February 19, 2021

Episode 203: The 10 Rules of Weightloss

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10 Weightloss Rules

Today, y’all, I’m getting in the weightloss pulpit to preach and teach exactly what you need to do to lose your weight – it’s the 10 Rules of Weightloss.

I’m giving you the equivalent of the Weightloss Bible that has helped thousands of women change their lives for good.

I’ve broken it all down to 10 Rules of Weightloss. These rules make sense, make your life easier, and you can do them forever.

Rule 1 is, “If God made it (i.e. if comes from nature), quit stressing about eating it.”

Rule 2 is, “You have to drink water to actually survive and lose your weight.”

Rule 3 is, “Don’t eat when you’re NOT hungry, and stop when you’re full.”

Rule 4 is…actually, you’re gonna have to tune in to find out the remaining 10 Rules of Weightloss.

The women in my No BS membership know these 10 Rules of Weightloss so well, they do what it takes to lose weight each week.

Plus, they know how to handle it when they have an occasional gain.

In today’s podcast, you’re getting the simple path to making weightloss so doable, you’ll want to get started today.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Topic 1: Why the 10 Rules of Weightloss work to swiftly move you through doubt to understand food NEVER causes your weight problems. [1:36 – 5:58]

Topic 2: Why the 4th Rule is so incredibly important that I have over 200 podcast episodes dedicated to teaching it over and over. [16:16 – 19:13]

Topic 3: Why 5th Rule and 6th Rule go hand in hand to engage the future version of you in your weightloss journey. [16:17 – 21:47]

Topic 4: How Rules 7, 8, 9, and 10 help you embrace the doubt and erase worry to see instead of weightloss problems. [21:48 – 48:27]

Listen to the Episode

Get the Free Course here:

https://nobsweightloss.com/free-course

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Worry Bucket [24:08]

Worry 2.0 [24:10]

Transcript

Corinne:

Hello, everybody. Welcome back. So today we’ve got a goodie. We’re going to give you the 10 rules of weight loss. Just saying. I’m going to give you the weight loss Bible right now. And number one is so funny because it’s biblical. Number one, if you want to lose weight, if God made it, quit stressing it. This is a rule I came up with a long time ago because I got sick and tired of hearing people say, “Yeah, but Corinne, I got this trainer and he told me I should never eat bananas. And I can’t have carrots and stuff.” And I’m just like, “What the fuck are we even talking about?” I want to meet that person who has a weight problem, because when they eat bananas, they got to eat five. When they eat carrots, they got to go ham. That is not our problem.

Corinne:

And I will say maybe some of you’ve got other things I don’t know, but I’ve rarely met anyone where, when they tell me that they can’t lose weight and I’m like, “And there’s no emotional eating, not an ounce.” I’ve just never had anybody come up to me and say like, no, there’s none. Too many of us are not eating bananas and carrots all damn week long. And then on the weekend, we’ll eat two cupcakes because we feel so cheated. And then the next thing we know, we’re tearing ourselves apart over two cupcakes that way you just go ahead and order a fuck it pizza to top it all off.

Corinne:

Most of you need to stop thinking about the foods are causing my weight problem. It’s almost never food. It’s usually, I am overeating these foods and I need to understand at a better level, why am I overeating these foods? Am I eating because I’m upset? Am I eating because I’m hard on myself? Am I overeating it because all day long, I talk to myself like a asshole and I have no reserves left at night to talk nicely to myself about what I deserve instead of food. I deserve my goals. I don’t have that bandwidth anymore. All I want is immediate relief from feeling like the day jacked me up all day long. It’s just really important for you guys. I always say this is rule number one because I watch people stress out over the minutia around what foods they can and can’t eat. I have coached so many people on sandwiches. It’s unreal. They’re like, “I’ll hand up on, well, I don’t know Corinne. I don’t think I’m the kind of person that can have sandwiches.” And I’m like, “Are you really sitting there telling me you got 30 pounds to lose because you got a sandwich problem.”

Kathy Hartman:

Sorry.

Corinne:

But it’s true. Sandwiches are not making us overweight.

Kathy Hartman:

I’m serious. I lost much.

Corinne:

Having a sandwich and thinking that I’m a terrible person, and then at night eating a big ass bowl of ice cream or on the weekend, not having sandwiches all week because you know, bread is so fucking bad. And then spend Friday night face down in margaritas and chips because I’ve been so good all week, Saturday, eat my face off because I fucked up on Friday night and then Sunday trying the last supper because I know I’m going to start my bullshit over again on a Monday. Yeah, that might be the problem. It was never the fucking sandwich to begin with.

Kathy Hartman:

I lost 80 pounds eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I love peanut butter and jelly.

Corinne:

Me too. I was like, “What are you even talking about?” Most of us are sitting around trying to villainize food, and then we wonder why weight loss is so stressful.

