Corinne Crabtree:
Hi, I’m Corinne. After a lifetime of obesity, being bullied for being the fattest kid in the class and losing and gaining weight like it was my job, I finally got my shit together, and I lost 100 pounds. Each week, I’ll teach you no bullshit weight loss advice you can use to overcome your battle with weight. I keep it simple. You’ll learn how to quit eating and thinking like an asshole. You stop that and weight loss becomes easy. My goal is to help you lose weight the way you want to live your life. If you’re ready to figure out weight loss, then let’s go. Hello everybody, this is Corinne, welcome back to the podcast. Today, we are doing our clubhouse, and we’re going to be talking to our audience and to you all about 2021 goals, where are you at on them? What happened? Typically what we’ve got if we have about three camps, what I believe happens when it comes to beginning of the year goals.
Corinne Crabtree:
Number one, we have the people who come out swinging. It’s January, I’m getting my together, time to go. They hit the ground running, first mistake and then that’s the end of that. The second group usually comes out very similarly. But when they hit the first mistake, they keep rolling through. They just keep rolling through, but they’re forcing themselves to keep rolling through. They’re telling themselves, “I have to, I should. If I don’t keep going through, I’m going to be miserable the rest of my life.” So they’re making the mistakes, but they’re making the fatal flaw of talking to themselves like a complete asshole hoping that that’s going to motivate them and keep them going in their weight loss. Eventually what happens is about a third of the way to maybe halfway through the year, they run out of steam. You can only shove yourself so long, slap yourself so long until you’re going to no longer tolerate your bullshit. You’re going to quit trying to lose weight to get away from the jerk that you are to yourself, which is something that we hose ourselves with all the time.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then we got to the third group. The third group are the people who start out much like the first. Most of us are always starting out with a big mix of nerves, excitement, motivation, goals, a little doubt, all the things. But the third group, what they do is about halfway through the year, they’ve made mistakes, they’ve encouraged themselves to keep going. They focus on who they want to be in the moment, they focus on where they’re going. And at the halfway point, they’re primed and ready to assess and figure out how to finish the year. So today what we want to do is I want to help all of you no matter which camp you’re in, I want to help you figure out how do you actually keep going? How do you arrive at the middle of the year with maybe group number one, the first people that start out excited but fizzle fast, how do you get to the middle of the year and not faint?
Corinne Crabtree:
I’ve wasted half of the year, I’ll probably fuck up the other half, so why bother? Here’s my one piece of advice. Y’all quit fucking waiting around for January one to change your life. If the only time that you actually get serious about doing anything for your life is on January one, you’re never going to change your life. That’s one opportunity you’re giving yourself a year. So we ain’t got to do that. July one can be the new January one. If you’re in group two, what I want to help you with. So you started out highly motivated, bag with mixed nerves and everything, but you fizzled out. Now’s a really good time to get a reset and figure out what got me motivated to begin with, and then what kind of talk to myself … Because this is the thing about weight loss, guys, whatever mistakes you make on every single weight loss plan you’ve been on, you’re going to make the same ones going forward until you learn how to talk differently to yourself.
Corinne Crabtree:
Be willing to try lots of things until you unravel a solution, that’s the real key. You’re always going to make the same mistakes until you figure out it’s not a big fucking deal, you don’t have to throw yourself under the bus. You don’t have to call yourself names. You don’t have to make the process of making mistakes so painful that you end up just quitting on yourself just to get away from the self-talk. So what needs to change? Self-talk. Because if your self-talk can keep you going through a mistake, the answer will come to you. Every solution is at the end of a lot of shit you’ve tried. The solution isn’t found in a magic eight ball, a crystal ball, or sprinkled fairy dust on top of you or a lottery. You didn’t just get lucky this time and figure out the right plan.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then if you’re the third camp, if you have questions, if you want to talk about it, it’s like, all right, how do we build on our strengths? We’ve got this far, now let’s start leveling up more. How do you remind yourself of how far you’ve come so you can throw gas on the fire and keep the momentum going all the way through the end of the year? So that’s what we want to cover today, that’s what I want to be coaching you guys on. So if you have questions or you want to talk to me and you want to talk to Coach MJ and get some shit straight, now is the time to raise your hand. Sarah will start bringing some people up, and then I believe she’s going to ask some questions, at least one question to get us started while we get people on stage. Back to you, Sarah.
Sarah:
Thanks, Corinne. I will get some people up here to ask some questions today. And I do have a really good question. What if I’ve tried to do diets a bunch of times and I just can never figure them out. I want to lose weight every year, but every year I try to get started, I fizzle out January 3rd. Maybe I make it to February, I don’t know. Coming from before when I lost weight, I got so discouraged. How do I move forward if I just keep thinking I’m never going to figure it out?
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. So this is super simple, and I didn’t even introduce Coach MJ. MJ is an amazing coach, she’s lost I think 80 pounds, 70 or 80 pounds, I can’t remember. MJ, unmute yourself and tell me how much weight you lost.
MJ:
It’s actually 85, but who’s counting?
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly. We don’t have a big head about it or anything. But I did want to let y’all know, everybody who’s on stage is like, “Who’s is this MJ person?” MJ is actually the head coach at No BS Weightloss who’s lost 85 pounds. She’s walked all the miles in your shoes. You know how we always say I’ve walked a mile in your shoes. I always feel like in weight loss is like, girl, I bought the XXXL shirt, and I’ve worn all the sizes. It’s an honor to have you here today. She is standing for Cathy Hartman who is our usual podcast. co-host. So MJ, when I get done answering, if you have something you want to add, just feel free to jump in after me.
