April 15, 2022

Episode 263: How To Make a Decision

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Making a decision can bring up a lot of crap. It can feel overwhelming because you have a load of options and bring on a ton of fear you’ll choose the wrong thing.

Without the ability to sort through your fears, worries, and perfectionistic tendencies, you’ll find yourself stuck in indecision and feeling like shit.

The last thing I want for you is a lot of worry and stress while you’re trying to lose weight listening to the podcast.

So, I recorded a podcast that makes any decision you need to make a little easier on you. You’ll learn the same 3-step process I use to make rock-solid decisions while also acknowledging my biggest fears.

You’ll want to take notes while listening. I give you key questions to answer that’ll help you feel confident you thought things through and made a decision you can believe in.

Don’t wait – Listen to Episode 263: How to Make a Decision right now.

And, don’t forget to screenshot and share this episode on your social media if it’s helpful. You have no idea how much it means to me when you share the Losing 100lbs Podcast.

Transcript

Corinne:

Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class, and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:

Welcome back everybody. So today we are going to take you through process that I actually ended up creating on the fly not too long ago, I’ve been having to make a lot of decisions in my life. And one of the things that I found was that time and time again, I was asking very similar questions. I was kind of running through a process. And I thought this would be really great to teach people. So I taught it not too long ago when we were in the middle of opening the No BS doors to new women. And on the last day, I thought I’m just going to teach them how to make a decision. Most of us are not taught how to make a decision. We are taught to anguish, to worry, to fret, to worst case scenario. We are taught a lot of things about decisions.

Kathy:

Hey now. Who are we talking about here?

Corinne:

I;m talking about people in general.

Kathy:

Oh okay.

Corinne:

Just because you self-identify as one of those people doesn’t mean I’m talking straight to you, [crosstalk 00:01:36].

Kathy:

I don’t know that I was ever taught to do that stuff. I think I just do it naturally. It’s one of my gifts.

Corinne:

There’s a thought, it’s a gift. But I wouldn’t even say that. I literally do think that this is kind of like what most people do.

Kathy:

It is.

Corinne:

And it’s something for all of you not to feel shame about or to feel like somehow you missed a lesson in life or something’s going wrong. It doesn’t matter if you’ve never really been taught how to make decisions. This is the other thing, it’s not even just about people who anguish and fear and worry. This was me. So like Kathy and I are always opposite ends of the spectrum on things, like seriously.

Kathy:

Yes.

Corinne:

I don’t know. It’s so funny to me because you and I have always gotten along and we are so opposite. And I know we fight like sister, well, I’m probably like the big bossy sister. I had never had a sister, but I imagine you and I have like a sister relationship where like one is like, this is the way we’re doing it. And then the other one’s like, okay. [crosstalk 00:02:51].

Kathy:

You just described our relationship perfectly.

Corinne:

Yeah, I know. And on the inside, you’re just like, she sucks. She never listens to me.

Kathy:

It’s funny. I have always been drawn to people with stronger personalities. I think it’s just that they’re okay with me. We do have a great relationship because you do give me the space to have an opinion when I want to share one. It’s just that I don’t have opinions coming out of me all the time.

Corinne:

Unlike me.

Kathy:

Like you.

Corinne:

I have enough opinions for both of us.

Kathy:

I mean, it’s interesting. [crosstalk 00:03:14].

Corinne:

Go ahead.

Kathy:

I was just going to say, to me, it’s okay.

Corinne:

Oh yeah.

Kathy:

I don’t know. I’m, like we’ve established, I’m pretty calm. I’m pretty laid back. I’m pretty accepting. I just pretty much go with the flow. If there’s something that bugs me, I speak up if I think I need to. That’s all.

Corinne:

And she does, y’all.

Kathy:

And I do.