Kathy Hartman:

Right.

Corinne:

But I don’t know, sitting around trying to act like a banana stalking us and causing our weight problem. Maybe that has something to do with it. So rule number one, if God made it, if that son of a bitch had to be washed or if it had eyeballs at one time, stop stressing that that food somehow you can’t eat it. You may have to learn how to eat it like a normal person. You might have to learn how to eat it without going face down in it, but the food itself is not the problem. And when you make it the problem, you’re not addressing the real problems. So you got anything else you want to add to that one? That one always riles me up. I’m sweating here. I’m sweating in my armpits now. What she’s telling me drives me crazy.

Kathy Hartman:

If you just think of that as a red light. When you think food is the problem, that should be like this fireworks that go off that says, wait a minute, hold on. That should just-

Corinne:

In that moment when you’re thinking food is the problem you need to ask yourself, here’s the real problem. What am I afraid of?

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah.

Corinne:

What am I telling myself right now? That’s the real problem. You need to understand some of these concepts, go back to our last podcast episode where I talked about three skills you got to have. A lot of us are sitting around self criticizing all day long. A lot of us are also like, “I’m the only one that can’t eat bread.” Bread is not your enemy. Your enemy is your thought that if you eat bread, you have no control. What if you just thought, I’m going to plan bread every damn day until I get really good at having a slice. Rather than, I’m going to sit around and stress over bread every single day until the moment I have one piece the next thing you know, I got to eat the whole loaf of French bread because I know my crazy ass is going to try to take it away again. Your brain knows you. Don’t be trying to outrun it.

Corinne:

All right, number two. [crosstalk 00:06:04] or this is going to be an hour long podcast and I’m going to lose 10 pounds in sweat. All right, do the basics that everybody and I mean every human body needs. The basics are you have got to drink water. None of you can ever tell me any kind of shit that I’m going to believe that you can’t drink water. I have coached doctors of busy ERs and help them get 64 ounces in they can’t even take a pee break. Do you want to know how to drink it? First of all, just put your mind to work on if I was not bitching about drinking water and I was trying to come up with a solution instead, what might that be? So often we just get so locked in to believe in our own horseshit about what we can’t do, that we don’t even try to think about what we might to do. It’s like we’re all so much smarter than we give ourselves credit for what it’s unreal.

Corinne:

So here’s what I always tell people. If you really are the kind of person who won’t be able to take a pee break for 10 hours, when you first feet hit the floor down 24 ounces. Just go for it. By the time you get to your job, you will have gone to the bathroom enough. And at least you got 24 in. The second, your shift ends, drink you another 24. That gets you all the way to 48 right there. And most of you are not going to be working so much that you can’t squeeze in, what do you need? Like 16 more ounces at that point. Look at me doing-

Kathy Hartman:

Look at you doing math.

Corinne:

I know, it’s like my brain is turning into a literal calculator these days. 16 ounces, it’s like nothing. Most of us could drink 16 ounces right before we go to bed and still not wake up in the middle of the night and need to go to the bathroom. So get your water in. Flavor if you need to. I would much rather somebody be flavoring their water than to not be drinking water because they’re so afraid to flavor water. You’ve got to be hydrated. If you’re not hydrated, then you are asking two things of yourself. Number one, you’re saying, “I would like to have a lot more food urges. I would like to crave sugar. And I would like to crave all kinds of things so that I can get hydrated.” Because the body is like, I will win. I am going to get my water. So if you won’t drink it, here’s what I’ll do. I will beg and borrow and send up every kind of urge, craving and temptation I can to get you to eat. Because I know that there’s water in food.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah.

Corinne:

The other thing it does is it lowers your cognition, your reasoning brain, the part that thinks for you on purpose, it reduces anywhere from two to 10% when you’re just slightly dehydrated. When you lose the on-purpose conscious reasoning part of your brain when it’s reduced, guess what? When you have an urge for a cookie after a bad day and you’re dehydrated, you have retired the part of your brain that’s like, “Come on, let’s stick to our plan. We’ve got goals. You’ll feel amazing tomorrow.” That part of your brain is passed out in the back of the room. Is like, “I got nothing for you. I’m just sitting here hoping you’ll drink a glass of water.” So if you really want to make it easier to stay on your plans, at least drink your water. The other things is get some sunshine. This is really important. I’ve been listening to a lot of brain hackers and body hackers here lately on just ways to feel better emotionally. I feel like I’m pretty much a mental ninja, but I still have my days. And sunshine has just proven that. If you can get even five minutes a day, even if you just walk outside in a coat and stand there and just let it hit your face, it will change your emotional state some. So sunshine.