Corinne Crabtree:
So this is the thing, when you keep telling yourself … So this is what our brains do. Number one, you have two parts of your brain. You’ve got your habit brain, which is your primitive brain. Literally, it is such a dumb fucker. I mean, it just sits back there, it ain’t got a care in the world. The only thing it wants to do is make sure that your life’s easy. It is scared to death over everything that’s going on in the world. And so what it does is it creates a lot of foe problems for you. So what it will do is it will sit around and it will think about your weight. And it will look at the things you’ve done and it will make bullshit assessments. And it will say things like, “Oh, I bet you could never figure this out, let’s just send that thought up there. Let’s just send a bunch of horse shit.”
Corinne Crabtree:
The problem is that we all just believe old chatter that goes on in our brain. What we forget to do is utilize another part of our brain, which is called the conscious and the reasoning part of our brain. The primitive brain works automatically, so it just tells things without any regard to anything, literally. It’s just like throwing spaghetti at the wall to see what you all listen to. Your conscious reasoning brain, it actually has to be turned on like a light switch. You have it, you just have to use it. So that’s the part of our brain that we use when we sit down and let’s say we’re going to make a packing list to go on vacation. We’re going to turn on that part of our brain to decide, what do I need to bring? What don’t I need to bring?
Corinne Crabtree:
Your reasoning and conscious brain is the same way. What it can do is it can listen to what the automatic thoughts are and it can decide, “Oh, that’s a fake problem. Oh, that’s just a thought error. Oh, my brain is not thinking correctly right now.” So let’s say that you’ve started 400 diets like me back in the day from the age of, I would say 10 all the way up into my 30s. I probably started at least a new diet every month. Now, a lot of times, it’s just like I watched a comedian the other day, it’s like thank God Weight Watchers never did have a limit on how many times you could join because I was just their lifetime customer. Not because I hit my lifetime weight, but because I was just going up in there about every three months with my tail between my legs hoping that this time Weight Watchers would work for me.
Corinne Crabtree:
So I failed lots and lots, and lots of diets, which if you looked at every time I had done a diet and I had not lost weight, that habit brain would tell me, “You can’t figure this out, it’s too hard for you. You’ve never been able to lose weight before.” What I didn’t do is decide how I actually wanted to think about that. Because if my goal was to lose weight, I was not going to be able to do it with a brain that I only allowed to create a fake problem out of the past diets like failure. I was going to have to turn on my reasoning brain, let it look at all of those attempts and decide what that really meant. What was going to be the truth? So I’m sitting on my couch when I finally decided I was going to lose weight again.
Corinne Crabtree:
Guys, the heavens didn’t open, angels with harps didn’t walk in the room and sun didn’t beam in. This was not like enlightenment hit me. I just was sitting on the couch crying my eyes out thinking about how I weighed over 250 pounds. And I couldn’t even play with my own child who was one years old because I was so out of shape. And I had a thought rather than you’ll never be able to lose weight because you’ve never been able to do it, you have failed too many times. I sat there and thought, I don’t care how long it takes, but I’m going to figure this out. That little thought switch was my new perspective over every single one of those. I looked at every single attempt that had failed me and decided that that meant going forward I was going to have to figure it out. I was going to be determined to figure it out instead of sitting around and just thinking about why I can’t lose weight and all the problems that I have and everything that would get in my way.
Corinne Crabtree:
When I switched over to thinking I’m going to figure this out, that led me to thinking about, “All right, what is my current lifeline?” I started thinking about the things I was willing to do. I started thinking about, “All right, if I’m going to figure this out, here’s one thing I know, I’m not ready to give up my favorite foods. So how am I going to be able to eat my favorite foods and figure out a way to lose weight?” My brain started trying to come up with solutions because I quit thinking about a foe problem about my past. And that’s what I want you to think about. Just because your brain offers up some sentences does not make them real. Anything your habit brain offers up is always up for questioning, up for rethinking up, for interpretation. You get to engage that reasoning part of your brain, that conscious part of your brain to decide, is this what I want? Is this what I want to think about?
Corinne Crabtree:
And if it’s not what I want, I need to just turn on some thinking on purpose that I do want. I don’t need those thoughts to go away, I don’t need them to end. I don’t need to sit and cry like a fucking titty baby that they’re here. I don’t need to do any of that exhaustive bullshit. It’s like for problem comes up in my brain, other side of my brain creates a possible solution. That’s it. Now, it takes time, it’s not an overnight thing. I’ve got all kinds of processes inside of No BS. But if you want the answer to that question, that’s it. The real key to weight loss is learning how to get the mental bullshit unloaded so that you can clear the path to go out and start doing the shit you say you will do, eat the shit you say you will eat, go after the dreams you say you won’t. You clear out the mental bullshit, the path starts becoming possible, doable, and clear. All right, MJ, did you want to add anything or are we good to go?