Corinne:

She definitely does. We’re just going to have to get off on a tangent. Sometimes we get feedback from some of the listeners, like I boss you around, I’m not nice to you, all this other stuff. And Kathy and I have talked about this before. And I think what makes our dynamic very unique and special is, and you tell me if I’m wrong, but for a long time, I have pushed you to do things I know you can do, that you didn’t know, you could do at the time though. And it can come across like Corinne’s just telling her what to do. And people see the side of you where you’re super uncomfortable, but it’s because it’s something that you might not have thought about doing on your own without me saying, “Get over your bullshit, you totally can do this.”

Corinne:

I feel like if we were sisters, I would be the older sister, the one that’s always telling the younger sister get over your shit, I know you can do this. Like you got this, that kind of stuff. And I think that’s always been more … I don’t think people notice that our relationship is not so much we’re so polar opposite that we clash, I think it’s more of like I really believe in you. You’ve been working for me for a while now. And I have, if y’all don’t know, I have moved Kathy around in my organization. She’s like checkers at Cracker Barrel, getting like jumped and moved. But she’s the one going down to get kinged, like she’s coming back.

Corinne:

I’ve just always seen like a bigger picture for her. And Kathy will tell you, when she first started being friends with me, Kathy did not have vision for herself. Like she did not dream, she did not think about things. And she does now. And I think a lot of times what y’all are witnessing is like me seeing Kathy in this Boulder version of herself. Not trying to change Kathy, but like … And when I say bolder, I don’t mean you got to start cussing and be like me, but I mean like taking what you’re good at and letting the whole world see it, and not just you keeping it to yourself. And I think that that’s probably the biggest transition outside of you dropping 80 pounds that has happened since we’ve been together and stuff.

Kathy:

I think it’s important for someone like me who is very … I have my own brain and I have my own opinions. I can be easily led. And that’s a good thing, because if you match me up with a best friend just like me, we’re going to sit around and worry all the time. We’re going to sit around and disaster plan all the time. There’s not going to be somebody who’s figuratively knocking me upside the head going get out of your own bullshit and get to work. And that’s what you do for me. You’re that person that can knock me off dead center and straighten my path again. And think that’s why I’m drawn to your type of personality, honestly.

Corinne:

Yeah, because [crosstalk 00:07:24].

Kathy:

That’s a need in my own life.

Corinne:

I was going to say, I’m not the only friend that Kathy has that likes to take the lead with Kathy.

Kathy:

Yeah, and that’s fine. That’s the kind of person that I’ve always been drawn to. So anyway.

Corinne:

Well, and I think for me, one of the things that people see is for you and what you do for me is they see me getting frustrated often, but Kathy is very slow to change things. Because we’re talking about decision making today. She and I are on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Kathy’s famous statement is, “Well, I’m going to marinate on that.” And I’m like, what are you? Like a tough side of beef that needs a beer bath before you’re ready to cook? I don’t want to marinate at all. I am just like give me the options and whatever my gut says, let’s go and we’ll figure out if it works on the other end.

Corinne:

And so we attack things literally from two very different perspectives. But what Kathy, what a lot of people think, is that I get frustrated with Kathy all the time. And while I get frustrated, it’s because I’m sitting there and I’m thinking about why would she want to move slow on this? Like what’s going on? And often she and I get a lot of decisions made in a much better way because we’re coming at it from two angles. I argue, I think this is just best. She argues here’s all the problems. And then out of those two things, while she’s looking like, I can’t believe that you’re wanting to move so fast. And I’m like, I can’t believe you want to move so slow. A lot of good decisions come out of that.

Kathy:

Yeah. And how many times have you called me up and said, “Here’s what I want to do. It’s my decision. Tell me what can go wrong.” I mean, that’s how you leverage that gift of mine. I did the Enneagram with my own coach and I’m, I think it’s a six, I think is the number. It’s the loyalist, which is everything you just described. When I’m in, I am all in for the mission. I am all in on Corinne, I’m all in supporting these women, I’m all in. I’m very, very loyal. But at the same time, I am slow to make a decision sometimes because I want to make sure I have thought about everything that can happen. That ripple effect, we’ve talked about that before. So having this framework actually helps me manage my ponderings and marinating about the ripple effect. So I think this framework works beautifully for me. When I heard you speak it I was like writing it down. I was taking it all in, like this is what I need.

