Episode 315: Why You’re Not Doing What You Say You’ll Do

Corinne Crabtree:

Hello everyone. I am Corinne Crabtree. I am the host of the Losing 100 Pounds podcast. I am also the founder and CEO of the No BS Weight Loss Program. Every single month I go live. I think we’re on the third Tuesday of the month. I’m going to tell you, this month has been crazy. We’ve been moving, we’ve been doing all the things. I just got back from a trip to Vegas and anyway, I go live and I teach something about weight loss every single month to everybody who listens to my podcast and who has signed up to take my free weight loss course. The course is called, you can go and sign up for it at nobsfreecourse.com, and I’m going to teach you some simple ways to lose weight. If you sign up there, you will get notifications of when I go live and offer free trainings. I do Monday motivational emails. I try to do my best to help you lose weight.

“Will you turn on the captions for this email?” You can turn them on. It should already be there. If you want to turn them on for you, you just have to use the CC button on your device. All right, let me pull up my marketing team who is going to come up here. They’re going to just help me with some questions and stuff. So if you see somebody else on the screen, do not worry about it, you just need to focus on me. They like to feed me all the questions that you ask. All right, so today what I want to do is I want to talk about excuses. Excuses are things that we tell ourselves when, at the moment we’re supposed to do something that at some point, a version of us who is wanting to do it said, “That’s a good idea.”

I want you to think about weight loss. A lot of times what we do is we wake up in the morning or we’re going to bed at night and we really want to lose weight and we’re like, “We’re going to do this, we’re going to do that. This makes sense,” and if you think about that moment, you’re all in. So everybody who’s listening, I want you to think about how often you have times in your life right now that you are just like, “Of course I want to lose weight.” Or you have times in your life where you’re like, “I really want to do this,” or, “I’m very committed to do it,” or, “I’m willing to try.” We all have those. Then we come up on the moment that we’re going to eat a little better, eat a little less, go for that walk, drink that water, get that sleep in. Whatever it is that we want to do for weight loss.

So we come up on that moment and in that moment our brain typically offers up excuses and this trips people up because this is what ends up happening. You’ll say something like, “I’m too busy.” “I’ve never been able to lose weight before.” “Leaving a couple bites behind.” “This is not going to matter.” Our brain will tell you all the reasons why whatever is not a good idea. A common thing in the evening is, “Well, you deserve a tree. You worked so hard all day long. Don’t you remember, you barely were able to eat your lunch.” Your brain might even say things like, “You’re just so tired, now’s not a good time to be trying to lose weight. Let’s start that tomorrow.” Your brain is naturally designed to be a story making machine. All brains are designed that way. So if you are having excuses, the first thing you need to know about it is it’s not as big a deal as you fucking make it out to be.

The moment you start bitching and moaning that your brain makes excuses, you feel worse because you’re being hard on yourself, you’re judging yourself. I want you to think about how hard it is to lose weight when you keep trying to tell yourself, “Oh my God, you’re a lazy fuck for making excuses. You can’t get your together.” Whatever it is. So what we need to do, number one, is we’re not going to get rid of excuses. I am right now designing an entire course that’s going to be happening over a course of three days inside of my membership in July. It’s the No BS Excuses weekend. We are blowing it out. I’ve got thousands of members coming and the one thing that I have learned through my research when it comes to excuses, is that they never go away. And the reason is because your brain was always designed to make them.

So if we can’t get them to go away, then what we have to do is we have to learn how to override them. We have to learn how to ignore them. We have to learn how to make peace with them. Those things have to happen. So step number one is you have to make peace with your excuses like everyone does. So let me tell you why excuses come up so that you can make peace with them. So we go back to our brain. Story making machine. That’s all it wants to do. It was designed that way, originally, out of the box. When you were back in your cave woman days and you’re walking around, your brain was always on alert for how you’d get killed. It was always on alert for what was most dangerous because you lived in a dangerous world. Well, nowadays you don’t.