MJ:
Well, I was going to say if anybody wants, what Corinne is talking about is your magic moment. And we actually have a podcast, episode 100, don’t miss your magic moment. And your magic moment is when you’ve lost your weight, you look at where you started the journey, you had no idea that it was going to work. It’s like Sarah was asking and you were talking about, we have all instead of No BS, this is diet number 8,765 for us. We’ve done all of them. It’s taking that one leap of faith to be like, “I am all in on me one more time.” And I always say this whenever I talk to people. If you are listening to Corinne and you are scared that you can’t make this work, that it’s not going to be the time for you. The fact that you’re even listening always shows me that somewhere inside of you you know that you can do it. You have hope and you have that desire to do it. And I just love that so much.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. And I’ll just add on one other thing too, none of us knew. I did not know my magic moment was even happening on that couch. So don’t sit around and think that you need some lightning bolt to hit you to get you to start doing this. Most of us when we start losing weight, guess what, we’re scared as fuck too. Guess what, we have doubts. Every single one of us is sitting there wondering if we can do it. We have all of that thinking. But when you become a success story, it’s because you have all of that thinking and you include some new thinking with it. None of us started because we sat around and waited for the moment that, oh, I’m brave now, I’m suddenly courageous. Oh my God, the light switch, now I know what’s going to happen. That’s a fucking no. Y’all quit asking me like, but what if I don’t know if I lose weight? I didn’t either, thank God I got off my ass anyway, that’s what I think all the time.
Corinne Crabtree:
Guys, quit waiting around to know. Rather than asking, well, what if I don’t know if I’ll lose weight? Well, what if you just get started, when’s that happening? Why don’t we just ask a better question? Rather than asking what if I don’t know, ask, well, when am I going to start? What’s my date. What’s my time? What meal am I starting with? What’s the next change. If you’re going to ask questions, guys, ask good questions. Don’t ask pointless bullshit questions like what if you don’t believe in yourself. Who gives a fuck? Nobody who loses all their weight started off believing in themselves on day one. Quit acting like you’re some kind of anomaly. Welcome to being every other woman that started a weight loss journey. I don’t know if y’all can tell, but I started my period this morning. I always got my hormones going, I’m ready to yell, I’m already sweating. Let’s go Sarah, who’s are we coaching?
Sarah:
All right. First before we get to the Q&A, I want to let everyone know at the end of the hour, Corinne is going to be sharing three keys to resetting your goal and getting started again. These are three really quick actionable tips. So stay to the top of the hour, and we will share those with you. I also just want to welcome everyone who is coming into the room. This is a live recording of the Losing 100 Pounds with Corinne podcast. We are opening it up to Q&A. So if you have any questions about how to reach your weight loss goal in 2021, feel free to raise your hand. And if you are ready to get off the couch and get started and make this magic moment happen for yourself, go and take Corinne’s free course today. You can find that at No BS.club or if you’re listening to the replay podcast, go to No BSfreecourse.com. It’s a three-day free video course, and it’s going to teach you the basics of losing weight.
Sarah:
It is so simple and common sense. If this inspires you, go do that right now. All right, we’ll get onto our first question. Good morning, Emily, do you want to unmute and tell us what your question is today regarding reaching your weight loss goals this year?
Emily:
Hello. So my question is I was going over all of my BOOM goals the other day actually, so this is a perfect topic for me right now. And when I was assessing that, I’m sort of realizing that the goal that I set in the beginning of the year is not feasible for me to reach by the end of this year. So should I go back and remake that goal or do I keep that goal and just see where I can get? I’m not sure how I should proceed at this moment.
Corinne Crabtree:
Well, here’s my opinion, you can do this either way, but it’s the thoughts backing it up. Right now your thought is about your goal, it’s not feasible to get there. And if anybody’s wondering, what the fuck is a BOOM goal? It’s called Blowing Our Own Mind. It’s something we talk about inside of No BS all the time. So I did want to mention that in case the podcast listeners are like, “Oh my God, I don’t know what a BOOM goal is, I’m going to stop listening now.” No, you don’t. So your thought, it’s not feasible, I would never think that about my goals, ever. Not for one second. It feels true, I am sure Emily you’ve done the math and you’re looking at the things, that’s the problem. When we think something like my goal’s not feasible at this point, all it does is have us brainstorm all the weight, all the math that it can’t happen. Such a waste of time.
Corinne Crabtree:
I mean, think about it. It sends your brain into the trajectory. It’s like when you think about my goal is not feasible, we feel a little defeated. You may not be in the deuter or the toilet about it, but it’s going to feel a little deflating. Defining is probably the best word. It just pops the balloon of your New Year’s goal. And so that has us looking forward and estimating how far off we are. It’s not what I would advise anyone to ever do for themselves with their goals. So when you think about your goal, you really want to get into the mindset of, okay, it’s the middle of the year, this is how much I wanted to lose, this is where I’m at.
Corinne Crabtree:
And we need a thought that’s not it’s not feasible, and here are some suggestions. You could be thinking, “I’ve done a lot of good work this year, and here are the things I’ve done, I’m going to build off of that.” After you do that, you could even think, “Do I want a new goal or do I just want to keep this one?” And you just start getting into the mindset of deciding. But I feel like right now you’re trying to decide from the energy of I want to reset the goal so that at the end of the year I won’t be disappointed. No matter what you do at the … I don’t care if you lose all of the weight, more of the weight or a lot less, if you don’t want to be disappointed at the end of the year, then all you have to do is think about all the effort you gave this year, focus on all the things you learned.
Corinne Crabtree:
All you have to do is look at all the things that you challenged yourself with and then talk about it and give yourself praise. If we don’t want to be disappointed at the end of the year, that’s all it takes. It does not matter what number any of you end up at. The other thing is that what I would do right now if I was you Emily is I would go ahead and do that process now because the number … All of you think the number is the goal, the number is a 10th of the goal. So I have a free challenge coming up. So if you’re No BS women, don’t worry about this. We talk about this inside the membership all the time. But if you’re going to do my free challenge … At the end, Sarah will give us information on how you get signed up and all this other stuff. Just make sure you’re following me on Instagram, you can do that in my profile if you’re here in clubhouse. You’ll get invited through there, and you’ll get invited through email.