Corinne:

The other basic that every single person needs is movement without rules. And this is key. I want you guys moving. I don’t care if it’s deep breathing, yoga, walks, Zumba, peloton, crossfit, whatever you decide to do. I want you to move your body and want you to do it without rules. And I only want you to do shit you like. Do not sit there and abide by somebody else’s bullshit rules about what you should be doing with your body. Just enjoy moving it. And the last one is sleep. Our bodies need sleep. Everything I said about water, pretty much applies to sleep too. Your body just needs a good seven to nine hours of sleep a night. Depriving it means you are going to be not able to think as clearly. You’re not going to be able to think about your future as much, because all you’re going to be thinking about is your immediate wants and needs because that’s what happens when it doesn’t have enough water and sleep, then it starts over focusing on its most immediate needs.

Corinne:

We all want that to happen. Otherwise, if it didn’t think about water and sleep, we’d run ourselves ragged, dehydrate and die. Your body is supposed to sound the panic alarm. It starts saying like, “Eat, eat, eat, do these things.” But it also retires out that part of your brain that thinks about your goals, your dreams and your desires. That’s why so many of you have a hard time when you’re sleep deprived and dehydrated like, why am I eating against myself? You’re going to think about your dreams and your goals automatically if you’re dehydrated and sleep deprived. You’ll only think about an immediate need and the fastest way to get there.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah. So just real quick, I wanted to tell you, the movement without rules one is so good because I don’t want people to hear, we want you to exercise. We just want you to move. I’ll tell you what I did yesterday, which felt amazing. Every time I finished a task, I stood up from behind my desk and I danced. Right here and you know, I’m not the best dancer.

Corinne:

Did you do that fancy arm swing I get to see all the time Kathy?

Kathy Hartman:

I did. I dance, sometimes it was John Travolta. Sometimes it was the swim, whatever it was.

Corinne:

Why are you not recording this for me?

Kathy Hartman:

But I decided that I was going to do that. Not only to celebrate that I had finished something, but to move and to create a little happy. And it worked. It was amazing.

Corinne:

Yeah. It changes your energy state for real.

Kathy Hartman:

Yes.

Corinne:

All right, number three. Don’t eat when you aren’t hungry and stop when you’re full. I don’t even know how many more times I’m going to say this. If you want to know what that even like, say this is the first time you’ve landed on this podcast, Kathy, where in the podcast, can you dig around and find where they can go and listen to the deep cuts on this. But here’s the down and dirty. The way I teach weight loss is real simple. I have four basics and this is one of them. Before you ever put a piece of food in your mouth, just stop and ask yourself, am I actually hungry? Or am I eating because I have got nothing to do. Am I eating because I want to take a break? Am I eating because I’m bored? Am I eating because somebody piss me off? Am I eating because Junior didn’t finish the last chicken nugget in his happy meal? Whatever your reason is, if it is not hunger, don’t do it.

Corinne:

The other side of it is, is when you’re eating. When you get about halfway through, ask yourself, have I had enough? Very often we have, we’re just cleaning our plate because we don’t want to waste food. Everybody else is still eating. It tastes so good. We got a lot of reasons to keep eating, but our body needing it ain’t one of them. So if you just do that, it will help you lose weight. You will cut out so much of the bullshit eating. You do that, you’ll start noticing that you are not got to stress God’s food so much. Just quit overeating foods you like. Start eating them only when you’re hungry and stop when you’ve had enough. It builds trust with your body. It helps you start utilizing what I call intentional eating skills. You start really just doing what you were always naturally designed to do. That’s the problem with the diet industries, they’ve been teaching us how to go against everything we’ve been naturally designed to do. Did you ever find it or?

Kathy Hartman:

There’s so many of them, I can tell you that-

Corinne:

Yeah, we got like a bajillion.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah. The very first one we did was episode 52. That was more-

Corinne:

But if you can go back-

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah, that was more about what we used to call the hunger scale. But it’s the same concept.

Corinne:

It’s the same concept. I just took the numbers out of it, but you can go back and listen to episode 52, if you want to have a deeper dive on that.

Kathy Hartman:

But we talk about it all the time.

Corinne:

Oh yeah.

Kathy Hartman:

I just searched hungry and it came up 21 times.

Corinne:

Yeah. Well it’s because I think it’s the most important one of all. Even if you do nothing else I tell you. Well, I only have four basics. It’s write your food down ahead of time. That means before you start the day, just decide what you’re going to eat. I teach you about the hunger part and then stopping when you’re satisfied, sleep and water. I know that if people will do those things, they will lose weight. If you want more explanation with a workbook and everything, if you go to N-O B-S. nobsfreecourse.com. You can take my free course where I will give you videos that will explain it. You’ll get a workbook that you can like, I’ll give you a planning page, everything. It’s an even deeper dive. If you want to make it easy on yourself, I would go there to get it.

