’s because you didn’t have a backup for what you would do when the boss wants you to work late, even though your ass knows that in the history of trying to lose weight that your boss has always asked you to work late.
(06:37):
You have always had kids that last minute wanted to go to McDonald’s instead of eat your fucking healthy food that you have had bad days, you have been tired at night. There are all these things that get in the way of losing weight, but when it is time to drop the pounds, what do you do? You only create a plan that requires perfection. It requires everything going your way, nothing standing in your way, and that’s the biggest mistake. You do not have a weight loss plan if it does not include how you’re going to show up when crap doesn’t go your way. So here’s some ideas of things that should be on your when the shit hits the fan plan. Number one, who the fuck you going to be when you overeat? This is probably the one that I see no one plan for. You are not sitting there and figuring out when I overeat because it’s not a matter of if and if you are sitting there and this is tomorrow thinking I’m going to wake up tomorrow and I’m going to start my New Year’s diet and every day I’m going to be doing so well that Oprah will fly in like a fairy and crown me best dieter in the world.
(08:03):
That is never happening. But in our minds, we have this idea that there’s going to, we’re going to just wake up, start losing weight, and there’s a time that’s coming where we’re not going to fuck up. We’re never going to overeat, we’re never going to be tempted. We’re never going to grab ass something. We’re never going to break our plan. That day’s never coming. So if we know that day’s not coming, then what we have to do is plan for when that day arrives and what we’re going to do because here’s your backup plan. This is the unconscious plan that happens. You’re sitting there, you’re eating, you overeat, you eat too much. Say you planned. I was like, I’m going to be good. I’m have me a small salad. My family’s ordering the pizza. We going to get the thin crust and I’m going to have my two slices.
(08:54):
All will be well is I drink my ice water well, the pizza comes, smells delicious. You eat your two slices, you have your salad, you’re sipping your water, and guess what your kids do? They’re assholes. They don’t eat all the pizza. You know what they do? They leave one or two slices behind that look incredibly lonely and would be such a waste to throw away. And guess what? Your ass is doing well with inflation. We wouldn’t want to waste this and for some reason you can’t put it in the fridge and your mind, your brain is like, we should eat this. And so you eat a bite thinking you’ll just have a bite and the next thing you know you’ve hoovered two extra slices. Now, this is where you need a plan because this is part of weight loss and I teach this really hard inside my membership.
(09:55):
I tell ’em all the time, there’s a plan to lose weight and then you got your real skills that you got to learn and you got to do if you ever want to lose your weight. So this is when you real shit has to come in because you’re going to have those days your brain, no matter how bad you want to lose weight, how miserable you are when it sees two leftover pieces of pizza. It’s just going to want it and it’s going to make every bit of sense that you should eat it and if you eat them, we have to have a plan for what comes next. Because what most of you do is you go into fuck it mode. You feel sorry for yourself. You get mad. You say, I can’t lose weight. I always screw up. See, nothing’s ever going to work.
(10:48):
I might as well go eat some Oreos. Let me get this out of my system because we either do this tomorrow I’m going to be so much better because tomorrow’s the day that I, once I eat a lot of Oreos and I’ve overate pizza, I’ll probably never want to do that again. No, that is not happening. But that tends to be what a lot of people do is we don’t have a plan for who we’re going to be in the moment that we’ve overate and we feel like we should just eat more. You got to have a plan for that moment because if you want to lose weight, here’s what I know, you can’t overeat over overeat and expect to ever fucking lose weight. You can overeat at times, learn from it, figure some shit out, not overeat over it and probably lose weight.
(11:47):
Most overeats when they’re contained and it’s just this one and it’s only happening every few days or so, don’t really slow down weight loss. We slow down weight loss when we take an overeat and turn it into a golden corral. Let me pull my chair up to the buffet moment and get down. That’s when we have problems. So when you have an overeat, you better damn well have a plan. You got to know who are you going to be in those moments when you blow it, who are you going to be and what are you going to do in the moments that you overeat? You have to learn how to talk to yourself through those moments. I teach you all about that in the No BS weight loss program. That’s why inside the membership, I spend tons and tons of time teaching my members this stuff.
(12:41):
I don’t have to teach you much about losing weight. There’s four fucking basics, but I do have to teach you all the different ways you have to handle yourself when things don’t go your way, because that’s what stops us from losing weight. It is not a lack of calorie knowledge. It is not a lack of how many good foods and bad foods are you eating? That is not it. I have never met a woman that is overweight because she lacked enough diet knowledge. Most women that I work with, it is the biggest problem in the room is when things don’t go right in their life. They don’t know what to do or what to say to themselves, but they do know to eat and we work on that shit. So when the shit hits the fan and you are working on your weight, you got to know what you’re going to do and what you’re going to say to yourself when you’ve overate, when you feel like you’ve blown it, you need a plan for the days when you have to work late for all of you, you need to be thinking about every time I’ve tried to lose weight, what are the things that’s gotten in my way?
(13:47):
What are the things that I’ve blamed? If you’ve got elderly parents, guess what? You have got to have a plan for the days that they need your help. They got to go to the doctor. They need their meds. They have fell, they got to go to the emergency room. Whatever’s going on there, your parents are not an excuse for not being able to ask yourself, am I hungry or have I had enough? All of you, your children, your aging parents, your partners, your jobs, your fucking life at some point cannot be the excuse you use to not lose weight. You need a plan for your life. You need a plan for reality. I remember back when I was losing weight, my grandmother who raised me was dying of pancreatic cancer. Logan was about two years old, so I had a toddler at home and my mother worked graveyard and someone had to be with my granny every night and take care of her.