Corinne Crabtree:
During that challenge, I’m going to be talking to you guys about we don’t want to just weigh a certain amount. Emily, let me ask you this, let’s just say at the end of the year you were to hit your goal. Outside of weighing that, why do you want to be there? What do you think your life’s going to be like once you get there that’s different than it is now?
Emily:
Well, one of my main whys is that I want to feel accomplished and see that I have truly done something good for myself, that I’ve put my health first.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. So you’re doing that now, so why are you not just feeling accomplished today? Do you see what I’m saying? You’re like, “Oh, I want to get to my goal weight so I can fell accomplished and see that I’m doing good things for myself.” Have you not done any of that this last six months?
Emily:
Oh no, I’ve done amazing things.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. So I want you to just listen to what’s happening in your brain. You have to tell yourself, we can’t just hang, the goal is so that I can feel accomplished. The goal is today I feel accomplished because I did these things, I’m already that person now. I’m going to tell you Emily, it’ll make the next six months a whole lot more enjoyable. What else?
Emily:
No, that was perfect. I’m nodding my head, but I realized nobody’s seeing me. So this is great.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right. So give me one other thing that when you reach your goal weight that you think will be different about your life or that you think you’ll be feeling?
Emily:
Well, my joints will be easier, so it will be easier to hike with friends. I really enjoy hiking with friends. I’ve completed two half marathons so far, and my goal is to do another one this year. And so just completing another half marathon with more ease would be wonderful.
Corinne Crabtree:
So this is what I would do then, what I would do is I would focus right now more on rather than thinking my goal is not feasible. Look at your goal at the end, and I want you to start from the place of here’s everything I’ve already accomplished, and really list all that out. Here’s all the amazing things I’ve already done this year, here are the successes have already collected, this is how I’ve already changed. And start from that place and then decide, “All right, knowing all of this, do I want to change the goal or not?” Because when you look at all your successes, you’ll be looking at your goal from the place of, “Look at all this that I’ve already done, and now I want to look at my goal.” And rather than thinking it’s not feasible, I want to start thinking I’ve got a great foundation, I’ve got a great base. I can build off of this to get there and then you’ll Know …
Corinne Crabtree:
This is the way that I always do goals. Sometimes I reset goals because if a goal let’s say … If I take a look at the end of the year and I notice, “Man, in order to get there, I’m going to have to do a lot of shit I don’t really want to do.” And I mean I’m going to have to get there practically being an asshole to myself, I’m going to have to get there installing habits that I don’t want. So I’m okay with changing the goal to say how I get there is way more important than getting there in this timeframe. So when you look at it from your successes and what you truly want out of your life, knowing whether or not you’re going to change your goal becomes really easy. And it comes from love, it comes from future. It comes from being the person you want to be.
Corinne Crabtree:
Right now I think what it’s coming from is scared you won’t hit it. And we don’t want to mess with our goals from the scared mindset. We want to do our thought work around getting into the right mindset. MJ, did you have something to day?
MJ:
Yeah. Emily, a lot of times for, I know for me, I always went to how I failed, what I had done wrong. That’s just what my brain did. When I first started, you’re looking to feel accomplished, I was always looking to feel proud. And I always wrote and still do every day, how can I go to bed proud tonight? What can I do today that will create that feeling when I go to bed? And you might want to do that for accomplished, just write that in the morning, and it will put your brain to work on finding all of those ways. Maybe it is getting your water in, maybe it is doing a workout to get towards your goal of doing another half marathon. Whatever it is, put your brain to work on that because we so often just go to just the crappiest thoughts about ourselves, which is what we’ve done for so long. So put your brain to work on where you want it to go.
Corinne Crabtree:
Awesome. Thank you so much, MJ.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Emily. What a great way to look at the goals that we’ve set already this year and just take a little bit of a reassessment. I want to talk about the challenge that Corinne mentioned really quickly before we get to our next caller. We are doing a take control of food challenge, and it’s going to run August 1st through 7th. Our challenge sign-ups are going to start on July 25th. And if you would like to join our challenge, make sure to follow Corinne on Instagram at Corinne Crabtree or follow us on Facebook. And you will get notified to sign up for the challenge. You can also get on our email list by taking our free course at No BS.club. Or if you’re listening to the replay, head to No BSfreecourse.com. And after you take the free course, you will be invited to sign up for our challenge. With that, we’ll go onto our next caller Kim. Good morning, Kim, what is your question?
Kim:
Good morning everyone. Maybe I just need to listen to the end where Corinne is going to talk about how to reset. I am a No BS woman, I made Queen’s Club and shortly thereafter just got stuck and I’ve been up and down the same I think three or four pounds because I refuse to weigh myself. I do need to reset, I will never give up. I am extremely proud that I was sure that menopause was just my death, and it wasn’t. I actually lost the weight that I thought I would never lose. And I had always, unlike many women No BS, I’d always been the thin one, and then it was a shit show.
Kim:
And then I decided to stop blaming menopause, and I did really well and I did it slowly and differently because every time I went on a diet I would end up just gaining more at the end. So now I don’t know if it’s fear, I don’t know if it’s my perfection. Because for instance, one of my goals is to be proud of me, and it doesn’t seem as if I can unless I follow my plan to the letter, which doesn’t happen often.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Can I ask you a question?
