Everyone who has lost weight has one thing in common. They doubted it was possible.
Successful people, in the beginning, think things like…
“This won’t be good enough.”
“I’ll probably gain it all back.”
“I’ve always failed and this time probably won’t be different.”
This is good news for you. Your shitty doubts can’t stop you from losing weight. Shitty doubts just feel like crap. They make it harder to lose weight…
…but your doubts can’t STOP you from losing weight.
I want you to make weightloss a whole lot easier. Nobody wants to lose weight and have it be hard.
Episode 304: Overcoming Weightloss Doubt will give you the exact things you need to do to reduce your doubts and feel some ease in weightloss.
Now there are even more ways to get your Corinne fix! Listen to Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne on these platforms:
Ready to lose your weight for the last damn time? Join the No BS Weightloss Program today!
Hello everyone. Do not forget that this is a call with me. I am Corinne Crabtree, host of the Losing 100 Pounds podcast, so I don’t want you to forget to make sure that you have subscribed and signed up for that. You can find it in Apple, you can find it on Spotify now, whoop whoop, and we also are putting it on YouTube. So if you just look for Losing 100 Pounds podcast, if you look for Corinne Crabtree, you are going to find all you need to know about losing weight with me. This is a free live call that I do every single month. I do it on the, I believe that this is the third Tuesday. I think it’s the third Tuesday of every month. 9:00 AM Central Time. So you can always check back here. If you will go to the website, nobsfreecourse.com, you can get my free course on weight loss.
You can sign up and then that way every month you will get a notification in email about our Facebook Live. Okay. So with all of that out of the way, I always like to do a few announcements in the beginning because you may be watching the replay and that will get you all the information you need and it also gives all of you time to get here so that you don’t miss vital information. Let’s talk about overcoming weight loss doubt. Now I have the notes. Today what I want to do is do something a little different. I want to teach you something a little bit of what I will be teaching my entire No BS weight loss membership tomorrow. So if you are here and you’re one of the No BS women who are already a private member, never fear you don’t even have to listen to this one.
You are going to get this plus all of the deep cuts information and your questions answered tomorrow at our regularly scheduled Wednesday call with me every Wednesday, 9:00 AM Central Time, and if you can’t attend our live calls, which most of my members cannot attend live calls, then you just head on over to your private member podcast player and on Friday you will get the replay in the private member podcast player, or you can go to the website, log into your membership portal and the video replay will be right there for you. Let’s talk about overcoming weight loss doubt. One of the things that I think happens very often when people are specifically listening to my podcast, you hear a lot about changing your thoughts.
You join the membership and we talk about changing your thoughts. And what most of us, this is what we think about it. Well, Corinne, it makes sense. I shouldn’t think that I can’t lose weight, but it just keeps coming up. Am I doing things wrong? No, you aren’t. I want to talk today specifically about for all of you, why even when you know a thought is shitty, when you’re doubting that you can lose weight, when you’re doubting that what you’re doing is good enough, it’s going to work, it’s going to last, when any of that’s happening. I want to talk about why that thought doesn’t just flip automatically. I think a lot of us have this misconception that you’re going to hear something in one of my podcasts, you’re going to hear something in a video, it’s going to make sense, and then your brain still offers up the way it’s always thought.
It’s still going to tell you that whenever you do something, it’s probably not good enough. It’s never going to work. If you have an overeat, it’s going to tell you, see, you’ll never lose weight. It’s going to think that stuff for a long, long time. You might as well just put it in the bank that it’s going to, unless you are consciously working on changing that thought every single time it comes up, it’s probably going to come up for a long, long time. Now, let me tell you why this happens. Your brain has thought your shit probably what a million times in your lifetime, two million times? I want you to think about how often our brain says these things to us.
Well, when it’s said it over and over and over again, your brain actually makes neural pathways. We’re going to get a little nerdy right now. I don’t always get nerdy, but I’m going to get nerdy. This is what happens in the brain. You think shit and you do it over and over again and your brain has these things called neurons and all kinds of stuff, and its job is to take what you do over and over and over again and make it a pattern, make it something that you can just think without having to think. And it does this because your brain has these two major parts to it. It has what’s called the reasoning brain and your conscious brain. This is the part of your brain that’s aware.
This is the part of your brain that’s on for you. This is the part of the brain that does math, that calculates things. If you want to buy something like a house or a car, it really thinks things through. It thinks about long-term impact. This is the part of your brain that you turn on to think about things consciously. And it’s very taxing, super taxing. Most of us only use that part of the brain about 5% of the day, and this is by human design. There’s another part of your brain which is called the habit central, and this is the part of the brain where everything goes on repeat. Your brain’s main functioning job is to take anything that it hears and it stores it.
