Episode 255: How to Stop Thinking You Have To

Corinne:

Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bull shit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that, and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you are ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go.

Corinne:

Can you tell us why we are all gung ho at the beginning of the month and then two weeks in, just start to slack off? Yeah, your thoughts change. That’s it. Your thoughts that you have at the beginning change after two weeks. That is all that ever happens. In fact, one of the things that we’re going to talk about at camp is about this effect. Everybody’s always excited in the beginning because you have fresh new thoughts. A lot of it’s like, “This is my month. This is when it’s going to work. I got everything all set up.” There’s a lot of enthusiasm that goes around setting up stuff. If you’re running out of steam two weeks in, it’s because you’re not using the same thoughts you were using in the beginning.

Corinne:

When you fresh write a plan that first week and you’re like, “Ooh, I’ve made my plans. I’m so excited. Potential is in front of me,” that kind of stuff, you have to have that same thinking every single day. You can’t quit thinking planning is fun after day one. You have to think every day when you plan like, “Ooh, potential is ahead of me today. Planning is fun. I’m so glad I’m doing this.” Every single day you have to work the mindset. So the easiest way to do this is think about what you think about, when you start over at the beginning of the month, write those thoughts down and then challenge yourself, how do I use them the entire month? Why do I quit using them? What thoughts change? Most of you go to, “This isn’t as important. I’m tired of doing this.” You talk to yourself like that. And you all don’t think that that’s an option. You all just use some tired, exhausting bull shit thinking, and don’t redirect your mind.

Corinne:

If it feels boring, tiring or exhausting, those are feelings in the think, feel, do cycle. That ain’t your diet’s job to be excited, that’s your job. That means if you’ve got boring, dreadful, unexciting thoughts, level your shit up. I mean, most of you are going to have to tell yourself shit every single day on purpose because you’re just used to thinking you’re old, boring shit. You want to do better? You got to start thinking better. That’s the only way we do better. “I just don’t have any motivation to get going on a schedule again. I keep putting it off and now we are starting another month.” Yeah, because of your thinking. Quit waiting to be motivated. Tap into, am I willing? I may not be excited about it, but that’s because I got some shit thoughts like, “I probably won’t be able to do it. I can’t lose weight anyway. This shit sucks. I don’t know why she makes me do it. I don’t even think this journal shit even works. It didn’t work last month; I don’t know why the fuck I’d think it would work this month.”

Corinne:

You all talk like that and you think like that, and then you wonder why you have dread for the process and have a hard time getting excited. I ain’t no fairy. I’m not going to come to your house and sprinkle glitter all over you and be like, “Your excitement fairy for losing weight just arrived. You’re welcome.” That is not how it works. What I do is point out how you get in your way. Your job is to now come up with better thinking. Amy, you need to listen to yourself. What demotivating thoughts am I having and what am I willing to tell myself instead? Because if you’re willing to tell unmotivated shit, you need to be willing to tell yourself better stuff. You all quit acting like your old, shitty thoughts are a problem. They’re coming in. Incoming. Stop wishing them away. Quit being frustrated by them, or quit acting like you don’t have a choice in the matter. You do not have to keep thinking them. You need to find them, and then you need to come up with better thinking.

Corinne:

Let’s see. If you want to get on your schedule again, you’re probably having thoughts like, “It won’t work. It’s going to be hard. I have to do these things.” Ain’t nobody in this damn tribe got to do anything. I’m just telling all of you right now, none of you, every single one of you say this right now, “I don’t have to do a damn thing.” Every time I tell myself, “I’ll have to make a plan, I’ll have to give this up, I’ll have to feel this way,” that is some bull shit. It smells and you need to clean it up. You choose to. “Here’s what I choose to do: sit in my diaper, or, I choose to eat this because I want a better life for me.” Much better thinking. I get to. I choose to. Every one of you get out a piece of paper right now and write out… You don’t have to do it this exact second if you’re driving. But all of you should do this exercise: what are the things in my life that I tell myself I have to do?

Corinne:

It never feels good to say I have to. It always feels disempowering. It creates a sense that something outside of you forces you to do this. You don’t even have to take care of your kids. But some of you will say, “Well, I have to take care of my kids.” Look, I would never talk about my child that way. You know why? I love his ass. You know what I do? I choose to take care of my kid. I get to take care of my kid. I’m the best one equipped to take care of my kid. That’s empowered thinking and you all are going to have to check your ass and quit sitting around with your disempowered thinking and then being confused why you don’t feel any better. So make a list. Where are you telling yourself? Some horse shit that you have to do. Make your list. Then go to argue with either, “Oh wait, I don’t even have to do that. I just keep telling myself.” That just should be a no. I just need to grow a pair and start saying no.

Corinne:

But the rest of it, talk to yourself like you’re your own hero. Don’t talk to yourself like a jackass. So many of you will come to me like, “I just feel so exhausted and stressed out and overwhelmed by the end of the day.” Yeah, because you’re sitting around doing a lot of I have to thinking. “I don’t have a choice. I have to do this.” You always got a choice. This is the funny thing: a lot of times you will sit there and you have a choice, you just don’t want the repercussions of it. So don’t sit there and act like you don’t. I don’t have to take care of Logan, but you know what? I don’t want to go to jail either. So there’s no reason for me to sit there and say, “I have to take care of him.” I just don’t like the choice of not taking care of him and going to jail.

Corinne:

Just like you all say, “I have to go to work.” No you don’t. You just don’t want the repercussion of being homeless, sitting your ass out in the cold in the winter. Just tell the truth: “I don’t have to go; I choose to go. I really like a roof over my head.” Here’s the real truth: “I just don’t like the job. I tell myself a bunch of shit about the job.” There’s the real truth. But I no longer drag my ass there every day, telling myself I have to. That level of stressful exhaustion, gone. I’m not doing that to myself anymore. If you don’t like the job, then just be in that part of the shit, but don’t increase your shit by pissing all over it.

Corinne:

Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to nobsfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts, help you lose your weight without all the bull shit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.