Corinne:

Yeah. I was sitting there thinking about when we were in the middle of our challenge and there were so many women who, and I get it, good Lord. When you have failed diet after diet, after diet, it becomes a really hard decision. Am I going to try again? Even though most of us know in our gut like, well fuck yeah, I’m going to try again. If I’m 47 years old and I’ve been trying all my life, just because I’m scared this time doesn’t mean that in two weeks, I ain’t going to find something on the internet where I’m going to be like, Ooh, let me try that. But I just watched so many of them anguish and I started thinking about, well, how is it that I’ve been making decisions? And what is my process itself?

Corinne:

Because I feel like I am a great decision maker these days. I know when to go with my intuition. I also know when to slow down and think. I know when I am at a loss. I’m like, I don’t really know what the best decision is, but I need to make one. And what I used to do is, and this is what I was talking about earlier, so people are either like Kathy, where it’s like you’re slower to make the decisions. Sometimes you uncover that you just have a lot of fear, that you have a lot of worry you’re going to do it wrong. And that’s what’s slowing you down. And then there’s other people who’ve been more like me in the past where even though I can make a quick decision, I can make one to my own detriment, where I just want the relief of knowing a decision is made, whether it’s a good one or not.

Corinne:

It’s like I just don’t even want to think about it. I just want to just start going. And both sides work at times, but what we really want to do is find that middle lane. So this is the decision making process that I taught all of them. And I wanted to put it into the podcast because I know a lot of you are going to take the free course and have an opportunity to join No BS. And it is going to be one of the scary decisions for you because your brain is going to go to everything that you’ve failed in the past, everything that could go wrong. And your lack of like good self-esteem when it comes to losing weight takes over. So I want to give you this so that you can use it to decide if you want to be an BS woman, if you ever get an invitation, when we have openings and stuff.

Corinne:

And I just think it’ll be helpful and you don’t have to just use this for weight loss. This is the decision making framework that I use in my business. I did this to the other day. We’re getting ready to build a new house. We just have outgrown this one. We love this house, but literally if you come to our house, we have like my office, my husband’s office, we have a filming studio. We don’t even have a dining room anymore. Like we can’t eat at a table. We don’t own one anymore because we had to convert so much of our house to just … This is basically the No BS headquarters, like it or leave it, this is it. And we wanted to have a house where Logan could have a legit bedroom, where his office doesn’t have to be in there as he works for us. We wanted to have a house that had way more filming capabilities for all of our No BS women so that I can bring Kathy over again and we can podcast together.

Corinne:

We have to do it through video conferencing now, and we want to be able to have that. I want y’all to be able to watch videos of me and Kathy just hanging out and podcasting, because I think it’ll be able to be a much richer experience. We just have so many things that we’re going to do by building out a dedicated filming space that we can do for No BS. But my family needs space. If my mother wants to come visit me and from Florida, she can’t even stay with me. We don’t even have a guest bed. And we don’t have anywhere for her to sleep. And so we have decided we’re going to build a house. And I had to go through this because Corinne just, that’s one of the decisions that’s hard for me in terms of like this long term commitment and all this other stuff. And building a house is fucking no joke. Like I was …

Kathy:

It’s a lot of decisions you’re going to be pulling out this framework a a lot.

Corinne:

So many. Like good God, it’s already been so many. And it’s a long process. But you know me, Kathy, I’m about as patient as a flea. Like I am just not very patient. And to know that we’re going to spend a year making all these decisions and stuff, I had to go through this process.

Kathy:

You’re going to have to just really focus on how good it’s going to feel a year from now to have the things that you’re building into this house. And not just the business, and this isn’t really part of the framework, but maybe it should be, thinking about that person in a year who moves into this house where she actually has a personal retreat that’s not just her bedroom.

Corinne:

Yeah.

Kathy:

There isn’t a room in that house that you live in right now that you don’t work in.