So your brain, in order to survive, has to create faux danger to keep your ass alive. So it’s looking around and it’s going to think at night when you’re going to skip ice cream, “Surely you’re going to be starving by nine o’clock.” It’s going to come up with stories about whatever it is that you said you wanted to do. So what we have to do is we have to understand, “Well, why is it doing this? What is at the root of every one of our excuses,” because they are going to come up. It’s our brain’s natural design. So our ass has to figure out what we’re going to do about it. All right, so number one, why do we have excuses? It could be that your excuse is masking a fear. One of the things that I talk to my No BS people about all the time, the people inside my membership, is there’s no way we can solve a problem until we understand what is at the root of the problem.

If you don’t untangle the root cause of your excuses to overeat, you can’t stop any kind of overeating. So at the base of most excuses, the first thing is, we’re afraid of something. So you have to start thinking about whatever it is that you’re telling yourself. Could this be fear? Fear of what? You may be afraid you can’t lose your weight and keep it off. So if you are at the base, every single day you’re trying to do better, but you’re going into it with like, “Yeah, but I’m so afraid I’ll never lose weight. I’ve never been able to do it. I’ve failed a thousand times.” That’s what used to happen to me. When I was in my early thirties, I was over a hundred pounds overweight. I had spent my entire life dieting, and every time I tried again, I would go into it thinking, “But you’ve never been able to do it before. You have failed every single time.”

So if I just wanted to eat a grilled chicken salad versus a fried chicken salad, I was tapping on fear. That grilled chicken salad, that opportunity to do a little bit better with my food, it represented when I would want to make that move, my brain was like, “Are you sure? You’ve never been able to lose weight. We’ve been talking about this in the background of your life.” So it would make sense in that moment. I would tell myself, “This probably won’t matter. Fried chicken’s good enough. You can start again tomorrow,” because I didn’t really want to be facing the fear. Sometimes we have a fear about what other people are thinking and feeling. You may be determined to go to your mama’s house on Sunday dinner and not eat your face off like you normally do and you feel highly motivated and committed and then you show up and your brain is like, “Well, you don’t want to hurt your mom’s feelings. Shit, she worked awful hard. She might even give you a hard time. Somebody might call you out. They’re all going to think you’re dieting again.”

And then we go back to the original fear, “And, you know you can’t lose weight anyway.” So if you are sitting around and you’re afraid of what people might think, you’re afraid you might hurt their feelings, then guess what? No matter how good you felt on Friday, making your plan to not overeat, and how convicted you were about following through, on Sunday, at the moment of impact, your brain is like, “Alert, alert. I’m afraid of this, I’m afraid of that, bla bla bla.” Now it comes out as an excuse. You don’t hear all the fears. What you hear is the excuses. That’s when we have to ask, “Why might I be making up this excuse?” And then some of us, we just have a fear that we are doing weight loss wrong or that it’s going to take forever or that we’re broken.

So I want you to ask yourself the first question, which is, “If I’m making excuses… Think about your most common excuses you make, around follow your plan or not overeating, whatever it may be, and I want you to ask yourself, “Is there something I’m afraid of? If I had to guess, I’m afraid these people might think this. I’m afraid this will happen.” Anytime you can say, “I’m afraid of,” your brain can start percolating on what you might be worried about. So that’s number one. One of the reasons why we make up excuses.

The second thing that we do is we get afraid of uncertainty. So first is just regular old fear. The next thing is excuses are alerting us to, we’re not certain about something. Again, brains hate uncertainty. They like to know things, so they’re always trying to figure out what they need to know. All right, so in your mind I want you to think about would you rather know you’re not going to lose weight or would you, would you like to be certain you’re going to lose weight? Most of us want to be certain that we’re going to lose weight. That doesn’t come naturally. Your doubts and fears are always are where it’s going to come naturally. So the antidote is we have to start telling ourselves deliberately why we will lose weight, what we are changing, what we are capable of. It’s really important to certainty because I want you to know unless you have actual tangible proof, your brain loves to go to the past and it loves to make up bullshit that ain’t true, just to give you some certainty.

Seriously. We all want to feel certain we’re going to lose weight, but our brain is not going to naturally give us those thoughts. It’s going to naturally give us the easiest ones. Negativity is a lot easier to come up with than positivity and that’s just the way human brains work. So if we want to solve this, we have to on purpose, give ourselves some certainty in any way that we can. Let me give you some of the things you might be uncertain about that you have to do in a deliberate fashion. Number one is a lot of times we make up excuses to not lose weight if we are uncertain like, “I don’t know if I’m going to like my body,’ “I don’t know if my relationship can stand me losing weight.”