Corinne:

All right. Number four. When it comes to losing weight, the 10 rules of weight loss is, no talking to yourself like an asshole. This goes back to what we were talking about in last week’s episode. So if you did listen to that one, I go deep into, we have to stop practicing self-criticism and start practicing more self-love, self-validation, self-kindness. Most of us aren’t taught how to talk to ourselves. Think about when you’re a child. Think about if you have kids, how you talk to your own kids. We spend our time, tell them more about what not to do and validating them on what they’re doing right. I know this is true for me. I’ve had to make a real effort to not say to Logan like, “Hey, don’t do it that way. Hey, when you do this, do it this way.” Rather than just saying like, “Hey, I appreciate that you’re unloading the dishwasher. Can I show you another way?”

Corinne:

Most of us are default that we do is say like, “Oh, hey, don’t put the forks in there like that, put them in there this way.” We are geared and conditioned and we do things through criticism. Here’s how you’re doing it wrong. We highlight what’s wrong. Now our brains are designed that way. So if you want to lose weight, you have to learn the skill of not talking to yourself like an asshole. And start talking to yourself like a cheerleader, a motivator. I love it when somebody wants me to coach them on their boss, and they’re talking about what a dick their boss is and how terrible they talk to themselves. I’m like, “Well, what do you think when they talk to you like that?” Well, I just think I’m a loser and blah, blah, blah. And I’m like, oh my God, the problem isn’t that they’re telling you these things, the problem is you’re agreeing with them in your mind. That’s what I mean by we have to learn how to change the conversation we have about ourselves. And that is a process. So if you want to lose weight, you got to learn how to not talk to yourself like an asshole.

Corinne:

We also have a lot of lessons on that. We got over 200 episodes of me telling you how to be nicer to yourself. Why it’s so important. The fifth skill of weight loss. You got to learn how to spend more time in your future than you do in your past and your present. And what this means is most of us are sitting around every single day, we may even do amazing things. I may stick to my plan. Today was a good day. I got up, I drink my water, go to sleep, I did my plan. I ate like I supposed to. And all I’m thinking about is, sure it’s going to take a long time to lose all this weight. I sure wish I hadn’t spent the last 20 years hating my face off. I’ve got to do all this again tomorrow.

Kathy Hartman:

I hope this works. And worked before.

Corinne:

I just hope that this is the time. We sit there and we don’t think about the future, like spending time thinking I did so good today. I bet tomorrow will be even better. I’m so glad that one day I will be, rather than sitting there like, “I hope I don’t fuck up like I did last week.” We spend a lot of time going back to this old narrative. Like most of us, we sit around and we look at our lives and we overly focus on what’s not working in it. And we don’t even spend any time highlighting what we are doing right. What is going right. Even if things aren’t going right, at least you’re showing up. Like I got up today. I took care of them damn kids that are mouthy and tired of learning our mind, but I’m still in it. We get to decide where we spend our time in our brain.

Corinne:

Rather than thinking about every time you failed in the past, think about what do you have right now that could help you do better tomorrow. That’s moving to your future, rather than thinking about what didn’t go right today, think about what you can do for a better tomorrow. We Just need to start making more decisions about how do we start thinking about what we want versus thinking and over-indexing, what we don’t have.

Kathy Hartman:

And what we can’t change. We can’t change what happened yesterday. Why spend a lot of emotional energy there? Why not just decide we can learn from what happened yesterday to make tomorrow better.

Corinne:

Exactly. I was going to say, if you’re going to go back, I always say this your past is not the fortune teller of your future. How you’ve shown up in the past doesn’t dictate if you’re going to succeed tomorrow.

Kathy Hartman:

No.

Corinne:

Your past is your teacher for you to learn what worked and what you need to double down on and learn what didn’t work that you can improve upon for tomorrow. What can I try tomorrow? What could I do differently? How can I think about this differently? Those are always good questions to be asking. The next one is take it one day at a time. I think this is a huge skill in weight loss that most people need to understand. It is one of the rules in there for a reason. Your weight loss is going to happen because of a thousand tiny decisions. Thousands upon thousands of them. Each and every single decision you make is important. Each one is special. Each one is meaningful, but you have to make them all important.

Corinne:

What most of us do is think, I did this but it’s not good enough. This will never be good enough. This will take too long. We’re sitting there and we’re actually showing up and we’re talking about it as if we’re not. We’re sitting there showing up in little ways each day, and then talking about it as if it’s never going to happen for us, instead of, this is what it takes to lose weight. It takes patience and it takes consistency over perfection. And reminding ourselves of that all the time. We have to be willing to be in that mindset. We can’t afford to sit around and think about how long it’s going to take. And if that’s you, you can go all the way back. In the way back machine, I believe it’s episode two. It’s one of the most popular episodes we’ve ever done. And it’s called, what? Something like it’s going to take so long. It’s something along-

Kathy Hartman:

I have so far to go.