And if you latch onto it at any point in your lifetime, whether you’re three years old, 13 years old, 33 years old, or 63 years old, it puts it on repeat and it offers it over and over again, because it doesn’t know that emotionally it’s not helpful. The habit brain doesn’t give a fuck about how you feel. It doesn’t care about your dreams and your goals, it doesn’t care about any of that. All it cares about is what does she think over and over and over again and how can I best make sure that I offer that first? Because its job is to also make sure you breathe regularly, that your heartbeat beats. It has a very important job, and what it does not want to do is spend a lot of time thinking.
So it tries to make as much of shit that goes on in your life and in your brain tries to make it automatic. Now, the reason why I tell you all of this is because when you listen to my podcast and we talk about weight loss doubt, you’re going to hear things that make sense. You’re going to be like, yeah, I can see that thinking that I can’t lose weight never helps me, and you’ll have all kinds of insights. And in that moment they’ll be like this little blip of a shift and it’ll make sense. But then tomorrow, later in the day, an hour later, whatever it is, you’ll go and try to do whatever I tell you. You’ll try to do the four basics, whatever it is that you’re learning in my podcast about weight loss and your brain will offer up doubts and fears first, even though you just learned that that shit does not help you.
This is what the difference between a weight loss success story and someone who listens to the podcast and can’t get it does, because my members get classes on how to change all of this. Y’all If you’re a member, this is you need the four ends. We have brand new content coming out in April all around how to change your thinking around restriction, deprivation, your nightly urges, your habit eating, all kinds of eating pitfalls that we have. But we get frustrated because it’s like, I know I should think better, but I’m not, so there must be a problem. I want to tell you there’s not a problem. The reason why I explained how your brain works is because your brain hasn’t had enough reps yet thinking the new stuff. And it takes a while.
So many people mistake that weight loss is about what you eat. They’re always like, how many of you are constantly, give me a thumbs up. You spend at least 20 minutes a week Pinteresting or Googling skinny recipes, how to lose weight things, checking out what your girlfriend did. Yesterday when she said she joined something new. We spend a lot of time searching and digging for weight loss. This is important because what I want to tell you is just because your brain keeps thinking shit, doesn’t mean you have to believe it. What my weight loss clients learn is that it is not about recipes. It is not about big ass food preps. It’s not about your calories, it’s not about your macros. It’s not about any of that stuff.
It’s not about can I eat a carb at night? Should I stop eating three hours before a bed? It is fasting. None of that is important. Because when you’re focused on that, what you miss out on is you’re missing out on all of that thinking that makes it really hard to follow any bullshit you find on the internet. And here’s how we know that happens. How many diets have you started? And in the beginning it’s exciting. In the beginning you’re doing the shit and then there comes a day where you’re just like, I don’t know if it’s going to work. This seems really hard. You know what makes it hard? When you are letting your doubts about weight loss run unchecked.
If every time you’re eating within your macros and you’re tracking your food and MyFitnessPal and you’re doing all the things, if every single time you do one of the diet actions that right before it you’re scared it won’t work, you’re terrified or right as you’re doing them, your brain all of a sudden is like doubting, doubting, doubting, then guess what? You’re going to want to quit. You’re going to want to stop. Who wants to do things that drive the doubt, fear and terror? Nobody. And especially your brain. So you want to make sure that you’re changing that stuff. I needed to cover that for all of you who are in the public, this is the free Facebook Live. My members get this shit all the time. But y’all need to know that because here’s a problem that I’m seeing.
I made a post the other day, believe it went out on Facebook and it went on my Instagram and I asked, hey, what would you love for me to talk about on the podcast? Do you know what the number one thing was? It was thought stuff. How do I change my thoughts? And I’m just going to tell all of you, I love you, but I would be doing a complete disservice to you to try to teach you in a 20 to 30 minute podcast once a week how to rewire your brain. If your doubts and your fears and your old shitties and all this other stuff keeps coming back up, you need to be getting more help. You need deeper lessons. You need to actually do some of the stuff we do inside. That’s why a lot of that stuff’s not sticking. That’s why your doubts keep coming back.
So in tomorrow’s class with my members, I’m going to teach y’all what to do when old you thinking, which we call old shitty keeps coming back, even though you know should think something different, even though you want to think something different. We’re going to go through all of it. But here’s what I want to leave all of you with today because I want all of you to get a little bit of help. The biggest thing that you must do when it comes to your old thinking, the number one thing is when something like this isn’t going to be enough. I’ve never been able to do it before. I can’t. Anything like that happens, before you try to change the thought, you have to at least know that is what you’re thinking.