Corinne:

Yeah. [crosstalk 00:15:25].

Kathy:

Yeah. And in order to continue your healthy relationship with your business and with your family, you have to have different spaces for that.

Corinne:

Yeah.

Kathy:

So thinking about all the amazing things that are going to be available to you in a year, hopefully will get you through the year.

Corinne:

Oh it will. And it is part of the process. It’s the step three. Or step two, maybe it’s step two. But it is important because I will tell you the most important thing about this house, other than finally getting a studio where we can film, I just have so many ideas for videos and filming that I want to do for the No BS members in terms of like giving them more of a sneak peek inside of our lives and being able to … I just know that one of the things for weight loss is it’s got to be interesting. And so we are just willing to turn the bottom level of our entire house into basically filming studios. And Chris will get a legit office finally. He’s got a real tiny one right now. And he does all of our video editing, our sound editing.

Corinne:

He does a lot of things for our business and he’ll have a dedicated space to be able to do all that. And a place where he can chill out. Chris has no privacy in this house. I mean, hardly any of us do, but he really doesn’t. And he loves to play guitar and he likes to just do his guitar by himself. And he’s not trying to be like a rock star, but for him to be able to have just a place in the basement where he can hang out and chill out stuff is meaningful. And for my mother to have a spot. It kills me that my mother can’t even spend the night with me. And she’s getting older and she’s going to, we are building a room on the first floor so that whether my mother or his father or his mother ever needed to live with us, that they have a space where they absolutely could.

Corinne:

We’re designing the shower handicapped style for all of that. I just means a lot to me, like not only to take care of my No BS women, but you know me, I’m very purpose driven. I’m always thinking about my purpose. And the two main drivers for me is always No BS women and caring for my family, whatever I can do to make sure that I’m the caretaker of our family. I like having like the matriarch of all of us, including my mother and everyone. One of my gifts I think, is taking care of people. I think you have the same gift, just in a different way. I think you take care of people by caring for them. And I think I take care of people by leading and charting the course we’re going on and making sure everything’s done for all of us.

Corinne:

Anyway, I’m excited about it. All right, let’s get to decision making stuff, or we’re just going to sit around and talk about our lives. Number one, you have to first face the fears of your decision, which means that we are going to write all of our knee jerk, bullshit thoughts that we have about it. So the important part of step one is just to write it out. Don’t censor yourself. Don’t sit there and think that like if I know I think these things, something bad will happen. If they’re lurking under the surface, then they’re already making you scared. They’re already giving you hesitation. They’re already causing you to procrastinate. They’re already spinning around and doing bullshitty things to you. The best thing that you can do for yourself is to understand what your fears are and to allow yourself to pour it out on paper so that you can take a look at them and always remember these things.

Corinne:

None of those thoughts make you a bad person. None of those thoughts are broken. None of them are crazy of you to think. None of that. We’re not going to judge them. We’re just going to be in a space of like, these are just my fears, and they’re very normal. Any normal human will have fear around any kind of big decision, or medium decision, even small decisions. A lot of us have a lot of fear around small decisions. So what you want to do is you just basically want to let your brain talk it out on paper. We just don’t want to ignore it. And if you will allow yourself to have your say on paper, then you don’t have to let the say be inside your body. When it’s only inside your body, then you feel terrible. And we tend to react by eating or delaying making a decision.

Corinne:

So here are two powerful questions that you need to just write about. Just answer these. What am I afraid of in making this decision? And what worries me about making this decision? And you just write. You just give yourself some time. We always tell our No BS women that sometimes it’s a little hard to get the pump primed. So you just get out a piece of paper and you write the questions on there. And if you really have to just start writing with a to-do list or a blah, blah, blah, or what you would call not deep enough thoughts, do that. But don’t stop writing. Set a timer for five minutes and agree with yourself, I will sit here with this pen on this piece of paper for five minutes. When you write just a few things, what happens is your brain, like it’ll write a little bit more and then it lets its guard down and it will probably start pouring out what’s really in there.