I coach a lot of women on they want to really lose weight, but their partners don’t and their eating buddies, and in order to lose weight, they can’t be in an emotional eating buddy with them anymore. They can share meals with them, but they can’t share emotional eating with them anymore. And so there’s a lot of uncertainty of, “Will they still love me?” “Will we still have anything in common that happens with friend circles?” We also have an uncertain like, “Not only will I like my body, but will I have loose skin?” “Will I be able to keep it off?” These are all the types of uncertainty that unless you’re solving it on purpose, it will get your brain to make excuses why not to follow through. Because remember, everything you’re doing to lose weight, if you have unresolved fears and uncertainty, your brain’s going to make an excuse for you not to do things that make it think about fear and uncertainty. It doesn’t want to think about those things.

We have to do that on purpose in a very safe way and we do that on paper. So one of the things that we have to remember is, you can ask yourself, “Is there something I’m not sure about when it comes to my weight loss that if I work through it, my brain can relax in to lose weight? The third thing we’re afraid of, we’ve got excuses mask fear, excuses signal that there’s some kind of unresolved uncertainty we haven’t done for ourselves. And then excuses also very often signal that we don’t have passion and purpose for what we’re doing. A lot of times when I ask people, “Why do you want to lose weight?” They’ll say things that just don’t matter to them like, “Well, because I’ve never been able to do it before,” “Because I should,” “It’s time to shit or get off the pot.”

You will have like excuses come up and one of the best ways to come face-to-face with an excuse is to have really good reasons why doing something you’re not going to want to do in the moment is better than just eating and they have to be fucking good reasons. I want you to think about it. If you’re staring down a sleeve of Oreos, if you’re looking down the donut hole’s mouth, guess what? You better have reasons that in that moment you can say, “As good as that’s going to taste, as awesome as Oreos sliding down my throat is going to feel, I want this more and here’s why, and I’m willing to not eat this in this moment and it sucks because I’d love to have it so that I can have this later.

We do all of this work on paper, for all of you. So the first case is asking yourself like, “I’m afraid because,” “I’m afraid of this.” Let your fears pour out on a piece of paper. The next thing, I’d get a whole nother sheet of paper. I’d be like, “Here’s things I’m not sure about.” “I’m not sure if I’m going to get hungry later.” “I don’t know if I eat a little less, will that trigger me to binge later?” “I don’t know if I’m going to like my body.” “What if I lose all this weight and I just regain it?” “What if I lose all this weight and I lose friends?” You need to write all of it down. The last thing, you need to know why you want to do this. “Why is this better than eating Oreos?” “Why the hell do I want this so bad?” “What in my life’s going to change?” “What am I going to be able to do that I can’t do right now?” “What are the things I hope to be able to do?”

Paint the picture of why this is important to you and you got to do that on paper. I call it paper thinking. So if you listen to my podcast, I have an episode about paper thinking. When you dump your thoughts out on paper, you actually dump the reality of which you live in. Your brain and whatever it’s thinking, is your reality, whether you want to admit it or not. And this is why I tell my No BS women all the time, “You can dump them thoughts out on a piece of paper and you can look at them and at least you can see the truth and you can decide, ‘I will not let all of this thinking make me feel bad. I am not broken because of it. I’m actually pretty fucking courageous for writing it down’.”

If we’re going to tell the truth, let’s tell a good truth because it can feel really true that these thoughts make me feel broken and it’s equally as true is that it takes some stones and balls to write it down and look at it. It’s just that stones and balls feels a lot better than, “I’m broken.” So we have to look at all of it. And then if you want to lose weight, what you have to do is you have to have powerful sentences in the moment when those excuses come up and you need to go to work on disproving everything that your brain automatically thinks. Now I want to give everybody a word of caution here. It is so easy to do this and to think, “I’m the weird one. I’m the broken one. No one thinks like this.” That is another excuse that your brain is throwing up to try to get you to believe you just shouldn’t skip dessert sometimes. Seriously.