Many of us are just letting that shit go through our brains every day as if that’s the only truth available. Now, listen to me when I say that. A lot of you will argue, but I have never been able to lose weight. I can count the ways Corinne of the 32 diets that I’ve done in the past failed. I can tell you what they were, how much I lost, and how much I gained. I can make a case for me being a loser. For a fuck’s sake, number one, you have to learn how to quit arguing for your loserness. I don’t know if that’s a word, but we’re going to roll with it today. One of the first things I teach my clients is we got to quit battling for failure. Most people are doing that trying to lose weight. They’re wondering, why is weight loss so hard? Why am I constantly overeating? Why is it hard to stick to what I say I’m going to do?
While over here on the other hand juggling constantly telling yourself I’m not good enough. This won’t work and here’s why it won’t work. Here’s all the things that you failed at. That’s what makes weight loss hard. I want all of you to just imagine for a second, everybody just like legit. Unless you’re driving or doing something, you shouldn’t close your eyes. All my girls that are on treadmills right now, please don’t do this. But close your eyes for a second and just take a big deep breath. And I want you to just think for a second, and I don’t care how much you don’t believe in yourself, I just want you to give yourself the opportunity to see a crack in the way you think.
What I teach you is to don’t eat when you’re hungry, to stop when you’ve had enough, drink your water, get some sleep, and then every day just decide ahead of time what you’re going to eat. I don’t care if that’s ding dongs all the way up to broccoli, but you’re just going to make a decision with the best part of you. Who wants the most for you, who loves you. Okay. That’s what we do. I want you to imagine, would doing those things be hard if every day you told yourself, maybe this is possible, maybe I’m wrong about my past, maybe it’s worth giving it a try. The worst that could happen is I’m wrong again. I already feel bad about all the pastimes I’ve been wrong. What’s one more? Let’s just see what happens.
I want you to imagine, would doing those things be as hard if we learned how to have that conversation versus doing those things while saying there’s no way you can lose weight, this will never work. You’ve tried doing things that give you food freedom and you stink at it, you’ll always be overweight. That’s what makes it hard. That’s what grinds everything to a fucking dead stop. And that’s why with weight loss, I want you to do what I teach because I know my framework works. You can ask people in the chat right now, they will tell you how much weight they’ve lost. We have people of all ages, all sizes, people who’ve had weight loss surgery, people who’ve not had weight loss surgery.
We have people who have like PCOS, menopause, 4,000 kids, no kids, grandmas, I don’t have any kids, all of it. Why do you think so many different people with so many different backgrounds, so many different physical abilities and stuff can lose weight? Because they all have one major thing in common. They have a brain. The brain is the common denominator for all of them. And when you work on changing your brain, your ass and your life changes. That’s how it works. So the very first step for all of you who are not inside of No BS is you have to get aware of all of that thinking. You can’t miss it. The first thing that we teach in No BS is the basics and what the basics does. That first module of No BS really teaches you what we call that first phase of awareness.
You’re just getting conscious. I teach you how to start listening to your body, stop listening to your apps, stop listening to all the diet gurus, stop listening to your husband, stop listening to your girlfriend that lifts weight. Stop listening to all of it. We’re going to listen to our body. We’re going to reconnect. We have to get aware of what our body’s signals are. We have to get aware of what food choices do we like making. We have to get re-in touch with all of that. There’s this first level of awareness. Some people do really well with that. Most people in the podcast, if you’re losing weight, it’s because just getting aware of how you’re doing with food. And when I say how you’re doing with food, it’s like how you’re eating, what your body is saying, that for some people is amazing and gets some weight off. Go for it.
And that’s why I teach in that very first module of No BS, before we can get aware of anything else, we have to go through phase one awareness, which is how do I show up in my life? What am I eating? What am I doing? Then we move to the second module, and that’s where a lot of what I notice the podcast listeners diverge. The second one, we start getting awareness of our thinking. And that’s what I’m talking about today. Before you can change any of it, you have to know how you do talk to yourself every single day. Your internal conversation is the single most important conversation you’ll ever have in your life. I have people all the time wanting to get coached. I’m like, well, what about my boyfriend or my girlfriend who doesn’t believe in me?
They tell me I should be doing this. It would be so much easier if someone would just support me. I’m going to tell you right now, that’s the most painful thought anybody ever has about weight loss. That if somebody else believed in you, you’d have it easier. And here’s why. When you rely on someone else to believe in you, number one, they got to have a good day every fucking day. They also have to prioritize your wants and needs way above their own. They have to make sure that no matter what’s going on in their life, they’re believing in you, they’re talking to you, they’re doing your personal emotional work for you. And if you’re a people pleaser, you know you don’t like doing that.