Corinne:

So don’t get too hosed up.If in the beginning it seems like you don’t know what to write. Then this is what I would write down. I don’t know what to write. This question’s really hard. I seem to be stumped. If I was going to guess what’s worrying me, it might be this. Even writing that will give you some indication of something. It will bypass, like sometimes our brain just needs to write down I don’t even know what’s worrying me. Like it just needs to whine on paper a little. It’s better to do that than to just throw your hands up in the air as if you can’t write anything. Do you want to add anything to that one before we move on?

Kathy:

I do. Don’t kid yourself and think I don’t need to answer this because I already know.

Corinne:

Yeah.

Kathy:

Because what you know is what is consciously in your brain, what you’re thinking. If you write that down, it tends to lead to something else, to something else, to something else. And you end up on the paper going, holy cow, where’d that come from?

Corinne:

Right. I didn’t even know I was thinking that.

Kathy:

Exactly. Don’t think you already know because there’s probably something else. That’s the trick that Kathy falls into. I don’t need to journal today, I already know what I’m thinking. No.

Corinne:

Right. This is what I always remind myself, Corinne, you don’t know dick until you’ve written it down. It’s like, just write it down. All right, step two is called giving equal air time to the other side of the story. So what this means is that we’ve let our brain whine and moan and be scared and anything it needed to say, we’ve done that. And then like Kathy was saying, even when you you think you know all the things, you get all that out. Then you want to give equal air time to the other side of the story, which there’s always another side of the story. Our patterns as women especially, is to only focus on the fear side, like what can go wrong? What probably won’t happen, how I’m going to fuck this up, how this decision will fuck up my life. We tend to just like live in that land. And then under why it’s hard to make a decision that we know we need to make if we’re only focused on the scary side.

Corinne:

So we want to just start learning how to open up in our brains to what is possible. What could happen if this decision worked out for us? So here are some questions to answer. What’s possible for me if I do this thing? What good might come of this decision? What could I be thinking and feeling in three months when I’ve done this? So it’s kind of going back to the question Kathy was talking about with my house. I would answer this question of, what will life look like in a year from now when all these decisions have already been made? Allowing myself to see this is the hard part, making the decisions. But once these decisions are made, there’s this other side. Not just thinking about like it’s such a grind and what if I pick the wrong things and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So it’s really important that we do the equal air time. Always remember, your brain’s default will be the negative.

Corinne:

That is the way it’s supposed to work. Do not sit there and think something’s wrong with you that you don’t go to possibility and amazing thoughts and the hope and the waha haha of everything. When you’re making major decisions, you want your brain to throw caution first. That is your brain’s way of saying, “Let’s just make sure. I want to keep you safe. I want you processing through everything.” Otherwise, we’d all be just playing in the streets, eating whatever we want all the time. We’d take drugs. We would just always be doing shit without thinking. This is just our brain’s way of making sure that we’re thinking. But our brain tends to get stuck in the negative. And it forgets that we need to see the other side of things. So you want to just make sure you give equal air time to the positive of the positive outcome. So here’s what I’m afraid of, step one. Step two is here are the positive possibilities that could come from this decision so now I have both in my brain. Anything you want to add on this one?

Kathy:

Yeah. Step one is going to be your automatic response.

Corinne:

Yeah.

Kathy:

Here’s all things that are going to go wrong. Step two is going to be you being creative with possibility. And it takes a direction to give yourself intentionality to do that. One of my favorite questions is what else could this mean? What else could happen? So it allows me to accept the fact that I’ve already disaster planned the heck out of this situation. What else can I think about it now? So it gives me that ability to say, all right, we’ve got this part covered now let’s take care of the other part.

Corinne:

I think the other thing I do want to add is we have a few outliers of people who may only ever see the good, like when you have new idea. So let me show you how this happens a lot in our world. My team is full of creative people. Like we have a ton of creatives. And they come busting in the door like the Kool-Aid man with their great idea. They’re like, oh my God, all the amazing things that’s going to happen and blah, blah, blah. And I used to be this person. And I’ve learned to not be this person. And you just look at them and you can tell they haven’t thought about what could go wrong. So every now and then when you’re overly hyped up about a decision and it just feels right, I’m not saying that your intuition’s wrong.