Kim:
Sure.
Corinne Crabtree:
You said that, oh, my God Corinne, the worst thing ever is to have to follow my plan to the letter. Why is that such a problem? Are you not making a plan you like? Because if you like it, you shouldn’t have to be sitting around bitching about it.
Kim:
I think I’m too much of a perfectionist, and I’m not. I heard someone recently on one of the calls, a podcast or something where someone actually said, “Well, I’m going to eat well today. I’m not sure what it’s going to be because we’re going out, but I’m going to just choose this or that.” And I’m writing on my plan one tablespoon of peanut butter and half a banana for breakfast.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Why are you not doing the stuff I’ve taught you? So this is what I want to point out what’s happened. First of all, you’re telling yourself some shit story like I’m stalled at three to four pounds. You don’t even know, you even said it. It was like, I’m not weighing, but I’m just going to keep telling myself I’m stalled because that feels like shit. And then wonder why I’m creating asshole plans, don’t even like them. And then I’m going to be sitting around wondering why I’m not following them. Have I got it about right?
Kim:
Well, I also sometimes-
Corinne Crabtree:
Now, well, you’re not going to sit here and tell me all the reasons why I’m broken, do you see what your brain is doing here?
Kim:
Yes. What my brain is doing is really equating following my plan to being a woman of my word, so if I didn’t follow it. I felt like that was the first thing that we had to do. My first message, I felt, in this whole program was do what you say you’re going to do.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. So let’s do that, let’s actually make a plan where it’s easy for you to do what you say you’re going to do. Right now, you’re making a plan that doesn’t have her interest in mind. You’re making a plan from the mindset of, well, I’ve been stalled for three or four months. And if I don’t follow my plan to the absolute perfect tee, I probably can’t lose weight. How does all that feel? When I just said your own words back to you, what feeling does that emote for you?
Kim:
It’s fear, it’s fear actually.
Corinne Crabtree:
And then when you’re afraid, when you’re sitting around all day long afraid of your own food plan, afraid that you can’t lose your weight, afraid that you’re in a stall, afraid that you’re not a woman of her own word, what do you do?
Kim:
Don’t make a plan.
Corinne Crabtree:
Right. Avoid the things that your brain is causing fear around. See, the plan is not making you afraid, it’s your thoughts about it. And so what we do is we give up on the plan instead of just saying like, “Hey, if I’m going to be afraid … Because right now you’re saying, “I’m just going to be afraid that this won’t work and keep trying to do shit that won’t work.” Or you could just be afraid to plan stuff that you’re afraid to plan and then start following it. I mean, if you’re going to be afraid, I would be afraid of the right thing that gets me where I want to go. I would just move through that fear. You’re quitting to avoid the fear. All I want you to do is just realize your brain is making this such a fake problem, you’re now not a woman of your word. You’re not following a food plan each day. Last I checked when we all tried to check into the pearly gates, they’re not going to be like, “Oh my God, I see you broke 400 food plans, you’re out.”
Kim:
You are not a woman of your word.
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly. I don’t give a shit how you showed up in life, you sure didn’t follow those food plans. But do you see your brain is making this such a big fucking deal?
Kim:
Yes. And I keep telling myself every day, it’s your brain, it’s your thoughts? You did well, you did this, you did that. And you know what, this other weird freaky phenomenon is when I have this day when I’m going, “You, you were badass today, you did everything perfectly.” The next day, I completely go ham.
Corinne Crabtree:
That’s not because you had a good day, it’s because the next day you woke up and you had a thought, that’s it. You just need to find what thought you have the next day, it’s probably some permissive thought.
Kim:
That must be it. Like I was so good yesterday, I can do whatever I want.
Corinne Crabtree:
I just need to make sure that when you tell yourself you did good, I want all of you to pay attention to this. When you did good, does that mean I followed a plan that was unrealistic for me, but that day I was able to make myself do it even if it’s not what I ultimately want? Half the time, I can make myself. But half the time, I dread it, it’s terrible. It’s not how I really want to lose my weight, that kind of stuff. Is that what you’re talking about?
Kim:
No. When I was a badass, it’s partly following the plan, but it’s that I did 300 other things too. Oh my God, I did my meditation today and I did my walk today, and I did my this today and that. I think I try to do 10 things in a day.
Corinne Crabtree:
That’s okay, that part’s okay. This is what I’m getting at. Sometimes what we do is we’ll have meditations, follow our plan, walking, have sex with the partner, wipe all the asses of the kids and they go to bed with a clean nose, we just do all the things. But all day long, what we did is we said I have to do this, I need to do this, I got to do this, I should be doing this. I know what I don’t want to, I need to get it. We talk about it in such a pushy willpowerly way that at the end of the day when we get through all of it, we’re like, “Oh my God, I was such a badass.” Our summary of everything we did is amazing. But how we got to that is like an asshole.
Corinne Crabtree:
Our brain the next day, it’s gone through what I call a traumatic event. And then we tell ourselves … We give ourselves a traumatic event all day long around you should be doing this, you have to do this. Don’t say no to that person, you don’t want to them off, you got to get it all done. That’s a big traumatic event that we’re doing on a daily basis. And then we’re telling ourselves at the end of the day, “Oh my God, you were so good today. You’re such a badass.” And then we wonder why the next day we ain’t got no energy left. But then we feel bad, now we’re not a good person if we didn’t do all that stuff.