I’ve never met anyone who said, do you know what I want to be? I want to be responsible for somebody else’s emotional life. I want to make sure that I walk around on eggshells, that I can read their mind and know what they need to hear at any given moment. I want to make sure I can never have a bad moment and that whatever they need, they can have all the bad moments they need. They can be doubting themselves, they can be down on themselves, they can think they’re not good enough, and I want to step in and be the rescue person. That’s exhausting. So quit making people be that. And this is what’s crazy. You want people who suck at it to suddenly become good at it. If they were already good at cheerleading you, guess what motherfuckers? They’d be doing it.
So quit expecting it. It just hurts. Your expectation hurts you. But here’s the most important reason, and it’s number two, when you need someone else to cheerlead you and you want that so bad, you forget you have the best cheerleader in the world and it’s inside your brain. You may need to teach her how to cheerlead, you may need to teach her how to drop all of her old programming, but I would much rather you spend time on the one person that you can change. You can’t change the other people to support you, but you can change you. You’re the easiest one to change. And don’t tell yourself some bullshit that you ain’t. It takes time, but it’s not that you can’t. Most people don’t want to put the work in to do it.
And I’ll go back to what we started with, when it comes to the doubts and stuff. That’s the conversation that you got to change if you want your dress size to change. You can’t talk to yourself like an asshole. Look at how many diets you failed. Did they fail? I want you to really think about this. They fail because we are never taught the real problem, which is how we talk to ourselves. And so I teach us out of No BS. In phase two now we got to become really aware. We have to notice our thinking. And this is hard for a lot of people because when you start noticing your thinking, if you are already hard on yourself, guess what? You’ll probably do with your thinking? You’ll be hard on yourself about your thinking. You’ll be like, oh my God, I can’t believe I think this. Oh my God, this is so terrible.
But this is important. I’ve just never met a weight loss success story who didn’t improve the quality of their self-talk, who didn’t improve the quality of how they think about themselves, including myself. That’s how I lost a hundred pounds. People ask me all the time, what did you do? And I’m like, honestly, I did my four basics. I can’t tell you things I did every day, but I can tell you and I remember the crystal clear moments when I would get so good at hearing myself doubt and hearing myself talk so terribly to myself, calling myself a fat that will never lose weight. Looking at myself in the mirror and saying, there’s no way your husband loves you looking like this. And I would dead stop. And I remember saying, no, this is old Corinne thinking. This is what I’ve always thought that drove me to food and I’m not doing that anymore.
New Corinne trusts that her husband loves her or he wouldn’t be married to me. New Corinne doesn’t call herself a fat ass. New Corinne focuses on, you know what, you love yourself enough to pay attention to yourself talk. So for all of you, that second phase, that’s the part we need the most help on. And that’s why I want so many of you to join No BS. Stop just listening to the free podcast. Get over to No BS where we’re working on this every day. And then tomorrow’s class, if you join today, just go to joinnobs.com. We’re wide open. You can be there for tomorrow’s class at nine in the morning where I’m going to not only teach you how to catch old shitty, but there’s three phrases that I use because I still have old Corinne thinking that comes up. Old shitty is what we call old Corinne.
He comes up all the time, every single day. I just don’t hate him anymore. I know how to work with him. I know he always has a purpose. And that’s what I teach my members. So tomorrow I’m going to give you my three key phrases for when old shitty just keeps coming back, because this is the biggest problem that I see when it comes to overcoming weight loss doubt, is before you actually can believe that you’re going to lose weight, you’ve got to have a power thought about your thinking as it keeps coming back up over and over and over again that you believe, that feels truthful, that feels real, and it’s not. Of course I can lose weight or it’s just a matter of time. Most of us are just not ready for that. That’s what we want to believe one day. We want so desperately to believe that we can do it.
And I’m just here to tell you to lose weight you don’t have to believe you can do it, not immediately. In the beginning you just have to be really aware of when you’re telling yourself you can’t and you need a trick to get out of feeling so hopeless and end into feeling like calm, peaceful. Okay, let’s move into some Q&A and see what y’all are asking. If you have a question, what you can do is you can use hashtag ask and you can ask in the comments, then my team will be feeding me stuff. And like I said, if you want to join us today at joinnobs.com, we will get you started. You will get your welcome video immediately. We will plug you right in. You’ll be ready for tomorrow’s class if you want to attend it, or you can listen to this class on Friday in the private member podcast and in the video replay.
All right, do you have a bariatric surgery group? We do. We have a weight loss surgery group that it’s one of our subgroups. We have lots of subgroups inside of No BS. So if you join, we have a main Facebook group where, this is not where our website is. We have a private member website that has courses, paths to weight loss. One of the things that we have is once you finish the initial No BS weight loss course, we give you a quiz and we see like, all right, where’s your next level issues? And that’s what the next courses we want you to take are. So we do a lot of guiding you through the process, but we also have a Facebook group because we use that as a place for you to get support.