Corinne:

But when you’re making big decisions, like when we do inside of our business, if we’re going to make a change or we’re going to do something, Kathy knows my famous question. All right. That sounds good. Now tell me what that’s going to break. Tell me what problem will that cause. And that is something that if you are super excited about an idea, it’s always a great question to ask yourself. It’s like, all right, this may be a great idea, but I at least want to know what problems doing this also could cause are also might cause, just to make sure that the unintended problems that it creates is still worth moving ahead. Which this is kind of the same thing where we’re like, we’re looking at our fears first. We want to look at the equal air time. And it allows you to say, oh, the possibilities outweigh the fear.

Corinne:

Or you may look at it and be like, you know what? There’s not enough possibility. Maybe my fears are very warranted. Maybe this is my pause. But it’s just thinking about all we’re doing is getting you to consciously filter everything through rather than just emotionally saying yes or emotionally saying no. Not just only going by what your emotions are telling you, to really go through it and be like, okay, I want to make a decision because I’ve thought about a lot of things and this feels right. Or it feels doable, or it feels worth it. I think worth is a really good one.

Kathy:

Yeah. I think this also helps you stop making reactive decisions. I got to fix this one thing real quick. And make a more proactive approach to whatever you’re trying to fix. So the team that I lead is very creative. They’ve got all the ideas. And just yesterday, they were giving me an idea and I said, “okay, this is a good idea. Now let’s think about this.” Like you said, is this going to create any problems for us? But if we say yes to this, what do we need to say no to in order to make sure our bandwidth is taken care of? So it’s processing those kinds of things. And you can do the flip side. If we say no to doing this, what does that mean we’re going to have to do in the background or later on? So just asking yourself these questions is so good. But make sure you’re answering them as well.

Corinne:

Yeah. And it’s just like, even for moms and stuff, this really helps you start thinking about prioritizing. I remember back in the day when Logan was in school, I often got hung up in saying yes to doing things for the classroom or doing things at the school. And I was saying no to growing my business. And I eventually started realizing I was saying yes to please people. I was saying no to my future clients. I was saying no to bring my husband home from a corporate job and a commute where he could work on a fulfilling purpose. And I started thinking like, oh shit, I don’t want to bake those cookies anymore. I don’t want to do these little things. I don’t want to drive on school field trips. And so it just helps you put some stuff through some filters where you can just start making better and better well thought out decisions for yourself.

Corinne:

The third thing is now we’re going to ask questions that get to the root of our deepest desires. So we have basically weighed pros and cons. We’ve looked at the fears, we’ve looked at the possibilities. And now we want to like really think about some deeper rooted questions. The first one is, am I willing to miss out on this potential life that I could have if I do or don’t do this thing just because I’m afraid? It’s a very powerful question because what happens is you might see that you’re willing to say yes or say no to something, even if you’re scared. So you just really want to be thinking about your decision, and just thinking like this could create this life. It’s natural that I’m scared. Am I willing to give up that life just to make sure that I don’t have to face my fears, just because I don’t want to do something and scary?

Corinne:

Very often what we think is that we need confidence first. This decision making process is to give you confidence, not that the decision you’re making is the right decision. It’s to give you confidence that it’s worth going after whether it works out or not. Like we’re really trying to help you find confidence that you’re willing to choose this because you thought it out and you’re willing to see what happens. The second question is, am I likely to regret not doing this and why? And a lot of us will find that our regret, we don’t really think about will we regret our decision. I nowadays, before I say yes to things, I have been asking … Because I noticed in the last probably about eight months, I have said yes to way too many things. And I am spending a good portion of my weeks regretting my decisions. I’m still going to show up. I am the kind of person that’s like once I commit, I finish. That is just who I am.