We have to always remember you are not that broken and I can promise you this. I coach thousands of women. I’ve had a million people take my free course, 50 million people listen to my podcast. I’ve been doing this longer than anybody. My experience shows you ain’t that deep. Nobody is. I coach the same-ass shit every single day. At the root of all of it, we’re afraid of something, we’re not sure about something or we lack the passion. That’s it. It’s never that deep.

Janice says, “You need a to have a big why.” Janice, that’s such a good point. What I would do is I would have 25 big whys. I also talk about this in my podcast. We need to have whys that can stand up to the situation. Back when I was losing weight, one of my why’s was like I really wanted to be a healthy role model for my child. I grew up so overweight and bullied and I thought the worst thing that could ever happen to my son, was to also be made fun of for his size and I didn’t want that for him and it scared the shit out of me that I was going to raise a kid eating like shit and I would just keep passing that obesity gene straight down the lineage and I didn’t want to do it.

There was another part of me that had my own trauma from being bullied. None of the boys ever asking me out. I never had dates to dances or anything and I just wanted to be sexy. I wanted to wear cute clothes. I’d have to go to Sears, shop in the women’s department when I was 10. I remember my eighth grade graduation, I wore my granny’s dress ’cause I couldn’t wear cute dresses like the other girls. I had to go and shop in the lady’s department as a young kid. And so when I was losing weight I was like, “I want to be sexy and I want to be able to wear the clothes I want to wear and I want to walk it.” I dreamed of walking into target and just buying a medium shirt. So sometimes at night, I would be sitting there and I would really want to just eat my face off after a long day. My son had high needs, he has autism. I was with him all day and by the time eight o’clock would roll around, we’d finally get him in bed.

I just wanted to eat because all I really wanted was to relax. I would remind myself I’d never want my child going to bed eating because he’s sad or tired. If I don’t want him going to bed that way, I don’t need to go to bed that way either. I need to just take a break, whatever I need to do. But this is important. Now my husband and I’d go out on date night and we’d be sitting there and he’d want to have drinks. So we’d want to order the appetizers and just do all the things. Well, telling myself what an example I wanted to be for Logan on date night, sucked. That why could not stand up to date night drinks, alcohol, the promise of boom, boom, all of it.

But if I would remind myself that I really wanted to wear any fucking thing I wanted on my date nights and I wanted give myself the opportunity, if I wanted dress like a hoochie, I could, then that meant that this date night I was not going to drink all the drinks, I was going to have a drink. If I wanted an appetizer, that meant I wasn’t having dessert. That meant in this moment we make choices, we don’t just throw it all away because we want to be able to do these things. So those whys have to stand up to the excuses of the moment. That’s why we need lots of them. So for all of the people who are here, I want to let you know that I have a class that’s going to be happening tomorrow. So if you’re one of my members, tomorrow’s Wednesday morning live class, that I do every single week at 9:00 AM, I’m going to give y’all that power sentence that you can use and it will stand up against all excuses.

It’s the very first sentence we all need. It won’t matter which excuse you have. You won’t need that why. You won’t need any of that when you have that sentence. So we are going to do that full class tomorrow morning, so that’s for my members. For the rest of you, if you have questions about this, go ahead and put them in the Q and A now. But also I want you to make sure you check out my podcast and I want you to look through. There’s probably about 300 episodes or so. But if you look for episodes on paper thinking, if you look for episodes about why and look for any episodes that talk about fear and stuff, you will get some additional help, and if you want to be with us tomorrow morning at 9:00 AM, you can go to join nobs.com right now.

You can go ahead and join our membership. We actually have a bonus for the next 48 hours. If you join, you’re going to get this guide that we built. It’s 50 Ways to Say No to Food. So it’s like, let’s say you go out to eat and you’d plan to just have your salad and stuff and then everybody’s ordering appetizers and they’re like, “Girl, you need to live a little. I’ve been watching you. It won’t hurt.” So sometimes we have our own excuses and then sometimes we have other people offering us excuses and they sound so good and they sound so sexy and so tempting, here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to look at your guide and we’re going to give you the exact sentences to say to them and to say to you.