Corinne:

Yes. If that’s you, I want you to listen to that episode. It’s one of the most played episodes we’ve ever had. We’ve had over 28 million downloads of this podcast. And that I think is the second most listened to episode that we have.

Kathy Hartman:

Wow.

Corinne:

And it’s because so many of us sit around and think, when we have weight to lose that it’s going to take a long time and we have so far to go. And it is only going to slow you down or dead stop you before you even get started.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah. Yeah.

Corinne:

The next one is you’ve got to face your problems instead of worrying about them. We have a couple of podcasts on this one too. We have worry bucket and worry 2.0 because most of us are sitting around eating because we feel like we have a lack of control over our life. That is one of the biggest reasons people come to me for weight loss health is because they know that I help them take control, not only over their mouth and their food, but I help them take control over their mind and their life. And what we do is we spend a lot of time focused on feeling like nothing is in our control. And we do like what I was talking about in the last episode. I was talking about over-identifying with mistakes. We also tend to over-identify with what’s wrong in our lives. And when we do that, we feel terrible.

Corinne:

When you have a weight problem, you usually use food as a way to cope with feeling terrible. When the real skill is learning how to change your perception of things, to learn how to tamp down on feeling so out of control with your life and purposely looking for the areas you do have control, and then learning how to apply focus and intensity on that part so that you get to feel better. And when you start feeling better about your life, and when you start feeling more in control and finding those small areas, you lower the desire to eat your way through your days. It’s one of the best weight loss skill or hacks ever.

Corinne:

Most of us, what we do is we try to take away our favorite foods with some strict-ass diet plan and keep overly focusing on our worries and what’s wrong in our life. And then wonder why it’s so fucking hard. Because we’re not getting any relief. What I want you to be able to do is to plan to just not overeat, but have the backup plan of, “I’m also changing what’s actually wrong. I’m helping myself really understand where my power is, what is in my control, what I can do for myself in this life.”

Kathy Hartman:

So when we worry, excuse me, when we worry, we’re never predicting things are going to be amazing. We’re never worried about how good something is going to turn out.

Corinne:

No, when we worry this is our brain, hello? Let’s run through every worst case scenario. Let’s go through every like harebrained idea of what could go wrong. Most of the time when I tell people like, “Well, tell me your worries.” They’ll tell me some shit. And also like, “Is that realistically going to happen?” I’ll always ask like, “Are the chances really good that’s going to happen?” It’s like, “No, but I probably should really think about it.” I’m like why? Number one, worry never has fixed a problem.

Kathy Hartman:

Nope.

Corinne:

Nobody’s ever come up to me and said, “Corinne, I’m really glad I did all that worrying. It solved it.” There’s no solutions in worry. You’re skewing, not solutions.

Kathy Hartman:

Right.

Corinne:

If you want to think about your problems, think about solutions, not what all could just go wrong. And then this is the funny thing it’s like, well, all right. So for all these disaster plans you’re making of what could go wrong, have you thought about what you’ll do if that happens? Well, no. Right. But most people don’t really see like if I’m going to spend time in worry, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to list my worries. I’m going to ask myself, ‘What’s the likelihood of this horseshit even coming true? Anything that might actually potentially come true, I come up with my plan. So if that happens, what the hell is this bitch going to do? I figured it out. It gives my brain some peace and relief that at least I know I got a plan B. If you’re going to worry, at least be productive. But most of us we’re just to useless. We just sit around, just let our brain run wild. And then we sit there and wonder why we feel like shit. All right, the next one.

Kathy Hartman:

That’s probably one of the biggest lessons you taught me. And I will say, if you are listening and you’re a chronic worrier, Episode, 65 is the worry bucket, Episode 160 is worry 2.0, listen to them on repeat.

Corinne:

Not only that, but if y’all don’t know, and I think we’ve talked about this, but the Worry Bucket episode came from Kathy Hartman. She would say, well, we’re still are good friends, before she worked for me and stuff, she just would call and chit chat. She had this long drive every day from work and she would have to drive in, drive out. And why don’t she just call me? And we would just shoot the shit. Well, she was such a [inaudible 00:24:04] all the time. She was just worrying and all this other stuff. And I’m like, “Girl, you got to get control over this. This is tearing you apart.” “I know.” So she was the first person I said, “This is what we’re doing. You get a worried bucket today.” And that whole podcast came from me wanting to help her see that her worries weren’t helping her anymore. They never were helping but how it had just spiraled out of control and how much, as her friend, I was noticing that every single day I was just listening to her worry.

