What Is Your Biggest Challenge?
When I was struggling with my weight, my biggest challenge was feeling like I was all alone.
At 250lbs. most of my friends and family didn't really get it. It was so isolating.
They didn't get what it was like to want to lose weight but eat because you couldn't.
People would tell me…
- “Just eat less.”
- “Just say no.”
- “You just aren't trying hard enough.”
I know they meant well. But, man, it SUCKED because those “simple” things required a baby Jesus in the golden diaper miracle to do.
I tell you this because I want you to know YOU AREN'T ALONE.
I coach 1000's of women daily who understand you and have had the same fears, doubts and beliefs they can't lose weight.
Recently, I spent three days teaching them Live.
What stood out was how powerful being with women like you can be to have breakthroughs and aha's.
Today on the podcast I'm sharing THEIR WISDOM.
My favorite quote from them was: “Stop fucking up the day when saving it is an option.”
Listen up, soak it in, and know that I see you.
Podcast Episode 136: Four Things My Tribe Members Want You To Know.
People Go Through Similar Things
I have a membership program. I hold events each year for my members. Kathy loves camp and the Don't Stop Believing race. Everyone finishes. My favorite is camp. I teach and coach. The one that just finished was the biggest one yet.
In my weight loss struggle, I felt so alone. My number one goal when people leave camp is to make sure they know they're not alone. Camp is so different than the online experience because you're in the room feeling what other people are feeling and seeing that other people are going through similar things.
1) They're not alone.
2) That someone else has overcome what they're struggling with.
I thank them for taking three days out of their life and working on themselves. You should work on you because when you work on you, you're enriching the lives of those who you love the most.
At camp, they do “Pearl's of Wisdom.” Each table gets sticky notes and if I say something amazing, they write it down and put it up on a pearl's of wisdom board.
I also recorded a meditation to close camp that had everyone in tears.
One of the best ways to love yourself is to not put up with your own bullshit.
Most of you need to learn how to…
- Level up the belief in yourself.
- Trust in yourself.
- Ability to love yourself.
People who are overweight typically lack those three things.
Half of the podcasts that Kathy and I do touch on the transition from “I can't figure this out ” to “I'm going to figure this out.”
Chances are there are other aspects of “I'm going to figure this out” that can be applied to thing things other than weight loss.
Being overweight is a symptom of something else going on:
- You don't love yourself.
- You don't believe in yourself.
- You don't trust yourself.
Learning how to trust yourself will allow you to trust yourself in your relationships, around food, your money, and all kinds of things.
I had the ladies make a list of all their worries. Then you pick one item on the list and figure out if you can think about it differently. Question it. What is my worrying doing for me and what is it not doing for me?
Without all of your worries, would you be eating? Worries are just your brain going off into the future and writing a disaster tale. That's all it is. You've decided your fake fantasy is going to happen. People aren't worried that the best thing will happen.
For years, I worried that Logan wouldn't have a future.
- That thought did not help me show up better as a mother.
- It didn't give me hope or help me think great things for him.
- It limited my ability to love him.
Worry doesn't spur you into action. Worry just keeps you focused on worst-case scenarios.
If you do something, it's not because of worst-case scenarios.
It's because you think:
- “I should actually do something about this.”
- What can I do right now?
- Skip the worrying and go straight to this step.
Death is a good example of how we waste time worrying. I coached a member whose sister was dying. She avoided visiting her sister because the thought of her dying was so painful and she was upset about all of the time she wouldn't have with her sister once she was gone. Her sister did die. I can guarantee that all those years worrying did not help her through the process. By questioning those worries, she was able to work through the fears and spend more time with her sister.
Worrying is optional. There is a life waiting for you to grab and do something with.
Four Things My Members Want You to Know:
#1 Plan your health like you're running the business of your life.
- In your job, you make plans. You look at things and where you want to go and what you want to do.
- Don't hope you'll do better today, plan to do better today.
- Treat your weight loss like it's a business.
- The tribe does a great job with accountability groups.
It's harder for people-pleasers to find the right accountability group. You should try on accountability partners like jeans till you find the right one.
- You need people like you who are going to think the same stuff who will hold you accountable and not agree with you and your sob stories.
- Run your accountability groups and health like a business.
- Nobody likes an opinion that's not asked for.
Most people's problem isn't that they need to lose some weight, it's that they need to change their life. They think that if they lose weight, their life will automatically change.
#2 Stop fucking up the day when saving the day is an option.
This is similar to the concept of making the next best decision.
If you eat a donut, don't say screw it and eat junk the rest of the day.
It's absurd to think that if you eat one thing off-plan that you might as well eat off-plan the rest of the day.
- Just stop thinking you're a fuck-up or heading into shame.
- We're never going to stop the negative thinking, but we can stop buying into it.
- Just because you think something, it doesn't mean you have to believe it. Believing it is a choice.
#3 Don't skip journaling because you haven't had a shitty day.
If you don't like journaling, maybe it's because you only journal when you had a shitty day. You now associate journaling with shitty days. Journaling is for the bad days AND the good days.
- People worry that if they start journaling, they'll discover they're so broken that they'll never recover. OR you could find something you can build upon.
- There might be things going right in your life that you're not taking the time to notice because you're so obsessed with what's wrong.
At camp, they do an exercise where they write about all of the things they love in their life and the ways they're blessed.
- Journal no matter what.
- If you catch yourself just journaling on what's wrong.
- Take several days to only journal on what's right.
- I wrote out five things I'm grateful for every day.
- I also wrote out my ten dreams every single morning.
I've been doing it for a month now.
- I do this, then I fill out my PNP Planner.
People who get up and start their day on purpose (planning) succeed.
I started slow. I have a strong morning routine now and so does some of the most successful members of the No BS Program. The majority of us can get up and have 5-10 minutes to ourselves. I start with how I want to be and move into what might be getting into my way.
After dealing with depression off and on most of my life, I have to on purpose think positively.
#4 Writing it is better than thinking it.
Thinking is an on-purpose activity.
What you're thinking is important. It can work to your detriment or your benefit. When you write what you're thinking, it helps you to set aside the noise.
If you make a plan in your head and you're not following your plan, thinking about it isn't good enough. You have to write it down.
- I write my goals because the more I write, the more ingrained it gets in me.
- The more likely I am to think about it throughout the day.
The brain just sits around reacting unless we steer it in the right direction.
- When most people think about their problems, they don't do it purposefully.
- They typically just go back to the worry stage.
People who write and journal typically have a set-aside time to do it.
- Set aside quiet time to be alone and brainstorm.
- Don't multitask thinking and doing chores at the same time.
People come to camp and they make changes because they spend all weekend thinking and writing. They aren't on their phones.
If you want to lose weight, get “on purpose.”
Only members can go to camp. Take the free course at www.pnp411.com. Get on the mailing list. The next No BS Program opening is December 29th to January 4th. There will not be another opening until April 2020.