A lot of people don’t have a lot of support in their real life, and it’s not that they have people who don’t believe in them and stuff, they just don’t have anybody that can relate to them. We have a main Facebook group where we all are there cheering each other on, asking questions. I like to think of it as lunchtime at school or recess. And then we also have subgroups within No BS so that you can find people who are a little bit more like you. So we have a weight loss surgery group. We have a really thriving 55 plus group. I have to give a shout out to Ginger Northrop, who is just one of our members, who literally, she just loves on the 55 plus group like nobody’s business. And Cindy Switzer too.
They are two women who I just adore so much inside my membership. They just show up every day and they just make that group amazing. So shout out to Ginger, shout out to Cindy. We have a women of color group. We have groups for exercisers. We have a group for people that’s lost more than 25 pounds. We have a group for people who have over a hundred pounds to lose. We just have a lot of groups. Another group that we have is our maintenance group. We have a lot of people who have come through the program, who have lost all their weight, and we also have a lot of people who join because they’ve lost their physical weight, but they’re mentally miserable. And nobody loses weight to be mentally miserable. So they join the program to take our maintenance program and to be in our maintenance group to learn how to drop that mental weight that didn’t come off with their physical weight.
Is there clues or ways to know that you’ve had enough to eat when you’re full? Years of overeating has made this the hardest part for me. I just, first I want to say that that’s super normal. When we have been overeating for a long time, we’ve just taught our body that you don’t need to pay attention anymore. You’re just teaching your body over and over and over again how to dull the senses and things like that. It’s very normal, but it’s not impossible. There’s just a lot of ways inside of if you’re a member, then you can go to module one of No BS and in how to stop it enough class there is, we talk a lot about that. We also have cheat sheets on how to dial into your physical symptoms.
But just a couple of little things that you can do is, number one, the first thing I would encourage everyone is if you feel like you’re missing your enough cues, the first thing you have to do is realize it’s not a problem. A lot of us we get so much anxiety about it and we keep telling ourselves that we can’t do it. That if you’ve got anxiety while you’re eating, around trying to stop it, enough, anxiety, the hormones that cortisol and adrenaline, that anxiety is going to release the worry, that kind of stuff, it’s going to override some of your body’s signals. So one of the things we teach inside of module two of No BS is all about our emotions and how they work.
And the short of it is this. When you have a thought, any random sentence runs through your brain and you’ve got 60,000 of them little boogers that are running around every single day, then your brain, think of it as a bartender, it gets an order for a drink, a chemical cocktail. It’s like, you want an anxiety sidecar. Whatever you are dialing up with your thinking. And so the bartender makes the drink and sends it through the bloodstream, just pours it right on into the bloodstream. And then when all of that drink, the emotions bartender made hits your bloodstream, it has a physical reaction. Most people don’t realize a feeling isn’t just what they think. Feelings are always just physical. Our thoughts are what make them even worse.
So if you have anxiety, a trick is to just breathe and say, where am I feeling this in my body? If you’re in No BS, you know we have a whole body scan walkthrough, but you just go through head to toe trying to identify how this feeling is in you. So that, one, it teaches your brain that your feeling is just an emotional response your body is having, this physical response. Two, what it does is it also teaches you that it’s not as big of a deal if it’s just a physical response. It puts some separation there. The reason why I’m telling you this is because the biggest thing that I noticed when people are missing a lot of their hunger and enough cues, is they’ve got such a story around doing it that every time they eat they trigger anxiety, they trigger overwhelm, they trigger fear, and then they wonder why they can’t get a physical sensation.
So if you calm yourself down and just tell yourself it’s going to take time, it would be normal that this is not automatic. I’m still going to pay attention even if I’m not good at hearing it yet. That doesn’t mean I stop paying attention. That will settle your nerves and you will probably start noticing more physical things. And another important thing about being able to identify feelings in your body, the more you can identify how a feeling is reacting in your body, you also get better. It’s a transferrable skill to being able to identify when your body has enough food. Most of us are overweight because we’re so out of touch with our bodies, our body’s feelings, our body’s hunger cues, our body’s enough cues.
We have spent a lifetime, this is the reason why I just, I’m just going to say it. I hate diets. I just hate them, because they trade on your fear, number one, they don’t teach you how to manage your mind, but they also disassociate from your body. They don’t make the body the ultimate decision maker and everybody’s body actually has, I want you to think about the body’s purpose. The body’s ultimate purpose is to be around for a long time. You may have deconditioned some of your hunger enough cues, but if you can decondition them, then you can build them back up with some time. So just take the temperature down around it and then start seeing what you notice. See if that helps you dial in more.