Corinne Crabtree:
You just have to watch that language a bit. And since you’re a No BS woman, this is some stuff I’d start unpacking. I would start listening to a typical day at how you’re talking to yourself. Let’s just focus in on your weight loss not even all the other shit. When I’m making a plan, what do I think that gets me to do it? Is it something encouraging or is it something forceful and commanding? When I’m eating, same thing. When I think about food, when I think about the next meal, when I think about meditation, when I think about walking, am I commanding myself, bitching at myself, wagging my finger and shaking myself? Am exasperating myself to get it all done? What is the language like or is it empowering? Really listen for a few days, commit to the next three days I’m going to do the things just for two or three days so I can figure out what I’m thinking.
Corinne Crabtree:
I’m going to be actually teaching this concept tomorrow Wednesday morning, 9:00 AM Central Time inside the membership on our weekly call. It’s called the Thought Reveal Process. We’re going to be talking about it tomorrow so I can go a little more in depth. But essentially what you’re going to do is you’re going to put yourself in your own brain’s harm’s way. You’re going to just throw yourself into your plan and throw yourself into your days where you do all the things. When I say in your brain’s harm’s way, you’re going to be watching for the language that you’re using, and you’re not going to judge it. You really need to understand it so that you can start unwinding, what is all this talking that I’m doing? When I’m creating my plan, why am I putting half a banana and one table spoon of peanut butter? I just want to know my reasons.
Corinne Crabtree:
It may be an amazing breakfast, it may be all that you really need. But if you’re telling yourself it’s all I can have, this is what a good person would eat, it’s never going to work long-term. You’re going to be breaking plans, you’ll try to get away from plans. You’ll be doing things to create relief from your thinking about what you’re doing. And I have a sense that that’s what’s happening right now.
Kim:
Yes. I think it’s probably I thought I got over it being a No BS woman for the past eight months, but I think it’s probably old diets thinking that’s coming in.
Corinne Crabtree:
Oh God, we never get over our-
Kim:
I know, I know.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re a good example. I just want to tell you, don’t think that, oh, I just thought I got all over that. Tell me how that feels?
Kim:
Goddammit, I thought I was done with this.
Corinne Crabtree:
Right, exactly. I just want you to notice how much energy in your brain you’re spending on pissing yourself off and then wondering why it’s so hard and why food feels like a pretty good option. Let me just create some relief over here, let me just stop doing some of this stuff so I can get away from my own fucking thinking. Let’s just change the thinking so that you can get away from your thinking by changing your thinking, and you can get all the way to your goal. All right, thank you so much.
Kim:
Thank you.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Kim. We are going to move on to our next caller today. But don’t forget, we will be sharing three top tips for resetting your goal and getting started again here at the top of the hour. Good morning to Carol. Would you like to unmute and then say my question is, and then say your question?
Carol:
Good morning. Thank you. My question is, what can I tell myself to stay on track? I’m going to recommit July to a reset, I joined No BS after the March free course, I lost 25 pounds. But in the past six weeks, I have not been doing anything other than making a plan. And I’ve already, before this call, had already filled out my monthly plan and already had decided to recommit. But this is a pattern for me, I’m good for a couple months, and then I stop. I usually gain my weight back, I have maintained this time, which means that I’m listening and things are working. I guess I need a thought to tell myself how to stay on track this time. Thank you.
Corinne Crabtree:
Carol, number one, this is really normal. This is what happens very often, what we do is we reach a level of success. This is what I most often see is when we’re in a lot of pain over our weight or we really want to get started, we’re trying to move away from a lot of the pain of where we’re at with our weight, that was like me at 250. It’s easy to do the new things, it’s easy to think about where you’re going. And then what ends up happening is you start getting further from the pain of being overweight and you start feeling like, “Oh, okay, it’s not so bad now.” And there’s a transition period that a lot of people go through. And so I just want to tell you what ends up happening is when we’re losing weight, if we’ve used beating ourselves up or waiting for a rock bottom or needing everything to be a shit show before we ever lose weight, our brain gets conditioned to needing that kind of emotional thinking energy to do the things.
Corinne Crabtree:
What I teach you is very different. And so you lose 25 pounds, you feel really good about yourself. You’re losing the old way that you would whip yourself into going. And so when you get a little bit of success, your brain automatically can start sometimes thinking more successful things. And so what we’ve got to do is we’ve just got to transition to inserting some thoughts that make it worth it to keep going. So something already is working because what’s different from the other times is you would have gained weight. So you’re definitely talking to yourself about reasons why to keep moving forward, now we just got to throw the gas on the fire.
Corinne Crabtree:
I don’t think you have to do much, I don’t think you need to be like this. I wouldn’t even say this is what I always do because you’ve already said it, it’s not what you always do. You’ve already said this time is different, I didn’t even regain weight. Normally, I would. You need to tell yourself this is not like the other times. That’s really the only shift you need to make in your thinking is to quit trying to compare it to the other times. And if you start telling yourself that, list why is this unlike every other time? What makes this time so different? What am I looking forward to starting back up today? Don’t you wait until July 1st. We start today, we don’t start July 1. Today’s June 29th, there’s no reason why we need to fuck around for two days getting ready for July 1st. Let me ask you this, you’ve already made a plan today, correct?
Carol:
Yes.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Can you wait to eat until you’re hungry?
Carol:
I’m good at it early in the morning.
Corinne Crabtree:
Can you do it tonight?
Carol:
I will work on it, I’ll try.