Corinne:

And no matter how many times I would tell her, “I would just think this, or I would just do this.” I’ve tried to give advice, she’d come back tomorrow with a whole nother fresh pile of them. And it eventually dawned on me that Kathy was never going to quit worrying until she realized how useless her worrying was, and how awful it was to actually do it. She was just doing it not even realizing how bad it felt. She just did it. I’ll never forget, you were so mad at me. Because all day long you’re like, “All right, I’m all in Corinne. I’m doing it. Worry bucket, worry bucket.” So she wrote down. Everything she wants to worry she wrote it on her bucket and everything, she was prepared to feel like shit on the way home. And she was looking forward to it.

Kathy Hartman:

It’s like, I’m not worried now, but I’m worried at four o’clock dammit. Yeah, I’ve got this.

Corinne:

And I remember her calling me and telling me, “I can’t even do it. It feels like it’s going to be terrible.” She was mad that I’d ruined worrying for her.” I was like, “Good. Because we need to overcome this barrier.” But then it really her to start thinking about is it as important as I’m making it out to be? What if I don’t worry, and I just start trusting that I can handle it no matter what happens.

Kathy Hartman:

The fallacy is that you think the worrying is productive. That’s the big lie you worriers tell themselves because it’s not.

Corinne:

It’s not. So we can all thank Kathy Hartman, for falling on the Corinne coaching sword that day in the way back machine a few years ago.

Kathy Hartman:

I have fallen on it many times for everyone.

Corinne:

This is true. This is true. Hey, I sharpen the sword now. So it’s nice, quick and painless.

Kathy Hartman:

That’s right. I don’t know about painless, but it’s not as excruciating as it used to be.

Corinne:

But I want to give you credit though, because I used to coach you a lot on the podcast. And it was because like, don’t take this the wrong way, but your brain was kind of a mess for a while. You weren’t a coach yet. And I had already went to school and I’d worked on myself so much. And you were still in those beginning stages. And if you notice, I don’t have to, but I don’t coach you as much anymore. And that’s really more of a testament to how hard you work on yourself now. You’re such a good self coacher, and you ended up going to school where I go, you train our coaches now. I mean, you’ve just really come a long way. And if everybody is sitting around going, “I miss the good old days when Corinne would just get up Kathy’s ass.” It’s like, well, Kathy’s protecting her ass these days. She self-coaching coaching so much.

Kathy Hartman:

Every now and then you coach me, there was one not too long ago. I think it was when I was convinced I was stalled and you coached me. Every now and then it happens. And it’s okay. The other thing is I’m much more open to being coached now. Because I understand the benefit of it. But I used to worry that you were going to coach me on the podcast.

Corinne:

Now you’re probably worried that I’m not. Like, “Did I do wrong?” That would have been Kathy 1.0. Kathy 2.0 is not there.

Kathy Hartman:

Oh, I worry if it happened, worry if it didn’t happen. It’s just anyway.

Corinne:

Yeah. Your brain has grown exponentially over the years. But not because of me because of your own hard work. I mean, I think that’s the thing that I respect is that, I hardly know anyone and I’m not shitting Kathy. And you know me. I’m not one to like throw around the compliment. I’m notorious for being someone who’s like, compliment yourself. That’s not my job. But I hardly know anyone that works as hard on themselves as you do. And I’m not joking. If you all had any idea how much she asks me all the time, “What books should I be reading? What do you think I should read next? Is there a course I need to take?” And she’s not working on herself and this is, I think what I want everybody to know, she doesn’t work on herself any more from lack. I think she used to. I think now Kathy has spent so much time finally realizing that she can dream big and that it’s not going to hurt her that now I think she literally comes all the time wanting to learn from a place of who she sees herself now as. This other version. Not because this one’s bad, but because she loves growing into new versions of herself.

Corinne:

And that has come from that willingness to study and not beat herself up anymore. To be brave enough to think about her future and stuff. I mean, I just wanted to say on a side note, since people have long time listeners and we’ve been friends for a long time, I’ve watched you just grow so much over the years. And even though you’re older than me, sometimes I feel like you’re my little sister.

Kathy Hartman:

Well, sometimes it feels that way. And in a lot of ways I am the little sister because your growth is what inspired mine. Being able to see, watch you grow inspired mine. And I’m just a Little Misty over here. All this is recorded Corinne.

Corinne:

I know this morning, I cried a couple of times on the clubhouse, which is not recorded. Nobody gets to see that.

Kathy Hartman:

Thank you. Thank you for saying that.

Corinne:

Yeah, you’re welcome.

Kathy Hartman:

That’s very cool. And it’s all true. And I think it comes from a place of, I really feel like I have found where I’m supposed to be in life and that doing this work, whatever this is for our members, but for our listeners for the world, is where I’m supposed to be. And it’s like I told you one time I would clean toilets for this message, because I think it’s so important. And that’s why I do the work. And it feels good too. You all, it feels good when you do the work.