So if you join within the next 48 hours, you will get that bonus. It is worth, its weight in gold. We surveyed a lot of our most successful members and ask them, “Tell us what it is that you say in these moments. What do you think in these moments?” And we have 50 different things that we go through. Leanne says, “I want to join your group so bad. One of the main reasons is to find friends that are on the same journey. Bonus points if someone’s local to me.” So there’s a couple of things that we do there. Number one is, we have a very thriving community. In fact, it’s so active, they might as well be power walkers ’cause they’re very active. Number two, is that you can always post to see, do we have people in those local communities? Our members are always meeting each other up. And one of the third things that we do inside of our membership, that’s different than other memberships for weight loss, is we actually have an accountability group program.

So when you sign up for our weight loss, you will submit a form, if you want to get a partner or you want to get a small group. And then we have our accountability goddess, Heidi, who actually places people together in accountability groups so that they can work on things, check in with each other where you can make friends and not feel so lonely. I know how important community is to weight loss and especially with excuses. Because we are all making up excuses all the time. And one of the things that’s so funny about excuses, is they feel so true and they feel so real in the moment. They don’t feel fake. They feel like they’re God’s honest truth, like you’re putting your hand on the Bible and saying, “This is true.”

The problem is that just because something feels true, it doesn’t make it true. So I want you to really think about this. Just because something feels true, like, “I’m busy,” doesn’t make that the truth. It’s an interpretation, but there’s almost always other things that are equally as true that you can be telling yourself that don’t erode at you. So let’s say if you’re like, “I’m too busy to lose weight right now.” That’s going to feel true, but your accountability group will hear that when you’re talking to them. You might be texting them, maybe y’all share a small Facebook group. A lot of our accountability groups use an app on their phone called Marco Polo, which is video talking to each other and they’ll say, “Hey, I heard you say the reason why you didn’t make your plan was because you’re too busy. Can we dig into that? How long does it take for you to make a plan? Tomorrow, could you carve out those three to five minutes? Was your day that busy? Did you have any three to five minutes where you could have made a plan?”

Accountability groups, the nice thing about them, is they’ll hear your excuses and then they’ll highlight them for you and they’ll make you question them. I tell people all the time, there’s, one version of the truth is, “I’m too busy for weight loss,” but what’s really true and what’s really good to tell yourself is, “I choose not to make time for weight loss right now.” I tell people all the time, if you’re going to tell the truth, tell the truth in such a way that it doesn’t make you feel hopeless or give you no options to change things. “I’m too busy for weight loss,” cuts off all of your creative ideas, cuts off all of your prioritizing, it cuts off you looking at everything and deciding where you can fit things in, saying to yourself, “It’s not that I’m too busy, I choose other things and I’m making other things more important than my weight loss goals.” That’s really the truth today.

When you say that, you are taking responsibility and you are doing ownership of it, and when you take ownership, then your brain might start saying things like, “But we really do want to lose weight.” And so it would make sense that if you keep telling yourself, “I’m choosing not to, I’m choosing not to.” At some point you’ll say, “Okay, how can I get this done? Is there something easy that I can do?” Because when you tell the truth, your brain that really wants your dream, it starts nagging you. When you don’t tell the truth, it doesn’t wake up to nag you. It thinks, “Well, I guess she’s right. We got to just give up. We ain’t got no time.” \.

Karen asks, and if y’all have questions, just put them in the Q and A for me, “Is it okay not to write down every morning what I’m having as I sometimes don’t know?” This is what I would ask you. Why do you not want to know? That’s the question. I find it really important that we go ahead and plan our food for the day. Now, if it’s very easy for you to make a rock solid choice every single morning, you’re never choosing donuts over fruit, whatever it is that you think you’re going to eat every day, if you’re having no problems, I wouldn’t worry about it. But here’s what I don’t want anyone to do. The reason why I have you write down your food ahead of time is if you’re stressed out in the mornings or if somebody brings free food in, let’s say the boss brings in free donuts and you’re like, “Well, I never know when the boss is going to bring in free donuts.” Okay, is your weight loss goals less important than $1.50 of free donuts?