For all of my members, if you want cheat sheets and all of that information, just go to No BS module one. All of that is inside. I think it’s in the hunger module or the enough modules. But if you just pay more attention, and here’s like a cheat way to do it, it’s not really a cheat, I hate to say it that way, but here’s an easy way. If you think you’re always overeating and you’re eating past enough and you haven’t been able to dial into your body just yet, just serve yourself less, not dramatically less, but just a little bit less. Now, this is important because this is what podcast members here, they just here serve themselves less and they don’t change listening to themselves and they don’t change things. What you got to do is while you’re also eating a little bit less, you have to listen for the thoughts that it’s going to trigger. It’s probably going to think I don’t know if this’ll be enough.
It’s going to trigger some anxiety. You got to take the temperature back down again. Also when you serve yourself a little bit less, you also need to pay attention to your body’s signals. What most people do is like, well, this’ll be an easy way to eat till enough, I’ll just serve myself what I think I should be able to eat and be right there. Here’s the rebound problem that that creates. That will work in the short run, you’ll lose 20, 30 pounds, then you’ll stall. And you’ll need to cut your food again because that’s the only thing that worked the first time. But then you never address the thoughts of this won’t be enough food. And what ends up happening is if you overeat significantly now like I used to, I could tell because I ate a linebacker.
I was not a binge eater and stuff, but I ate a healthy volume of food, and I ate until my plate was clean no matter how much they would serve me. It was easy to cut back and not think I wasn’t going to get enough food. Well, eventually if you just keep doing that, you going to find a point where you’re going to be triggered to think I’m not going to get enough food. You got to work on that stuff in the beginning. Otherwise that’s why people stall out eventually and plateau. It isn’t because they need to eat very little to lose weight, it’s because they never dialed into their body cues. They just kept relying on these hacks to eat a little less to do the job for them.
Let’s see. My fear is if I join, will I be able to do the modules and keep up with work and life? All right, so this is a common fear. Most diets we’ve ever done require you to give up your life in order to diet. I want y’all to think about this. It’s like every diet I ever used to do, it was endless counting of calories. I had to really think about the foods. I had to try to remember if I was eating the right stuff or not. Was I being good or bad? There was a ton of mental energy that went into it, a lot of thinking, a lot of stuff. Most diets never gave me any videos to watch that made any fucking sense. They just kind of told me what to do.
And then my brain was just lit up all day long thinking about it, worrying about it, thinking about the next meal, worrying what I should eat in this meal, and will it impact that meal. It felt like it took over my life. And it did. I didn’t even have an opportunity to think about my jobs or anything. I felt like I was squeezing my life into my diet. I don’t do it that way. Here’s how I designed all of No BS. The way you lose weight should be built around your life. You should be creating a way to lose your weight that enhances your life, that makes your life better, that it is designed to fit the life you want for yourself. And in terms of the modules, I keep them 10 minutes and under. Literally.
There’s no schedule. When you join, it’s not like I’m like, hey, Missy, I notice it’s day 16 and you’re behind. Ain’t nobody coming in like a fucking shrill and going to get your ass because you ain’t on some certain timeline, you know what the best timeline is? You listen to the modules, you listen to one and you let it percolate and you think about it and you watch yourself try to do it, and you get better at whatever that module taught and then you move to the next one. We have everything streamlined, and I give it to you in a way where you just watch one, two, three. You just keep going in order. You even get a check box so that you know you fucking watched it. So if you have to take a break for three or four days because you’re doing life, guess what? When you come back, it’ll tell you exactly where you left off.
So you don’t have to try to figure out where am I at in all this? But the main thing is y’all the modules, what they do, the lessons of No BS, the calls. Even when you’re listening to this, ask yourself, well, here I am figuring out how to listen to this and ask a question. Did my life stop? Did I not have time to do my life? No, you had a thought like, I want to hear what she has to say today. This is probably going to change something for me. You just carry that same thought inside and then you take nuggets as you go along. We just guide you in a systematic way. But for all of you that are sitting there, please don’t bring to my program your idea that this is going to take over your life. That’s what your other diets did. This is not a diet. We are learning how to lose weight, which is very different from just dieting.
Even when I’m full, I can’t stop eating. I even ask myself, am I full? And I still can’t stop. Then I feel like rubbish. This is also really common. This is one of the things that we are actually getting ready to release this brand new, we’re updating our entire module on urges. And it’s a common phenomenon to be eating. And when you have for a long time done diet and you’ve not been able to give your body enough food, it very often freaks out when you’re going to stop at enough. It associates stopping at physically enough where there’s no deprivation, there’s no restriction happening, there’s no putting your body in harm’s way with diets that thrived with restriction, deprivation, not allowing you to eat when your body needed it.