Corinne:

It does. Because whenever you work on yourself and you start uncovering the places where you’re getting in your own way, if you learn the skill of not beating yourself up over it, you’ve opened the door to your potential. You’ve seen what’s been blocking you and on the other side of working through it is all the potential that you couldn’t see because of that obstacle. And that I think is one of the things that I want our girls to always understand. We have a program coming out in March for all of our members. It’s about journaling. But it’s about journaling in a way where you unlock your potential and you stop being afraid of how you think, and you learn how to dig a little deeper than you normally would with courage, not fear. And so it’s a gift we want to give to all of them because me and all of the coaches, we’ve all lost our weight, we’ve all changed lives, we’ve all had so many positive benefits come from being able to think differently about ourselves. That we really want that for all of our members.

Corinne:

And so we’re creating a special program for them around that. So if you’re a member in March, whenever you’re a member, one of the nice things is when we create a program, it’s always there for the members. Whether you’re going in March or in two years from now, when you hear this. Programs that we create are available to all of our ladies, because we want you to have all of it.

Corinne:

All right. Number eight is that make food decisions ahead of time. That’s the planning. That’s riding that doable 24 hour plan. We have podcasts on that. I think that that is one of the rules of weight loss is that for most of us, I want you to learn how to make decisions ahead of time with your food so that it gives you a gift all day long. Like, “I don’t have to obsess about food all day long anymore. I don’t have to think about what am I going to eat? Am I going to be able to stay on plan?” I just want you to make a plan and I want it to be full of food you love, that you feel very confident, This is exactly how I’d like to eat today. This is what takes care of me. And we teach you that skill deep inside the membership, but if you take that free course over at nobsfreecourse.com, I go into that plan. What a doable 24 hour plan is. And I talk to you about what a gift it is and how to do it without restriction and how to do it without feeling deprived.

Corinne:

So I think it’s another one that needs to be said because when you have your 24 hour plan and you have your foods all planned, the ones that you’re going to want for the rest of the day, whenever you’re wanting to deviate from it, your plan is sitting there saying, “Hey,” the version of you that had your best self in mind, sitting here still speaking to you. The version of you that wants your goals, it’s all written out for you. You don’t have to argue, you don’t have to negotiate. And it also gives you that moment of clarity of, maybe I’m just trying to emotionally eat right now. Because if this is what I thought today sounded good, took care of me was exactly what I wanted. If I’m wanting to deviate from that, this gives me at least a pause to say, “What’s going on? Why am I wanting to do something different? And is that reason why important enough to say yes to it? Or is it more important that I say no, in this moment from love?” That’s what that 24 hour plan is all about. The next skill is to choose your future over your current wants. And that ties in to what we were talking about in the 24 hour plan.

Corinne:

Most of us are going to go through life and always going to be faced with immediate wants. If you want to lose weight, you have to learn the skill of being willing to in those moments when that cookie or that ice cream or that glass of wine sounds so good, to be able to say, “Before I say, yes, I want to make sure I know what I’m saying no to, or saying yes in this moment. And if I decide right now to say, not now, what am I saying yes to in my future.” One of the skills of weight loss, one of the rules of weight loss is becoming someone who can look to their future and who they want to be more often to just listening to what they want in the moment. The last one, oh, go ahead, Kathy.

Kathy Hartman:

It’s real quick. Because it really encompasses both of the last two. When I’m at night and I want that glass of wine or I want to eat past satisfied or whatever it is when I have that, that urge to eat something off plan, I have learned to ask myself, “What was I thinking this morning when I made the plan the way I made it?” And when I go back to that person, I think, “It’s because I want to sleep tonight. It’s because I don’t want to overeat. Because I want to have a good whatever.” I always ask myself, “What was I thinking when I made the plan? Because it’s always that person that had my best interest in mind.” So, when you’re making food decisions ahead of time, and when you’re thinking about your future, you can ask yourself, ” When I think about my future, when I’m making my food, what am I thinking about?” Because that’s going to bring you back out of that urge and into the place where you’re actually thinking intentionally.

Corinne:

Yeah, I think that was a really good add. Number 10, the last one, embrace doubt instead of run from it. This is definitely a rule that we all have to embrace when we’re going to try to lose weight. A lot of people think when they’re doubting like, “I don’t know if I can do this.” Or, “What if I don’t do it right? What if I fail? What if I can’t?” That is the moment that you know you’re fixing to change your life. Doubt is supposed to pop up in the moments when you’re going to do something that can take you in a new direction.

Corinne:

What most of us do is we listen to that doubt and we answer, “Let me just not do it so that I don’t have to feel the doubt, and I don’t have to feel afraid.” Versus, “Let me go forward anyway and prove to myself there was nothing to be afraid of at all.” Doubt is just the invitation to knowing that you’re on the right track. If you’re not doubting, you’re not even thinking about changing your life. You’re just doing what you always do. Doubt is a signal that you’re embarking on something new that is potentially going to change the game for you. So I always just say, when you’re doubting, make your next best decision. Don’t sit there and think that you need to run away or shrink.