When we write things down, when we force ourselves to do that, we start asking better questions. But if you’re having no problem like, “I eat a decent breakfast every morning.” I’d be like, “It’s fine.” “Sometimes I just want this versus that.” You don’t have to write it down, but I encourage people to write things down because what you don’t want to make your food decisions in the moment is your whims. “Well, it’s free. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.” I don’t want the tired version of me at night making my decisions. Morning me might have anxiety about the workday and sometimes might eat shit first thing in the morning. Well, I don’t want anxiety me making that decision. That’s why we make the decision beforehand, when we are thinking, when we’re clear minded, when we’re taking deep breaths and when we’re thinking about what we really want for ourselves.

Even if you want to plan donuts, that’s fine. I just want you to do it from the version of you that is like, “Not only am I having a donut, I’m going to really enjoy it. There will be no guilt on the back end. There will be no regrets on the back end. I won’t eat two because I think I fucked up. No, this I planned.” I want us to always be planning from the best version of ourselves and then that way when we are the tired version of ourselves, the exhausted version of ourselves, the worried what other people might think version of ourselves, the people pleasing version of ourselves, guess what? We’ve given her a plan to follow. She just has to say yes to the best version.

That is where you start getting some power. Michelle says, “I want to join no BS. I love this.” Then join, seriously, get off this, go to www.joinnobs.com. I would join today. You’ll be ready to rock and roll. We will send you your welcome stuff immediately. I would not wait. For all of you, why keep waiting? So many of you need to ask yourself that. “Why do I keep waiting to join? Is it because I’m afraid? Am I making up excuses around I’m afraid I can’t do it?” Well, guess what? Every success story that I’ve ever coached, they were afraid they couldn’t do it either. You ain’t no special snowflake. You got the normal fears and shit. The difference between you and a success story is at some point they just decided to get brave and give it a try and go to work on their fears instead of what most of us do is, “I’m afraid of this, so I’m going to sit back and I’m going to wait until there’s a magic day where I’m suddenly convinced I can do it.”

Days never coming, honey, ever. I ain’t ever met any woman inside of my group who said, “You know what? I waited around forever and then there was this day I woke up and I was a hundred percent locked in on conviction that I could do it, and it was amazing.” Said no one ever. At some point we all get brave and we take a step forward, but between you right now and the brave, courageous version of you is a thousand little moments of suckage, of wishing and hoping and pining and self-loathing and stuff about, “I can’t do it.” And every one of those moments I’m just like, “Can we collapse the timeframe?” If there is a version of you, who one day may do this, close the gap. Skip the suck part. Just be brave today instead of delaying it. I just think life’s too short to live. I’m always on the lookout for ways that I can shrink the window of suckage of my life and only I can do that.

Annette says, “I have many whys, but I’m having trouble finding my big why.” I don’t think we have to have a big why. Annette,. Quit looking for the big one, have lots of them, and then in the moments, all you got to do is try different ones on and the one that works in that moment, that’s the big why of the moment. Tomorrow it may not even matter to you. That’s why having lots of whys is more important than sitting around like, “Ooh, I’m going to…” Here’s the thing about wise, they’re helpful in the moment, they are not the silver bullet in the moment. Everybody, please, you know what the silver bullet in the moment of an excuse is? Your ass being very willing to do something that you don’t want to do.

How many times has your baby shit their diaper and you not really want to do it, but you do. You know why you do it? You want a clean ass. You don’t want no rashes. That’s not big whys, but they’re compelling enough and in the moment just because you don’t want to, just don’t allow yourself to use that. You’re just like, “There’s real problem here. My baby’s going to get butt rash for days because something wrong with me. I never seem to want to clean up a shitty diaper.” Now could imagine if we acted like that? Seriously? But for some reason when it comes to following your plan to lose weight, all of that stupid drama is okay. It’s like, “No, no, no, but that’s real.” It’s not real. If you would not sit around and complain about cleaning your baby’s butt and you just did it, or if you wouldn’t, would you actually be like, “I need to hire someone. I just can’t seem to get motivated to change diapers.”

We have to learn the skill of making, following our plans just as, “All right, digging in, doing it,” as we do when we change a diaper. That’s what we have to do. You got to unwind all of this crap that you believed. “I make a food plan every morning and my goal is to follow it at least seven days a month, but I keep failing. Is my goal of following my plan 17 days too hard?” I wouldn’t call it too hard. You know what I would call it? Not met yet. Let’s not try to lower our standard so we can win. Let’s just look at what you’re doing and call it a win until we get to 17. It’s like, “All righty, I’m going again this month. Proud of me. Here I am. I’m going to do it again this month.”