Corinne Crabtree:
That’s bullshit. You asked me, what do I need to tell myself? It ain’t I’ll try. Listen to at your voice, you’re already convinced it’s going to be hard, I don’t think it’s going to work, but I’ll give it an effort. Could you imagine if I came to your coaching session. Let’s say that you were going to hire me for six months. And I said, “Well, thank you for paying me Carol, I don’t know if it’s going to work. I bet it’s going to be hard, but I’m going to try to be your coach.” What would you do?
Carol:
probably fire you.
Corinne Crabtree:
Exactly. So I need you to fire yourself right now. There’s just no reason to even think it. We all do this. I’m probably going to disappoint myself, so let me just disappoint myself ahead of time so I won’t feel so bad when it doesn’t work tonight. So now your brain is only sat around and thought about all the ways it can’t work and visualize as you’re eating. It’s poor direction for your brain. So just tell me, what are we going to do tonight, this evening? We’re going to wait till we’re hungry?
Carol:
I am going to wait till I’m hungry to eat.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yeah. Might it be hard?
Carol:
Yes.
Corinne Crabtree:
So what are you going to do about that?
Carol:
Tell myself that I can do it.
Corinne Crabtree:
Yep. The moments it starts feeling hard, you brain starts offering up fake ass problems like you’re going to starve. You need to look at yourself like I ain’t starving, there’s people in the world right now who are legit starving, I don’t think I’m in that country. We got to get real with ourselves. Tonight, you’re going to watch for your fake problems that your brain is going to create and just tell yourself, “I’m pretty sure we’re going to be okay.” That’s literally all you got to do is start today, just wait till you’re hungry. And then when you eat, pay attention. You don’t even have to tell yourself, “I got to stop,” you just need to like, “let me just pay the fuck attention when I’m eating, I bet I’ll learn something.” It’s so much easier to quit eating when you pay attention.
Carol:
Okay. Thank you so much.
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re welcome. Good luck.
Carol:
Thanks.
Corinne Crabtree:
Oh, hey, did you watch my call I did last Saturday?
Carol:
I’m sure I did.
Corinne Crabtree:
Last Saturday, we did the monthly, the very first. We did a whole session with me helping everybody go through the brand new monthly planning and assessment worksheet.
Carol:
I did. Now that you said that, yes, I went through it. And I actually did the assessment, and yesterday I went and did the second half of it.
Corinne Crabtree:
Good. Okay. I just wanted to make sure you saw that. So anybody who’s listening who’s a No BS woman, if you’re wanting to get your monthly plan together, we just started a brand new call where you guys are work shopping with me on the, I think it’s the last Saturday of every month we’re going to assess our month and then we’re going to plan our month. And we’re doing it together, and we’re doing it in meeting style where we can break you out into sessions. So I just wanted to make sure you saw it and that everybody knew about it. If y’all didn’t go live, you can watch it in the replays or you can listen to it in your podcast. I think MJ wants to add one thing and then we’ll move on.
MJ:
Yes. I was actually listening to a little bit of Corinne this morning from a path [inaudible 00:41:25]. And she talked about that every day we have 200 thoughts about food. So if you’re looking at the next three days before you’re going to recommit or get started or whatever, that’s 600 decisions that could be moving closer to your goal. And even if you only make 200 decisions that are going to help you get there, out of the 600 that you could make, how much further could you be towards your goal in three days? There is no magic time. Every day you wait, that’s 200 decisions you can make. So I am so glad that you’ve already done the work for next month. But yeah, start today. That’s awesome.
Carol:
Okay. It’s a lot of practice.
Sarah:
That’s right. Get your practice reps in, Carol. Thank you so much for your question, and good luck getting started again. I want to let everyone know we’ve been talking a lot about No BS women and the No BS Weightloss Program. Corinne is actually going to open up the membership for new people to join August 4th through 7th. So make sure you’ve taken our free course at No BS.club to get more information on how you can join and become a No BS woman here in August. With that, we’re going to get to our last question. We’re going to keep this one short because we have got to reveal the three top tips for resetting your goal here at the top of the hour. All right, Paula, what is your question? Unmute and say my question is.
Paula:
Hi. My question is around if I am needing to reevaluate my goal weight. So I have been listening to your podcast for just about two years. And last year during lockdown, I really started doing the work. I’ve done all of your free stuff, all of your challenges and things like that. And I am a couple of pounds from my goal weight, and I’ve lost about 50 pounds. My question is, should I go a little lower than that knowing that my weight fluctuates so that it’ll always be okay or am I just playing games with my brain around that?
Corinne Crabtree:
You’re playing games. It being okay is a decision you may not what the number tells you. If you want the number to be okay, it can be okay. All of you listening. I don’t give a damn what you weigh that number literally gets to be okay right now. It doesn’t have to be bad too much, not at my goal. All of that is a way that you think about it. And every way that you think about your weight no matter what weight it is, it’s going to create a feeling.
Paula:
And honestly, I’ve been wondering these last few pounds whether I’m finished losing weight. As I approached this number, I was like, “Oh, this isn’t the body I had 20 years ago when I weighed this, 25 years ago when I weighed this.”And I’ve really come to terms with that’s really okay because my body’s been through a hell of a lot of stuff in those last 25 years.
Corinne Crabtree:
And it’s 25 years older. It ridiculous of any of us to think that after 25 years I’m like, “Oh my God, I weigh the same. I don’t know why I don’t look the same.”
Paula:
And I’m really at a good place with that. I’m starting to lift weight so that I can get stronger because I want to feel strong not because I necessarily want it to look different. But I’m kind of thinking maybe I’m okay where I’m at.