(14:59):
She had meds that she had to take overnight. She often was pooping on herself. There was just all these things that were happening. She had a terrible cancer and disease and the one thing that I remember telling myself through all of it is, I am going to keep losing my weight and I will not gain it back. And I was kind of at the tail end of my journey and it would’ve been so easy to eat through it. I remember so many times people bringing food, me wanting to eat because we were up for hours again at night taking care of her, and then once I’d get up, I would want to eat because I couldn’t go back to sleep when she would go back to sleep. And I just made a deal with myself that I was not going to gain weight over this, that I was going to figure out what I could do to take care of myself while taking care of a woman that I love with all of my heart, every bit of it.
(16:02):
And so I remember I making sure that Chris, when he would drive me to my grandmother’s house at nine o’clock at night, I would bring frozen foods. I would bring fruit. I would keep it in her fridge so that when I needed to eat, I’d have something. I was sleeping on the couch and in the floor the entire time. I made sure to have a really good pillow. I made sure to have things in the house that if I did need to eat at my worst, that I wasn’t going to do extreme damage. I remember telling myself over and over again, if you really need to eat in this moment, you did bring some fruit. Let’s just have the fruit. That was my plan. And in the mornings when my mom would come, it was two and a half miles to my house. I either ran or walked it.
(16:56):
Most time I walked it, I was so tired, but I was also trying to learn how to run back then, and I would walk home every day because I knew that that was the time that I could do it. It was the only time of the day and that if I walked home, I knew I would have to get home because my 2-year-old was waiting on me, and then Chris would go off to work and it was a rough time, but my plan wasn’t just, here’s what I’m going to eat. My plan is how are you going to get in your exercise when you are fucking exhausted and emotional? What are you going to tell yourself? How are you going to set it up so that you can still get it done? What are you going to do for yourself with food? When you’re looking at a woman that you love more than anything in the world and she’s dying?
(17:53):
What are you going to do then? So we all have to think about these things that are going on in our life that always get in the way and decide they no longer get in the way. I’m going to have a plan. I’m going to have a strategy for when it happens. No more being mad that this happened when I know damn well this is shit that will always come up. Why be angry about it? Why be frustrated about it? Why not just anticipate? Have a plan for it. How I’m going to show up in these moments? Because to me, the reason I wanted to start this two-part series off with this is because I really think this is one of those things that we don’t think about enough. We don’t have a plan for what are we going to eat on the nights when the kids really want to go through the drive-through, and we didn’t plan for it.
(18:54):
Am I going home or am I going to have a menu in my purse that says, here’s what you order at these restaurants. Here are the things you order every single time. That’s one of my tips that I use. We often order Uber Eats. We often go to our bar. We own a sports bar here in Nolansville, Tennessee. We often go there and eat. I know exactly what I’m ordering. Anytime I go to these places, I made all of those decisions well ahead of time so that the version of me that is showing up feels taken care of. She doesn’t have to decide. She’s already planned for the days when plans are going to change, when there’s nothing to eat in the house, all of you, you know your obstacles. You know what shit gets in your way. Make a list of it. Stop being surprised because most of you are never surprised.
(19:56):
You know what you are. You’re upset that it happened again. It’s not that shocking because here’s the thing, if you only overate in moments, you absolutely couldn’t anticipate that were complete shockers in life, you would not have a weight problem. That would just be called being a normal human. But most of us, what we’re doing is we’re grinding our teeth and angry because I guess God doesn’t clear the path for us when we’re ready to lose our weight. He’s like, you know what? I’m going to take care of this for you. No obstacles, nothing. Hard clearing the decks, smooth sailing for you. It’s not happening and you don’t even want it to happen. In order to lose weight, you know what you need. You need to be able to handle life without food, which means you got to have a plan for your life. You can’t just have a plan of this is what I eat and how much, and don’t deal with anything else. So make your list and you got to ask yourself, what am I going to tell myself? What am I going to do in those moments? Because the answer can’t be make myself. You need to ask yourself, how will I make myself? What am I going to tell myself? Because if making yourself do shit worked, we’d all be a lot better off these days.
(21:21):
You’ve got to really have a plan. So for My Nobis Women, if you’re a member, and this really resonates with you when you are done with the nobis Weight Loss course, which is just three simple modules that take you through the basics and how to quit overeating, I want you to go to the Breaking Diet Thinking course because this is going to help you go over all of these types of moments, how you handle yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically when shit hits the fan. You’re going to see all the lessons on self-sabotage, like all the lessons on self-love dealing with relationships because that’s the shit we’re eating over. So I highly encourage you when you finish the course, that if this podcast resonates with you, you go straight to that course and you take it and you learn how to show up for yourself in your life in a whole new way, in a way that actually gives you a better life, and it doesn’t rely on food. All right, y’all have a good week, and I’ll be back next week with part two where we will talk about relying on excitement and motivation. Are you ready to lose weight, the no BSS way? If so, good news, we are open, which means you can join us at any time for just $59 a month. If you’re ready to work with me to lose weight, the No BSS way, come on over to join no bss.com. Check out everything that we offer. We would love to help you lose your weight for the last damn time.

Ready to lose weight for the last damn time?

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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