Oh, Jeanette, I didn’t even get to finish reading that one. I’m sorry. Let me look and see if I can find it. “Do I need to set a smaller goal, like follow my plan for 20 meals a month? I feel like a failure and wonder why it’s so damn hard to follow my plan.” Number one, you’re not a failure. You’re just not following your plan. Very different. When you have thoughts that, “I’m not following my plan means I’m failing,” we could just as easily say, “When I’m not following my plan, it means I need to uncover what’s going on.” We don’t have to attach morality to it. You don’t have to be a bad person because of it. There doesn’t have to be anything wrong with you as a human because you can’t do it yet. So we want to add yet to the end of it. “I’m not doing it yet. I’m still figuring out what I need to do. I’m very proud of me for keep putting myself up for this goal and then every month giving myself the opportunity to figure it out one more time.”

It’s a very different way of talking about it than the way you’re talking about it, and when you go into the next month with that kind of energy, you pay attention better. Right now, you’re paying attention to your moral failings. When you’re not doing it, instead of looking into, “I wonder what’s really going on. Let me process this. Let me go to…” If you’re one of my members, Janette, make a commitment for this next month, that every single time you don’t follow your plan, the next day you’re going to go to ask coaches and say, “Here’s the reasons why I didn’t follow my plan yesterday. I thought these things, I felt this way. I told myself this stuff. This is why I think it didn’t happen,” and let us coach you through it. You do that for a month, you’ll figure out a lot more about yourself. Or you can spend another month feeling like a failure.

I want you to think about this. I wouldn’t lower the goal because the goal isn’t to just follow your plan, the goal is to figure out why you don’t follow your plan so that when you do start following it, you’ve removed every obstacle and excuse and made following plans for the rest of your life easier. That’s what we really want, so let’s work on that this next month, Janette. “Are your live podcasts recorded? Some of my workout classes start at night.” Oh, yeah. Everything that we do inside of the membership, Sherry, is recorded and then it is dropped on Tuesdays and Fridays inside two places. We have a whole video on demand replay section of our website, so when you join No BS, you not only get access to our course, but you also get access to our archived replays of coaching calls, mini classes, mini workshops, worksheet calls, anything that we’ve done, they’re in the video replace.

If you are an on-the-go kind of person where it’s like, “I’m going to be honest with you, I’m never going to watch videos.” That’s perfect. We give you all of our content in a private member podcast. So we have a podcast for our courses, we have podcasts for our live trainings. We also have a very special member only podcast around what’s called Quick Hits, which is a lot of people like to listen to me in 20 minutes or less. They’re like, “Just give me the heat, give me the preach and give me all the cussing. That’s what I want. Like what is your most fiery fuck-filled shit you got? All the cuss words, Corinne.” That’s in the Quick Hits podcast. It’s usually me ranting, preaching, going deep, doing the things. It’s what our users say, “This mattered,” and they like to listen to that as a way to be motivated in the quick moments.

So you have two choices. For those of you who watching videos, and you like to sit and consume the content, we have our on-demand library, and for those of you who are like, “No, I just want to take you everywhere I go.” “I’ll walk, that’s when I’ll listen to things.” “I’ll listen to you in the shower.” “I’ll listen to you in the car.” Wherever you like to listen, we have our private member podcast for you, but that’s all just for members. “Is losing a pound every week good?” Yes.

I actually have a podcast coming out where I did a podcast on weight loss drugs with some doctors, just to talk about things, and one of the things that they said that I was like, “This is so true.” You want to only be losing about a half a pound to two pounds a week for a variety of reasons. Number one, your body doesn’t think something traumatic is happening, so it’s less likely to throw you into stalls. It’s less likely to throw you into plateaus. It’s also less likely to send up lots and lots of urges to overeat or eat your favorite things when you’re just chipping away at the weight loss. Dramatic weight loss actually increases demands of hunger and demands of your favorite foods.