Corinne:

And I know that I could choose not to regret, but one of the things that I’ve learned is I actually want to regret some to teach myself a lesson. What I want to learn from my regrets is how to make better commitments in the future for myself. And one of them is asking myself, am I likely to regret having to do this when the time comes? If the answer is yes, now is the time to say no. Not to be saying no to my happiness later because I’m doing something I never really wanted to do. Because I don’t want to tell my happiness no. I would much rather tell somebody else no and it be uncomfortable and maybe they be a little disappointed. But me regretting is no longer an option. So I’m really trying to figure out ways to think about I don’t want to show up for things I’m going to regret. And I also don’t want to be looking back in six months and wishing I had done something, and regretting that I didn’t say yes simply because I was scared or afraid.

Corinne:

So asking yourself am I likely to regret not doing this and why, or am I likely to regret doing this and why? You can ask it either way, depending on the decision that you’re making. And the final question is what will my life be like if I don’t do this? So a lot of times we’re looking at things and we’re looking at it through our fears and all this other kind of stuff. And we want to really explore this thing of like, well, if I just don’t do it, what will life be like? Sometimes what we find is that we’re not better off sitting back and waiting for perfect times, or waiting for confidence, or waiting. We need to just go in with some doubt. We just need to go in with some fear. We just need to go in with whatever it is and see what will change for us.

Corinne:

Because a lot of times on the other side of decisions is the very life that we want, and we just need to make the decision to go after it. And that’s almost always scary. I think so much of it about decisions is most of the time when we’re making any kind of big decision, or even like some medium sized decisions, it’s just normal to be doubtful and scared. But we make that a reason to stop instead of a reason to just pause, question, and then get the confidence that it’s worth trying. It’s worth going after, even when we’re scared and even when we doubt. Anything you want to add to that part.

Kathy:

When I heard you speak about this a week or two ago is first time I heard you give this framework, I wrote that down. Fear and doubt don’t mean stop. And it’s because we’re spending time being very honest with ourselves about our fears and whether or not those fears need to be acted on. And we do that by giving the equal air time. That’s how we kind of talk to the fears. What else could be happening here? What good might come of? This is how we address the fear. So if you do this, the fear might still be there, but you’ve mitigated it with a balancing thought. And I also loved what you said about regret because I have often thought regret was useless. I need to do everything I can so that I don’t feel regret because that means I make the right decision the first time.

Kathy:

You know me, I’m very perfectionistic. It’s black and white. It’s either right or wrong. Okay, well that’s not true. Using regret as a learning opportunity is so key here. It’s not regretting and beating yourself up. I should have done this differently. I’m a terrible person. I didn’t make the right decision, whatever. It’s using that regret to say, “Okay, this didn’t go exactly. Like I was hoping it would. So what’s the next step?” It’s like looking forward rather than beating yourself up about the decision that you made.

Corinne:

Yeah. I love this little a framework. I’m glad I wrote it all out for myself because it’s something I’ve been doing for a while now. And I’ve just really seen myself, I think not only slow down some of my decision making, but I’ve noticed that I feel like when I come to a decision that I trust myself. It’s like I feel more solid with me. And I think that’s what, at the end of the day, what we really want with decisions. It’s not so much you want the right decision, you want to learn the skill of trusting yourself. Because if you trust yourself when you make the decision, if it doesn’t go the way you think, then you trust yourself to figure it out too.

Corinne:

And so this is just helping you build that skill of really learning how to be your own best advocate, to be your own best advisor, to be your own best guide. The more I can teach y’all about how to rely on you, the less you’re going to need the rest of the world to show up perfectly in order for you to get the things you want out of your own life.

Kathy:

For sure, that’s what you’ve taught me. 100%.

Corinne:

Yeah. Every day. Well, all right everybody. I hope y’all have a wonderful week. We will see you next week in the podcast. Please don’t forget to share the podcast, download the podcast, and subscribe the podcast. We love seeing y’all share our episodes on social media. Talk to you later.

Corinne:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts. Help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diets. I’ll see you next week.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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