Speaker A [00:00:01]:
Hello everybody. Welcome back. So today I want to share with you something that was posted inside my membership, my no BS weight loss membership. If you don’t know, one of the things you get when you join our program is a community filled with smart fucking women. I’m just saying, like the insights, the things that they say it one of the things I do know about weight loss is that it can be such a lonely journey. So many of us are with family and friends all the time that are super supportive, who do love us and stuff, but they don’t always get what we go through when it comes to being overweight. And some of us are surrounded by people who don’t give a fuck about it, who maybe even don’t say the nicest of things. So one of the reasons that I wanted to add community inside of my membership is because I didn’t want women to feel alone, like they never were seen or heard, that I just wanted them to be around people who really got the struggle, the judgment we have for ourselves, the worry we have about what other people think sometimes.
Speaker A [00:01:19]:
That constant obsessive thinking about food and stuff. So many women that I work with on a day to day basis will say, until I joined no BS. I didn’t realize people ate like me. I didn’t realize that people ate in secret other than me. I just thought I was the only one. It was so shameful. Or they’ll say, I thought I was the only one that didn’t have support in their real life. Or I thought I was the only one that had lots of love around me and just couldn’t do it.
Speaker A [00:01:52]:
So community is so important and what ends up happening is inside of our community, people are constantly sharing insights, AHA, like changes they’re making, just all kinds of stuff and lending help to all the members. So I absolutely love it. So today what I want to do is actually want to read a post from one of my own members. It was said so beautifully that I want to read it to you and then I’ll talk a little bit about it. So it’s all about motivation. And what I love about it is she puts a completely new spin on motivation. And if you know me, I have been preaching forever. You do not have to wait until you’re fucking motivated in order to do something.
Speaker A [00:02:39]:
Most of us are never going to be motivated to lose weight. We might one day get our ass full. We might one day have a reckoning that this is the day we may want to change. Maybe every now and then we get excited. But most of us, if we’re sitting around waiting for motivation, we’re also saying we’re waiting around to be happy. We’re waiting around for a perfect like so many of us live our lives when it comes to losing weight waiting for the as. Coach MJ inside of our program calls it Bigfoot. To me, bigfoot is motivation.
Speaker A [00:03:18]:
It’s like, well, we’ve all heard there are these people that have motivation, but I rarely ever see them. I don’t see them out in the wild. Every now and then, somebody reports catching a glimpse of motivational bigfoot. So let me read what Sean, who’s been a member for a while, wrote today. For all of us, motivation isn’t what we think it is. I’ve always known this. Heck, Corinne talks about it a lot, too. I love how she’s like, Corinne even talks about this.
Speaker A [00:03:47]:
But I’ve just experienced this on a level that has been so eye opening that I had to share and I think it’s going to change my core values forever. You see, all of us are using the word motivation in the wrong way. What we think it means is to be happy or excited in a positive way to do something. Now raise your hand, girls, if you’re guilty of that. Like, how many of us this is Corinne speaking, not Sean, but how many of us are sitting around thinking your working definition of motivation is like fairy dust rainbows. Like you’re just gliding along your day like, here I am, happy and prepped for the gym. Oh, here, you know, like eating my salad, here I am while my kids are like, yelling, I’m stress free mama who doesn’t need to snack. That is not how motivation works.
Speaker A [00:04:38]:
All right? So she said let me just repeat. You see, we’re using the word motivation wrong. What we think it means is to be happy or excited in a positive way to do something. When we say we’re not motivated, what we are actually saying is, I’m not excited about doing this. The thought of doing this is not bringing my heart flutter and joy. But that’s not the real definition of motivation. Motivation is defined as the state or condition of being motivated or having a reason to act or accomplish something. It’s not about the happiness, y’all? It’s about the reason.
Speaker A [00:05:26]:
Motivation isn’t being happy to do something, it’s simply having a reason to do it anyway. And this is me adding it on. It’s having a reason to do it in the face of not wanting to. Real motivation isn’t about being happy. It’s not about perfection. Real motivation is, I’m going to do this thing simply because I said I would. And although I’m scared, although I’m nervous, and although I am doubting myself, I am dreading doing it. I just do it for all of you.
Speaker A [00:06:05]:
I want you to become the kind of woman who quits waiting. Like spending her life waiting for the perfect moment, waiting for everything to come into alignment. If you want your weight loss, if you want anything in life, how about we just go get it? We are not going to be ladies and waiting anymore, y’all. So she says motivation isn’t being happy to do something. It’s simply having a reason to do it. In fact, we can be motivated to do something while feeling dread almost every day. Y’all, I wake up, I dread the fuck out of working out, but I do it. You know why? Because I’m motivated to do it.
Speaker A [00:06:49]:
Because I don’t want to be the person. You know what I usually tell myself? I don’t want to be sitting around all day dreading doing it. I also don’t want to be sitting around all day wishing I had done it. I’m just going to get in there and it’s going to suck until it doesn’t suck. And I have learned over time, the hardest part of going into the gym, the hardest part of eating another salad, the hardest part of leaving some food behind when I want to eat more, isn’t that I’m not happy to do it. The hardest part is just stopping and allowing myself ten to 15 minutes to not give a shit anymore. So no more being ladies and waiting. So she said, Let me give you my current example.
Speaker A [00:07:34]:
I’m unemployed. I got laid off mid June, and looking for a job is a lot of work, especially when you’re getting a lot of no’s. I woke up this morning, I sat down in my favorite chair and I thought, fuck, I don’t want to do this today. I was dreading looking for a job, but was I still motivated to do it? Hell yeah, I was. I still have a really big reason to open up my computer and find a few more places to send my resume to, a few more people to network with. Not because I think I’m getting a job, but because I know I won’t get one if I don’t do it. So think about this next time you want to moan and groan about not being motivated to work out or make your plan, drink your water or stop it enough, take out the word motivated and add, I’m not happy to do this right now. I’m not excited about doing this right now.