The other thing is when you lose any faster than that, you are really likely to be tearing up your muscle mass and that’s where a lot of people say dieting screws up their metabolism. Harsh dieting that rips weight off too fast, rips off muscle and muscle is a metabolism driver, so you don’t want to be losing weight so fast that you set yourself up to get stalled out somewhere because you’ve also lost so much muscle that your body is dropping its metabolism ’cause without muscle, it doesn’t have the energy stores to burn as many calories naturally. So there’s just a couple of reasons why you shouldn’t lose any weight faster than that. “I’m trying to lose the last five to 10 pounds.

Will this plan helped me lose this last bit of weight? I’ve tried counting calories and other weight loss plans and keep failing to get these last pounds off? Yes, but April, the way we teach things is probably the reason why the last five to 10 pounds has been hard, is you’ve probably been keeping just enough overeating or what we call grab-ass eating and not putting it. A lot of people who only have five to 10 pounds to lose often will say this, “I should be able to eat this much.” “I should be able to eat this.” We have a lot of people that come in, who are losing that last little bit of weight, and they don’t realize they’re overeating healthy food.

They’re still emotionally eating. It’s just not Twix and Ding Dongs. It’s big salads. It’s things that are like, “But this shouldn’t matter.” If you are overeating to feel full to comfort yourself, whether that’s a protein bar, it’s nuts, it’s salads or it’s Ding Dong’s, Twinkies and chips, it’s the same problem. You are dealing with your life with food instead of dealing with your life, and we teach you a lot about how do you find these root causes and how do you unwind all of this.

“I’m struggling with knowing when I’m hungry. I thought about using a reset system like Plexus. What are your thoughts?” Nobody needs a reset. Let me ask you this. How many times have you reset and gone back to hunger problems? One of the reasons why we have a lot of hunger issues is because we keep doing shit like that, where you don’t eat for a few days and your body’s like, “Fuck me. I’m like sending you a thousand notices that you’re hungry and you’re overriding it.” So then it starts having to send all kinds of hunger signals and stuff. Research shows, most people who do resets and things like that end up, when they come off, guess what the first thing they do is. “Well, let me go have a celebration meal ’cause I’ve been so good. Either they do it that literal day that it ends, so they overeat their face off the day it ends, or they wait a few days and then they need a break. I’ve just been so good, I just need a break. The next thing you know, a break turns into three days.

Resets don’t change your habits. They don’t change your thought patterns. There’s no shake or reset out there that’s going to give you a lobotomy and take away reward eating, stress eating, or teach you how to deal with any of that. “Grab-assing, I love it. I have a lot of resistance to planning my meals. I judge myself for not being committed to my goal for losing 30 pounds. How can I overcome this obstacle?” Well, I’d join No BS. That’s where we teach you how to overcome bullshit like that. If you’re having resistance to planning your meals, you need to ask what excuses are you using? What are you afraid of if you plan your meals? That you won’t get to eat what you want? That’s not how I teach it. Inside our program, we teach you how to plan what you want to eat. We’re just going to do it deliberately. We’re going to do it intentionally. We’re not going to do it whenever we fucking want to.

Most of the time, if you’ve got 30 pounds to lose, it’s because you want to eat what you want, but you’re eating it whenever you feel like it, instead of eating what you want when you’ve planned for it in a smart way, in a controlled way. It’s a very different way to do it, and you get to enjoy the food so much more. All right, so if you want to join, go to joinnobs.com. It’s $59 a month. You can cancel at any time. If you join in the next 48 hours from now, you will get the bonus where we’re going to give you 50 ways to say no when it’s hard.

When you are committed, let’s say you’re going out on date night. How do you say no to the extra drink when you’re like, “Two two, it’s fine.” How do you say no to ice cream at night when you’ve had a long day and you didn’t get to eat all your lunch? How do you say no to yourself? How do you say no to someone when they want to give like, “I made this just for you,” and you’re sitting there going like, “Yeah, I don’t really want to eat that, but should I so I can look like a good girl so I don’t hurt their feelings?” We tell you exactly what to say in all of it. The easiest way to know what to say is to somebody just to give you a script. So we do. All right, get on, get in now. I hope to see you in tomorrow’s class. Otherwise, I will see you next month for our next live session. It’ll be the third Tuesday of the month at 9:00 AM. Talk to you soon. Bye y’all.