Corinne:

In the moment of self doubt, if you’re wondering, “Can I do this? Will I succeed?” You just say like, “What’s my next best decision in this moment? What is the next smallest, easiest thing I can do?” That is one of the doubt erasers. That’s what calms your nervous system down. Our brains are always just scared of the unknown and the best way to give it some certainty is to just do something so that it can be certain you’re working on it. Not to just quit. That is not the certainty that we want. Do you have anything you want to add there?

Kathy Hartman:

I was thinking about how doubt and worry go together. I mean, I think that’s for me, and I think those two go together. Because when I doubt myself, I worry about what might happen. I worry I might make a mistake. So if he takes a worry off, then you just have the doubt and then you can move on with what you were saying. “Okay. So what? What if I make a mistake? What’s the worst that can happen?” That kind of thing is you just can go in that direction. It neutralizes it.

Corinne:

Yeah. And I think a good podcast-

Kathy Hartman:

Oh, I’m sorry. Go ahead.

Corinne:

No, you’re fine. I was going to say a good podcast might also be to listen to our podcast on Equal Airtime. Because something you said really triggered me to think this. When we feel doubt, a lot of times the action that we take is to move into worry about what could go wrong. Rather than, and this is what I would love for all of you to do. Whenever you’re doubting. It’s easy to think about, like your brain is like, “Well, I’m real certain because in the past you did these things,” rather than your brain getting real certain on, “Here’s all the things that could go right. Here’s all the things that could happen that are awesome.” We don’t give any airtime to that.

Corinne:

If your brain is just craving certainty, it goes back to the rule we had about spending more time in your future than in the past. In those moments when you’re doubting, your brain just really wants some certainty. And it’s going to go where it always goes unless you channel it to your future. Unless you tell it, “Hey, let’s think about what all could happen that could go right. Let’s think about what our future could be like if we said, yes. If we made our next best decision, what would we be thinking and feeling tomorrow? How would we be showing up? What are the things that would change that are awesome. We have to be very deliberate about that stuff.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah. That’s what I was thinking. There’s that deliberate thinking you talk about again. So The Equal Airtime podcast is a Facebook live from almost a year ago. April 3rd, 2020. Yeah. It’s a good one.

Corinne:

I think it’s just important for you guys to hear these messages because we have got to get inside of No BS, when you join the program, we put these concepts out there. We talk about how you put those into play every single day. We have planners, we have structure, we have lessons, we have things that we teach you, “This is how you change your thinking. This is how you practice it. In these moments, this is what it looks like. This is what it does.” But I always want to spotlight this because guys have got to quit looking up, how many calories should I eat today? What foods should I avoid in order to lose weight? None of that is the problem.

Corinne:

Everything that we talked about today, these are the things you must be learning. Because if you’re not learning these things, it won’t matter if you’ve got calories, it won’t matter if you’ve got food you shouldn’t eat. Because if you’re still talking to yourself like an asshole, guess what, eventually you’re going to turn to food no matter how many times Oprah said you got 30 points. You’ve got to make sure that you’re working on this side. If you’re not working on this side, I promise you, weight loss is hard. It is very restrictive. It does feel depriving. And it feels like it takes forever because it’s miserable. And it does not have to be that way at all. All right. That’s all we got for you guys this week. If you loved this episode, please make sure you screenshot, share it on your social media, tag me. You can even tag Kathy. Kathy, what is your Instagram account?

Kathy Hartman:

Coach_Kathy or Coach_KathyHartman or CoachKathy_Hartman, one of the two.

Corinne:

You should probably look that up so we can make it accurate.

Kathy Hartman:

I used to know.

Corinne:

That way we can tell everybody how to follow Coach Kathy Hartman.

Kathy Hartman:

That’s right. I think it’s Coach_KathyHartman.

Corinne:

Yeah. Coach_KathyHartman. So tag both of us, screenshot it and use the hashtag No BS Woman so we can follow more of you guys, we can see what you guys are doing. And when you follow the hashtag No BS Woman, you also get to see what all of our No BS Women inside the membership, what they’re doing, what they’re talking about. We would love to-

Kathy Hartman:

We’ve got some pretty inspirational members too.

Corinne:

We do.

Kathy Hartman:

Pretty inspiration.

Corinne:

We do. And they share a lot of their lives.

Kathy Hartman:

Yeah, they do.

Corinne:

So if you want some community around you, you got us. All right. We will talk to you next week y’all.

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I'm Corinne Crabtree

Corinne Crabtree, top-rated podcaster, has helped millions of women lose weight by blending common-sense methods with behavior-based psychology.

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