Speaker A [00:08:34]:
And she says, doesn’t that change things slightly to me, when I hear myself say I’m not motivated to work out, it sounds so reasonable. But when I say what I really mean, I’m not excited to work out today, I realize what a fucking puny excuse this is. It just changes everything. Words matter. All of you. How you talk to yourself. If you think words matter when you’re talking to your children, when you’re talking to your friends, the words matter in the world. You know what words matter the most? The fucking ones you tell yourself those matter more than anything.
Speaker A [00:09:16]:
Those are the most important words because they drive everything. That’s why I teach you so much inside the Nobs weight loss program. It’s what’s going on between your ears, dictates what the fuck’s going in that mouth. So she goes on to say. Instead, ask, do I have a reason for doing this thing? Is that reason good enough to motivate you to do it? Happy or not, excited or not? Results or not? Even if it’s just for today, I think it’s important for all of you to have your reasons. I talk about have a lot of reasons why you’re going to do stuff and have more. When it comes to weight loss, you got to have more reasons than like, well, I just want to feel good. I want to weigh X amount of pounds.
Speaker A [00:10:01]:
I want to wear size eight. I think all that’s great, and it works sometimes. But in the moments that you are dreading, what is going to be your reason? Like, for me, in the moments when I’m dreading something and not wanting to do something, like, I always think about my workouts. I literally drag my sorry, tired ass in there every single morning. There’s not one bit of me that’s just like, hell, yeah, it’s time to work out. It’s always like, fuck, I got so many other things I want to work on. I’m getting older. I’m tired today.
Speaker A [00:10:34]:
Like, everything comes to the head. But what I usually tell myself is, you are going to be more sorry if you don’t do it than if you do. When do you want to be sorry? You want to feel sorry for yourself now, or you want to feel sorry for yourself later? And most of the time, I just drag my butt in there and I get started, and I just tell myself, stop bitching. Put on some music. If it’s food, like, I will tell you tonight, I was supposed to have date night with my husband. I’ve been looking forward to it all day. At 330. He’s like, what do you think about not going? And I was kind of upset about it because my brain was like, all right, well, if we’re not going, I’m going to need to record more podcasts.
Speaker A [00:11:19]:
Guess what? This podcast, I was not motivated to do it at all. This podcast. I dreaded doing this podcast. I had no desire to talk to you. None. You know what I wanted to do? Go get in my fucking bed. We were going to do date night. And we also own a restaurant now in Nolansville, Tennessee.
Speaker A [00:11:42]:
If you’re ever in Nolansville, Tennessee, come to Brother, soon to also be named Bollinsville. We haven’t name changed yet, but just in case you’re ever in Nolansville, stop in, have a beer, have a glass of wine, have a burger, and maybe you’ll see me out. I’m like the bigfoot. Maybe you’ll see me out in the wild. Like, I hear that Bigfoot sometimes actually leaves her house and does things, but it must be in a two mile radius of her home. So we were going to go, and now I was like, now my schedule’s opened up. My team needs podcasts. I didn’t want to do it.
Speaker A [00:12:15]:
But you know what? I told myself you will be hating your ass tomorrow if you have to put on makeup and fix your hair and do podcasts. I was not happy or excited. This has nothing to do with me loving y’all. I love every one of you. I love my business. I actually like being a podcaster. But in the moments when it’s time to fucking podcast, I don’t want to be a podcaster. Do you know when I want to be a podcaster? When somebody’s talking about my 55 million downloads.
Speaker A [00:12:45]:
That’s when I want to be a podcaster. And that’s what most of us want. We want to be the person we think we’re going to be when we get the results. But you have to be the person required to go out and get the results. Which means you have to be the kind of person who does shit when she doesn’t want to. She does shit in the face of not being happy and not being excited and then not feeling like you want to. You want to lose weight. You got to learn that skill.
Speaker A [00:13:14]:
That’s why in no BS, I teach what’s called the real skills of weight loss. We teach you. How do you override dread, how do you not beat the shit out of yourself after an overeat? How do you decompress at night without a sleeve of Oreos? How do you actually lay on the couch guilt free as a mother when the dishes are dirty, the laundry needs to be done and you didn’t see your kids all the day but you’re so fucking tired you need a day on the couch. A night on the couch. And how do you do that without thinking you should be taking care of the kids. Your husband or your partner shouldn’t have to do that. This is the shit we got to start addressing in weight loss. If you are not addressing that stuff, you are going to be a yo yo dieter for the rest of your life.
Speaker A [00:14:05]:
I can almost guarantee it. So Sean, she ends up with yeah, maybe the latter work is to figure out how to be happy or excited. Like maybe one day we do need to figure out how to be more excited, how to want to do the things we want to do. And that’s an amazing place to be, but that’s a nice to have. It’s not a must have in order to lose your weight. So I just want to thank Sean for that post. It is so awesome to be surrounded for me, it is awesome to be surrounded by women who share insights, who talk about the real things going on with them, who are giving a leg up to their fellow nobia sisters. And if you want to be a part of that, if you are done with traditional diet culture that doesn’t surround you with people who are talking about the real stuff who are giving you insight into motivation.
Speaker A [00:15:13]:
If you want a program that we lose weight in four simple steps, and the rest of the time you know what we’re doing? We’re making weight loss easier on ourselves because we’re cleaning up all the shit we think of about. If you want that, you should join us. You should stop listening to the podcast and get in where people like Sean are helping you every single day. Y’all have a good week. I’ll talk to you soon.