So for example, I know a lot of you have done diets like Weight Watchers and Slimming World over in Europe, and they seem like they make sense. A lot of people will defend them and stuff, that’s fine, but they give you points, just like any calorie counting thing, they give you food, right? Let’s just imagine that at lunch you just have a day where you overeat and you blow your points and whatnot. It’s dinner and you are out of calories or points, but your stomach is growling. Your stomach is saying, I don’t care that you overate at lunch, I’m just letting you know that we still need food. And our diets tell us, ignore that bitch, you want to be thin. She’s wrong. You can only have this many calories, this many points.
When you do enough of those diets, what ends up happening is that you keep traumatizing your body. Your body starts getting freaked out that at any time you’re trying to lose weight and it knows your patterns. Even if you’re not doing Weight Watchers, even if you’re not doing that, you’re doing my stuff, which is starkly different. Your body still thinks that when you have an effort to lose weight somehow it’s fixing to get punished. It’s fixing to get denied what it actually needs to survive. And so it’s having what we call that rebound effect. So you’re trying to stop at enough and your brain freaks out. Your brain and your body are like, that won’t be enough. You should keep eating. Let’s start tomorrow. It’ll have a lot of things that it will convince you, and for some of you, it will feel super urgent.
It won’t just be some sexy talk of like, you can start tomorrow, girl, this’ll be great. Whoa, whoa. It won’t even feel good. It’ll feel like you’ll starve later, because it’s remembering all the times it actually did starve. It remembers all the times it actually didn’t get what it physically needed. Here’s the answer, is number one, is to just know that it’s normal. You don’t have to beat yourself up over it. You don’t have to feel bad about it. Sometimes just being aware of that stuff provides relief. Like there’s a reason why this is happening. It’s not because I can’t lose weight, and it’s not because I’m broken. It’s simply because I have years of trauma that have to get unwound.
The second thing to do is when you eat your meals is before you even go in, is to remind yourself, I’m probably going to have a desire to eat more than enough. You want to go into the meal ahead of time calling your shot of saying, just for this meal I’m going to stop at what I think is enough for me to not freak out. Because this is what I see most often. It’s like I either have to stop at exactly enough and do it perfectly, or fuck, I just got to eat all of it. And I teach my members, let’s get better at the gray. Let’s get better at meeting ourselves where we’re currently at, getting some wins. And then when we get wins, where we’re currently at has changed. And then we can get more wins by meeting ourselves where we’re at at the new stage.
So if you’re having what you think might be that traumatic response, you go into the mill and you’re like, all right, maybe your goal, first level to lose weight is you eat until full, but not buckling. That’s what I did. I had so much food trauma from being really poor when I was growing up. I was taught to eat all you can, because like for me, we didn’t get to eat all the time. There were times we just didn’t have money for food. So when we ate, we ate a lot. And I grew up with that. And then even when I could afford the food, even though there was something so compulsive on the inside of me that said, no, you need to eat past full, that triggered a feeling of safety in me. And until I figured that out and I started telling myself we’re no longer starving, we have plenty of meals coming. Had to do a lot of figuring out why did I feel so panicky first, and then what was I going to tell myself about it ahead of time?
Because I knew, and this is what we’re going to talk about in tomorrow’s class, for all of my No BS members, I knew how I would normally automatically respond every single time. And instead of trying to just do it perfectly every time and beating myself up against the wall, I anticipated what was going to happen and I tried to figure out what were going to be the micro changes, because the micro changes allowed me to become someone else, so that that new version of me who ate a little bit different, who felt a little bit safer, who felt like he was getting just enough food, could then make more micro changes in the right direction.
Let’s see. Let me make sure I know what time it is. Okay. I’m down 60 pounds using the free course and podcast. I find myself struggling with how much food I should be eating at this size. Lunch especially seems to be my difficult meal. I feel like lunch is my biggest meal, but doesn’t need to be. Can you suggest a way to adjust the amount I eat? Is it just trial and error? It is trial and error. Simple as that. You’re just going to have to be willing to try to eat a little differently to see what clicks for you. That is the hardest part of, I think losing weight, is this how flexible we are. So many of us just want to be told. Now, if you’re on a stall and plateau, if you want to join No BS, we actually have, a lot of times what happens here is you may be on a weight loss stall or plateau or you’re stalled in what to do next.
We have a whole course on stalls and plateaus and how to overcome them. So you’re welcome to join and you can take the No BS weight loss course, which will fill in a lot of the gaps, is probably causing this uncertainty, this I’m stuck eating the same amount in lunch. It’ll block some of that stuff, but then you could follow it up with our stalls and plateaus course. I’m asking if I’m hungry, but if I smell food other people are cooking at home or work, my brain says I’m hungry too. How can I know if that’s true? It can happen 10 minutes after I know I’ve had enough. Well, I think you probably already know. Let’s just use our logical brain. So remember in the very beginning I talked about there’s your logical brain and your habit brain. Your habit brain right now is running the show of, I don’t know, that smells good. I kind of doubt, all those things.