Corinne Crabtree:
This is what I would do is, this is such a good question, and it’s one of the reasons why I’m writing for the No BS women for next year a maintenance program. Because no one’s teaching maintenance, and somebody’s got to, so I might as well be the first one. One of the things that you want to do is you really want to write about why you love the weight you’re at now, all the amazing reasons to stay here, the life that it allows you to have. You really want to get into a good place around loving the weight you are now. If you want to lose a little bit more, you write about what do I think would be different? It’s a simple question, but it’s like if I lose 5 more pounds, if I lose 10 more pounds, whatever it is, what is going to be different for me?
Corinne Crabtree:
And see if maybe what’s happening is some of that’s already happening now, you just keep thinking this new weight is now going to give you the permission to enjoy my body. It’s like, well, what if we just … When you do the list of all the things, you’re already doing it, but what if we gave ourselves permission to enjoy our body now, would we need to keep going? We kept that this number gives us permission to sometimes feel and do and think the things about our body that we can already do now. So you want to separate that out. And then the last part is to give yourselves reasons why it could be fun to do it. For me, if I’m ever going to lose any more weight, it will only be for the challenge to see what I’m made of, just all that kinds of stuff, almost to invite some hard work in on purpose in a very fun way. So those are just some things to think about.
Paula:
Quite honestly, my goal number is because of a stupid BMI chart. So part of me thinks I need to stop so that I’m not thinking that, “Oh gosh, that’s the be-all end-all.” And that maybe at some point later on, like you said, if I want to lose a little bit more for the challenge, I can do that.
Corinne Crabtree:
This is to just remember you don’t need to quit losing weight to quit thinking the BMI chart is the end-all be-all. This is what I want you to watch out for, just clean up your thinking I think this is very common for all of you, we say things. This is why I have you write stuff, write all your thoughts down, then go back and realize how many thoughts you’re having and be like, “Is that even true?” It’s like, “Oh, if I don’t want to believe in the BMI, I just can decide it’s bullshit and not something that I’m going to base my goal weight on anymore.” That how you not make it the end-all be-all, you don’t have to give up on your goal.
Corinne Crabtree:
I want to make sure that if you keep losing or not, I want you doing it from a place of, “No, I really do want this, and I love my reasons for it.” Because if you love your reasons for it, the process to get there, you’ll enjoy it, and it’ll be challenging. If you don’t love your reasons for it, you’ll be pushing and shoving and dragging yourself along and frustrating yourself and pretty much developing an angry ass relationship with your goal weight. And it’s like you worked so hard and deserve to enjoy it, let’s not shit on it at the end.
Paula:
Okay, I love that.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay. Thank you.
Paula:
Okay. Thank you.
Sarah:
Thank you so much for your question, Paula. It is the top of the hour, so I want to make sure that Corinne you can share your top three resources for resetting your goal and getting started again.
Corinne Crabtree:
Okay, guys. Number one, the very first thing you need to stop doing is using the word never. Guys, if you are including the word never, I’ll never lose my weight, I’ll never keep this off, I’ll never be able to eat that again, I’ll tell you right now, you’re not going to be able to reset your goals. You’re also going to all over the relationship you have with your goals. So clean up the word never. The second thing that I want you all to think about is I want you to relisten to episode 88 of the podcast, it dropped on December 14th 2018. I take you through the process of how to set real-listed goals. So if you’re looking to do your reset, that would be a great podcast episode to go back to. Take notes and do exactly as I told you to.
Corinne Crabtree:
The third one is another podcast episode, it’s number 183, it released on October 2nd of 2020, It’s called the five Characteristics of Weight Loss Grit. And I really go into on that podcast these five characteristics that you’re going to need to face your doubts to keep going when you don’t want to, to make mistakes and persevere. So it’s a really good podcast for those of you who are sitting around and wondering how do I keep going? What do I do if I’ve stalled? All the callers that said that they had installed, it’s really good podcast for all of that. And then I’m going to give you a bonus one. Jon Acuff’s book Finish, it’s just the word finish. He has a chapter in there called the day after perfect. I think that when I talked in the very beginning about there being three types of people that got started in 2021 on their goals, especially for persons one and two who started off and at some point quit or fizzle, you really want to read this book.
Corinne Crabtree:
It tells you how to, on day after perfect, it talks about people are really good at a goal until they hit the first hiccup. And how you show up for yourself the day after perfect is everything to finishing. So that’s a really good book. You can get it if you go over to pnp411.com/faves, F-A-V-E-S. And we will put links to all this in the podcast so that you guys can find all this stuff. You can order that book from there, that’s my store where I have all the books that I recommend and things like that for you. All right, that’s it for today. Sarah, anything else before we close out.
Sarah:
Just remember, if you haven’t taken that free course head to No BS.club. You sign up for the free course, we’ll send you a free workbook. Corinne has three video lessons for you to get your weight loss started. And being on that email list is a surefire way you’ll be invited to our challenge for the first week of August as well as be notified when the No BS Weightloss Program is open for new members. So do that today if you haven’t yet.
Corinne Crabtree:
All right, everybody, we will see you next week. Thank you. Thank you so much for listening today. Make sure you head on over to No BSfreecourse.com and sign up for my free weight loss training on what you need to know to start losing your weight right now. You’ll also find lots of notes and resources from our past podcasts to help you lose your weight without all the bullshit diet advice. I’ll see you next week.