But let’s think about your logical brain. If your logical brain was just watching you and said, huh, you just ate. You had enough. You smell food and your stomach is kicking up juices, do you think you’re hungry? Or do you think your nose is just having a reaction to smelling food? It’s just like a lot of restaurant companies, especially Burger King, a lot of barbecue places and stuff, they purposely make sure that the smell of the food, they have smoke pipes designed a certain way to emit their aromas in neighborhoods so that you get triggered to want to eat them, even if you’re hungry or not. It’s just a hack. It’s a good way to get sales. So just because your stomach is asking for food, this is why I tell you to ask, am I truly hungry? Get into your body and notice, are my hunger signals different when I’ve been activated by a smell versus when I’m actually physically hungry?
Very often they’ll be a little bit different. They won’t be the same. And if nothing else fails, you use your logical brain. This is when you stop and you think, okay, when’s the last time did I eat? Did I have enough? Does reason tell me I may not need food right now? I may just be having faux hunger signals because something smells good and that’s normal. Can past traumas cause someone to keep overeating? For sure. Yeah. That’s legit. We have people inside of our membership who do. I would encourage you that if you’ve had past big traumas like being taken advantage of as a child, anything like that, that you do therapy. But very often the overeating is a way to create a safety. It’s a way to disassociate from reliving that experience.
And for some people, even if they’re not actively reliving the experience, anytime they feel the same emotions that they felt like if they were scared, terror, shame, whenever they feel those emotions around, just maybe you make a mistake at work or something, it can cause you to want to overeat because you’re trying to escape an emotion that is attached to a traumatic event. Somebody asked, remind us of the four basics. Irma, I would recommend that you take my free course first. Go to nobsfreecourse.com. Sign up for that. I cover a couple of the basics in detail there, and then that will get you in touch with my podcast. I have got plenty of podcasts on the four basics inside my podcast.
Let’s do one more. I’m on all these darn cardiac prescription drugs. First of all, I wouldn’t say darn, you’re already building anxiety around them. I would say I’m on cardiac prescription drugs. Hell I’d be grateful that we live in a day and age as you can take them. Imagine if it was like 70 years ago, you’d be screwed. I have to take them in the morning. I’m not hungry in the morning. That’s okay, just because you’re not hungry, so we call this practical eating. I don’t talk about it in the podcast. I’ve been talking about it inside the membership lately. But there is our actual, we’re going to do the four basics. This is our reasonable eating. This is where we dial into our body. We reason with ourselves. We really figure out are we actually hungry. And then we have what’s called practical eating.
Practical eating is like, I need to eat toast and a little yogurt with my drugs or whatever. Practical eating is, I work a 12 and I only get to eat lunch at a certain time. If I don’t eat then I will be starving. Practical eating is we eat when we have lunch. Today was a practical eating day for me. I have this call and then I got calls all the way until about 2:30 today. It was either eat when I’m not hungry before this call, or wait until 2:30 when I know well hunger would be hitting me about at least 10 or 11. Well, I don’t want to do all my meetings and stuff butt ass hungry. I’m protecting my future self. I was never overweight because I did practical eating, because I thought it through and knew now’s a good time to eat and then you’ll be fine until three o’clock.
That was never the conversation I had. It was always like, I better eat something just in case I get hungry. And then I would get to my normal mealtime, wouldn’t be hungry and I’d eat then anyway. If I ever had a problem, that was the problem. You can do some practical eating. All right, if you want to join No BS so that you can get the details of this class, where you can come and you can learn what to do when your brain just keeps thinking bullshit and my three key phrases that I use, go to joinnobs.com. Join right now. You can take the class tomorrow at 9:00 AM Central Time live, where you can ask questions or you can wait for the replay. And then you can listen to it in your private member podcast or in the video replays on Friday where that call will drop.
And if you have questions, you’ll be able to use our private member feature called Ask Coaches, where all my weight loss coaches will be answering questions on anything that I teach. And you’ll have access to our private Facebook group where you can ask questions there, where people who have lost lots of weight, who have been in the program a while and newbies like you are all there talking every single day, supporting each other, helping each other, and making sure everybody has the accountability to lose weight. And if you don’t want to join and you’re brand new to me, then I would suggest you take the free course first. You can go to nobsfreecourse.com.
Once you take the free course, you’ll be on my mailing list. You’ll never miss this call. You’ll get reminders about the podcast when it drops, my free public podcast. Plus you’ll get access to all of my social channels. And the last thing that you’ll get is a Monday motivation from me, where I send an email with a little motivation, a little kick in the ass to keep you going. All right, y’all have a good one. Bye y’all.